Passive Aggressive Notes: Painfully Polite and Hilariously Hostile Writings

by Kerry Miller

Part voyeuristic entertainment, part group therapy, Passive Aggressive Notes offers a fascinating look at the all-too-familiar frustrations of embattled office drones, apartment dwellers, parents, and pet owners everywhere.

This curated collection combines dozens of outrageous, never-before-seen notes as well as favorites from Passiveaggressivenotes.com 2008 Webby Award Winner and the official "Best Blog of the South" by Southwest Interactive festival.

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Comedy, Adult, Photography, Relationships, Essays

176 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2008

Reviews

[Kelly (and the Book Boar) · Rating 2 out of 5]

Find all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/

What better day than Valentine's Day to read a book called Passive Aggressive Notes, right? If you're like me and have been married since tiny 8 pound 6 ounce Lord baby Jesus was lyin' there in his ghost manger, just lookin' at his Baby Einstein developmental videos, learnin' 'bout shapes and colors . . .



You're probably already well-versed at being passive aggressive. Heck, if you're like me even the Valentine's Day present for your special someone can get a bit passive aggressive . . .



If you've lived in the real world for more than a minute, some butthole has probably ruined your day. Either by stealing your lunch from the company fridge or playing their music too loud at 3:00 in the morning when you're trying to sleep or not mowing his/her lawn, at some point in your life you might have wondered if everyone else was put on this planet just so they could ruin your day. The answer is yes, yes they were. But Passive Aggressive Notes will teach you how to ineffectively deal with those bastards . . .



Or, if you're annoyed by the passive aggressive note leaver, how to respond with a note of your own . . .



Passive Aggressive Notes is one of the dozens (or hundreds???) of blogs that have been converted to books. I assume this is done for people like my father who have no idea what a computer is or why anyone should need their phone to be "smart." Sometimes these books are big hits, but sometimes (like in this instance) they miss the mark. If you're like me and love having strange little books sitting around for guests to flip through (should I make a passive aggressive note telling guests that books aren't allowed near the toilet????? perhaps . . .) this is a fun addition. However, it is kinda tiny . . .



which makes some of the entries nearly impossible to read . . .



and the selections aren't really of "LOL" quality, so I can't give this one more than a "meh" rating of 2.5 Stars.

I did, however, place my own passive aggressive note up in what I have dubbed "the hallway of constant light." I'll update this review should I indeed have to cut a bitch : )

[karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

more proof that people are douches.

[Jeanette (Ms. Feisty) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some of these are hilarious, and some of them are only funny because they reflect how little we human beings see of ourselves. The one thing I learned from this book is that I do not write passive-aggressive notes. Every note I've ever left for neighbors, housemates, co-workers, and family members has been direct and to the point. Every note I've left requesting a change in behavior has been preceded by a face-to-face attempt at resolution that has not been successful. So now I feel pretty boring. I'm not hilarious like the people who wrote the notes in this book. That's not to say I haven't thought ugly things about the people who bug me. It's just that I want results. Directness without malice is more likely to produce the results I want.
Now, would you please go change the f***ing toilet paper roll before you lose your bathroom privileges?!!

[Mauoijenn · Rating 4 out of 5]

These were hysterical and mean at the same time.
I believe I may steal one or two of these for future use.

[Eastofoz · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was too freakin’ funny ! It’s a collection of notes left by disgruntled, miffed, fed up and downright p.o’ed people, some trying to hide their anger under the guise of politeness, others just letting it all hang out with a choice selection of handy dandy expletives for every occasion ;)

Each page has an actual photo of everything from a post-it note to a scribbled on table napkin. Some are long winded messes while others are short, snarky, snide and to the point. They’re loosely grouped according to “themes” like flushing the toilet, washing the dishes, cleaning up after yourself, endless waiting, stealing someone’s food, respecting privacy, noise “pollution” etc. My favourites were the ones about leaving the lights on and stealing food –god were some of those funny! The absolute best though are the retaliatory notes especially when they’re “underscoring” spelling errors from the original passive aggressive note --what a mock-fest! The ones that are well-written will really make you laugh (like the one from Vermin Inc on page 11 –holy I could barely breathe after reading that one!) while others may require a double take because you have to sift through the words around the message 8-) Some are seriously hostile, some are “inspirational” and others just too damn funny in their syrupy pseudo politeness.

