What do you think?
Rate this book
The Cry of the Soul: How Our Emotions Reveal Our Deepest Questions about God
An excerpt from the foreword by Joni Eareckson Tada: “With the book you are holding, you have stumbled upon the best of guides. I should know. I first read The Cry of the Soul decades ago when I was still sorting through a lot of hurt and frustration connected with my quadriplegia (yes, I read it on that music stand holding a mouth stick). The Cry of the Soul showed me what to do with my anger and hurt―not stuff it under the carpet of my conscience, or minimize it, but actually do something good with it.”
All emotion―whether positive or negative―can give us a glimpse of the true nature of God. We want to control our negative emotions and dark desires. God wants us to recognize them as the cry of our soul to be made right with Him. Beginning with the Psalms, Cry of the Soul explores what Scripture says about our darker emotions and points us to ways of honoring God as we faithfully embrace the full range of our emotional life.
All emotion―whether positive or negative―can give us a glimpse of the true nature of God. We want to control our negative emotions and dark desires. God wants us to recognize them as the cry of our soul to be made right with Him. Beginning with the Psalms, Cry of the Soul explores what Scripture says about our darker emotions and points us to ways of honoring God as we faithfully embrace the full range of our emotional life.
272 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1994
411 people are currently reading
3082 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 163 reviews
November 4, 2013
Avoid the pain!
Anger, fear, jealousy, despair. These are bad emotions, right? These are emotions to be avoided at all costs, right?
I discovered a few years ago that I was a really angry person and that I hurt people when I was angry. Solution? Avoid anger no matter what.
Not so fast! Allender and Longman point out that emotions are God-given, a gift from our Creator. And while it is true that our emotions have been corrupted by our sinful nature, they actually have a divine purpose. Cutting ourselves off completely from our emotions will hinder our spiritual growth and short-circuit our relationship to God.
Well that wasn't exactly news I was overjoyed to hear. I have spent considerable time and effort teaching myself to be unemotional. Now I learn that, not only have I been wasting my time, I have been at cross-purposes with God. At least Allender and Longman have provided me with some tools to get myself straightened-out. (I really didn't think I was doing all that great anyway.)
But now I can do better, and so can you. I can let these emotions draw me closer to the Lord and my fellow humans. We have the technology and it's in this book!
Anger, fear, jealousy, despair. These are bad emotions, right? These are emotions to be avoided at all costs, right?
I discovered a few years ago that I was a really angry person and that I hurt people when I was angry. Solution? Avoid anger no matter what.
Not so fast! Allender and Longman point out that emotions are God-given, a gift from our Creator. And while it is true that our emotions have been corrupted by our sinful nature, they actually have a divine purpose. Cutting ourselves off completely from our emotions will hinder our spiritual growth and short-circuit our relationship to God.
Well that wasn't exactly news I was overjoyed to hear. I have spent considerable time and effort teaching myself to be unemotional. Now I learn that, not only have I been wasting my time, I have been at cross-purposes with God. At least Allender and Longman have provided me with some tools to get myself straightened-out. (I really didn't think I was doing all that great anyway.)
But now I can do better, and so can you. I can let these emotions draw me closer to the Lord and my fellow humans. We have the technology and it's in this book!
April 26, 2020
I can't say this was fun to read. It really wasn't. It was very hard, like an emotional workout for my soul.
I read this book because I tend to run away from negative emotions. I wrestle with the why and the how, and I thought this book would help answer some of my questions and point out what hope there is in situations that seem hopeless to me. It did and it didn't in a way. There are no clear cut answers. Basically, the book can be summarized by saying that
A. Pain (and negative emotions) aren't avoidable
B. You can either let your pain drive you away from or towards God
I read this book because I tend to run away from negative emotions. I wrestle with the why and the how, and I thought this book would help answer some of my questions and point out what hope there is in situations that seem hopeless to me. It did and it didn't in a way. There are no clear cut answers. Basically, the book can be summarized by saying that
A. Pain (and negative emotions) aren't avoidable
B. You can either let your pain drive you away from or towards God
December 17, 2024
A look into our heavy emotions compared with a look into Psalms and the emotions that God experiences.
I listened to the audiobook, and I might not recommend that. It's deep enough that it deserves to be read. I will probably read it later for more in-depth comprehension.
I listened to the audiobook, and I might not recommend that. It's deep enough that it deserves to be read. I will probably read it later for more in-depth comprehension.
February 3, 2017
An intense and thoughtful look into the dark emotions that reveal the true direction of our hearts, examined with a perfect marriage of the fields of clinical psychology & theology. Anger, fear, jealousy, despair, contempt, and shame--six emotions that, through this book, we are asked to view openly and honestly in order to usher our souls into reality, to find out who we really are. A soul-crushing read in all the right ways.
April 8, 2023
Goes through most of the emotions we feel and how each of them points to God. Really emphasizes that it’s not bad to feel emotion and sometimes we have to sit in them- even the unpleasant ones. Occasionally it left me feeling a tad stuck like we shouldn’t ask God for freedom from our struggles and anxieties. I don’t think the authors meant that at all and I think that’s just my personal proclivity but overall, it’s very honest and grapples with the depth of emotion expressed in the psalms towards God.
October 24, 2022
I expected to love this book. Both authors have a good record in my experience.
I didn't.
The trouble started in the introduction with this statement: "It is our conviction that emotions are not amoral." This fundamental presupposition is based, by the authors, on the doctrine of total depravity. Problem is, that's not an implication of total depravity. Total depravity doesn't mean that everything is moral vs. amoral. Rather, it means that all that is moral is tainted by sin. This fundamental—and I must say elementary—error spoils the whole handling of emotions.
I would contend that emotions are not the settled moral conclusions of a process, but are the process itself. We feel as we experience. Of course our feelings are not logical thought processes. Nor are they moral choices. They are, rather, just what they are... feelings... The moral issue is what we do with our feelings.
The authors go on to build an entire theology of emotions as inherently moral. Unfortunately, in reality, this seems to mean our emotions are all bad and God's emotions are all good. At one point I frustratedly summed up the book in this note:
Honestly, I respect both authors and understand what they were trying to do with their handling of emotion: To affirm the legitimate place of emotion without giving the impression that anything goes. But this noble attempt is handled with all the finesse of a truck. It was like doing brain surgery with a hacksaw. It simply doesn't belong in our current culture where this sort of clumsiness isn't given much leeway. Nor should it be. People get hurt—sometimes they die—when this topic is handled poorly. Christians ought to be much better at discussing emotion than this book lets on.
