Wait For Me: Rediscovering the Joy of Purity in Romance

by Rebecca St. James, Dale Reeves

Using Scripture, pop culture, and her own experience as a point of reference, the Grammy Award-winning recording artist calls young people to remain sexually pure until marriage, painting a relevant and appealing picture of the value of waiting.

Genres: Christian, Nonfiction, Christian Living, Religion, Christianity, Marriage, Self Help

152 pages, Hardcover

First published July 2, 2002

About the author

Rebecca St. James, an Australian-born Christian recording artist, is both a Grammy Award winner and a multiple Dove Award recipient. She is also the bestselling author of Wait for Me, SHE Teen, and What is He Thinking. In addition, St. James has appeared in the film Sarah's Choice and lent her voice to VeggieTales' An Easter Story. www.rsjames.com

Reviews

[Alyssa · Rating 5 out of 5]

i loved this book! i had my closest moments with God while reading it. it puts the innocence back in to perspective were the world says other wise about sex and love. here is something to think about, girls use sex to get love and guys use love to get sex. thats really how it works when your heart is not guarded, when the standards aren't set, it all turns in to a mess. this book will help you to recover and to forgive from past mistakes and if you haven't gone that far yet, to help you learn from the mistakes of others
(thats a bible virse, "tho it is wise to lean from yourown mistakes,it is wiser to learn from others"

wether you are dating or not you should raed this book!

[Shaina Herrmann · Rating 1 out of 5]

I read this book before I met my husband. I was about 19 and hadn't yet had a boyfriend (my husband was my first boyfriend). This book was a HUGE encouragement for me. I recommend this book to any woman who is not yet married. It is a wonderful book!

*Update in 2022* I may not recommend this book anymore. It was helpful for me at the time, but there are far more helpful ways to be encouraged as a single young woman. My biggest tips would be to find a solid Christian community, find older godly women in your life to learn from, and read the Word daily. totheword.com

[Shantelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rebecca St. James delivers a beautiful message of learning to dream again... only learning to dream GOD'S dream. Because God's plan for romance is so much more amazing than we could ever imagine!! :)
The pictures with each chapter were sweet and touching, and the parts of her song, "Wait for Me" also nice.

I gleaned some really good things too work on from this book! And I'm hoping to watch the music video for "Wait for Me" soon. Lovely song... lovely book.

[Mallory · Rating 3 out of 5]

Okay. First off, I was a huge fan of RSJ as a teen. Loved both her music and her message to young women. Her brothers, incidentally, are also amazing and continue that message in their own way. I breezed through this book simply because it was not meant for me; it's geared to a much younger audience. I was the right age when it was published, but too much time has passed and I need a different kind of sustenance for my walk. I'll give her credit - she does touch on singleness and how that may be a possibility for some as a lifelong thing, rather than just a season. However, that's not most of the book and a lot of the examples given were not really relatable (especially ones like the friend who got married at 18) for someone in my stage of life. I would definitely recommend it to younger Christian women as a good resource and encouragement.

[Dawn Airhart · Rating 3 out of 5]

I will never recommend a book before reading it, and I was really intrigued by the message that this book carried for the younger generation.... After reading it I must admit it really does carry a great message! I would recommend all young adults should read it before they start dating. It encourages good choices and being intentional. It also helps you to understand how easy going with your feelings can be, but what kind of outcomes may result from that.

[Bryan Gill · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a good book for everyone who is single. St. James does a good job of showing what singles can do while they are not in a relationship. She gives practical ways for you to prepare yourself for being a husband or wife. Although I am not a big fan of her rules for physical contact, I think it is good to have rules and boundaries.

[Godsprincess · Rating 4 out of 5]

this book is really encouraging shows you that its possible to make a stand for something thats different and practical ways to apply it to your own life in the area of friendship, dating and marriage..i would definitely recommend it to all young teens that are searching for a different way to approach them

[Amber Beasley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is amazing. it helped me so much when I was a teenager and was waiting on God to bring me the right person. It introduced to me the idea of writing letters to my future husband, which I did, and once I was married he read them and loved them. this book if very encouraging and gives great reasons why we should wait on our future spouse instead of just dating for "fun".

[Melanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely love this author/ song artist. This is a grea book to give to your teens and maybe even pre teensto reread in their older years. If only so many women would have waited to find. God's match for them a lot of lives would be very different. She explains everything perfectly and its an exciting read. Finished it quickly.

[Kaitlyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great book; from now on, I'm going to put God in the center of my life, and I'm going to wait for my knight in shining armor. No matter what happens, I'm going to keep reliving that dream, which I had lost in the past! :D

[Jerry (Rebel With a Massive Media Library) · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good read that encourages abstinence until marriage. However, it's hard to know exactly who the book is targeted towards. While some parts address people of either gender, others seem to be only for young women. Despite that flaw, it's still worth reading for Christian singles.

[Mallory]

very good. Rebecca is a very talented singer, and writer!

[Hannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This Book really hits the spot, it explains courtship, in way that you can really understand it. If you are are planning on Courting, I would strongly recommend that you read this book.

[Argnese Julmist · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a really good book for teens,young adults, and perhaps some adults that may need a bit of inspiration to practice abstinence until marriage.

[Faith]

I love this book its about a girl who waited till god found her the right guy and they had a srtong marrige for years...
Read its an awesome book!!!

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have read this book three times already and I love it.

[Heather]

This was better than I thought it would be. Young men and women could read it and get stuff from it.

[Leah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was amazing! I learned so much from it and I'm stronger in my faith now knowing that other people have the same views as me in purity.

[Melanie M. D. · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I could give this book more stars - truly amazing! If you haven't already read it, please do! I'm already planning to buy a few copies for my children way on down the road!

[Davy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a good book to enocorage waiting for the mate god has for you. It has some very helpful hints and a lot of encouragment.

[Sharon · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

[Audrey Anderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Makes you think of the future in a completely different perspective. Very intimate and heart-warming, and unveils the truth behind what God desires for marriage and the relationship before.

[Jen Smith · Rating 2 out of 5]

Read in spite of being given the book as a joke.

[Teddi · Rating 1 out of 5]

I read this book for the first time as a teenager growing up in a Pentecostal church very much consumed by the 'purity model' St. James is proposing here. I have returned to the text now, in my 30s, in preparation for a podcast episode I am recording this week. (Shameless plug: yes, I am part of a podcast that examines early 2000s Christian culture; it's called "Oh God, I Forgot About That." Look us up on social media; episodes coming soon!).

I was hesitant to write this review because I know that this text is not marketed for 'everyone' and I am most certainly no longer the intended audience for it. However, I very much USED to be-- in fact, I 'bought in' to the True Love Waits Movement firmly and passionately for many years--and I think my experience within purity culture (as well as my painful transition out of it) justifies my critique.

I'll start by saying if you're interested in gaining a glimpse into Christian discourse surrounding sex during 1990s/early 2000s, this is a usual artifact.

If you're led to the book because of genuine interest in or conviction of abstinence, I would say go elsewhere. A considerable number of Christians today have turned away from some of these classic purity texts-- and with good reason. "Wait For Me," as well as many books like it, wildly overstate the 'dangers' of sex before marriage. She talks about pregnancy and STDS-- real issues, of course-- but inflates statistics and then proceeds to link premarital sex to essentially anything bad you can imagine. She notes the "many" people she has talked to at her concerts who have horrible sex lives with their spouse, experience ongoing estrangement from family, and even suffer with mental illness and attempted suicides--- all because they had premarital sex (I am not suggesting she hasn't talked to actual people with this story, but what's lost in her commentary-- as well as in the Church as a whole-- is how the Church might actually be responsible for the deep shame and pain these people felt.) Lastly, and perhaps most upsetting: sexual purity in this book is represented as a burden that is disproportionally shouldered by women. The book is littered with comments urging women not to walk alone at night, to wear certain kinds of clothes to protect themselves, to 'behave' in such a way that will not tempt their brothers in Christ, and remains utterly silent about the real problem of sexual violence and predation. While perhaps not James' intention, her writing advances a kind of 'victim blaming' mentality that can have pretty dangerous lasting consequences for girls and women. (Indeed, *lasting.* Many women I grew up with in the Church are STILL trying to release many of these messages-- even decades later.)

Ultimately, the book embodies the same sexist tone of many discussions about sex (happening in the Church, but also the culture at large) in the late '90s-early 2000s. If this book has any useful purpose now, it would simply be to remind us of what we did wrong.

[Jessica Dudok · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book about waiting and relationship advice. It was a simple and easy read; very short chapters and many places to stop if you get interrupted. This sums up everything you need to know about waiting and also brings in statistics and scripture to back it up. She discusses practical things to do while waiting- develop a relationship with Jesus, focus on family and friends, read about marriage, and figure out who you are as a person and allow God to develop your heart. My favorite advice given in this book was the advice given from her mother in chapter 5 about marriage and how to know when the person is God’s will for your life. The prayer at the end of chapter 5 is a prayer I have been praying recently.
I loved hearing “Rob’s” view on sex and marriage- how sex is too glorified in marriage. Yes it is a blessing, but it’s not the most important part of intimacy in marriage. The book is very encouraging and the scripture provided is enlightening (there’s a lot of it). There were a lot of reminders in this book that I needed to hear.

[Mindy G. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pure romance is not bound by sexual addiction or selfish motives and desires.
p. 10

Poem
p. 12-13

Song
p. 91

Mother Theresa:
“Each time anyone comes into contact with us, they must become different and better people because of having met us. We must radiate God’s love. . . Intense love does not measure. . . It just gives.”
p. 94

One of the principles they adopted, to attempt to keep alive their “in loveness” was sharing everything.
p. 100

“The courageous do not live forever, but the timid never lives at all.”
p. 121

You can’t change the past, so perfect the future.
p. 126

[Efrain Hernandez · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am calling Rebecca out. She is full of it. First she said she wanted to be single. Then, she said she would never marry a rock star. Obviously, she changed her mind on both. She married a worldly man. He was the bassist for Foster the people. SMH!

[Rachel Phelps Shearer · Rating 1 out of 5]

Would give this zero stars if I could tbh. Purity culture is one helluva drug.

[Hannah]

RSJ is an amazing writer.

[Dana]

it was good to keep yourself purity..