If you’re looking for a good laugh or even a gift to give someone this book will have you laughing out loud with tears in your eyes guaranteed. For a preview check out the author’s website at passiveaggressivenotes.com –maybe not while you’re at work though drinking the hot coffee because you’re liable to spill it all over yourself when that fit of laughter hits :p

4.5 stars

[Charlie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was very amusing. Most of these were roommate gripes. As someone who used to live in a shared flat, I feel your pain.

[Tamara · Rating 4 out of 5]

My favorites:

Dear roomate: Prophylatics are indeed not to be flushed. (Source: google) Please cease this practice.

Quit stomping. (A passive aggressive note delivered via a carved pumpkin)

PLEASE DON'T LET ME CATCH YOU STARVING MY CHILD (UNBORN OR NOT) BY TASTING, EATING, OR STEALING MY FOOD

Weather changes. Often. It's not always what you expect. Sometimes it is. Life is better if you are dressed appropriately for the weather. I think we have. Pretty much. Squared away the deal with the weather.

[Kelly (Maybedog) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very funny examples if the kinds of notes coworkers, roommates, and family members leave for others. Not all of them are necessarily passive aggressive in my book, just a way to let multiple people know the same thing, but most are really funny, some laugh-out-loud hilarious. Near the end the notes became similar so I felt I was rereading the book but overall it was very enjoyable.

[Alison Whiteman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Passive-Aggression is honestly not funny because folks inflicted with so much bottled up rage do explode. I lived with a passive-aggressive, aka, "crazy maker," man for twenty-nine months. Most devastating to me was how he was so incredibly proud of his skills. He said it is the way to live.

This is a cultural problem. How timely that I just saw friend who spent three weeks in Holland. The Dutch, she said, say it like it is.


All genders can suffer this affliction. Take, for example, a female neighbor I once had who would stroll by and say, "The reason you are gaining weight is you are eating pizza. I see the pizza boxes in the garbage." Zing. Zap. The swing to aggression did not take long either. "Move your car or I am calling the police." There were no designated parking spaces. Zap. Bam. Zing.

Another neighbor who was not used to a life free of entitlement who broke furniture with a hammer for sport, or as she said, to put it in the garbage.


Avoid, avoid, avoid the passive aggressive people in this world because life is so very short. Thankfully many schools are teaching emotional intelligence skills in America. These programs are starting early. -AW

[Christy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I learned that passive aggressive behavior can be incredibly hilarious when it is not directed towards you! This book, which is made up of a variety of real-life notes, makes me wish I had kept some of the many notes I have written and received over the course of my life, especially in a variety of renting scenarios. Some favorites include: "Jesus doesn't steal Poptarts. NEITHER SHOULD YOU...you know who you are". or "Dear stalker, please DO NOT leave anymore notes or flowers on my door! I am NOT interested!" or "Yo, Dipwad! Guess What? Nobody is interested in stealing or breaking into your lame-ass Cherokee. Please remove the annoying hyper-sensitive alarm system as it serves no purpose whatsoever. Love, The people sitting in Starbucks". Read this book with a friend, and laugh out loud!

[Sean Sexton · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is the cute outgrowth of a blog where the author solicited people to share passive aggressive notes that people had left for them. The book shares a number of these notes with us. The format and layout is creative, looking like photographs of the actual notes. (They appear to be either the actual original notes, or very well done creations). Because of this aesthetic, the notes are presented on a variety of "paper" and with an equally diverse collection of handwriting styles.

I found some of the notes entertaining, but found many of them just annoying. It was a bit sad to be reminded of how petty and selfish people can be and it became draining to read a long series of "angry roommate" notes. Perhaps being able to read the notes in the book but not actually have access to the original writers mirrored their original passive aggressive tone.

[Nancy · Rating 1 out of 5]

Oh I LOVE passive aggressive notes -- it's the fun of picking up a dead poisoned arrow and getting the last laugh. I have one on my kitchen bulletin board, from someone who thought I parked too close to her car: it starts out polite then some latch is undone and the writer releases the most seamless flow of colorful swearing and disgust.

But, oh no. This book didn't work. I tried it two different times, to make sure it wasn't my mood -- but I hardly chuckled, and instead both times got a stomach ache from the iceberg of ire these notes represent.

Maybe if these were a series of postcards it would stay funny.

[Scottsdale Public Library]

Dear Reader,

If you've ever lived in a dorm or an apartment, you've most likely seen a note like the ones in this hilarious book that was posted in some common area. The topic varies, and the tone is sometimes ever-so-polite, but a current of hidden (or not-so-hidden) hostility is right under the surface. Try this book -- it's guaranteed to make you chuckle!

