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Overcoming Shyness: Break Out of Your Shell and Express Your True Self
Overcoming Shyness is an easy-to-read, practical guide for breaking out of your shell and really living a life free of social anxiety. It’s divided into two sections. The first section on mindset explores lifestyle changes, new ways of thinking, and using imagination for you instead of against you to expand your identity and know your true self. Journaling and psychological counseling are recommended as well as finding mentors and an online community, such as the author’s. The second section on back pocket tips provides several tools and techniques, such as smiling, the ABCs of body language, the 3-foot rule, the 4 magic words to initiate a conversation and the key to maintaining it, active listening, and the secret sauce, that are guaranteed to get you out of your cramped shell and into the exciting world of social Interaction. The author writes from experience with compassion, wit, and insight so that you feel like you’re having a heart-to-heart conversation with an understanding friend.
- GenresSelf HelpNonfiction
79 pages, Paperback
Published March 23, 2017
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Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews
March 27, 2017
Great book for a person who get their energy from being alone. Yes! I am an introverted. But I am different. We all have a persona. Persona mean mask. We all wear mask. For me, I feel connected with the author. He has the same problem as I have. I was shy when I was a kid. But then I start to become a class clown making people laugh. It was what I was good at. And I wanted the attention you could say. Because I hated school. I love what Erik talk about. I love the method of camera in, and camera out. This book is a must for people who are introverted. Oh, and I forget to mention that the extrovert get their energy from being around and hanging around with people. Fear is real because we make it real.
February 19, 2018
Great, actionable advice on how to break out of your shell. A quick and helpful read.
April 2, 2018
I'm reviewing this book which I got through Instagram in April of last year. Yes, I know. I am so ashamed to admit that I just read the book January of this year. Finally, I found the time to write a review about it. So, this book is about overcoming shyness, as obvious as the title. It's a self-help book. When the author messaged me on Instragram asking me if I wanted to read and review his book, I thought that he saw right through me. How did he know that I was shy as a kid or at times I'm still stricken with low self-esteem? It was a bit of a mystery to me and I didn't mean that in a wrong way. I realized after reading this book, it may just be a case of "simply takes one to know one" or it's just the simple fact that he read my book reviews and saw the honesty and objectivity in them and would like to hear what I say about his book.
If this book came out when I was in high or college, this would have been more helpful to me. At this point in my life right now, I could say that I've pretty much overcome my being shy. Yes, I think. Most of the time, my not talking to people is more of being more focused on my personal issues rather than being shy. It's more of wanting to be alone bordering on indifference, to contemplate on my life than actually being afraid of stepping up and meeting new people. But time and time again, I'm asked to momentarily forget about my own cares and talk to strangers, especially those that need help. I guess, maturity, confidence and being sure of one's self come together. The experiences I had helped me become confident and sure of myself and not afraid anymore of what other people may think.
In a way, when this book found its way to me, it felt like fate in some sort. It's because for the past years, I don't know for how long, but I've been struggling with a lot of personal issues. I'm wondering if I've actually progressed or digressed. Meaning, instead of going forward and achieving things, did I instead fell so far down and worst off than when I first started. Reading this book sort of confirmed that I've actually come quite a long way. The years were not wasted at all. From that very shy girl, I've grown into a confident woman. I could say, I have various experiences and I guess, those have helped me find strength in times when I really need to hold on to something. I may not consciously know it but those experiences have somehow contributed to some hidden reserve of strength I could tap into when everything else has been exhausted. Truly, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Reading this book had me agreeing to it all. Yes, that. Bold red check on that. Correct, et cetera. All very true. It's very straightforward and easy to follow. The hardest is just taking the very first step. Knowing that this book might not be written for me, because I'm not shy anymore is a great thing. Being able to relate to it first-hand is also a good thing because the fears and all the feelings that the author felt while he was struggling with his shyness were exactly what I've felt and have battled with for years before I was able to overcome this challenge. What I like reading about this was that it was written in a way like the author was just telling a story. He wasn't writing this as someone preaching on a pulpit but rather someone humble and bold enough to share his own experience. The author, like everyone else battled with this challenge and that what he did that helped him through it might be just what might help others who are going through the same thing.
