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The LawDog Files
LawDog had the honor of representing law and order in the Texas town of Bugscuffle as a Sheriff's Deputy, where he became notorious for, among other things, the famous Case of the Pink Gorilla Suit. In THE LAWDOG FILES, he chronicles his official encounters with everything from naked bikers, combative eco-warriors, suicidal drunks, respectful methheads, prison tattoo artists, and creepy children to six-foot chickens and lethal chihuahuas.
THE LAWDOG FILES range from the bittersweet to the explosively hilarious, as LawDog relates his unforgettable experiences in a laconic, self-deprecating manner that is funny in its own right. The book is more than mere entertainment, it is an education in two English dialects, Police and Texas Country. And underlying the humor is an unmistakable sympathy for society's less fortunate - and in most cases, significantly less intelligent - whose encounters with the law are an all-too-frequent affair.
THE LAWDOG FILES range from the bittersweet to the explosively hilarious, as LawDog relates his unforgettable experiences in a laconic, self-deprecating manner that is funny in its own right. The book is more than mere entertainment, it is an education in two English dialects, Police and Texas Country. And underlying the humor is an unmistakable sympathy for society's less fortunate - and in most cases, significantly less intelligent - whose encounters with the law are an all-too-frequent affair.
216 pages, Kindle Edition
Published July 13, 2017
206 people are currently reading
75 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews
April 17, 2021
Some very humorous tales from a law enforcement officer and jailer of his years in uniform. I have heard police officers tell me before that stupid criminals make their life easier, but I think this author was blessed with some of the most moronic law breakers ever. Of course to balance things out, some of the tales also include policemen who are missing a few brain cells too. You will want to read it to the end so you can see how pink bunnies have their place in combatting the current meth epidemic.
September 10, 2017
Had to keep stopping myself from reading bits to family. Only regret is there weren't more stories. Jaw muscles are cramped from grinning throughout the book. Only complaint was that some of the phrases were out of my experience.
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July 19, 2017Brilliant
Funny, sad, then laugh-out-loud hilarious. Very well written, with anecdotes that reveal a panoply of human nature. It will make you giggle, and then think about people in a new way.
Funny, sad, then laugh-out-loud hilarious. Very well written, with anecdotes that reveal a panoply of human nature. It will make you giggle, and then think about people in a new way.
August 6, 2017
A Glimpse into small town law enforcement
Anyone who's ever lived in a small Texas town will be able to recognize at least a few of these characters from their own experiences especially if you've ever been connected with law enforcement...or had a brother-in-law...
Anyone who's ever lived in a small Texas town will be able to recognize at least a few of these characters from their own experiences especially if you've ever been connected with law enforcement...or had a brother-in-law...
August 5, 2017
I obtained this book through the Kindle Unlimited program.
Papa Pat Rambles has some extended material somewhat related to the book:
http://habakkuk21.blogspot.com/2017/0...
The cover deserves a closer look; not only is the badge featured, but if you look closely, you'll see that the background is a scene from what could very well be one of the LawDog's hangouts. Scott Beaulieu is the artist.
If not quite of the same status as an imprimatur, a Foreword written by Larry Corriea has at least symbolic value to the hordes who shamble after him, holding out cash and begging for something else to read. In this case, though, it serves to tie in the current work with an experience that many of us (at least those of a certain level of maturity of years) have shared: finding a bright ray of light in the early days of what has become the Internet. Long before pictures of cats were available, text-based bulletin boards gradually evolved into text based fora, where grim knowledge was exchanged, along with the occasional insult. LawDog injected some humor into the wasteland, and thus won a following. (Note: I am a member of that same forum, dating from about 10 years after LawDog started posting. Sigh. Had I only started earlier, who knows? Perhaps I would now own a mountain.)
The stories are a selection of the material LawDog has posted over the last 20 years. Prior to each story, he provides some of the background material that lead up to the post. For those of us who LOVE back story, this is exactly the sort of icing on the cake that makes us feel like we are part of the inner circle.
The very first story he posted, sometime in the late 1990s, had a drunken, lovestruck armadillo as a main character. What makes the story stand out, however, is not the armadillo, but LawDog's ability with language to poke fun at himself. He describes hanging upside down in a thorny hedge, while fellow LEOs and other emergency service people are standing around, helpless with laughter, in such a way that we are brought into the event. With talent like this, and material to work with with, failure to amuse was NOT an option.
