Parisian Charm School: French Secrets for Cultivating Love, Joy, and That Certain je ne sais quoi

by Jamie Cat Callan

An engaging and practical guide to cultivating inner beauty, mystique, and that irresistible je ne sais quoi

We all know that French women don't get fat. But their famous joie de vivre comes from more than just body type--something anyone can master: the old-fashioned art of finding and keeping romance alive, at any age.

Filled with advice and insights from Parisian women, this delightful guide shows readers how to cultivate charm and mystique in the age of Tinder and OKCupid--to find lasting romance and connection. From first impressions, lively conversation (in person!), and cultivating social finesse to embracing femininity and communicating with grace and humor, this is age-old advice that's more precious than ever in our disconnected world.

For anyone who's tired of texting with strangers who don't write back, here's an inspiring guide to a better way.

Genres: Nonfiction, France, Lifestyle, Self Help, Audiobook, Fashion, Travel

221 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 2, 2018

About the author

Jamie Cat Callan latest book, Parisian Charm School will be released from Penguin Random House in January 2018. She is the author of "Bonjour, Happiness!" and the wildly successful "French Women Don't Sleep Alone." Inspired by her beautiful and elegant French grandmother, Jamie has traveled all over France, interviewing hundreds of women to uncover their secrets to simple, authentic pleasures, including how to stay stylish at any age, how to enjoy more with less and how we too can find our joie de vivre, American style. Jamie is also the creator of The Writers Toolbox. Jamie has taught her unique right-brain style of writing at Grub Street, UCLA., NYU, Wesleyan University and Yale University. She has won a Massachusetts Cultural Council grant in fiction and a Virginia Center for the Creative Arts fellowship to write in Auvillar, France.

Reviews

[H. · Rating 2 out of 5]

Silly. Perhaps the silliest thing I have ever read.
Worse, it's empty of everything including what it promises. Callan is a long-married older woman who just likes writing about the nice feeling of Frenchiness (not much deeper than that). She seems to have struggled to find a handful of women with any relation to France under the age of 45 who'd been romanced in the last 10 years in order to fill a book with their anecdotes. The book punctuates with a story about a relationship between an American and a Canadian.
Her charm school advice amounts to:
1. Throw dinner parties.
2. Claim a signature color.
Those 2 things are pretty much all you need to know!

[Sunnie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Totally charming instructions on how to be a lovely "French-inspired " woman of the world. I love the thought of the flowers, the hints of lace, that bit of mystery, dancing in the dark, but very smart, well read, very continental, oh, and the fromage!. You will be charmed as well. Au revoir!

[Габриела Щинова · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Трябва да образоваме себе си и да обединим най-неустоимата комбинация от красота и ум. Трябва да четем. Да, всъщност аз твърдя, че първият уводен урок в Парижката школа по чар е този: четете книги.

А след това можете да ги натрупате на върха на главата си и да упражнявате стойката си, но този урок е за друг ден."

"Книгите обичат свежия въздух. Вярно е. Самият процес на четенето се променя, когато потънете във въображаемата история и след това вдигнете поглед, за да видите света около вас с нови очи. Листата на дърветата изглеждат малко по-зелени, въздухът е по- топъл, а небето е синьо. Почетете в парка, в някое кафене, в книжарница или ако денят е дъждовен, почетете в библиотеката. Можете да четете от таблет, но бих искала да ви убедя да носите със себе си старомодна книга с твърди корици. Всъщност носете голяма книга с интересни корици."

[Theresa · Rating 1 out of 5]

Seriously????

[Verushka · Rating 3 out of 5]

What is this about?: My deep love for all things French and Paris!

What is this REALLY about?: Letting yourself go and allowing yourself to think differently about things: about reading and men and even flirting. I suspect you know all this anyway, but there’s a charm to Jamie Cat Callan’s writing that makes you reconsider these things that you may have once thought had no place in your hectic life.

When I started reading Parisian Charm School, I didn’t quite expect a guide to things I thought I’d already knew – and yes, it says it right there in the blurb, but I have these blinders when it comes to things with Paris in the title.

And yes, I got irritated when I started reading. This is a book that tells you about how Callan discovered how French women flirt, and fall in love. Or to be more exact, get men to fall in love with them. Which you know, thanks very much – I got that.

I also wanted to point out to her that she doesn’t mention money, time, children and mortgages in her book…

But I kept reading and here’s the thing: it’s all in Callan’s delivery.

There’s no lecturing here, and instead we have a woman who has explored what she’s writing, and indeed, writes about her experiences, but what she does is remind women that all those things they have probably already thought about: picking a signature colour, enjoying what you wear and here’s a good one – sharing your intellect with a man, and challenging him ….

Alright, look that sounds condescending, but Callan delivers it in a much more charming way. She’s encouraging you to think about your life differently — to think about the things you think you can’t do differently. Going to a lecture which doesn’t cost money, for instance. And shopping in a second hand store isn’t going to cost as much as shopping in a boutique.

I think the best way to put this is like this: this is a book that’s a reminder that you should allow yourselves to do the things you’re always putting off. And god knows, haven’t we all put off things time and time again for whatever reason?

[False · Rating 1 out of 5]

I read an article the other day about these books that promote the genius of French women: style, dieting, keeping a man, seducing a man.....The author stated she felt her passion for these silly books was like a dirty secret, and I had to laugh. I care nothing for them. They are nonsense, but I'll usually grab one off the library shelf knowing it's a quick and easy read. Using interviews with women she knows and their philosophies (and it's surprising how many are non-French living in France,) and then promoting a lesson followed by a "pratique," which is an application of the rule. They are the ends of the chapters and run:

Lesson One: To promote a spark in others, you must first be able to put that spark in yourself. To read. Develop an intellectual life. The pratique is to attend a lecture (between 1-3) to stimulate your mind and be out among other people.

Lesson Two: Develop a terroir. Know yourself. Study clothing and your own wardrobe. Through clothing, build confidence. The pratique is to think about your ancestor. Who most interests you. Go through your clothing and study your colors and selections. Do you have an inherited piece of jewelery? Wear it for at least a month and see if you get comments.

Lesson Three: How can you fit dancing into your life on a regular basis. What are your roots? Seek impromptu dancing and the pratique is to dance at home and think of taking a dance class. Take your boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse by the hand and sway back and forth, to start. I say "learn the tango."

Lesson Four: Travel. Don't shut out the world physically and intellectually. Pratique. Make trips even if they are just short day trips.

Lesson Five: Flowers. Learn about them. Pink lilies can start a conversation. Pratique. Go into nature. Pin a flower to your clothing or hair. Talk to a man you don't know. Just talk.

Lesson Six: Color. Find your colors. Never settle for just dull colors. Have a signature color. Pratique: Wear or add color accents during this week's lesson. Go through your closet and organize by color.

Lesson Seven: Learn how to innocently flirt Secrecy in your life, use surprise, train your voice (sound), smile, use different smiles, styles and a signature lipstick in red. Lesson: learn to flirt with your eyes alone. Having more decorum in your life gives you greater freedom in separating public from private space. Pratique: you can flirt anywhere, even the post office. Use accessories to play with or remove slowly: sunglasses, scarves,, gloves, etc.

Lesson Eight: Soften your voice to reflect sensuality and comfort. The old Coty ad, "If you want to attract someone's attention, whisper." You don't need to shout. Pratique: Record your voice and listen to it. Rid yourself of profanity. Modulate your voice. Make your voice a delightful place where people lean in and listen.

Lesson Nine: Food is love. Having people in your home. Entertaining. It can be simple food, but make sure it tastes good and there are flowers and a good mix of people and generations. Pratique: Start small if you've never hosted before. Create a monthly pot luck and grow the group from it's core. Picnics. Music and dancing. Share stories.

Lesson Ten: Create mystery. Have secrets. Be reserved at times. Put a flower in your lapel (I used to go to French class in my 20's with a white carnation in mine.) Be glad you don't know everything about your love. Appreciate his or her uniqueness. Pratique: Live better. Clean up the clutter and dirt in your home. Serve good food. Have good books and music available.

Lesson Eleven: Flirt with Your Husband. Develop Rituals. Walk in Wonder. Make Your Home a Theater. Don't Monetize Your Love. Keep the mystery (that word again) in your love. Pratique: You won't find the love of your life at a McDonald's drive through. Make your meals a ritual of pleasure. Make time to be together.

Lesson Twelve: How to Survive a Broken Heart. Travel. If you can't put up a picture of your magical place so you can be reminded of your joy there. Pratique: Your heart needs an emergency kit: perfume, flowers, travel, friends, things that bring you solace and having an open heart.