In a nutshell, this book only says three things. Overcoming shyness is forgetting what other people think, breaking out of your comfort zone and be unapologetically you. Everything starts with the proper mindset-- how you see things. It's forgetting what other people think. Knowing who you are, what you want and what you don't want. You should know yourself better. People can think all they want, as long as you know who you are, what your priorities are and your values, and as long as you're not stepping on anyone's toes, you're good. Your dreams and your aspirations are what will make you break out of your comfort zone. And this is very true. I have exactly done that and those great experiences I've mentioned earlier happened to me outside of my comfort zone. When I broke out of my comfort zone, I also broke out of my fears and my shyness. But it wasn't a one-time thing for me. It happened gradually for me. It also helped to be around people who are confident and very encouraging. I think one of the factors have helped me overcome my shyness was being friends with people who are so confident that you can't help but feel confident and beautiful too. These people saw me for my strengths and I started seeing myself that way too. And I guess, that's what true friendship is, you share the joys and the good things, encourage each other. I learned to live in the moment and not worry about what people may think, as long as I know I'm not crossing lines and hurting people. I've learned to enjoy my moments and not feel guilty about them because I have earned them rightfully. I have toiled and worked hard and enjoying the fruits of my labor is my prize. Don't feel guilty for sometimes indulging yourself, as long as it's just clean fun and not illegal. My guilty pleasure is travelling and food. Looking back, I don't feel guilty not having bought a house or any real estate. I spent what I've worked for on experiences. I didn't have a lot growing up and I have a lot of things I wanted to experience, so when it came time that I can afford them, I tried them and I'm not sorry because those experiences have made me a better and confident person. I invested in experiences because I needed to improve my self-esteem. I have to get rid of my fixations, my feeling of lack and my feeling of inadequacy by seeing the world and experiencing it. Travelling had broaden my horizon and have made me more tolerant when it comes to people. Being exposed to different cultures and stories, I have become less judgemental and have nurtured less preconceived biases of those people I meet. Each one has his/her story and not all of us have nice, princess stories or happy stories to tell. Horror stories contain good lessons too. And oftentimes you realize that there are people worse off than you, which is not really empowering but makes you appreciate the things that you have and kinder to people.
I give this book 4/5 cages. Overcoming shyness is like breaking out of a cage. It's liberating and empowering. It's not easy and is not instant nor it happens overnight, but all you need to do is just start with the first step and then things will just start to seem not as hard as they appear to be. It's also a process. I, for one am a work-in-progress. From time to time, bouts of insecurity and low self-esteem plague me. Honestly, I have been told a lot of times that I was ignorant, dumb and did not know better and I have been tempted to go back to those people and shove back their tongues into their big mouths but I didn't, because they were exactly those things they called me. Those words were only said because they wanted to feel good about themselves, though at my expense. I honestly hope wherever they are, they are happy so they wouldn't have to hurt people to feel good about themselves. Believe me, I have heard a lot of insults thrown at me just because these people assume they have figured me out and also because I refuse to kiss their asses. And not kissing asses is I guess, one more proof that I have overcome my shyness and bold enough to stand my ground, even if more or less it lead me to where I am now. Well, no regrets. At least, I would be proud to say I have always been honest to myself. If I can't be, then all this work of overcoming shyness or whatnot, may just be all futile. Still, it all boils down to not giving a care about what other people think. I always say, "Whatever makes your happy sweetheart," with full on sarcasm. Let them think what they want if it makes them sleep better at night. Just remember, you know yourself and you should be kinder to yourself.
Getting out of your comfort zone is when the real magic happens in your life. Yes, it can be painful and uncomfortable at times, but it's like getting into a cold shower. When you finally take the plunge, the water stings for a few seconds, but then you get used to it and actually start to like it. Then afterwards, you feel awake and refreshed.
- Erik Myers, Overcoming Shyness -
Thank you again, Erik Myers for the book copy.
If this book came out when I was in high or college, this would have been more helpful to me. At this point in my life right now, I could say that I've pretty much overcome my being shy. Yes, I think. Most of the time, my not talking to people is more of being more focused on my personal issues rather than being shy. It's more of wanting to be alone bordering on indifference, to contemplate on my life than actually being afraid of stepping up and meeting new people. But time and time again, I'm asked to momentarily forget about my own cares and talk to strangers, especially those that need help. I guess, maturity, confidence and being sure of one's self come together. The experiences I had helped me become confident and sure of myself and not afraid anymore of what other people may think.
In a way, when this book found its way to me, it felt like fate in some sort. It's because for the past years, I don't know for how long, but I've been struggling with a lot of personal issues. I'm wondering if I've actually progressed or digressed. Meaning, instead of going forward and achieving things, did I instead fell so far down and worst off than when I first started. Reading this book sort of confirmed that I've actually come quite a long way. The years were not wasted at all. From that very shy girl, I've grown into a confident woman. I could say, I have various experiences and I guess, those have helped me find strength in times when I really need to hold on to something. I may not consciously know it but those experiences have somehow contributed to some hidden reserve of strength I could tap into when everything else has been exhausted. Truly, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Reading this book had me agreeing to it all. Yes, that. Bold red check on that. Correct, et cetera. All very true. It's very straightforward and easy to follow. The hardest is just taking the very first step. Knowing that this book might not be written for me, because I'm not shy anymore is a great thing. Being able to relate to it first-hand is also a good thing because the fears and all the feelings that the author felt while he was struggling with his shyness were exactly what I've felt and have battled with for years before I was able to overcome this challenge. What I like reading about this was that it was written in a way like the author was just telling a story. He wasn't writing this as someone preaching on a pulpit but rather someone humble and bold enough to share his own experience. The author, like everyone else battled with this challenge and that what he did that helped him through it might be just what might help others who are going through the same thing.
In a nutshell, this book only says three things. Overcoming shyness is forgetting what other people think, breaking out of your comfort zone and be unapologetically you. Everything starts with the proper mindset-- how you see things. It's forgetting what other people think. Knowing who you are, what you want and what you don't want. You should know yourself better. People can think all they want, as long as you know who you are, what your priorities are and your values, and as long as you're not stepping on anyone's toes, you're good. Your dreams and your aspirations are what will make you break out of your comfort zone. And this is very true. I have exactly done that and those great experiences I've mentioned earlier happened to me outside of my comfort zone. When I broke out of my comfort zone, I also broke out of my fears and my shyness. But it wasn't a one-time thing for me. It happened gradually for me. It also helped to be around people who are confident and very encouraging. I think one of the factors have helped me overcome my shyness was being friends with people who are so confident that you can't help but feel confident and beautiful too. These people saw me for my strengths and I started seeing myself that way too. And I guess, that's what true friendship is, you share the joys and the good things, encourage each other. I learned to live in the moment and not worry about what people may think, as long as I know I'm not crossing lines and hurting people. I've learned to enjoy my moments and not feel guilty about them because I have earned them rightfully. I have toiled and worked hard and enjoying the fruits of my labor is my prize. Don't feel guilty for sometimes indulging yourself, as long as it's just clean fun and not illegal. My guilty pleasure is travelling and food. Looking back, I don't feel guilty not having bought a house or any real estate. I spent what I've worked for on experiences. I didn't have a lot growing up and I have a lot of things I wanted to experience, so when it came time that I can afford them, I tried them and I'm not sorry because those experiences have made me a better and confident person. I invested in experiences because I needed to improve my self-esteem. I have to get rid of my fixations, my feeling of lack and my feeling of inadequacy by seeing the world and experiencing it. Travelling had broaden my horizon and have made me more tolerant when it comes to people. Being exposed to different cultures and stories, I have become less judgemental and have nurtured less preconceived biases of those people I meet. Each one has his/her story and not all of us have nice, princess stories or happy stories to tell. Horror stories contain good lessons too. And oftentimes you realize that there are people worse off than you, which is not really empowering but makes you appreciate the things that you have and kinder to people.