LawDog kills Santa Claus. He falls on the ice, and uses that as a tool to catch a miscreant. He introduces us to characters we NEVER hope to meet in person, including various members of Big Mama's family. He also gives us insight into the times when the solution to a crime problem DOESN'T involve an arrest, and the times when sitting in silence is the very best choice that can be made.
It's the latter, I believe, that keep the LawDog from that edge of cynicism about the human condition that grinds so many cops into the ground. If you want a beautiful picture of human compassion, then read "Going Home," a story about his search for an elderly man missing from a nursing home.
He gives us delicate and tasteful advice: "If you’re going to Say It With Saliva in Texas, make sure your boyfriend can take a whuppin’."
He describes the brilliance and utter stupidity of inmates, who publish their crimes on social media, and who are able to recognize legitimacy of reports based on they type of language and ink used.
And, of course, the should-be-deservedly-so famous story of the Pink Gorilla Suit. It's so famous, it's INFAMOUS. Like El Guapo.
Be sure of this: unless you are ill, incarcerated, or have very little sense of humor (poor soul), you will find something to love in the LawDog Files.
And on August 10, the LawDog's African stories will be available on Amazon.
Papa Pat Rambles has some extended material somewhat related to the book:
http://habakkuk21.blogspot.com/2017/0...
The cover deserves a closer look; not only is the badge featured, but if you look closely, you'll see that the background is a scene from what could very well be one of the LawDog's hangouts. Scott Beaulieu is the artist.
If not quite of the same status as an imprimatur, a Foreword written by Larry Corriea has at least symbolic value to the hordes who shamble after him, holding out cash and begging for something else to read. In this case, though, it serves to tie in the current work with an experience that many of us (at least those of a certain level of maturity of years) have shared: finding a bright ray of light in the early days of what has become the Internet. Long before pictures of cats were available, text-based bulletin boards gradually evolved into text based fora, where grim knowledge was exchanged, along with the occasional insult. LawDog injected some humor into the wasteland, and thus won a following. (Note: I am a member of that same forum, dating from about 10 years after LawDog started posting. Sigh. Had I only started earlier, who knows? Perhaps I would now own a mountain.)
The stories are a selection of the material LawDog has posted over the last 20 years. Prior to each story, he provides some of the background material that lead up to the post. For those of us who LOVE back story, this is exactly the sort of icing on the cake that makes us feel like we are part of the inner circle.
The very first story he posted, sometime in the late 1990s, had a drunken, lovestruck armadillo as a main character. What makes the story stand out, however, is not the armadillo, but LawDog's ability with language to poke fun at himself. He describes hanging upside down in a thorny hedge, while fellow LEOs and other emergency service people are standing around, helpless with laughter, in such a way that we are brought into the event. With talent like this, and material to work with with, failure to amuse was NOT an option.
LawDog kills Santa Claus. He falls on the ice, and uses that as a tool to catch a miscreant. He introduces us to characters we NEVER hope to meet in person, including various members of Big Mama's family. He also gives us insight into the times when the solution to a crime problem DOESN'T involve an arrest, and the times when sitting in silence is the very best choice that can be made.
It's the latter, I believe, that keep the LawDog from that edge of cynicism about the human condition that grinds so many cops into the ground. If you want a beautiful picture of human compassion, then read "Going Home," a story about his search for an elderly man missing from a nursing home.
He gives us delicate and tasteful advice: "If you’re going to Say It With Saliva in Texas, make sure your boyfriend can take a whuppin’."
He describes the brilliance and utter stupidity of inmates, who publish their crimes on social media, and who are able to recognize legitimacy of reports based on they type of language and ink used.
And, of course, the should-be-deservedly-so famous story of the Pink Gorilla Suit. It's so famous, it's INFAMOUS. Like El Guapo.
Be sure of this: unless you are ill, incarcerated, or have very little sense of humor (poor soul), you will find something to love in the LawDog Files.
And on August 10, the LawDog's African stories will be available on Amazon.