[Bookworm · Rating 1 out of 5]

Meh. I've read Callan's other books and I'm not sure if there's anything here that one hasn't read from one her books before or any other similar books that romanticize French women. Arguably this book doesn't specify women in the title like her previous titles but it's clear it's geared towards heterosexual women.

Anyway, the book talks about things like flirting, finding a signature color, why it's a good idea to read books, throwing dinner parties, adding flowers. Again, if you've read books by her and/or others in the genre, then a lot of this really isn't new. I'm not really sure if there's any useful advice.

It's a light and pleasant read, but there isn't much that's new. I suppose if you're a Francophile or have never read a book like this you might like it but I wouldn't rush out to read nor would I take her advice totally seriously (dinner parties sound like too much work if it's not your thing!).

Borrowed from the library and that was definitely the best for me.

[Hope Decker · Rating 3 out of 5]

J'aime beaucoup tous les chose francaise. This book was no different. Each chapter addresses a lifestyle topic such as personal style, or nurturing one's intellect, or flirting, introduces a French compatriot who walks the walk and talks the talk, and gives a little homework activity to the reader. I enjoyed the anecdotes from Callan's friends, and found it interesting to hear how some of them thought about American culture. Who knew that a BLT on wonder bread was something a French woman might covet?!

[Aurelia · Rating 2 out of 5]

I struggle with writing an honest review because I like this lady. She has a high spirit and I don't want to be a meh and pop that, but...it was her weakest book. I have read them all and always took away something from them. It's as if they were my secrets to feeling especially feminine. Nothing new was learned here. I was introduced to a range of strangers that I would never meet, and it was more about their personal back stories than guidance to charm.

[Heather · Rating 2 out of 5]

I know it's supposed to be a light read, but this book felt a little out of step. Light to the point of inane. Kind of a waste of time.

[Tsvetina Paralesova · Rating 3 out of 5]

Признавам, че това не е книга, към която обичайно бих посегнала, но ми беше подарък и беше крайно време да я прочета. В началото смятах, че това ще е някакъв вид наръчник със съвети, но се оказа, че са по-скоро разкази/спомени на авторката за пътуванията й в Париж и срещите й с различни французойки. Все пак в края на всяка глава има по един съвет изваден като заключение след разказа на авторката. Трябва да призная, че в началото първите 100 страници ми се сториха скучни. След това полека-лека, може би защото започнах и да свиквам със стила на авторката, а също и вече знаех какво да очаквам, книгата ми стана по-интересна. До последно се чудех дали да сложа три или четири звезди, и ще сложа три, не защото беше толкова лошо четиво, а просто не е съвсем моят тип и не успя да ме увлече особено. Все пак ще кажа, че има някои интересни факти и се споменават любопитни личности, за които например на знаех и ми беше приятно да науча. За хора, които обичат леките истории и не ги дразнят милите клишета, защото ги има, тази книга би била добър вариант.

[Harsha · Rating 1 out of 5]

Giving it a one star is being generous.

Despite saying ‘Parisian charm school’, this book is very American and very shallow at that. The author grazes at superficial things and makes quick inferences without telling the reader, in depth, the cultural evolution, and significance of ‘French’ style.

A good example is how in the second chapter a friend of hers transformed a sixty year old woman into a fifty year old by getting the right sized clothes. Any one reading the book, I assume, are not unaware of these things. I honestly wanted to pull my hair out when she starts about how having ‘your’ colour will make a man always associate you with that color.

T^T

Instead of a lifestyle book, or a book about the French values on beauty, life and aging, love, joy or something similar, this book does a shoddy job at barely being a book.

Other than a good cover picture, honestly this has nothing of substance to offer any assistance. I guess this goes to show that when you want to take advise from someone, you have to first look at who that person is.

[Nichole Parks · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not what I expected. It felt much more like a selective memoir than a self-help book as I originally thought. Callan rescued the read by lending a Parisian perspective and challenging my outlook. The tone of the book is quite eloquent and knowledgeable, delivering the lesson of each chapter in a rather charming way.

[Celine · Rating 4 out of 5]

If I weren’t French I‘m pretty sure I would only have given it 3 stars. For me it was less about the Charm lessons and more about being brought back to when I lived in Paris and through the authors stories being reminded of French women I grew up around. It transported me back to my childhood. My moms friends and how particular French woman can be. That essence is definitely captured very well.

[Nattatida · Rating 2 out of 5]

Charm of parisian woman can’t be googled it must be cultivated. Reading a book, ware sunglasses, dance, speak a little less, cooking are woman charm. if you single try play tinder with the man who are good writer.

[Naomi · Rating 1 out of 5]

This read more like journal entries.

[Linda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you to Penguin for the free copy through a Goodreads Giveaway.

Although Parisian Charm School isn't exclusively for single women, it is definitely aimed at them, with a few nods toward readers who have already found a loving partner. Yes, there's a chapter on "How to Charm Your Husband," but nearly every other chapter includes comments like, "And this is a great way to meet men!" The final chapter is a collection of how women met their significant others.

The advice can apply to anyone, and it mostly comes down to finding ways to make yourself a more interesting person by engaging in a little imagination. The specifics are fanciful: choose a signature color and wear it every day, learn to cook a dish well enough to call it your specialty, and so on. Like most other books in the "The French are better than Americans at everything" category, the book is mostly personal anecdotes about the author meeting with fascinating French people (and American ex-pats) who divulge their "secrets." It's a decent addition to the genre, but it offers little to distinguish it from its sisters.

[Mrs.Bee.17 · Rating 1 out of 5]

I checked the publication date just to be sure this was a recent publication. It came out in 2018, so quite recent. However, it reads like an outdated feminine tome on “how to be a lady and keep your man interested.”

While I don’t think the writing style is necessarily bad, I was surprised that the author teaches writing classes as some of her topics seemed ill-grouped by subject. In the “romance your husband” chapter, she talks about how French furniture has tassels and that is romantic(?) Decor choices aside, the metaphor that furniture can be sexy (including her hot pink arm chairs) seems like a bit of a stretch. She purchased a hot pink tasseled keychain in France and hung it on a an antique key in their farmhouse to remind her husband of her, and (presumably) to put a spark in his loins. Sure, Jan.

It’s not so much that this is a bad book, as it is that I personally disagree with the author in many areas. For instance, she maintains an “air of mystery” in her marriage by referring to her husband as “Doctor” as he has earned a PhD. While I would view this as sweet and flirty, and demonstrating closeness as a sort of “pet name,” she asserts that “maintaining a certain formality... is a cornerstone of marriage.” So this title is formal, and meant to invoke... formality and mystery? And thus sex appeal? Right... I’m not buying it. But again, personal opinion. All marriages are different and if that works for her, then great. But it’s not how my husband and I interact, and (I assume) not how many other happy couples interact. I think the issue with this lies in the author’s assertion that this is the ONLY way to have a good marriage, and that Americans are too informal and that it has a negative effect on marriages. Stereotyping, generalizing, or presenting “black and white” scenarios doesn’t allow for a broad range of human experiences, and is thus a foolish way of thinking, which is the very thing this author was probably trying to avoid. (Being foolish is not very “French de jour.” I wonder what French women make of these books where American women stereotype French behavior? I bet they don’t love it.)

Just before the bit about her husband and his “doctoriness,” she describes in several boring paragraphs the long flight journey she just experienced. “How dull and wearisome going through customs is!” she laments. “Woe is me, sitting in this first class seat next to a businessman for SIX WHOLE HOURS.” She sounds entitled and spoiled, regardless of whether she is or not. There are hardworking people who can’t afford to travel the world and would love the opportunity to go through long airport lines and small airplane seats to have an opportunity to explore beautiful foreign cities.

The entitlement and utter foolishness of some of these notions made this a 1 star rating for me. However, on its surface, this is not a poorly written book, the author just takes a bizarre stance on many of her chosen topics, and I don’t know how well her style of living translates to the everyday person. I suppose you can pick and choose the bits that work for you, but most of it was a wash for me. I did appreciate the gateau yogurt cake recipe, but that same recipe appears in every French culture book.


P.S. Bonus bit: She advises readers to keep romance alive by flirting with other men at dinner parties, in front of their husbands. And never go to a drive thru. (Tbh, I’m not sure if she’s joking or serious with that line.)

P.P.S. While this text fits in with Jennifer Scott and the “Madame Chic” genre of French culture writing by American women, I can’t help but wonder if this is a genre that has run its course.

[Cynthia Egbert · Rating 2 out of 5]

I guess this one is actually a 2.5 star rating. I debated about giving it two or three stars. There were moments that I really loved, but I am just rather fed up with books that seem to be all about catching (and keeping) a man. I wanted more of just what it means to be the best woman you can be. I wanted more depth and less outward, worldly, fluffy stuff. That being said, there were a few quotes that I want to remember.

"Real romance requires patience, attention, and knowledge of who you are in this lifetime. And even if we find love online, it's important to note that CHARM CAN'T BE GOOGLED. IT MUST BE CULTIVATED."

"The only real elegance is in the mind; if you've got that, the rest really comes from it." -Diana Vreeland

"Know, first, who you are, and then adorn yourself accordingly." -Epictetus

"Find YOUR color. An appreciation and understanding of color is handed down from mother to daughter. You might not quite understand why that particular shad of soft coral or even that vivid stroke of magenta makes you suddenly release a deep sigh, but I suggest you trust your instincts. Trust your body and emotions when it comes to color, because this is how your ancestors, your grandmother and great-grandmother and great-great grandmother, are talking to you, through time and space, and history.

[Amymercovich · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very sweet, fun book

[Kathy B · Rating 2 out of 5]

Fun, flirty - quick read....

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have read a thousand "French infallibility" books and most go with great relish to the garbage bin of unmerited book contact self- help reading. So, I expected none of the actually lovely inspiration that is evocative of, but not reliant on Parisian models. It was similar to finding a well- written and insightful blog or particularly cohesive Pinterest entry. An old- fashioned sort of influencer who credits her friends and acquaintances, celebrating their charms, then congealing their stories into themes that become chapters. Simple, well-conceived and yes, charming!

[Bekah Page Turner · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a fun, romantic, engaging book! This is the first book I have consumed by this author and now I want to read more. Perfect for the traveler at heart or anyone who wants to visit France but for whatever reason cannot physically go at the moment. I enjoyed every minute of it and even looked up things online mentioned in the book like the Air France safety video for example. It was just as cute as the author described. If you want to spend a few days in Paris but can't just read this book and it will likely soothe that desire, at least for a little while.

[Kathleen Holmes · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a delightful read which anyone interested in certain facets of the French culture will find treasures within these pages. I have read all of Ms. Callan’s books hope she has many more forthcoming.

[Mimi Bishop · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this little gem.

[Udine · Rating 1 out of 5]

A whole lot of name dropping. Did not like the book.

[Priya · Rating 1 out of 5]

Shallow and insubstantial.

[Jana · Rating 1 out of 5]

Poorly written anecdotes from a life of an old rich American lady who likes to travel to France.

[Shawn L’s Book Notes & Quotes · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall a fun read, with a few parts that were a bit ridiculous and contrived.
I liked the many references to things I didn’t know about. I enjoyed having to stop and Google who a person was that the author was referring to, or a place that she visited, or books by other authors whom she met with. Any book that helps to add to my tbr list is ok with me!
I think it would’ve been more charming if Callan had dropped the self help angle she was working, (this reads more like a memoir/travel diary) and renamed the book.

“The truth is, you have your own personal terroir, as well. It’s the place where you were born and includes your deepest memories and a million little things that you can’t quite fathom, such as how the clouds looked on your fifth birthday or the aroma of your mother’s tomato sauce on the stove. It’s that feeling of running across the green grass on your way to go to school. It’s the time you tried on your first pair of high heels. It’s the night you won first place in the science fair.”

“...you are in a new place and you know what you are experiencing is important, but oftentimes, it’s not only months but even years later that you realize the encounter, the experience, the little thing someone says to you is actually life-changing and will live within your heart forever...”

“I do know that some of this passion comes from the fact that Valerie is French and English is her second language, and so her struggle to find the right words adds to this sense of urgency, a desire to be understood. (I just wanted to point that out to those of you who struggle with your French language skills—what you perhaps don’t realize is that your very struggle reveals a kind of passion and energy—so try to speak French! You must!)”

[Marina · Rating 2 out of 5]

I hope, from the bottom of my heart, that my Serbian translation is working against the author and her work.
This book made me wonder how in the universe is this woman a writting professor. Her work is so simple and lacks everything an art piece should have - and that is soul.
I enjoyed hearing these womens love stories but they seemed unreal and shortened. I wish this lady well in her life, and i dont regret giving her and the publishing 3 dollars. I believe she is a lovely lady and means well.
This book was light and unpromptedly simple. Yes I will find a signature color, a perfume and throw a dinner party, make my boyfriend a romantic meal, travel and live love laugh.. but where are the true Parisienne. Where are real women? What is it that made them actually fullfilled with their partner? Does he understand her? Does he provide, protect? What does he do? He cant just be pretty and talk French in your ear. Anyways, no new idea was presented to me. Best of luck to the author and us readers. And your families.