I give this book 4/5 cages. Overcoming shyness is like breaking out of a cage. It's liberating and empowering. It's not easy and is not instant nor it happens overnight, but all you need to do is just start with the first step and then things will just start to seem not as hard as they appear to be. It's also a process. I, for one am a work-in-progress. From time to time, bouts of insecurity and low self-esteem plague me. Honestly, I have been told a lot of times that I was ignorant, dumb and did not know better and I have been tempted to go back to those people and shove back their tongues into their big mouths but I didn't, because they were exactly those things they called me. Those words were only said because they wanted to feel good about themselves, though at my expense. I honestly hope wherever they are, they are happy so they wouldn't have to hurt people to feel good about themselves. Believe me, I have heard a lot of insults thrown at me just because these people assume they have figured me out and also because I refuse to kiss their asses. And not kissing asses is I guess, one more proof that I have overcome my shyness and bold enough to stand my ground, even if more or less it lead me to where I am now. Well, no regrets. At least, I would be proud to say I have always been honest to myself. If I can't be, then all this work of overcoming shyness or whatnot, may just be all futile. Still, it all boils down to not giving a care about what other people think. I always say, "Whatever makes your happy sweetheart," with full on sarcasm. Let them think what they want if it makes them sleep better at night. Just remember, you know yourself and you should be kinder to yourself.
Getting out of your comfort zone is when the real magic happens in your life. Yes, it can be painful and uncomfortable at times, but it's like getting into a cold shower. When you finally take the plunge, the water stings for a few seconds, but then you get used to it and actually start to like it. Then afterwards, you feel awake and refreshed.
- Erik Myers, Overcoming Shyness -
Thank you again, Erik Myers for the book copy.
April 21, 2017
A great book with a great attitude.
This book is more than a step by step guide on how to not be shy anymore. It helps to express yourself in your unique way and master social communication skills.
This book is more than a step by step guide on how to not be shy anymore. It helps to express yourself in your unique way and master social communication skills.
March 28, 2017
I'm someone that doesn't have social anxiety nor am I introverted. But at times I have been afraid to really open up and truly be myself. This book is short, sweet, to the point, and VERY helpful! I think it has some great tips in it whether you feel paralyzed just trying to talk to a stranger, or you are comfortable around others. Thank you for sharing this with the world, Erik!
March 28, 2017
You may never have considered yourself to be a shy person, but even so there is so much to gain by reading this book. It gives some very simple, practical and useful techniques for boosting confidence before you walk into that meeting or interview, or in any other situation. I also liked the friendly, easy attitude by an author who hasn't just researched and thought about what he's showing you how to do, he developed it to overcome his own agonizing shyness.
I think this book would be especially helpful for teachers and parents of young children who need ways to naturally build up their confidence and self-esteem. The book isn't directed to children or teens, but the techniques in it are simple and memorable enough for a child to learn and be able to use effectively. And yet there's plenty of meat here for adult readers. Far beyond overcoming shyness, Erik Myers shows how to reach deep within yourself and develop the mental toughness to succeed in being who you are truly meant to be. A great read! I will certainly be recommending it to friends, especially the ones who are parents and grandparents!
I think this book would be especially helpful for teachers and parents of young children who need ways to naturally build up their confidence and self-esteem. The book isn't directed to children or teens, but the techniques in it are simple and memorable enough for a child to learn and be able to use effectively. And yet there's plenty of meat here for adult readers. Far beyond overcoming shyness, Erik Myers shows how to reach deep within yourself and develop the mental toughness to succeed in being who you are truly meant to be. A great read! I will certainly be recommending it to friends, especially the ones who are parents and grandparents!
March 27, 2017
FINALLY! A personal development book that gets straight to the point and serves as the perfect "how to" guide to flexing your "confidence muscles". I have read my fair share of personal development books in the past, but this book manages to bypass all the uneccessary "fluff" most authors put in for whatever reason. "Overcoming Shyness" is an authentic piece of work that has helped me to live a more mindful lifestyle.
As someone who is working to "break out of my shell", I find this book SO helpful! As soon as I came across this book, I just had to read it. You can read this book in one day but receive a lifetime worth of skills.
I highly recommend this book to not only anyone who is shy, but people who are looking for effective techniques on how to ACTUALLY achieve their personal goals. If you are trying to overcome anxiety, build a team, be a better person, or just make positive lifestyle changes, you should check this out.
As someone who is working to "break out of my shell", I find this book SO helpful! As soon as I came across this book, I just had to read it. You can read this book in one day but receive a lifetime worth of skills.
I highly recommend this book to not only anyone who is shy, but people who are looking for effective techniques on how to ACTUALLY achieve their personal goals. If you are trying to overcome anxiety, build a team, be a better person, or just make positive lifestyle changes, you should check this out.
March 28, 2017
This is a book that gives me everything I need to know that I can finish in one sitting. In telling his personal story of how he managed to change from someone who was frightened of approaching people to someone who achieved social confidence, Erik gives us loads of inspiration as well as practical action steps. I loved the idea that we are not stuck with our present identity and beliefs about ourselves, but can be whoever we want to be. And I have already started the three second rule, which helps me overcome fear and procrastination just like that! Thanks for a wonderful read.
March 28, 2017
Overcoming Shyness is a life-changing book! I first learned about Erik Myers on Instagram and as soon as I read his uplifting and authentic messages, I knew I had to read his book!
The book changes your thoughts about being a what it means to be shy, and empowers you to be true to yourself while giving you the nudge to get out of your shell!
It's very inspiring read, and I'm looking forward to Erik’s next books! I highly recommend this book!
The book changes your thoughts about being a what it means to be shy, and empowers you to be true to yourself while giving you the nudge to get out of your shell!
It's very inspiring read, and I'm looking forward to Erik’s next books! I highly recommend this book!
March 28, 2017
A fellow introvert at heart, I found this book empowering. I'm always working to push past shyness and find confidence in social situations. How wonderful timing finding this book as I venture out into public speaking and break out of my own shell and being true to myself!! After reading, I'm ready to now begin my own journey and transformation.
Thank you Erik for sharing your story. I love your uplifting message and authentic spirit!!
Highly recommended read.
Thank you Erik for sharing your story. I love your uplifting message and authentic spirit!!
Highly recommended read.
January 20, 2019
It was ok.
I appereciate the author's honesty in telling his story, and he has undoubtedly made a change (congratulations!). But does he really understand what makes people shy, why they stay that way for decades, why the change happened, and why it doesn't happen for so many other people despite their efforts? I doubt. Feels like the whole content is based on his own story, other people he has spoken with, books he has read (including audiobooks, and youtube videos). And sounds like the breakthrough happened in his first few years of college... many people change during that time, though change is not easy by any means.
My main problem is it sounds very shallow and there's not much (any) research behind it. There was nothing in this book that I haven't seen in articles online or in discussion forums. Once or twice, I read: "You may be thinking, isn't this that hocus-pocus positive thinking crap? No, it's psychology." (and continues with other stuff without giving much explanation...) Well, that was a strong argument.
The book has a very high rating on goodreads and amazon, which influenced me to buy it. Probably a marketing campaign. It's good to research a little more before buying and devoting time on books.
I appereciate the author's honesty in telling his story, and he has undoubtedly made a change (congratulations!). But does he really understand what makes people shy, why they stay that way for decades, why the change happened, and why it doesn't happen for so many other people despite their efforts? I doubt. Feels like the whole content is based on his own story, other people he has spoken with, books he has read (including audiobooks, and youtube videos). And sounds like the breakthrough happened in his first few years of college... many people change during that time, though change is not easy by any means.
My main problem is it sounds very shallow and there's not much (any) research behind it. There was nothing in this book that I haven't seen in articles online or in discussion forums. Once or twice, I read: "You may be thinking, isn't this that hocus-pocus positive thinking crap? No, it's psychology." (and continues with other stuff without giving much explanation...) Well, that was a strong argument.
The book has a very high rating on goodreads and amazon, which influenced me to buy it. Probably a marketing campaign. It's good to research a little more before buying and devoting time on books.
May 30, 2024
I saw this as I was browsing the nonfiction section in the Kindle store. I have suffered shyness all my life and the judgement I feel by everyone around me has prevented me from doing so much in my life.
This book explains things so simply with many practical, easy steps to help build self-confidence and break free from the daily pain of social anxiety.
“We become the thoughts that we consistently focus on and attach our emotions to”
“Everything you want in your life is just outside your comfort zone.”
“Others aren’t thinking about (and judging) you as much as you think they are. Most people are too preoccupied with their own lives to be thinking about you”
A: Adjust your shoulders
B: Breathe deeply and release
C: Clasp your hands
D: Display your SMILE!
E: Eye contact
I normally detest self help books but this one I could relate to and didn’t have to trudge through all the jargon.
This book explains things so simply with many practical, easy steps to help build self-confidence and break free from the daily pain of social anxiety.
“We become the thoughts that we consistently focus on and attach our emotions to”
“Everything you want in your life is just outside your comfort zone.”
“Others aren’t thinking about (and judging) you as much as you think they are. Most people are too preoccupied with their own lives to be thinking about you”
A: Adjust your shoulders
B: Breathe deeply and release
C: Clasp your hands
D: Display your SMILE!
E: Eye contact
I normally detest self help books but this one I could relate to and didn’t have to trudge through all the jargon.
January 3, 2019
Jumpstart your life! Read this book!
Short, simple, rational, mindful...
You can read this book quickly, memorize the takeaways, and begin developing your true self (in which you are living your best life) as soon as possible!
Erik's book will appeal to your rationality, help you realize how your fear is holding you back, and hopefully set you in a journey of self transformation beyond overcoming shyness.
Short, simple, rational, mindful...
You can read this book quickly, memorize the takeaways, and begin developing your true self (in which you are living your best life) as soon as possible!
Erik's book will appeal to your rationality, help you realize how your fear is holding you back, and hopefully set you in a journey of self transformation beyond overcoming shyness.
July 4, 2017
All I an say is a was A+a ma zing.' Do more than just read it. Take action!!!!!
This was a enjoyable read. It was not over bearing and it flowed nicely. Especially like the 3second rule and committing my self to a lifetime of growth and change. Simply wonderful. Thanks.
This was a enjoyable read. It was not over bearing and it flowed nicely. Especially like the 3second rule and committing my self to a lifetime of growth and change. Simply wonderful. Thanks.
October 11, 2018
It’s an easy read. The author draws from his personal experiences some practical tips on how to overcoming shyness. The writing isn’t great but more like a friend is talking to you and giving you some advices
August 15, 2022
Good read
This book was an easy read. He offers some practical advise for overcoming shyness. I it was inspiring to hear his journey from a shy college student to a public speaker and author.
This book was an easy read. He offers some practical advise for overcoming shyness. I it was inspiring to hear his journey from a shy college student to a public speaker and author.
February 11, 2018
Surprised!
I was able to relate to many of the examples discussed in the book. The techniques were helpful and I would recommend this to other shy introverts.
I was able to relate to many of the examples discussed in the book. The techniques were helpful and I would recommend this to other shy introverts.
April 22, 2018
Insightful book
Through reading this book I am learning the appropriate techniques to overcome social anxiety and live a life without fear. Thank you.
Through reading this book I am learning the appropriate techniques to overcome social anxiety and live a life without fear. Thank you.
July 6, 2018
Another classic self-help. Classic but not cliche. Worth it!
September 13, 2018
Best one
Simple perfect, excellent book. Loves the way he encouraged us to do instead of just reading. This even works for charisma improving.
Simple perfect, excellent book. Loves the way he encouraged us to do instead of just reading. This even works for charisma improving.
January 10, 2020
Awesome
Really inspiring story and a joy to read, read if you are tired of being in the shell and want to break out of it.
Really inspiring story and a joy to read, read if you are tired of being in the shell and want to break out of it.
April 17, 2021
Great read
Good tips and exercises to overcome shyness and another great book by Erik Myers. Thanks for the guidance and releasing this knowledge into the cosmos.
Good tips and exercises to overcome shyness and another great book by Erik Myers. Thanks for the guidance and releasing this knowledge into the cosmos.
April 9, 2017
Overcoming Shyness was a book that intrigued me. As an introvert, I find it difficult to express my true self at times and am looking for ways to improve. Some of the information contained is stuff I've read in other books and places. But there were some helpful tips, my favorite being the 5 second rule to take action.
I'd rather use the 5 second rule for action, as opposed to eating food that falls on the ground, any day. But that nugget of wisdom was easy to work into my day and effective, too.
I'd rather use the 5 second rule for action, as opposed to eating food that falls on the ground, any day. But that nugget of wisdom was easy to work into my day and effective, too.
April 30, 2017
Overcome you shall...
This book is super relatable. It's not just a book to overcome shyness, but to make a conscious decision to become a better version of yourself. Such an easy read with many "that totally make sense" moments.
This book is super relatable. It's not just a book to overcome shyness, but to make a conscious decision to become a better version of yourself. Such an easy read with many "that totally make sense" moments.
Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews