Seeing Green: Don't Let Envy Color Your Joy

by Tilly Dillehay

Don't Let the Shadow of Envy Color Your Joy

You know that feeling, don't you? That heart sting when someone else receives the very thing you desire. When your best friend announces her engagement. When your sister says she's pregnant. When your coworker gets the promotion. You tell yourself you're happy for her, but something casts a shadow. That something is envy.

What if, in those moments, you were able to turn away from the green glow of envy, and see the spotlight of God's glory shine on your friend? What if, your first response was joy?

Join Tilly Dillehay as she uncovers seven common sources of envy and challenges you to change the way you think about God's glory. In doing so, you will learn to rejoice with others, you will experience greater contentment, and you will discover how to truly love your neighbor as yourself.

Genres: Christian, Nonfiction, Christian Living, Theology, Audiobook, Faith, Counselling

208 pages, Paperback

First published September 1, 2018

Reviews

[Douglas Wilson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a really fine book. I will write more about it later.

[Winnie Thornton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Glorious. I didn’t feel inspired to read this book for a couple years because, well, I didn’t think I struggled with envy. What an eye-opener! Envy is one of those rare sins (like bitterness) that simply no one likes to admit or brag about. If you confess you struggle with a bit of a temper or pride, nobody gets creeped out. But envy? Who wants to let it slip that you see green? This embarrassment is one of the reasons why we’re blind to envy in our own hearts. We don’t see the envy because we can’t afford the shame.

Tilly does a fantastic job explaining envy in biblical terms so that you can both identify and crucify your envy, no matter how small and cleverly disguised. One of the truths I most appreciated was her explanation that envy is the desire for someone else’s glory. God gives different glory to different people. One person is a beautiful singer, another a fantastic swimmer, another has a fun personality or a great marriage. And when that person close to you has the glory you’ve always wanted, envy creeps in.

The solution isn’t to squelch your desire for the same glory, but to thank God for giving the other person the glory that you wanted, and honestly bask in the pleasure of seeing that person succeed where you wanted to succeed. Delight in their glory! Revel in inequality! It’s all gift anyway. God’s gift to others is also a gift to you, because now you can enjoy it as a member of the same body. It’s not a competition unless you make it one.

[Hannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was both thorough and easy to read, both hard-headed and soft hearted. Dillehay makes no excuses for the sin of envy but demonstrates, through a number of anecdotes from her own life, the many ways that envy can quietly slip in while our defenses are down and rot us from the inside, destroying relationships and drying up our joy. It's a book that is especially aimed at women, but both the sin and the solution are universal, so I'd heartily recommend it for men and women alike.

If you think you don't really struggle with envy, you may find, as you read, that you recognize more of yourself in her descriptions of this particular green eyed monster than you had expected to see—and that's a good thing. But she doesn't stop by pointing out the sin; she ultimately points the reader to Christ, where our truest identity, our greatest riches, and our fullest joy are to found. When we can delight in who we are and what we have been promised in Christ, we are set free from envy and able to truly delight in the good gifts He has poured out on those around us.

This book does for the sin of envy exactly what I was aiming to do in my own book on the topic of fear: use personal stories to identify the sin and to draw the reader closer to the God who delivers us from it. I could—almost—envy her for how well she did just that.

[Mackenzie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend! Envy is a sin no one really talks about, and this book was an eye opener.

Also, Tilly Dillehay has a beautiful voice, and listening to her read her own book was quite enjoyable.

[Jen Vanderwey · Rating 4 out of 5]

The only reason I didn’t give five stars is because I thought the book wasn’t quite as comprehensive (about depravity)as it could have been. If I could, I’d give 4.5. I wanted more punch up to the universal. That said, the last chapters of this book are just wonderful. The book is about glory, both its source and essence, and the creaturely borrowed kind.

At this time in history, in this post-Christian country where dis-equity is becoming one of the most scorned realities of daily life, this book is unkept and frank and brave. These days, God’s people hate Biblical disequity as much as their pagan neighbors. Envy is nurtured in a prideful heart that doesn’t approve of God’s kingly freedom to bestow on whomever he chooses as much as he chooses. And it comes from a clamorous heart characterized by seeing and feeling and living scarcity. It whines and murmurs and reviles, saying, “I lack. I need. I want. I hate.”

Tilly Dillehay attempts to unpack all the ugly ways envy can play out in one’s heart. Each chapter deals with a particular subject of envy: someone else’s looks, brains, relationships, possessions, competency etc. She is very vulnerable about how the insidiousness of this sin has silently wreaked havoc in her life.

It’s so encouraging to me when I encounter a new female author with a. Writing competency, b. Comprehensive, Biblical Orthodoxy and c. Loveliness and true femininity. The last ingredient is the essential one that makes me actually respect and want to heed an intelligent female with something to say. This girl, Tilly Dillahey. She’s no joke.

[Jordan Tiley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent! I always feel a book on a specific topic is well done when you come away realising said topic actually touches and impacts virtually all of life. This is that kind of book.

I didn’t pick this book up thinking I had a particular issue with envy, but I came away very convicted. Highly recommend.