February 27, 2021
The short stories in this collection are generally quite funny - except for the ones that are hilarious. Funny to the point that they were exhausting and a problem for my wife. Exhausting because I would keep on reading long past the point when any sane person would have put the book down and gotten some sleep. A problem, because I kept insisting on sharing stories with her and late at night while she was sleeping I wasn't always able to smother my laughs. Even stories that I read before online in LawDog's blog were well worth a second (or third) read.
I plan to buy copies of this book to give as presents to family and friends.
I plan to buy copies of this book to give as presents to family and friends.
July 31, 2017
No reference
I'm i am not a cop
I haven problems with file 17 it went so far over my head i missed the humor i know if was there i just had no reference .
You started well recalling your audience but now at 21it's so abbreviated i have no idea what your talking about . You lost me entirely at 17 it went downhill from there your audience is people not cops so recall that when u are reminiscing. They are good stories just remember your audience are pretty much peeps in training.
I'm i am not a cop
I haven problems with file 17 it went so far over my head i missed the humor i know if was there i just had no reference .
You started well recalling your audience but now at 21it's so abbreviated i have no idea what your talking about . You lost me entirely at 17 it went downhill from there your audience is people not cops so recall that when u are reminiscing. They are good stories just remember your audience are pretty much peeps in training.
July 15, 2017
The only thing better than the book is heading Lawdog tell the stories in person.
The all too true stories of a deputy Sheriff in a small rural department in Texas come vividly to life in his first book. Since you aren't likely to get to hear Lawdog tell these stories in person, he being the shy, retiring type, this book is your next best option. At least until Hollywood realizes how much money they'd make putting this in the silver screen.
The all too true stories of a deputy Sheriff in a small rural department in Texas come vividly to life in his first book. Since you aren't likely to get to hear Lawdog tell these stories in person, he being the shy, retiring type, this book is your next best option. At least until Hollywood realizes how much money they'd make putting this in the silver screen.
January 31, 2018
This is just a collection of short stories, about the daily experiences of a small town Texas Sheriffs Officer. The only really great tale in it is the one about the Pink Gorilla Suit. The others are a conglomeration of mundane to interesting stories about the criminals and townsfolk Lawdog dealt with in his time as a cop.
I liked it, and I want to read his Africa stories, but I suspect it'll be more of the same..
I liked it, and I want to read his Africa stories, but I suspect it'll be more of the same..
June 30, 2018
Well worth your time and money
I've actually followed LawDog .since the early The Firing Line days. I e Ben re member when his mom took over posting for a while because of the truck accident. Having said all that, it should come as no surprise that I've already read most of these stories - but I didn't mind reading them again one little bit. And if you've not read any of them, you are in for a real treat.
I've actually followed LawDog .since the early The Firing Line days. I e Ben re member when his mom took over posting for a while because of the truck accident. Having said all that, it should come as no surprise that I've already read most of these stories - but I didn't mind reading them again one little bit. And if you've not read any of them, you are in for a real treat.
July 20, 2017
The author is a story teller of the old school. This thing had me pulling over in parking lots to read just one more story.
Lawdog. ... has a way with words. In true story teller fashion, he creates images in your head that talk to you. They talk to something deep inside you. ... And you LAUGH in recognition.
Lawdog. ... has a way with words. In true story teller fashion, he creates images in your head that talk to you. They talk to something deep inside you. ... And you LAUGH in recognition.
July 21, 2017
You WILL laugh
seriously, this is one funny book. In fact, I can't think of anything I've read recently that was funnier. Lawdog has a wonderful way of putting things that can't help but delight which ensured this was a pleasure to read from page one. Top notch and well played Lawdog, most enjoyable and highly recommended. (Read on Kindle Unlimited)
seriously, this is one funny book. In fact, I can't think of anything I've read recently that was funnier. Lawdog has a wonderful way of putting things that can't help but delight which ensured this was a pleasure to read from page one. Top notch and well played Lawdog, most enjoyable and highly recommended. (Read on Kindle Unlimited)
July 26, 2017
Long Wait
But well worth it. If you have read the blog there is nothing new here, if you haven't you are in for a treat. If you can get through the story about Mr. Johnson without getting a lump in your throat...well then I don't think we can be friends.
But well worth it. If you have read the blog there is nothing new here, if you haven't you are in for a treat. If you can get through the story about Mr. Johnson without getting a lump in your throat...well then I don't think we can be friends.
July 31, 2017
As unusual book showcasing the humorous aspects of being a small town Deputy Sheriff. Some of the tales are laugh out loud while others just make you think. Any book that incorporates an amorous drunken Amarillo and a 6 ft Chicken has to be funny
August 4, 2017
Great stories
I have family that work in law enforcement. They have many stories too. I laughed out loud throughout this entire book. OMG, I would recommend this to anyone how needs to laugh/smile or just shake your head in wonder.
I have family that work in law enforcement. They have many stories too. I laughed out loud throughout this entire book. OMG, I would recommend this to anyone how needs to laugh/smile or just shake your head in wonder.
August 8, 2017
True to the life of small town law officers
Hilarious. Small real life stories. I laughed out loud. Being married to a career law officer, I've heard stories just like these. Its real people. You can't make this stuff up!
Hilarious. Small real life stories. I laughed out loud. Being married to a career law officer, I've heard stories just like these. Its real people. You can't make this stuff up!
August 9, 2017
Great!
As a former law enforcement officer, I found Law Dog's stories to be not only funny but right on the money, especially when he talks about the different characters one meets while on the job. I loved it!
As a former law enforcement officer, I found Law Dog's stories to be not only funny but right on the money, especially when he talks about the different characters one meets while on the job. I loved it!
August 19, 2017
Good laughs!
"They skinned Pinky! " I found myself sharing lines from the book with my wife, as I read it. I think that I'll splurge on a dead tree copy, and maybe try Lawdog's Africa book.
"They skinned Pinky! " I found myself sharing lines from the book with my wife, as I read it. I think that I'll splurge on a dead tree copy, and maybe try Lawdog's Africa book.
November 2, 2017
I followed this guy for a couple of years on some forums. We harassed him for year to put those tales into book form. Thank goodness he finally did. From amorous armadillos to bipedal water buffalo, he has a unique take on how to handle the situation. Don’t try to drink anything hot as you read.
June 16, 2018
Snort snort
OMG don't eat or drink anything while reading this or you are in danger of spraying it over everything around. Such fun to read and I had my wife rolling her eyes and saying control your self my dear. Please please give us more!
OMG don't eat or drink anything while reading this or you are in danger of spraying it over everything around. Such fun to read and I had my wife rolling her eyes and saying control your self my dear. Please please give us more!
January 22, 2020
I enjoyed this book so much! If you have ever worked in a law enforcement or first responder field, you will recognize the variety of characters in these stories. It is written with humor by an author that’s not afraid to laugh at himself. Read it, you will be glad you did!
July 17, 2017
Gigglesnort!
Lawdog's blog and forum posts of his days as a north Texas peace officer, now in handy dandy book format.
Lawdog's blog and forum posts of his days as a north Texas peace officer, now in handy dandy book format.
July 20, 2017
Very funny
This book will have you laughing out loud. The down home humor told I a folksy manner will remind you of your favorite uncle.
This book will have you laughing out loud. The down home humor told I a folksy manner will remind you of your favorite uncle.
July 20, 2017
LawDog leads the pack
Fun stories told with good humor on small town policing. Some of the stories are even touching in the care and consideration.
Fun stories told with good humor on small town policing. Some of the stories are even touching in the care and consideration.
July 22, 2017
Awesome
I read most of these online but they're even better with the introductions. Looking forward to the African stories next.
I read most of these online but they're even better with the introductions. Looking forward to the African stories next.
July 24, 2017
Extremely good and funny stories about the working life of a rural Texas lawman.
August 1, 2017
Several episodes of snarfed coffee, two descents into hysterical laughter. Eagerly awaiting the next volume.
August 8, 2017
Loved it
This book right cheer made me laugh and giggle and all those other happy noises one can make when enjoying a good book.
This book right cheer made me laugh and giggle and all those other happy noises one can make when enjoying a good book.
September 21, 2017
It was pretty funny. I found it browsing the Kindle library. I needed something light after reading the Anne Perry murders.
September 28, 2017
An entertaining book made up of short stories of a Texas officer.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews