Rereading (parts of) this again, my second child being almost one year old, I got completely immersed in it, the writing and the poetic, practical, heartfelt way that Wahlgren describes children of all ages. Wahlgren got me excited about getting to journey through all these wonderful ages and milestones and way of discovering and relating to the world, with and through, my kids! She gets me to rediscover the magic and wonder of it. And for that I'm very thankful.
BUT... (and there is a big 'but' here): I certainly don't agree with her on all her approaches or her rationales (sometimes I very much disagree). Many of her methods and examples seem too harsh, and rigid for my taste. I just wouldn't and couldn't.
I'm a bit more on the softer side (which also has it's downfalls) and I'm more inclined to debate with my children over issues, wanting to hear their reasons and needs. Because only by listening to those can I begin to understand what is going on for them. Wahlgren on the other hand puts forth theories and analyses of what children need and what they feel in this and that example that seem very faulty or downright wrong to me and I doubt the child in question would second it.
So sadly I'm not surprised to hear that there's a grim side to this story, that her grown daughter had to tell. That her experience of her childhood and her mothers parenting was much different. I would certainly not recommend treating this book as a driving manual/guide for parents.
Because here's the catch for all parents who are looking for someone to teach then The Right Way of parenting:
there isn't one.
There is no sure way to do parenting and everyone lives blissfully ever after and your children will never Gabor a complain or you won't suffer guilt or regret it growing pains of how you handled this or that situation. Because we are all human and we are flawed and we try and do our best even if a lot of the times it never seems good enough.
But it's all we've got.
But it's not all about children and child rearing really. It's also about people. About development. About humans. About life. About growing and changing and learning and discovering. About how we change.
And Wahlgren writes about that in such a poetic, beautiful, honest, touching way that moves me. She is a human, doing her best, living and learning, flawed and real. She has strong opinions, but she also philosophically wonders and involves the reader in all the question marks that surround us, and where we inevitably have to find our own answers. She will let us in on some of hers, but they might not be ours. I know I like her best when she remains open and wondering and least when she has all the clear-cut answers (some of which I would strongly oppose).
This is a book I can find some inspiration in. So I take from it what I find true and moving and leave the rest be.