[Johnnie Each · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75⭐️

This is a great book to read for girls in my generation, who tend to minimize envy by saying they struggle with a much tamer sin "comparison." Dillehay doesn't beat around the bush about how ugly and awful envy actually is and its many consequences. My favorite parts were her giving ways to fight envy, like praying for the person you're envious of to have even more success and praising them in public even when your heart isn't aligned yet.

The book however started dragging in the middle, hence the deducted star(s).

[Caleb M. Powers · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book from Dillehay here—the writing is engaging, and the content is powerful. It was primarily targeted to women, but I benefited greatly from it anyway.

[Emma Phillips · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everything I had heard about this book was that “you don’t think you struggle with envy until you read it,” and I’m here to say that is a true statement. Thankful for the way Tilly confronts this sin head-on. Thankful for the way she brings the gospel to bear in light of it.

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tilly's insights are wonderful and her writing style is delightful as always. Highly recommend if you are a woman and if you sin.

[Anita Deacon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t think I’ve ever read something so devastatingly honest. Not in a faux-humility “I am but a worm” way, but in a matter of fact way that at first has you thinking “wow she has issues” and then you realize her issues are your issues too. She’s neither blowing them out of proportion nor brushing them aside, she is just more frank than most of us ever are with ourselves.
She’s a fantastic writer as well, it was a breeze to read.

Will be going on the “read regularly” rotation.

[Abigail Stacy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Its good. Envy really is one of those harder sins to see in oneself and to then make war against because at first glance it doesn’t seem “as bad.”
The chapter, “Put Off, Put On,” was the chapter that helped me to see my own sin more clearly. Dillehay nailed the description of the fruit that envy bears being what is usually focused on to kill instead of the envy itself.
This book was helpful in that it was thought provoking, convicted me of envy, and was a reminder of what obedience looks like as you repent of sin.

[Katie Bolhous · Rating 5 out of 5]

if you struggle with envy, read this book! if you think you don’t struggle with envy, read this book!

[Emily Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Envy is thwarted pride. The envious woman believes that all glory and honour should go to herself. She can’t stand to witness the glory of another human being because she wants it all. When she doesn’t get it, her thwarted pride gives birth to envy.”

This book explains envy biblically, and how we can identify it and be done with it.

The main takeaway for me was the author’s explanation of envy as a desire for glory.

I’m off to read C.S Lewis’ “The Weight of Glory” Essay…

[Melody Bringe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very impactful. The message of this book is that all glory (beauty, gifting, talents, skills) is given by God in unequal measure upon all. We are to give thanks to God for his gifts to us and to others, cultivate joy, work diligently and through this we are freed from the shackles of envy, bitterness, comparison and resentment to love others.

[Rachel | All the RAD Reads · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don’t usually say yes when authors reach out and ask if they can send me a copy of their new book, but I’m glad I did for this new one from Tilly Dillehay! It released this week and is a book I know will be so helpful and encouraging for anyone struggling with envy (so literally EVERYONE). It was so thorough, so Scripturally focused (loved how every chapter shared direct applications from and connections to passages of Scripture), and really relatable and honest. This book invites us into a more free and beautiful way of living when we step out of our well-worn patterns of comparison, judgment, bitterness, resentment (hello, #enneagram1 fatal flaw!), and all other common kinds of envy... the invitation here is for all of us, and it’s life-changing. (Thanks to Harvest House Publishers for gifting me this influencer copy!)

[Jeremy Mueller · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had never conceived of envy as a hunger for glory until I read this book. This secret sin lurked more deeply in the shadows of my heart than I realized… When another person gains an experience or a worldly possession or even a skill that I desire, I envy them because I perceive they possess something that gives them greater weight in life (glory). Understanding envy as a desire for glory in this life makes the remedy easier to comprehend –– long to taste and see God’s glory more than your own. If you want to experience challenge and conviction about this forgotten sin, read this book! If you want to move beyond conviction and into the realm of progress and joy in the faith, read this book! Dillehay will helpfully guide you to understanding and then to delighting in God so that you can rest easy in his glory and cease from striving to obtain your own glory.

[Ada Tarcau · Rating 5 out of 5]

So honest and beautifully written that it cannot fail to strike a chord very close to home! 


Envy, this “green sickness” that is pained by another’s good, that begrudges the other’s prosperity or gifts, can only be cured by un upward gaze in worship at the One of whom all glory comes.
This “green-eyed monster” that practices “the art of counting the other fellow's blessings instead of your own”, can only be slain by putting on the love and humility of Jesus in all diligence and transparence.


It so happened that I was also reading Humility, by Andrew Murray. These two books make a great pair! They both point out to this process of recognising that we are but borrowers of glory, we cannot posses it for our own device, we are to become an empty vessel that God can fill with His glory.


I have a great respect for the author's transparency (and yes, it does have a good sort of convicting effect). I have also really enjoyed her references to great literature, and of conurse, all friends of C.S. Lewis are kindred spirits.

[Carissa Benton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a refreshing, convicting, and God glorifying book! Highly recommend.

[Abbie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finally listened to this after probably putting it off because well, I know I see green. Really good, very convicting, and also filled with hope because through Christ there is a better way and freedom from envy.

[Becky Pliego · Rating 5 out of 5]

Outstanding. Really. Have you not read it yet? Put in on top of your to-read list.

[Lauren Ketchum · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book saw straight into my heart, what has been buried deep inside but never named. Dillehay’s definition of envy — being “satisfied to see the possession or quality destroyed rather than see the other person enjoying it” — brought a new depth and egregiousness to that sin, and the examples she provides in each chapter were helpful to gauge the presence of envy in several different areas of life. In conclusion, the reflection on the glory of God and the glory and satisfaction we should be seeking was a great encouragement to continue in the fight against our own sinful, fallen hearts.

[Jessi Schwind · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really excellent and honest. The author calls out envy in all our sinful hearts, with personal examples, but provides a Biblical path forward and heavenward. All the Lewis references were the cherry on top.

[Rick Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

In a world in which envy is promoted, praised, and institutionalized, it's important that people see the true ugliness of this sin and the way in which it can be overcome by the gospel. This book is full of great insights on how to be free from envy.

[Hannah Mitchell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every single Christian should read this book! The sin of envy is deeply exposed and explained in this paradigm-shifting work. Helpfully applicable and deeply Biblical. It’s a read and re-read for many years to come!

[Anlee Fekkes · Rating 4 out of 5]

Of all the books on envy I’ve read—seems to be a target topic for women’s Christian virtue books—this one is the best. From the vulnerability, to the scripture understanding and application, to the practical help of putting envy to death, this book exceeds all others I’ve read. She doesn’t hit those shallow areas of envy. She hits the ones we cover up under mounds of other emotions, justifications, wounds, and rhythms we’ve set that enable and grow envy. Chapter 10 provides realistic conversation starters on how to apologize for the impact of envy on relationships. The author also wisely provides some context on when repenting before the person you have envied might bear fruit and times when it might not. She succinctly bears witness to the long term impact of not dealing with envy. And she gave me language before the Father on how to confess envy and begin rooting it out. It is more subtle than I thought.

I’m thankful for her time and attention to what has been an over saturated book topic. Because it’s so common it has become too familiar therefore grounded in us and something we stop fighting against. Tilly picks up pen and the familiarity she has with her Father and sheds god-honoring light on her own fight against sin and her hope for fellow disciples to more freely be alive in Christ. Thanks for that Tilly.

[ValeReads Kyriosity · Rating 4 out of 5]

We hear a lot about envy around here. It's a particularly nasty sin, so our pastor is particularly vigilant to warn us about it. I've never had a great deal of trouble with it (my besetting failures are plentiful enough...just in different places), but a few months ago...whomp!...envy clobbered me right upside the head right out of the blue. Happily, I had all those pastoral exhortations echoing in my head, so I was able to recognize it for what it was and nip it in the bud. It was actually kind of nice to have a fairly easy victory over a sin. My usual transgressions are far beyond the bud-nipping stage. They're more like a massive root system that shoots out three suckers for every one I manage to rip out. Anyway, I thought it would be worth reading this as an extra diagnostic check. It was well suited to that purpose and did not tempt me to dumpster diving.

The reader was very good, for which I was especially grateful since I didn't like the one from Dillehay's other book.

[Kristen B · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very good book! Tilly Dillehay considers a pernicious sin we probably don’t talk about enough: envy. She is both direct and loving in her tone, and I appreciated how she doesn’t shy away from personal examples, as this not only reflects her own humility in confessing a rather unsavoury sin, but also builds relatability with her readers, who are likewise guilty. Overall I found it hopeful and helpful, a good treatment of envy’s roots, effects, and remedy. My favourite chapter was the last one, on the glory we will put on in the new Heavens and the new Earth; a stunningly beautiful picture, and a needed reminder. :)

[Molly Spedoske · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars. Too simplistic at times, but overall clear and true. Great read if you're not yet sold on the idea of Biblical dis-equity.

We're made for glory. We clamor, fume, and wail when we're confronted with others who have more of it.

This book will show you how to get more glory (or rather, get closer to the glory and get more of it rubbed off on you) and how to enjoy it as all and only found in Christ, the fountain. The key is seeing rightly, with eyes cleansed by the truth of Scripture. Seeing our sinful self, seeing Christ's glory, seeing our talents (Matt 25) and doing with all of these what God commands: repent, worship and rest, then work as unto the Lord.

[Summer Sontag · Rating 5 out of 5]

I didn’t want to love this book. I didn’t want to NEED this book. Who would ever confess to being envious? Well, the humble believer should! I loved all the C.S. Lewis quotes and pithy commentary. But the real draw of this book was the raw truth that the author shared and the mounds of scripture she used to help the reader identify sin and ways to tackle it. I have struggled with Envy and after reading this book, I believe I have a better grasp on ways to weed it out. I also believe my daughters would benefit from this book, as would most anyone I know. It’s a definite read and one to keep on the shelf as a reference book for the future.