Death Pacts and Left-Hand Paths

by John Wayne Comunale

Everyone is looking for shortcuts in life, but rarely do they find the kind they're looking for, and when they do it never turns out like they thought. But what if you were to accidentally fall into cahoots with an other-worldly creature who could provide those shortcuts and so much more? Of course, there's always a price attached to such favors, but killing gets easier the more you do it, and everything is great as long as the rewards outweigh the risk. That is until you find out this was never true and you've inadvertently set into motion something so horrible you lack the capacity to understand or accept it.

Genres: Horror, Fiction

138 pages, Paperback

First published October 3, 2017

Reviews

[Daniel Volpe · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fun, funny and short book. I'm not sure what genre I'd classify this as, but either way it was pretty good. This book has dark humor, graphic violence and fantasy elements. All in all, a solid read for anyone looking for something different.

UPDATE.
I just listened to the audio version of this, narrated by the author. Wow, John Wayne Comunale adds so much to the story with his narration skills. His performance bumped this up to a solid 5 star book.

[Danger · Rating 4 out of 5]

A pitch-black yet comedic Faustian bargain tale that soars like a paper airplane across the page, meaning, it’s a smooth ride from start to finish. While the causal relationship between the main character’s motivations and deeds is somewhat....nebulous, there’s enough gore, gags, and twists to keep this story fun and fresh. John Wayne Comunale is one twisted dude, and with Death Pacts and Left-Hand Paths he’s giving you his own twisted dark fable.

[Kristopher Triana · Rating 4 out of 5]

With Death Pacts, Comunale gives us a selfish, lazy narrator who's willing to do the dirtiest of deeds just to get laid. He's lured in by black magic, which he performs in a hilarious half-assed way, and summons a lesser demon who chain-smokes and watches a lot of shit TV. The two form a give-and-take relationship as our leading man starts killing people so he can win the heart of his dream girl, Elizabeth.

The story moves from kill to kill, and the main character (who remains nameless, as in Fight Club) gains one wish with ever murder, but the trick is that he needs to make additional murders to upkeep the improvements to his life. This is what makes this book clever in it's "deal with the devil" plot.

Commune's writing is witty, with a pitch-black sense of humor, and doesn't shy away from the gory details. Think of this as Faust as if directed by Frank Hennenlotter. My only criticism is that the character of Elizabeth, who is the whole reason the guy makes this deal with the demon, is very cardboard and feels more like an object than a person. Overall though, the book still worked for me and I'll be back for more from John Wayne. Death Pacts and left-hand paths is a fun read that combines Lovecraftian horror with John Waters-like chuckles. Done deal!

[Andrew Stone · Rating 5 out of 5]

DPALHP is, above all, a morality tale, albeit, an unexpected one. After the main character calls up an "Embodiment of Evil" (what a human would mistakenly call a demon), this creature Baz does whatever the protagonist wants as long as he kills another person for it. What's strange about this morality tale is that it is not the summoning of a demon, or even the killing that is the problem. However, the true evil lies in laziness. All the evil that takes place in the book is the result of the protagonist's laziness and mediocrity.

I mean, the whole reason Baz is summoned is to make a girl (Elizabeth) fall in love with the main character because he is too lazy to pursue her on his own. Even worse, instead of getting to know Elizabeth once Baz makes her fall in love with him, he'd rather treat her like a sex-slave than a partner.

DPALHP is a great satire on the modern American male, toxic masculinity, and the lengths to which certain men will go to avoid treating women with love and respect to garner a relationship when they can instead just fuck them constantly and without any emotional consequence, which, of course, leads to consequences far greater than anything they could ever imagine.

[Michael Adams · Rating 4 out of 5]

A jauntily-paced downward spiral of Faustian bargains, satanic soul-swapping, chain-smoking, and murder. What lengths would you go to for what you wanted most in life? This book is the story of one man pushing himself to the absolute limits of that question, told in a funny, tongue-in-cheek style.

[John Baltisberger · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fun book that plays with diabolical mythology and world building. All the characters are fun, and I really enjoyed seeing everything come together in the end

[Nicholas Gray · Rating 5 out of 5]

John Wayne Freaking Comunale does it again! He continues to blow me away with his fast paced stories that captivate me with amazing story telling and funny characters!

The main protagonist was a schmuck that wants a promotion and the girl of his dreams. But, instead of working for it, he finds a short cut through magic. He conjures up a evil being named Baz and from there a killing spree begins.

This was an amazing short read which I listened to in the course of two days! John Wayne has a way of pulling you in with captivating story telling and not letting go until the satisfying conclusion.

If you were to ask me which of the three Comunale books I'd recommend to you so far, It would be a tough answer, but I may say this freaking book! This book rocked and I may just jump into another Comunale book fairly soon!

John Wayne's stories are like crack to me, and Comunale is my dealer! I keep reading his stories craving more and more! I'm probably addicted, but for those who have read his work, can you blame me!!! If there is such a thing as a John Wayne Comunale Counseling program, well, I won't be attending any time soon. If so, I don't need it! I love what I'm intaking and I will buy anything this man releases!

Short, to the point, great story and characters, and funny as HELL!!! I give this one 5/5 stars!!!

[Frank · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wasn't sure what I was expecting when I opened the pages of DEATH PACTS AND LEFT HAND PATHS by John Wayne Comunale. One thing is certain its different from the other John Wayne books I've read already. You just can't guess what youre going to get from this guy other than some solid storytelling of one kind or another. This was, in short, his Lovecraftian effort.

The story opens up quick enough yet took some time to find its direction. Once the plot was set I was very invested in the character as he wound his way through a tale of getting himself in too deep. I just had to know how itvwas all going to end.

And then came the creshendo. That ending. Im just not quite sure whatvto make of the ending. It felt complete but perplexing. Did I miss something? I feel like i missed something. If it was a cliffhanger then cool, cant wait for part 2. If thats all there is then Im just as lost as the protagonist wound up.

But despite my confusion about then end, DEATH PACTS is still a solid read. It is great, modern cosmic horror. Wonderful character development and a twisty plot that grows to cosmic proportions. Another must readceffort from John Wayne Comunale.

[John Bruni · Rating 5 out of 5]

You have no idea what you're getting into. I thought I did, but I was wrong. This seems like a sell-my-soul-to-the-devil story on its surface, but that's not it at all. The protagonist is a dude who wants a promotion so he can get a girl, but he doesn't want to do a lot of work. Even when it comes to summoning a demon, he kind of half-asses it, so he's not surprised when he gets a dud of an infernal partner. It's just that, for the stuff he wants, he's going to have to get his hands dirty. Rather than working hard and earning that promotion, he decides it's a lot easier just to push someone in front of a bus to kill them. Except once the process is started, it accelerates, and he digs himself deeper and deeper and deeper . . . This book is a lot of fun, and it pulls no punches. By the end, you'll feel like you were on a roller coaster that ends by pitching itself off into the deepest, darkest abyss. Enter at your own risk.

[Delia · Rating 3 out of 5]

For such a short book, this story packs quite the punch! The gory parts are wonderfully descriptive, Baz is a really funny and entertaining character, and the world-building for Okanisis was just fucking awesomely imaginative. There's a great twist near the end, but I did feel like the final ending was a bit underwhelming. I think (despite that twist) that it ended a bit too abruptly and I just wanted the story to go on a bit more. So although this particular book is a 3.5 for me, I'm looking forward to reading more of Mr. Communale's work because I really did enjoy his writing style.

[G. Brown · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great little book that helped remind me not everything has to be artsy for me to like it. Sometimes it can just be fun. Comunale has dug right to the heart of pulp storytelling here, shearing away pretense and just allowing himself, like one of his characters, to shit unrefined golden magic all over the reader. Definitely keep an eye open for his future releases.

[Kelby Losack · Rating 5 out of 5]

Imagine a mash-up of Heavy Metal Magazine and the South Park episodes that mostly feature Satan and you'll have a fraction of an idea of what to expect from this wild, hilarious punk rock tale. This one was so much fun, I think I'm going to read it again now.

[Devin M. Anderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Laugh out loud funny

I really enjoyed this book. Baz the demon made me laugh often. Just the right amount of gore. Great interwoven story. Interesting characters. Two thumbs way up for this fun little read.

[Jason Nickey · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fun, fast paced ride. This story is dark, funny, and violent. Enjoyed this one from Comunale

[Bob · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great take on the demon summoning theme. Well written with plenty of humor. Highly recommended.

[Hal Astell · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wasn't flush with cash at Phoenix Fan Fusion this year, so I wasn't able to buy as many books from Artist's Alley as I tend to do or as I'd have liked to do. I've enjoyed what I picked up thus far, and I've reviewed a couple of other Fan Fusion purchases already—'The Terror of Trout Canyon' and 'Valley of the Spun'—but, if I slipped up in my choices, it's surely that I didn't pick up more of John Wayne Comunale's books. He's a real character, in town from Houston, Texas, and I settled for this one, as he recommended.

It's a short read, very possibly a novella rather than a short novel, but it sets its scene quickly and gets on with it without any intention of messing around. What follows is so deliciously wrong that it simply has to count as black comedy, but it presents itself as the time-honoured tale of one man making a bargain with a dark force. Baz isn't a demon and he isn't from Hell—he calls himself "an embodiment of evil"—but a demon from Hell is what he reminds us of and their traditional logic is the structure that Comunale is working with here. Well, kind of.

I don't believe we ever learn the name of our protagonist, because this is told in the first person. It actually makes sense because he's a lazy avatar for our modern culture of instant gratification, so probably can't be bothered to tell us anyway. Everything he does is half-assed because he has little dedication or application, just wants. So, when the clerk at a magic store in the mall tells him that he can get whatever he wants through devil magic, he leaps at the opportunity. After all, he has the hots for Elizabeth but can't be bothered to do anything about it, least of all fight for a promotion so he'll have enough funds to take her out, on the slim chance she might be interested.

I absolutely adored this approach. I grew up with Dennis Wheatley, so the people who did this sort of thing tended to be rich and established, possibly because they've benefitted from deals with the devil already, and they're dedicated and detail-minded to do everything exactly by the book. Which is old-fashioned. How it would happen today is exactly how our unnamed narrator goes about it. He doesn't even buy one of the books recommended to him in the store. He goes home and looks it up on the internet, picks up the cheapest analogues to what's needed and half-asses his way through the ceremony. His approach is summed up like this:

"The pages suggested I get candles made and blessed by a high-ranking witch from my local coven, but I didn't have time for that whole headache, so I just got them from Bed Bath & Beyond. A candle was a candle so I figured they'd do the trick and, besides, they were on sale."

Hilariously, it works. He conjures up Baz—for Bazel—a short and squat little demonic figure with a pair of tiny wings, a deep habit of chainsmoking and a fondness for crappy television. Baz explains the logic. The bigger the sacrifice, the bigger the wish he'll grant, so he'd better start doing better than the couple of pints of blood from the butcher's if he wants results. And so that's how the idiot we're following starts pushing people under buses.

If he wants the promotion, he'd better kill Jim, his only competitor for the position. So he does and hey, there's HR on the phone. If he wants Elizabeth, he'd better kill Jack, her husband. Oh yeah, he had no clue Jack even exists, because he knows nothing about his dream woman beyond how much he wants to get her into the sack, and that's very telling. In fact, after that sacrifice and Elizabeth starts ringing him from the funeral to send him upskirt photos, he still doesn't get to actually know her and, quite frankly, neither do we. She's a prop, a thing he wants, just like the promotion and a growing amount of other things.

This is already a highly original take on the old Faustian bargain story, but Comunale has a further twist coming. While Baz absolutely delivers the goods, he points out that they aren't going to last, unless the deaths keep on coming. In fact, he draws up a list, like the daily chore chart for the kids. You mow the lawn, you do the dishes, you throw someone under a bus. And so, our numbnut lead is trapped in what amounts to a pretty substantial murder spree and Baz gets to stay in our world to do his bidding.

There's a lot more going on here than just that, because we have a whole other universe to spend time in, with other characters from where Baz came from doing things that make little sense to us until everything clicks together and we realise where this game actually began and why. And, for a story that's so gleefully silly on occasion and so deliberately flippant, there's a surprising amount of depth to be found in it. There are moral lessons here, for Pete's sake, and not just what we see right off the bat in the first couple of short chapters.

And there's so much that jabs at the traditions of this tidy little subgenre. Folks have been selling their souls for centuries, enough of them that entire legends have built up around them. We know that it never works out, because the Devil's a sneaky bugger, but folks keep on doing it anyway. It's a given that wishes never turn out precisely how we want them to either, but folks keep on wishing and hoping blindly for the best. What I love most about this book is that Comunale adheres to the traditions but drags them kicking and screaming into the modern day and applies a contemporary twist to them all for the me, me, me generation.

And that makes this 'Doctor Faustus' with the snark of 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' and the mindset of 'Slacker', the black comedy of 'Kind Hearts and Coronets' but the irreverent silliness of 'Monty Python', wrapped up with a sudden and clever twist that M. Night Shyamalan might well be proud of. It's quite the accomplishment to cram all that into a hundred and thirty pages, but then it could be that John Wayne Comunale pushed someone under a bus this morning.

Originally posted at the Nameless Zine in July 2023:
https://www.thenamelesszine.org/Books...

Index of all my Nameless Zine reviews:
https://books.apocalypselaterempire.com/

[Fiona Cartrite · Rating 4 out of 5]

A black comedy about selling one's soul (in a sense). It contains both horror and humor, with it's protagonist (?) having to kill someone each day to keep his bargain with a demon. If not, he'll lose his dream girl.

I like Comunale's stories because they're weird and unique, even if they sometimes fall flat in other areas. The one female character in this is so one dimensional and exists in the book only as an object to be owned by others. But the book makes up for these flaws with some dark comedy and genuine fun. Four stars!

[Nikolas Robinson · Rating 4 out of 5]

John Wayne Comunale brings his usual irreverent humor and blasphemy to this tale of a working stiff who–like many of us–wishes he could find a shortcut to the life he would rather be living. Sometimes, that might be as easy as pushing someone in front of a bus, which–as it turns out–might be more challenging than you suspect. In this case, the desired shortcut comes in the form of a “Satanic” ritual.

A promotion at work, a life of ease, and the girl of your dreams, what would you do to have those things? Would you summon a peculiar little blob of a demon that resembles a demon about as much as the real Hell resembles the one you’ve always imagined from a lifetime of mythology and Christian upbringing–which is to say, not at all? Well, that’s what our protagonist decides to do, and he soon learns that there’s more work involved in making these dreams come true than it would have required if he’d just put in the effort in the first place. Mistakes were made.

Sometimes the shortcut isn’t much of a shortcut at all, but it’s difficult to see that until you’re already on the path, and by then it might be too late. Hindsight is 20/20, they say.

Comunale spins a fun little tale of a life spiraling out of control, the price of hubris, the hollow pleasure derived from cheating your way to success, and how important it is to be careful what you wish for. Along the way, he builds a new mythology of the realm we think of as Hell, the beings we think of as demons, and the harsh challenges associated with bridging that infernal realm with our own.

The author narrates his audiobook edition of the book, and there’s never any disappointment to be found in Comunale’s delivery. He knows just the right amount of sarcasm to imbue the narrative with, and the voices he has in mind for his characters.

[Milwaukee Buresss · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just finished this book and I can say I rather enjoyed Mr.Wayne's conjuration. The story of the main character and his demon friend, Baz, is both very dark and sadistic while still being hilarious at the same time. The story is enjoyable and keeps you on your toes till the end. The book does a great job of absorbing you into the story, and the unique and hilarious characters keep you active and interested in it.

As far as the different parts of the story goes I can say that it is definitely not a book you can get bored through. The beginning of the story hooks you in to this main character who wants something that most people want in life; the babe and a hottie. Nothing wrong with that. Instead of doing the actual work our main character finds himself doing a bit more work than he may have once realized. The middle of the book isn't slow. It's a fast paced novel with action at almost every page turn, definitely a read for someone looking for both a great story but a nice little read. The ending is really what gets me though. All the pieces we've seen move throughout the story finally come to a really great conclusion. I rather enjoyed the ending of this book because it's one of those 'oh I know what's going on' then it completely flips on you. The characters are interesting, the story is interesting, and the writing is great!

[C.M. Guidroz · Rating 5 out of 5]

What would you do to get everything you ever wanted? To get that promotion at work, or the girl/guy you've been fantasizing about? What would you do?

This book was so bizarre but such a breath of fresh air, and I know that sounds weird saying that about a book like this, but it was not tropey at all. I didn't know what to expect when reading this book. The story flowed so well and really had me stomped on what the hell was going to happen next.

So, we follow the main character who just wants a promotion at work so he can take the girl he likes on a date. He goes into a magic shop on his lunch break and is convinced after that he can learn all this information online. After doing his research he gets together a half assed demon summoning ritual and ends up summoning a low-level demon. This demon is Baz, a potato head looking, chain smoking, small demon. Baz is pretty much a messed-up genie, telling him that he has to sacrifice people while wearing a golden nugget of bat shit, yes you read that right, and then he will grant every wish. Of course, as you know, things are never that simple and the book takes off from there.

I didn't expect to like the characters as much as I did. I loved Baz, he was such a funny and enjoyable character.

This book was a quick read that is so much fun, especially if you want something different. I enjoyed it so much and will be reading more of his work. Plus, his cover art is amazing!

[George Billions · Rating 4 out of 5]

If Neil Gaiman wrote for Grindhouse

Death Pacts and Left-Hand Paths reads like a Neil Gaiman story with the grimy weird horror vibe you’ve come to expect from Grindhouse Press. It begins with the old something-for-nothing setup with a Satanic twist. Some goth kid working at the mall gets our hero interested in performing some cheesy devil magic, but what do you know? He actually manages to summon an ugly, chain-smoking imp.

Comunale does a good job continually ramping up the stakes as the book progresses, never letting the narrator catch a break even though he always seems to be on the verge of getting things right. He also makes the baddies his own. They’re more fun to read than your standard variation demons and devils. The magic golden poop was a nice touch, too.

[Gwen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I actually enjoyed this one, although some of the scenarios were so odd and ridiculous (like the golden poop haha). I really was intrigued and kept wondering where the story would go and how everything would play out. I guess I'm not too surprised at the ending because it does seem pretty dumb to make any kind of bargain with a demon given that bargains involve trust and why would anyone trust a demon? Moral of the story is to trust your gut! And don't make bargains with the Devil, of course. Because the outcome is a "What did you expect?" kind of situation. Also, I love the cover art, as usual.

[Charles · Rating 5 out of 5]

A lot of wicked humor in this story about a man who strikes an unholy deal for love. Thanks in part to the hilarious but awful designs of Baz, the creature he gets involved with, the main character stays sympathetic in contrast. Some of what makes the story so amusing though is how he reconciles his deeds to himself with his "end justifies the means" mentality and a worldview that the universe is a messed up place and you do what you have to do to get by in it. Overall, a very readable, funny book with humans and demons and city buses all playing their twisted parts.

[Robb · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall I enjoyed this book. And I read where someone said "if Neil Gaiman wrote Grindhouse", and I have to completely agree. Comunale's witty but bizarre cosmic horror story is peppered with humor throughout to keep the pages turning along with enough gore for the splatterpunk fans. Towards the end some of the humor was a bit repetitive but not enough for it to be a dealbreaker. I would definitely read Comunale again. I've also met Mr. Comunale at a horror con. Cool guy.

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Spoiler free review: John Wayne Comunale draws you in immediately with the main character’s narrative and introduces you to a variety of fascinating characters that keep you turning the page to learn more. It’s a fun (and funny) bizarro take on a classic story of pacts with demons and the consequences that follow. I highly recommend picking this up, and checking out his other works.

[Stephen Cooper · Rating 4 out of 5]

Always love Splatterpunk cautionary tales. John Wayne Comunales book isn't subtle with its message, but it is extremely entertaining. The Faustian tale is equally funny and gory with fun characters who you don't know whether to laugh along with, or be angry with. Love the tone of this book, really cool read.

[blake · Rating 4 out of 5]

A nicely nasty bit of work about a half-assed guy who summons a half-assed demon and ends up with his whole ass in a sling.

As a "deal with the devil gone wrong" kind of story it was tight and enjoyable, easy to recommend for the non-squeamish. What put it over the top for me is the "demonic" backstory: It's a sort of courtly-intrigue in a dimension we might call (for lack of a better word) Hell which gives the story a little more narrative oomph, a little more than the usual "now your time is up and you see the error of your ways so off to your punishment you go".

The protagonist's fate is ultimately incidental to the greater scheme he is a pawn in, which he never really clues into even as he has many signs and thoughts about it. It's a kind of amusing statement about how easy it is to manipulate people with no scruples.

Check it out!

[Lucille Bransfield · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a crazy ride into this occultish book of murder and mayhem. All he wanted was a girl and a better job. How hard could it be? Summon a demon and that should do it. What a rollercoaster of killing to get what you want. Love John Wayne’s crazy books. I know this one was written a while back, but it could definitely have a second part I’d enjoy reading.

[M.R. Tapia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great story. Easily hits home with the world trying to find an easy way to get things while saving the consequences for later. Nothing in this world is free, yet this book is worth every dollar. Comunale always packs his words with dark humor.

[Bo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dont take the bus if you wish to live.

An immensely fun ride on a bizarre sociopathic quest to achieve happiness by way of demonic summoning that takes a turn for the worse.
This was the first book I read by J.W. Comunale but it won’t be the last.