One very practical flaw accounts for much of the weakness of this book: Emotions are consistently personified. "Anger does this. Fear does that. Jealousy doesn't do this." The device has a place. But as it is used here, it is profoundly damaging to clarity and precision. For instance, by saying "Unrighteous anger refuses to turn to God with our deepest questions" (p. 47), the book avoids having to say whether it is ok to feel anger when you see a seeming contradiction in God. It avoids anger as a real experience in real time and finds a way to call it sinful or righteous based on the final outcome. This allows the authors to hedge their bets. It acts as if the process and the outcome are one. And the conclusion is foregone. Which they aren't. And it isn't. This allows the book to condemn emotions often and easily while failing to even address the key issues. It's a lazy approach and one that makes the view of the authors hard to even understand.
I think if you've just come out of a corner of Christianity that is extreme, you might find this book a helpful step toward—not to—a biblical view of emotion. Unfortunately, for most Christians, I think this book will be harmful.
I didn't.
The trouble started in the introduction with this statement: "It is our conviction that emotions are not amoral." This fundamental presupposition is based, by the authors, on the doctrine of total depravity. Problem is, that's not an implication of total depravity. Total depravity doesn't mean that everything is moral vs. amoral. Rather, it means that all that is moral is tainted by sin. This fundamental—and I must say elementary—error spoils the whole handling of emotions.
I would contend that emotions are not the settled moral conclusions of a process, but are the process itself. We feel as we experience. Of course our feelings are not logical thought processes. Nor are they moral choices. They are, rather, just what they are... feelings... The moral issue is what we do with our feelings.
The authors go on to build an entire theology of emotions as inherently moral. Unfortunately, in reality, this seems to mean our emotions are all bad and God's emotions are all good. At one point I frustratedly summed up the book in this note:
The message of the book is plain: Relax. It's ok to feel what you feel. But everything you feel shows you're scum.And I say this as a five point Calvinist. It's just very skewed against emotions. And I get that the context in which it was originally written was simply not good with handling emotions. I understand. But my copy was re-released in 2015. So there's no excuse for how emotion is handled.
Honestly, I respect both authors and understand what they were trying to do with their handling of emotion: To affirm the legitimate place of emotion without giving the impression that anything goes. But this noble attempt is handled with all the finesse of a truck. It was like doing brain surgery with a hacksaw. It simply doesn't belong in our current culture where this sort of clumsiness isn't given much leeway. Nor should it be. People get hurt—sometimes they die—when this topic is handled poorly. Christians ought to be much better at discussing emotion than this book lets on.
One very practical flaw accounts for much of the weakness of this book: Emotions are consistently personified. "Anger does this. Fear does that. Jealousy doesn't do this." The device has a place. But as it is used here, it is profoundly damaging to clarity and precision. For instance, by saying "Unrighteous anger refuses to turn to God with our deepest questions" (p. 47), the book avoids having to say whether it is ok to feel anger when you see a seeming contradiction in God. It avoids anger as a real experience in real time and finds a way to call it sinful or righteous based on the final outcome. This allows the authors to hedge their bets. It acts as if the process and the outcome are one. And the conclusion is foregone. Which they aren't. And it isn't. This allows the book to condemn emotions often and easily while failing to even address the key issues. It's a lazy approach and one that makes the view of the authors hard to even understand.
I think if you've just come out of a corner of Christianity that is extreme, you might find this book a helpful step toward—not to—a biblical view of emotion. Unfortunately, for most Christians, I think this book will be harmful.
July 2, 2025
As part of a class I'm taking on Human Personality, I had to read a Christian counseling book. I, somewhat randomly, chose this one and I'm so glad I did. The book is rich with scripture and theology. Using scripture, the authors show how our emotions were created by God, are a reflection of his image in us, and ultimately teach us about his character. They walk through both wrong and right versions of anger, fear, jealousy, desire, despair, contempt, and shame. They show how emotions are never wrong, but they can so often be aimed in the wrong place as we use them to distance ourselves from God and/or each other rather than to pursue him.
An overarching theme is how many of our emotions are simply avoidances of true sorrow. We will choose pretty much any feeling over sorrow because sorrow is our last choice. It's what we feel when we have accepted our limits, our finiteness, our inability to be in control and make life be what we want it to be. It forces us to wrestle with God and decide whether we will place our hope in him or not. Using Psalms as a template they show us how we need to feel our emotions, not suppress or deny them - we need to take them to God, like the psalmists do. In our raw, unfiltered state, God moves in our hearts and shows himself to us and uses the struggle to bring redemption.
An overarching theme is how many of our emotions are simply avoidances of true sorrow. We will choose pretty much any feeling over sorrow because sorrow is our last choice. It's what we feel when we have accepted our limits, our finiteness, our inability to be in control and make life be what we want it to be. It forces us to wrestle with God and decide whether we will place our hope in him or not. Using Psalms as a template they show us how we need to feel our emotions, not suppress or deny them - we need to take them to God, like the psalmists do. In our raw, unfiltered state, God moves in our hearts and shows himself to us and uses the struggle to bring redemption.
June 22, 2025
This is an exquisite and poignant work walking through how all of our most difficult emotions are designed to draw our wounded selves nearer to God. This is a book I had no idea I needed, and I truly felt like the Lord provided this reading experience and the ponderings it provoked at just the right time. In a season of change and processing deep emotional pain, I feel that God met me within these pages in a way I've been longing for. There is not a single word without purpose, and every encouragement, conviction, anecdote, and Scripture is steeped with intention and meaning.
I'm so grateful to Allender and Longman for opening the eyes of my heart to the ways in which anger, fear, jealousy, despair, contempt, and shame can be redemptive for me and glorifying to God. With an introduction providing necessary context and a conclusion drawing on all that the teachings prior reveal of God's character, this piece enmeshed in the Psalms is one whose cry certainly resonated in *my* soul. If you haven't read this, you need to; it will change your relationship with self and with God, in the best way.
I'm so grateful to Allender and Longman for opening the eyes of my heart to the ways in which anger, fear, jealousy, despair, contempt, and shame can be redemptive for me and glorifying to God. With an introduction providing necessary context and a conclusion drawing on all that the teachings prior reveal of God's character, this piece enmeshed in the Psalms is one whose cry certainly resonated in *my* soul. If you haven't read this, you need to; it will change your relationship with self and with God, in the best way.
June 18, 2017
3.5 stars
A dear friend messaged me one day, "Beth, I'm sending you a copy of one of my favorite books. It really spoke to me, hope it will for you too."
And then I received this title in the mail from said dear friend. It coincided perfectly with another friend and I's plans to read through the book of Psalm together in 90 days.
I'm in a season and it isn't one of laughing and external joy. Timing really is everything and this book - and how I read it at a snail's pace - spoke to some of the same things my counselor and I have been discussing in my sessions. I love a good confirmation from God. I got a lot out of the chapters on anger and contempt. They helped clarify some things for me. I did not dig the chapter on the redemptive power of divine shame - I felt it dismissed and tried to "christianese" the feelings of shame some people have due to their various abuses etc. I'm still thinking through the things said in that chapter but my Spirit isn't jiving with it. We Christians have a guilt problem. We think we are guilty and sinning all.of.the.time. And while we are sinners we aren't doing it all of the time and not every emotion we feel or experience is a result of our sin. Sometimes it's the result of someone else's sin. In fact, it might even be 50/50. Anyway. Overall, the book was very good for me to read in this season I find myself in and dear friend who sent it knows me and my heart well enough to know that it would speak to me as well. This is an older book, I believe out of print even, but if you can locate a copy it's worth the read and consideration.
A dear friend messaged me one day, "Beth, I'm sending you a copy of one of my favorite books. It really spoke to me, hope it will for you too."
And then I received this title in the mail from said dear friend. It coincided perfectly with another friend and I's plans to read through the book of Psalm together in 90 days.
I'm in a season and it isn't one of laughing and external joy. Timing really is everything and this book - and how I read it at a snail's pace - spoke to some of the same things my counselor and I have been discussing in my sessions. I love a good confirmation from God. I got a lot out of the chapters on anger and contempt. They helped clarify some things for me. I did not dig the chapter on the redemptive power of divine shame - I felt it dismissed and tried to "christianese" the feelings of shame some people have due to their various abuses etc. I'm still thinking through the things said in that chapter but my Spirit isn't jiving with it. We Christians have a guilt problem. We think we are guilty and sinning all.of.the.time. And while we are sinners we aren't doing it all of the time and not every emotion we feel or experience is a result of our sin. Sometimes it's the result of someone else's sin. In fact, it might even be 50/50. Anyway. Overall, the book was very good for me to read in this season I find myself in and dear friend who sent it knows me and my heart well enough to know that it would speak to me as well. This is an older book, I believe out of print even, but if you can locate a copy it's worth the read and consideration.
January 14, 2013
The first few chapters were the strongest, in my opinion. Important teaching on what our emotions have to say about God and how God meets us even in the midst of raw emotions.
March 27, 2025
I really liked this book. It gave great insight on healthily understanding emotions and how they help us relate to our good and gracious Savior, who felt them as well. It reminded me to bring all my emotions to the Lord, just as the psalmists do. I highly recommend!
May 8, 2024
As someone who came from a prosperity gospel background where the “gospel” is that God *always* wants you happy, healthy, and prosperous this book was exactly what I needed.
The lack of emotional intelligence within my old circles is staggering. Having difficult emotions is thought of as a sign of a lack of faith in God. And struggles are only acceptable within the framework of being temporary setbacks brought on either by the devil or by your own failures as a Christian. Any explanation outside of this is not entertained.
This book takes a biblical approach to looking at things like anger, grief, shame, jealously, and humiliation and explains that God does redemptive work through the vehicle of these emotions if we allow them to bring us TO God as opposed to drive us from Him. It explains that God desperately desires our passionate engagement with Him so we can come to know Him better and worship Him with awe as opposed to routine, dutiful obedience.
Personally, this book really drove home that avoidance of these emotions causes us to miss out on really important experiences with God that serve to deepen our love and trust in Him. I will definitely be re-reading this book in the future.
The lack of emotional intelligence within my old circles is staggering. Having difficult emotions is thought of as a sign of a lack of faith in God. And struggles are only acceptable within the framework of being temporary setbacks brought on either by the devil or by your own failures as a Christian. Any explanation outside of this is not entertained.
This book takes a biblical approach to looking at things like anger, grief, shame, jealously, and humiliation and explains that God does redemptive work through the vehicle of these emotions if we allow them to bring us TO God as opposed to drive us from Him. It explains that God desperately desires our passionate engagement with Him so we can come to know Him better and worship Him with awe as opposed to routine, dutiful obedience.
Personally, this book really drove home that avoidance of these emotions causes us to miss out on really important experiences with God that serve to deepen our love and trust in Him. I will definitely be re-reading this book in the future.
February 8, 2021
This book was recommended to me, and while it took me a long time to get through, I did value the content. There were particular chapters that spoke to me more than others, but the overall message is important--our emotions reveal something deeper about ourselves and God's relationship with us. I underlined quite a bit and will be referring back to this book in the future.
September 2, 2024
Wow... these authors' view of God is so mind-bogglingly repugnant. I sometimes forget that within the realm of evangelicalism, there are those who gravitate toward the ugliest, most evil, and absurd images of God found in scripture. Rather than wrestling with these verses, they embrace the worst interpretations and present them as if they are good, true, and wholesome. They are truly men right after John Calvin's heart.
The format of this book is to present emotions that often lead humans to behave in horrible ways towards others, such as contempt (the others successfully show the ugliness of contempt in human interactions), but then they always point to places in the Old Testament, where God has these emotions and acts out on them. So God, for example, mocks people, shames, devalues, shows people contempt, laughs people to scorn, and takes great delight in harming others (sadly, there is plenty in the OT that shows this). So in other words, Allender and Longmen seek to call our attention to many of the times that the Old Testament authors observed the worst and most toxic human behavior and projected this to their God. But, tragically, as inerrantists, the Allender and Longmen then must insist that all the horrible evil that is supposedly engaged in by God is thus holy and good. Worst, as believers in the Penal substitutionary view of the atonement, they typically mention how God then directed such contempt, jealous rage, anger, and hatred toward his only son, Jesus (oh, what a glorious gospel!). I kid you not. They show how horrible action X is, then show that the Bible has God regularly engage in X, and then share how the gospel is God unleashing X on his innocent son. The upside to all of this? I guess if you feel contempt and murderous rage for your spouse, this may be some extremely godly emotions--yet the precise distinction isn't made with behavior. Sure they point out that God's jealousy in the OT always leads to rage and lots of blood and slaughter, but they don't seem to think a husband should sexually assault and sadistically kill his wife in a jealous rage, even though the bible presents this as extremely noble behavior for God to partake in.
The authors must contradict themselves, as it is impossible to speak and live consistently with such disgusting, irrational, and harmful ideas. No doubt, they are decent people caught up in horrible theology. The book is thus a mixed bag, but you'll need to seek out the diamonds in this massive dunghill. You'll also need to wash those diamonds well. Honestly, considering the sensitive subject, just look elsewhere!
The way they express some things almost sounds satirical. It is as if they, like me, believed some ideas are really, really bad and then intentionally presented them so crudely that they seem overwhelmingly false, absurd, and morally macabre. Remarkably, though, they really believe it all. I suppose I am thankful that it is so nakedly expressed—but how can other people read it and not cringe?
Often, critiques of the penal substitutionary model of atonement are dismissed as strawman arguments. Critics of the critics claim that no one actually believes or presents the doctrine in such an absurd form. But then there are books like this. it shows some really do present it in a way that reveals how absurd, unjust, unloving, harmful, blasphemous, and frankly evil the doctrine is.
Their understanding of the atonement surfaced, where they talk about the fear of God, not being reverence but more like terror. The way we are to understand the verse stating that "there is no fear in love; for perfect love casts out fear" is that we should live in such an utterly abstract terror of God, as God's "love" is a love that would kill his innocent son—pouring out his fury—beating his son to a pulp. Yes, the crippling fear of this God casts out all other fears! I mean, who would fear being kidnapped, raped, and tortured by a psychopath when you fear the God who has people tortured in hell for all of eternity! Not only that, this God ordained most of humanity to be born for no other purpose than to be eternally tortured in hell simply to tickle his fancy—bringing himself glory. As John Piper claims, this God is the most self-centered being in existence and finds great pleasure in punishing those he determined to be totally depraved.
Yes, you really should be terrified of God. Remember those cursing psalms? Well, they all express righteous and godly anger. What is God's anger like? It is like hating someone so much that you wish evil upon their innocent wife and children. It is brutalizing the innocent for the deeds of the guilty--perfectly depicted in God brutalizing his son in a fit of rage. Yes, a prophet depicts God as a drunk who smites and slays people in a violent and drunken fury. Yes, be scared of this God! Jesus was fearful of this God, and that is why he was so afraid in the garden, he was anticipating the monstrous wrath of God that would find great pleasure in pulverizing him for what he did not do.
All the more reason to be terrified. God's name is Jealous. Whenever he gets jealous, he kills people in his vindictive rage (plenty of examples of this in the Old Testament). The author really get on a roll now; they present Ezekial 16 in all its sexually explicit glory. In this, Ezekial depicts God as an enraged husband, who takes his wife out, strips her naked in front of men, and hands her over to a mob--after they are through with her, his rage is finally appeased. Oh, the beautiful jealousy of God. How righteous and holy are God's ways! This is presented as an example of how it is right for husbands to be jealous of their wives (yet, inconsistently, unlike our godly model, the authors warn us against acting violently... I don't know why, in Hosea and Jeremiah, God is also presented as a husband who brutally murders his wife in a jealous rage). Yes, in light of God's "love" in the Old Testament, the fear of the lord is the only thing that makes sense! In light of the Old Testament narrative, which is such a tragedy, my heart breaks for Israel, I am like, don't do it, don't get in a relationship with YHWH. Please don't do it, run, run, run from this twisted psycho!!!! The poor Israelites would have been so much better off in slavery in Egypt. Instead, they get entangled with a diety that will fly into a rage and kill thousands over the drop of the hat. The book of Numbers presents God as an abusive narcissist with an extremely short fuse and uncontrollable rage. In the wilderness, if the story has them going without water for days, only to complain, YHWH will fly into a furious rage and kill thousands. After they question whether this God intends them good, this God promises to be their enemy and kill every one of them in the wilderness. It is incredible how the author of Numbers could present a God that was so unhinged, unreasonable, impatient, violent, over-the-top, and vindictive. These poor Jews had it so rough throughout their history, and they saw every bad thing that happened to be the direct wrath of God. Honestly, they would have been so much better off believing in several deities, some better and others worse.
No doubt, those who read my little summary of a few points in the book think I exaggerate. As I am listening to the audiobook, I cannot directly quote them. I wish I could, to illustrate how bad it actually is. Of course, I exaggerate a little. It truly is remarkable just how bad parts of this book are.
The format of this book is to present emotions that often lead humans to behave in horrible ways towards others, such as contempt (the others successfully show the ugliness of contempt in human interactions), but then they always point to places in the Old Testament, where God has these emotions and acts out on them. So God, for example, mocks people, shames, devalues, shows people contempt, laughs people to scorn, and takes great delight in harming others (sadly, there is plenty in the OT that shows this). So in other words, Allender and Longmen seek to call our attention to many of the times that the Old Testament authors observed the worst and most toxic human behavior and projected this to their God. But, tragically, as inerrantists, the Allender and Longmen then must insist that all the horrible evil that is supposedly engaged in by God is thus holy and good. Worst, as believers in the Penal substitutionary view of the atonement, they typically mention how God then directed such contempt, jealous rage, anger, and hatred toward his only son, Jesus (oh, what a glorious gospel!). I kid you not. They show how horrible action X is, then show that the Bible has God regularly engage in X, and then share how the gospel is God unleashing X on his innocent son. The upside to all of this? I guess if you feel contempt and murderous rage for your spouse, this may be some extremely godly emotions--yet the precise distinction isn't made with behavior. Sure they point out that God's jealousy in the OT always leads to rage and lots of blood and slaughter, but they don't seem to think a husband should sexually assault and sadistically kill his wife in a jealous rage, even though the bible presents this as extremely noble behavior for God to partake in.
The authors must contradict themselves, as it is impossible to speak and live consistently with such disgusting, irrational, and harmful ideas. No doubt, they are decent people caught up in horrible theology. The book is thus a mixed bag, but you'll need to seek out the diamonds in this massive dunghill. You'll also need to wash those diamonds well. Honestly, considering the sensitive subject, just look elsewhere!
The way they express some things almost sounds satirical. It is as if they, like me, believed some ideas are really, really bad and then intentionally presented them so crudely that they seem overwhelmingly false, absurd, and morally macabre. Remarkably, though, they really believe it all. I suppose I am thankful that it is so nakedly expressed—but how can other people read it and not cringe?
Often, critiques of the penal substitutionary model of atonement are dismissed as strawman arguments. Critics of the critics claim that no one actually believes or presents the doctrine in such an absurd form. But then there are books like this. it shows some really do present it in a way that reveals how absurd, unjust, unloving, harmful, blasphemous, and frankly evil the doctrine is.
Their understanding of the atonement surfaced, where they talk about the fear of God, not being reverence but more like terror. The way we are to understand the verse stating that "there is no fear in love; for perfect love casts out fear" is that we should live in such an utterly abstract terror of God, as God's "love" is a love that would kill his innocent son—pouring out his fury—beating his son to a pulp. Yes, the crippling fear of this God casts out all other fears! I mean, who would fear being kidnapped, raped, and tortured by a psychopath when you fear the God who has people tortured in hell for all of eternity! Not only that, this God ordained most of humanity to be born for no other purpose than to be eternally tortured in hell simply to tickle his fancy—bringing himself glory. As John Piper claims, this God is the most self-centered being in existence and finds great pleasure in punishing those he determined to be totally depraved.
Yes, you really should be terrified of God. Remember those cursing psalms? Well, they all express righteous and godly anger. What is God's anger like? It is like hating someone so much that you wish evil upon their innocent wife and children. It is brutalizing the innocent for the deeds of the guilty--perfectly depicted in God brutalizing his son in a fit of rage. Yes, a prophet depicts God as a drunk who smites and slays people in a violent and drunken fury. Yes, be scared of this God! Jesus was fearful of this God, and that is why he was so afraid in the garden, he was anticipating the monstrous wrath of God that would find great pleasure in pulverizing him for what he did not do.
All the more reason to be terrified. God's name is Jealous. Whenever he gets jealous, he kills people in his vindictive rage (plenty of examples of this in the Old Testament). The author really get on a roll now; they present Ezekial 16 in all its sexually explicit glory. In this, Ezekial depicts God as an enraged husband, who takes his wife out, strips her naked in front of men, and hands her over to a mob--after they are through with her, his rage is finally appeased. Oh, the beautiful jealousy of God. How righteous and holy are God's ways! This is presented as an example of how it is right for husbands to be jealous of their wives (yet, inconsistently, unlike our godly model, the authors warn us against acting violently... I don't know why, in Hosea and Jeremiah, God is also presented as a husband who brutally murders his wife in a jealous rage). Yes, in light of God's "love" in the Old Testament, the fear of the lord is the only thing that makes sense! In light of the Old Testament narrative, which is such a tragedy, my heart breaks for Israel, I am like, don't do it, don't get in a relationship with YHWH. Please don't do it, run, run, run from this twisted psycho!!!! The poor Israelites would have been so much better off in slavery in Egypt. Instead, they get entangled with a diety that will fly into a rage and kill thousands over the drop of the hat. The book of Numbers presents God as an abusive narcissist with an extremely short fuse and uncontrollable rage. In the wilderness, if the story has them going without water for days, only to complain, YHWH will fly into a furious rage and kill thousands. After they question whether this God intends them good, this God promises to be their enemy and kill every one of them in the wilderness. It is incredible how the author of Numbers could present a God that was so unhinged, unreasonable, impatient, violent, over-the-top, and vindictive. These poor Jews had it so rough throughout their history, and they saw every bad thing that happened to be the direct wrath of God. Honestly, they would have been so much better off believing in several deities, some better and others worse.
No doubt, those who read my little summary of a few points in the book think I exaggerate. As I am listening to the audiobook, I cannot directly quote them. I wish I could, to illustrate how bad it actually is. Of course, I exaggerate a little. It truly is remarkable just how bad parts of this book are.
September 26, 2016
I will need to read this again, on paper. I read an electronic edition that wasn’t perfect, and while perfectly intelligible it did add some difficulty and distraction to an already challenging text.
At times I wished the authors could be clearer, but never that they could be deeper — this text indeed goes to the depths of our anguishes as revealed both in the Psalms and in current human experience.
At times I wished the authors could be clearer, but never that they could be deeper — this text indeed goes to the depths of our anguishes as revealed both in the Psalms and in current human experience.
October 31, 2021
This is a solid book that is helpful for seeing the place of emotions. It is not afraid to wrestle with the yucky feelings, just like we do, to give us guidance using the Psalms on why we feel these big feelings and what God intends for us to do with them.
October 3, 2019
The first few chapters were good and then the book trailed off in quality and clarity. I appreciated the overall structure and main points but the execution of the writing left a lot to be desired.
June 7, 2017
pg 127 No one on the face of the earth is called to enter the soul of my wife as I am. No one is privileged to be a companion who knows, shares, and delights in the deepest parts of her soul as I do. And if I fail, then no other can succor the would in comparison to my repentance.
This is not to imply that others, both male and female, are not to play a rich role in nurturing and enjoying my spouse. Frankly, to the degree that I love her well, she will be free to enter into various relationships with depth and passion. But all other connections with others will only invigorate a deeper desire for an exclusivity of physical and personal intimacy that can be touched nowhere else as it can in the marriage relationship.
Jealousy is the energy that drives the protection of that relationship. It is a relationship freely entered into, just as is our relationship with God. The fidelity of our relationship with God protects us from idols that will lure us away from Him and ultimately destroy us. But there is a difference between divine and human jealousy, and we must never lose sight of it. God has the right to possess and protect. We do not possess our spouse, but we do have to privilege of protection.
In certain situations in which loyalty to one another is compromised, jealousy is not an ugly suspicion that shows weakness, but a virtue that has a noble purpose: the preservation of an exclusive relationship. In these situations, to ac on jealous feelings is to demonstrate courage in the face of danger. Indeed, it reflects God's own character as a God who protects His loved ones.
pg 129 We live a great deal of our lives unprotected, misunderstood, and lonely. Even in the best relationships, individuals are still left hungry for someone to comprehend their world and enter their struggle-to embrace them with a passion that seizes them and melts them into a union that will never be broken.
130 We long to be protected and pursued. At its best, jealousy offers both. Human jealousy, though mired in sin, nevertheless reflects something of the jealous heart of God. And it is a glimpse of His jealous heart that allows us to be seized with desire to be loved exclusively without feeling foolish.
pg 131 His jealous love will possess us, protect us, and pursue us for eternity.
The Cry of the Soul
Bumper car ride – Know you are going to get hit; only a matter of when and how hard?
When things are going to collapse or get knocked down again.
In the midst of negative emotions learn to love God.
Enter the pain of our hurt without apology or compromise.
With God: PASSIONATE involvement and utter awe in the mystery of His glorious character.
God who reveals Himself in the midst of our struggle.
CS Lewis – His life depended on his willingness to die.
Traffic – anger toward yourself and others does not take away desire to be on time, it allows you to escape the panic of waiting and the pain of hoping the traffic will clear.
Waiting intensifies pain because it forces us to see we are dependent creatures.
Righteous anger is called for when we see God’s glory violated. (p 77) grieves for both.
Anger – God designed and blessed anger in order to energize our passion to destroy sin.
The person filled with unrighteous anger suppresses the freedom of others, trying to force submission. His anger consumes the other, filling an emptiness that demands satisfaction and refuses to cry out in humble, vulnerable need.
Righteous and redemptive anger.
“I don’t know what it would be like for you to so deeply desire to be like the Lord and also so easily hurt others.”
Righteous anger allows the offense to be seen as an issue between the offender and God.
Move TOWARDS God with our questions. Deeper desire to punish sin in order to destroy the cancer growing in the person who brought pain to your heart.
HATE sin in our own hearts more than we see in theirs. Grow in patient sorrow of the righteous anger.
The irony of questioning God is that it honors Him: it turns our hearts away from ungodly despair toward a passionate desire to comprehend Him.
p. 155 inevitable disappointment
My ultimate HOPE is in God, who will never let me down.
Pg 156 Death is real – severs relationships and dashes hopes.
P 159 Jesus’ cry of despair also transforms all human suffering as a promise. It is a down payment on hope. Jesus suffered, and so will we. But He has been there before us; He waits for us a the end of our sorrow. He has been perfected and resurrected through suffering; so will we. --- he waits for us or is he with us in it?
P160 brought forth streams of both sorrow and laughter.
P 161 In this way, despair catapults us not into the dark abyss, but into the bright presence of God.
Glory’s bright, beautiful reflection of God’s character.
Bear the weight of our offense with sorrow and strength.
P 173 “When faced with contempt, most people flee or defend themselves with intensified anger. In either case, the one who uses contempt feels both safe from desire and free from the call to love and be loved. It is an apparently impenetrable shield that blocks any movement toward the heart.”
P 175 “In His odd mercy, however, He handles our contempt by cursing His own Son. Our contempt will never be shattered until we are unnerved by God’s contempt toward the arrogant and we are drawn to the horror of the Father cursing the Son. Here we will see the divine about-face of contempt: from evil’s mockery to the mockery of evil.”
Pg 177 “Our use of contempt against others and ourselves will be transformed to the degree that we are unnerved by God’s mockery of arrogance and awed by the spectacle of the contempt He unleashes against His own Son.”
Pg 184 “ But no matter how derisively we mock, we will never get what we need, what only humble repentance can gain: grace. Indulging in contempt will never assuage our hunger for forgiveness. Eventually, we will either give ourselves over to an inner hardness or grow exhausted with our own contempt.”
Pg 186 – good friend and mentor: “No man more richly encouraged or delighted in our success. His death was the loss of a father.”
P 187 “ The surprise of God is that His strength shows itself most profoundly not in our proficiency at making life work, but in our weakness.”
192 shame exposes what we worship
p 206 helpless recipients of kindness
Look into the eyes of the One who does not condemn but instead he offers grace, forgivenss, and freedom.
P 208 entrust soul to God, our Advocate.
P 213 FORGIVENESS, Redemption, RECONCILIATION
216 Hope in our advocate opens hearts to confidence
Gratitude softens the self-hatred of shame.
P 235 “God feels the anguish of being misunderstood and ignored. He responds with anger, sarcasm, and longing. …He lays out His desire: “I want your gratitude, your loyalty, and your passion. I want your heart.”
Pg 252 “Where a human parent lacks resources, God gives himself as our resource. Where a human parent lacks time, God transcends time. Where a human parent lacks interest, God faithfully pursues His people.”
God will adopt us-He promises us an inheritance, which includes being with Him for eternity in heaven. Therefore, we are to embrace our hunger to be in a family. No matter what our experiences have been with earthly parents or as parents to our children, we are to give voice to the cry within us for the Father who nourishes us and protects us.
Pg 254 “Let even the prayer over your nightly meal be as much a cry as a grateful thanks for the taste of what is to come.”
This is not to imply that others, both male and female, are not to play a rich role in nurturing and enjoying my spouse. Frankly, to the degree that I love her well, she will be free to enter into various relationships with depth and passion. But all other connections with others will only invigorate a deeper desire for an exclusivity of physical and personal intimacy that can be touched nowhere else as it can in the marriage relationship.
Jealousy is the energy that drives the protection of that relationship. It is a relationship freely entered into, just as is our relationship with God. The fidelity of our relationship with God protects us from idols that will lure us away from Him and ultimately destroy us. But there is a difference between divine and human jealousy, and we must never lose sight of it. God has the right to possess and protect. We do not possess our spouse, but we do have to privilege of protection.
In certain situations in which loyalty to one another is compromised, jealousy is not an ugly suspicion that shows weakness, but a virtue that has a noble purpose: the preservation of an exclusive relationship. In these situations, to ac on jealous feelings is to demonstrate courage in the face of danger. Indeed, it reflects God's own character as a God who protects His loved ones.
pg 129 We live a great deal of our lives unprotected, misunderstood, and lonely. Even in the best relationships, individuals are still left hungry for someone to comprehend their world and enter their struggle-to embrace them with a passion that seizes them and melts them into a union that will never be broken.
130 We long to be protected and pursued. At its best, jealousy offers both. Human jealousy, though mired in sin, nevertheless reflects something of the jealous heart of God. And it is a glimpse of His jealous heart that allows us to be seized with desire to be loved exclusively without feeling foolish.
pg 131 His jealous love will possess us, protect us, and pursue us for eternity.
The Cry of the Soul
Bumper car ride – Know you are going to get hit; only a matter of when and how hard?
When things are going to collapse or get knocked down again.
In the midst of negative emotions learn to love God.
Enter the pain of our hurt without apology or compromise.
With God: PASSIONATE involvement and utter awe in the mystery of His glorious character.
God who reveals Himself in the midst of our struggle.
CS Lewis – His life depended on his willingness to die.
Traffic – anger toward yourself and others does not take away desire to be on time, it allows you to escape the panic of waiting and the pain of hoping the traffic will clear.
Waiting intensifies pain because it forces us to see we are dependent creatures.
Righteous anger is called for when we see God’s glory violated. (p 77) grieves for both.
Anger – God designed and blessed anger in order to energize our passion to destroy sin.
The person filled with unrighteous anger suppresses the freedom of others, trying to force submission. His anger consumes the other, filling an emptiness that demands satisfaction and refuses to cry out in humble, vulnerable need.
Righteous and redemptive anger.
“I don’t know what it would be like for you to so deeply desire to be like the Lord and also so easily hurt others.”
Righteous anger allows the offense to be seen as an issue between the offender and God.
Move TOWARDS God with our questions. Deeper desire to punish sin in order to destroy the cancer growing in the person who brought pain to your heart.
HATE sin in our own hearts more than we see in theirs. Grow in patient sorrow of the righteous anger.
The irony of questioning God is that it honors Him: it turns our hearts away from ungodly despair toward a passionate desire to comprehend Him.
p. 155 inevitable disappointment
My ultimate HOPE is in God, who will never let me down.
Pg 156 Death is real – severs relationships and dashes hopes.
P 159 Jesus’ cry of despair also transforms all human suffering as a promise. It is a down payment on hope. Jesus suffered, and so will we. But He has been there before us; He waits for us a the end of our sorrow. He has been perfected and resurrected through suffering; so will we. --- he waits for us or is he with us in it?
P160 brought forth streams of both sorrow and laughter.
P 161 In this way, despair catapults us not into the dark abyss, but into the bright presence of God.
Glory’s bright, beautiful reflection of God’s character.
Bear the weight of our offense with sorrow and strength.
P 173 “When faced with contempt, most people flee or defend themselves with intensified anger. In either case, the one who uses contempt feels both safe from desire and free from the call to love and be loved. It is an apparently impenetrable shield that blocks any movement toward the heart.”
P 175 “In His odd mercy, however, He handles our contempt by cursing His own Son. Our contempt will never be shattered until we are unnerved by God’s contempt toward the arrogant and we are drawn to the horror of the Father cursing the Son. Here we will see the divine about-face of contempt: from evil’s mockery to the mockery of evil.”
Pg 177 “Our use of contempt against others and ourselves will be transformed to the degree that we are unnerved by God’s mockery of arrogance and awed by the spectacle of the contempt He unleashes against His own Son.”
Pg 184 “ But no matter how derisively we mock, we will never get what we need, what only humble repentance can gain: grace. Indulging in contempt will never assuage our hunger for forgiveness. Eventually, we will either give ourselves over to an inner hardness or grow exhausted with our own contempt.”
Pg 186 – good friend and mentor: “No man more richly encouraged or delighted in our success. His death was the loss of a father.”
P 187 “ The surprise of God is that His strength shows itself most profoundly not in our proficiency at making life work, but in our weakness.”
192 shame exposes what we worship
p 206 helpless recipients of kindness
Look into the eyes of the One who does not condemn but instead he offers grace, forgivenss, and freedom.
P 208 entrust soul to God, our Advocate.
P 213 FORGIVENESS, Redemption, RECONCILIATION
216 Hope in our advocate opens hearts to confidence
Gratitude softens the self-hatred of shame.
P 235 “God feels the anguish of being misunderstood and ignored. He responds with anger, sarcasm, and longing. …He lays out His desire: “I want your gratitude, your loyalty, and your passion. I want your heart.”
Pg 252 “Where a human parent lacks resources, God gives himself as our resource. Where a human parent lacks time, God transcends time. Where a human parent lacks interest, God faithfully pursues His people.”
God will adopt us-He promises us an inheritance, which includes being with Him for eternity in heaven. Therefore, we are to embrace our hunger to be in a family. No matter what our experiences have been with earthly parents or as parents to our children, we are to give voice to the cry within us for the Father who nourishes us and protects us.
Pg 254 “Let even the prayer over your nightly meal be as much a cry as a grateful thanks for the taste of what is to come.”
February 13, 2023
Best for ages 18 and up due to references to sexual abuse and trauma of various kinds.
If you've ever felt guilty for you emotions, you need this book.
Truly, this is one of the best books about understanding emotions from a Biblical standpoint I've ever read. I appreciated that this was co-written by a biblical scholar and psychologist. Each of them brought so much to the table that was real, practical, and grounded in the scripture.
Using the Psalms as a guide, these two talk about different emotions. Instead of saying: anger is bad, they delve deep into the emotion of anger and separate godly anger and productive anger verses anger that the Bible warns against. They cover so many emotions that we usually label as bad and show that their are biblical, godly uses for those emotions.
I think having someone who is a psychologist really helped with this book. He contributed so much practical help. Having a biblical and a trained particle perspective make this book a gem.
I highly recommend this book for adults who are trying to learn more about emotions from a biblical perspective, those recovering from trauma, and those who have sat under poor teaching about emotions.
If you've ever felt guilty for you emotions, you need this book.
Truly, this is one of the best books about understanding emotions from a Biblical standpoint I've ever read. I appreciated that this was co-written by a biblical scholar and psychologist. Each of them brought so much to the table that was real, practical, and grounded in the scripture.
Using the Psalms as a guide, these two talk about different emotions. Instead of saying: anger is bad, they delve deep into the emotion of anger and separate godly anger and productive anger verses anger that the Bible warns against. They cover so many emotions that we usually label as bad and show that their are biblical, godly uses for those emotions.
I think having someone who is a psychologist really helped with this book. He contributed so much practical help. Having a biblical and a trained particle perspective make this book a gem.
I highly recommend this book for adults who are trying to learn more about emotions from a biblical perspective, those recovering from trauma, and those who have sat under poor teaching about emotions.
August 4, 2024
This book is excellent. The authors look at the more difficult emotions of anger, fear, jealousy, despair, contempt, and shame, and how we can voice and accept these “cries of the soul” as we wrestle with them. Instead of pouring our energy into trying to control difficult emotions, we can allow our deep struggles to reveal his character and goodness and to draw us closer to Him. I found myself taking my time in processing each chapter of this book slowly to get the most out of it.
This quote at the end of the book ties it together well:
“They {the Psalms} express all the difficult emotions we experience today - anger, fear, jealousy, despair, shame, and contempt. Crucially important, however, is the fact that in the end the laments turn to joy, comfort, trust, and worship. In other words, they turn to God. This is where suffering drives us.”
This quote at the end of the book ties it together well:
“They {the Psalms} express all the difficult emotions we experience today - anger, fear, jealousy, despair, shame, and contempt. Crucially important, however, is the fact that in the end the laments turn to joy, comfort, trust, and worship. In other words, they turn to God. This is where suffering drives us.”
December 2, 2023
Dan Allander is a christian therapist and a hero if mine so I was excited to be finally able to read this book after it was on my TBR for a while. The book takes a closer look at different uncomfortable emotions in different forms (e.g. righteous vs. unrighteous anger) and invites us to feel them instead of pushing them away. The description of how God wants to meet us in the struggle showed me a new facet of Gods love for us in midst of lifes struggles and challenges.
Even though I liked the book a lot and took a lot away from it I only give it four stars because it felt like it would never end... The book was well written so it could also be a thing of the books I have been reading before and the writing styles I am used to.
Even though I liked the book a lot and took a lot away from it I only give it four stars because it felt like it would never end... The book was well written so it could also be a thing of the books I have been reading before and the writing styles I am used to.
April 7, 2018
"The Psalter invites us to feel emotion without immediate resolution. It not only permits dark emotions; it demands that we be overwhelmed by what we cannot control or change. Oddly, it is in our helplessness to change what unnerves us, in our cry of desperation, that we hear the song of eternity coursing through us even when we are dead to hope.
"Listen: it grows. The music comes when it is least expected, least deserved, least understood. It is the faint sound that allures us to continue on the journey awaiting the ovation, the rousing applause of heaven."
"Listen: it grows. The music comes when it is least expected, least deserved, least understood. It is the faint sound that allures us to continue on the journey awaiting the ovation, the rousing applause of heaven."
September 12, 2020
This book endeavors to process negative emotions as existential questions to God, and does so through the lens of the psalms. It was a fun and at times challenging read. I wish it were a bit more technical and in depth, as I would like to learn varying interventions for clients based on the principles. Perhaps reading it again might help me familiarize and synthesize some of the thoughts though....
July 29, 2024
It was really interesting to explore how negative human emotions, while a fractured version, reflect and redirect us to God’s character. Not sure if I agreed with every little detail of the book, but it encouraged me to think!
February 22, 2024
4.5*s. Practical, deeply insightful, and completely biblical in its analysis of a wide range of deep emotions. It’s become a classic for a reason.
December 27, 2024
One of my favorite Christian books. Cried multiple times
December 1, 2024
Ok this was an audiobook listen for me but I’m gonna need to go back and read the actual book because wow — excellent.
Read
June 10, 2025Umm so he said some things that I didn't like so that's probably what I will remember from it but 90% of it was good.
October 24, 2024
Challenging, helpful, good content to think on and to consider when counseling
August 22, 2022
#ULTRA 🇵🇦
This book is loaded. I read it at a season in my life when I needed to hear it most. Almost a quarter of the book is the Psalms quoted, so obviously that’s loaded. But the content beyond that is so full as well! A few favorite quotes from the beginning of the book that kept me devouring the rest:
-“Even when life is delightful, joy is fleeting and it’s brief appearance only deepens our desire for more. Pleasure holds a wistful incompleteness because, even at best, it is a poor picture of what we were meant to enjoy.”
Reality is that I live in a broken world. This wasn’t the way God intended it to be. We were made for more. We long for more. Tasting fleeting joy is bittersweet because it is fleeting. It hurts to crave and not be filled completely. But reality is where I meet God.
-“This absence of feelings is often a refusal to face the sorrow of life and the hunger for heaven; it is not the mark of maturity but rather the boast of evil. Our refusal to embrace our emotions is often and attempt to escape the agony of childbirth and buttress the illusion of a safe world. It is an attempt to deal with a God who does not relieve our pain.”
-“The laments [of the Psalms] are refusals to settle for the way things are. They are acts of relentless hope that believes no situation falls outside Yahweh’s capacity for transformation.”
This book is loaded. I read it at a season in my life when I needed to hear it most. Almost a quarter of the book is the Psalms quoted, so obviously that’s loaded. But the content beyond that is so full as well! A few favorite quotes from the beginning of the book that kept me devouring the rest:
-“Even when life is delightful, joy is fleeting and it’s brief appearance only deepens our desire for more. Pleasure holds a wistful incompleteness because, even at best, it is a poor picture of what we were meant to enjoy.”
Reality is that I live in a broken world. This wasn’t the way God intended it to be. We were made for more. We long for more. Tasting fleeting joy is bittersweet because it is fleeting. It hurts to crave and not be filled completely. But reality is where I meet God.
-“This absence of feelings is often a refusal to face the sorrow of life and the hunger for heaven; it is not the mark of maturity but rather the boast of evil. Our refusal to embrace our emotions is often and attempt to escape the agony of childbirth and buttress the illusion of a safe world. It is an attempt to deal with a God who does not relieve our pain.”
-“The laments [of the Psalms] are refusals to settle for the way things are. They are acts of relentless hope that believes no situation falls outside Yahweh’s capacity for transformation.”
Displaying 1 - 30 of 163 reviews