But please be sure to control your laughter, so as not to disturb others. (A Joke!)

Many thanks!
Your Friendly Librarian,
-- Louisa A. --

[Denise · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is a quick maybe one hour read. It consists of a bunch of passive aggressive notes that people have written to each other (co-workers, parent to child, room mates). If you need a quick pick me up try this book. Some of it is laugh out loud funny, some just a snicker.

[Laura Elizabeth · Rating 2 out of 5]

Got this free on Scribd. Glad I didn't say for it as it took me 15 minutes to read it and half the notes were too small to read. If you tried to blow it up on the iPad it just got fuzzy. Some notes were funny but repetitive.

[Nancy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hilarious! Read through the entire book in about 90 minutes.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book isn't going to change the world, but it made me laugh. A lot. And sometimes that's all you want out of a book, right?

[Anastasia MacKenzie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I loathe to even add a “funny” tag as it just wasn’t that funny. Some notes are also hard to read.

[Jeremy Biermaier · Rating 4 out of 5]

A mindless book since I had been reading so many serious ones lately. Quick, fun read.

[Jana Eichhorn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Meh.

[Rhonda · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was originally inspired by passiveaggressivenotes.com, a popular website started by Kerry Miller, where people were asked to upload passive-aggressive notes that they have received or have found from any place imaginable. As the website states, the criteria for what constitutes a `passive-aggressive' note is taken from the New York times definition: "the classic description of the behavior captures a stubborn malcontent, someone who passively resists fulfilling routine tasks, complains of being misunderstood and underappreciated, unreasonably scorns authority and voices exaggerated complaints of personal misfortune."

In my opinion, it really means a note with sarcastic politeness and sometimes some harsh words thrown in. Many of these notes were written in response to noisy neighbors, stolen lunches, messy roommates and my favorite ones between lovers, family and friends.

I absolutely LOVE these kinds of books that reveal other people's notes and letters. I find it so interesting to read and this book is filled with some hilarious (and some just plain creepy) notes. The amount of hostility generated by such simple acts really makes me wonder about some people. Some of these notes must have been written by some seemingly crazy people because their comments to others are things I wouldn't catch myself even thinking about, let alone telling someone else. Therein lies the beauty of a book like this: lots of fun without actually ever having to encounter these people or get these types of notes addressed to me (not yet at least but should that day come, you know where you'll find them ;)

This book is a fast read and a fun one to pass around with your friends and family, who will surely get a laugh from these crazy notes.

[Krystina Ramos · Rating 4 out of 5]

Passive-Aggressive Notes by Kerry Miller is a compilation of scrap writings composed by people most likely dealing with anger management issues and/or the individuals that piss them off. The collection showcases insight, humor, and art of petty notes. The notes are written tersely, varying in politeness and hostility with the occasional sight of profanity and caricatures, to express the feelings the composers won't say bluntly and directly to their roommates, coworkers, or passersby. Occasionally, Miller will insert her own commentary to echo the readers' thoughts. Although the book is a light read, I found it to be very enjoyable. There were many times I laughed out loud at a particular individual's expense like the note taker addresses a milk-thief and reveals that is was breast milk. Miller brings to light the darker nature of communication and language that pervades everyday life by arranging each note in a creative collage in which the original media is maintained while the content and levels of passive aggressive behavior are juxtaposed. Together these notes reveal a collective neurosis, exposing each composer's unique voice.

[Rebecca · Rating 2 out of 5]

I guess my sense of humor has changed in my old age or maybe passive aggression isn't so funny to me. Just grow a set and say what you mean?

[carrietracy · Rating 1 out of 5]

Yeah, the notes weren't passive aggressive. Sure, a few of them were, but not the majority of them, which sort of defeats the purpose. And most of them weren't funny. The ones with some explanation attached were a bit better I guess. Some were so poorly spelled and punctuated as to be nearly indecipherable, which coming from me is saying a lot, since I spent 10 years of my life reading what elementary school children write.

ALSO - NEVER READ THIS ON ANY TYPE OF E-READER. It honestly never should have been issued in that format. I read it on a phone using the Amazon Kindle App and it was an exercise in frustration. You couldn't blow up the notes because they are images, not text. So you have to click on each note, then zoom on it, then if you try to blow it up further, the text becomes fuzzy and you can't read it anyway. Violently annoying. Had I not been trapped on a plane studiously avoiding making eye contact with my husband so that he didn't hand me our toddler traveling as "lap baby" I never would have kept going.

[Arminzerella · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kerry Miller started collecting and posting passive aggressive notes on her blog (which became wildly popular). Soon people were sending her their own notes, her collection grew, and eventually it became this book. The notes range from passive aggressive to truly aggressive in tone (with lots of sarcasm heaped on in between). Topicwise, they address the frustration of having one’s lunch stolen from the office’s community refrigerator, roommates who won’t do dishes (or clean up after their cats), housemates who won’t close doors or turn off lights, and noise complaints. Some of these concerns are petty, some are hilarious, some are irresolvable and irreconcilable.

This is a great book for browsing or reading straight through. There’s sure to be something that makes you snort with laughter or vibrate with self-righteous fury. I have to admit to having penned a few of these (types of) notes myself. In the past. Really. Now I just don’t live with people. I’m thinking about not working with them (people) either. Imagine the serenity, the bliss.

[Harris · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've been a big follower of magazines and blogs that publish found and submitted pieces of contemporary human existence, and Passive Aggressive Notes seems to be one of the main standards. I always enjoy, as a writer, the opportunity to see the viewpoints and voices of people in the "real world." Complaining is definitely a major aspect of life and these notes, gleaned from offices, campuses, apartment complexes, and homes in the English speaking world are equal parts amusing and Coming from both the aggrieved parties and the perpetrators of the unwanted behaviors, it is funny to think of the stories that lurk behind them.

Unlike Found, or PostSecret, though, these notes are really pretty one note (ha), and I don't think I'd reread them. It was funny, though, that the copy I read, snatched up from a library book sale and completely falling apart, came with its own complimentary post-it-notes from a previous reader, commenting and expanding on various finds and relating it to their own life. That was definitely a cool bonus!

[Atlantis · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a cute quick read that opens your eyes to the reality that sometimes we are just not as good communicators as we think we are....LOL Brought back memories of college, etc too. One constructive critique about the book though is that the e-format is difficult to read. If you have an older kindle (Gen. 1-3) I don't think it is even possible to read it on that. Maybe on the DX but don't have one so I can't say for sure. I read it on my iPad mini and had to click on each photo and enlarge it to read it but there were a couple of notes I couldn't read because the picture would blur to much when I made it bigger making the writing unreadable. (No, I don't need my eyes checked!) I appreciate that Ms. Miller wants to preserve the authenticity of the notes by showing us the actual note but perhaps the next edition (thinking positively here) could have a e-book friendly typed version of the note alongside the original for easier reading? :-)

[Spencer · Rating 4 out of 5]

compilation of notes (some potty mouth)left by angry tenants, roommates, co-workers,etc.
ex: "please clear any unused time off the microwave when you are finished. some of us have o.c.d. and leftover time drives us crazy!"
or
the post it on the office fridge, "who is the jerk who keeps eating the trader joes sushi in the fridge?" and its post it reply "who is the jerk who keeps leaving such delicious sushi in the fridge?"
or
"this is the 3rd time michael jackson, amy grant, and the cast of disney have invaded my apartment against my will. if it doesn't stop i am calling the police"
or
"i swear on all that is good and holy that if you try and clean anything else that you personally did not make messy i will kill you"
good times

[Nate Jordon · Rating 4 out of 5]

While not the typical "Ulysses" fare I peruse, sometimes "Ulysses" fare can drive one to want to repeatedly flush one's head into the toilet. And speaking of toilets, that's where books like this come in handy. No, not in the emergency situation where you may find your roommate has left you with half a square of Charmin on the roll after you've had a long night drinking Milk Stout and you can therefore use the pages of the book to aggravate that nasty case of hemorrhoids. No. A book like this comes in handy because it's light reading, it's funny, and if you've never written a "Passive-Aggressive Note" then you've probably received one. If you've experienced neither, then refer to the note you'll write to your roommate about the Charmin . . . or lack thereof.

[Kim · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is funny in the same way as the Found books are funny, except a little less so. The thing I love about this book is seeing how creative people can be when they are really ticked off -- like the guy who wrote a letter to people in his apartment about how they were leaving the kitchen a mess, only he wrote it from the perspective of the "vermin" (Stray Cats, Ltd. and Big Goddmaned Racoons & Co.) who were thanking them for their sloppiness. I also loved the one from "the people in Starbucks" which began, "Yo, Dipwad." Not only is "dipwad" a great word, but the fact that they put in a comma is somehow hilarious.