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Closet Full of Coke: A Diary of a Teenage Drug Queen
A Glimpse Inside a Hidden World
Narrated by the teenage girl who lived it, Closet Full of Coke tells the true story of how a New York suburban fifteen-year-old girl's savvy and wit helps turn the small-time drug business of Armando, a Colombian drug dealer, into a multi-million-dollar cocaine operation that puts them on the DEA's Wanted List.
This intimate diary gives readers a fast-paced glimpse of the couple's speedy rise to riches, and their inevitable descent.
These wannabe drug lords of the 1980s New York-to-Florida drug scene end their story only three years later with an untimely death, betrayal, and revenge.
Here is a true account of drug dealers whose obsession with money, power, sex, and glamor drives them to a lifestyle of deceit and recklessness, ending in tragedies that destroy lives forever.
This is no ordinary memoir; this is Memoir Noir
From the Author:
I wanted the foolish girl I once was to tell her story without interruption. The result is a diary written like a novel. There is no reflection or analysis. There is a salacious story full of colorful characters and dialog, told by the teenager who lived it.
Drug dealers have an interesting ethos unknown to outsiders. They live by elaborate rules and codes and use intricate methodology to conduct business. They are far more organized than people imagine, and they see themselves as business people and entrepreneurs. Serious dealers who want success don?t use drugs and they deal to other dealers, not to users.
I compare my book to Film Noir. According to filmsite.org, the primary moods of classic film noir include melancholy, alienation, disillusionment, disenchantment, moral corruption, evil, guilt, desperation, and paranoia.
These moods are prominent in my book.
Readers have called it haunting, a car wreck you can't look away from, a roller coaster ride, and Alice in Wonderland meets Scarface.So if you like the edge of your seat, hold on tight and listen to my story.
FREE Read the first eight chapters for free on the Closet Full of Coke website!
298 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 11, 2012
350 people are currently reading
578 people want to read
About the author
Indra Sena
3 books15 followers"I spent six years on my memoir: two writing it, two rewriting it, two rewriting it with editors. Although it garnered interest by agents and publishers all of them wanted me to "create an ending that sells." I wanted to write a true story so I self-published my book without a manufactured ending. It is about my life as a teenage criminal. It covers just four years in the early 80s. I learned a lot while creating my book so I made this blog to share my thoughts about writing and the memoir genre."
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 80 reviews
January 10, 2015
Closet Full of Coke what a tale and it's all TRUE! That bit amazes me because sometimes it felt like I was reading a fictional novel or watching an episode of The Wire.
I really respect Indra because she mentions how publishers all wanted a HAPPY ENDING when all she wanted to do was write the truth (as you can already guess it wasn't).
Overal I majorly enjoyed the style of writing and it's approach was simple but it easily painted a very vivid picture in my mind...Seriously the events played out in my head as if things were happening on a TV show.
I think you owe yourself a favour to read this book if you enjoy reading about people who live in the "fast lane" and how it usually screws up their life so terribly....And that you can breath happily that your life is nothing like theirs.
I really respect Indra because she mentions how publishers all wanted a HAPPY ENDING when all she wanted to do was write the truth (as you can already guess it wasn't).
Overal I majorly enjoyed the style of writing and it's approach was simple but it easily painted a very vivid picture in my mind...Seriously the events played out in my head as if things were happening on a TV show.
I think you owe yourself a favour to read this book if you enjoy reading about people who live in the "fast lane" and how it usually screws up their life so terribly....And that you can breath happily that your life is nothing like theirs.
May 2, 2018
I really, really enjoyed reading this book, although I certainly didn't enjoy imagining the way the two sisters suffered.
They really didn't have much of a chance to begin with, having parents like they did.
Very well-written book, with great clarity and, amazingly, a subtle sense of humour and hope throughout.
It's hard to write (and have published) a memoir. People say, "this should have been different", or "that was a bit unbelievable, it should have been written differently", but the thing is, memoirs are about WHAT HAPPENED. Not what we think SHOULD have happened. It's life. We can't change it and it gets written as it occurred.
I highly recommend this book for anyone, and hope the author has forgiven herself for her past, even if only a little.
We all do the best with the cards we are dealt, and some, like Indra, were dealt a terrible hand.
5/5 for a compelling and honest memoir.
They really didn't have much of a chance to begin with, having parents like they did.
Very well-written book, with great clarity and, amazingly, a subtle sense of humour and hope throughout.
It's hard to write (and have published) a memoir. People say, "this should have been different", or "that was a bit unbelievable, it should have been written differently", but the thing is, memoirs are about WHAT HAPPENED. Not what we think SHOULD have happened. It's life. We can't change it and it gets written as it occurred.
I highly recommend this book for anyone, and hope the author has forgiven herself for her past, even if only a little.
We all do the best with the cards we are dealt, and some, like Indra, were dealt a terrible hand.
5/5 for a compelling and honest memoir.
January 18, 2013
I read this book in one night. I was captivated by the story and strength and resilience of this young woman who, in middle school, began selling drugs to better her life. As I was a toddler when the narrative began, I personally cannot remember this time in American history. This book shed light on the Reagan years, and the advent of cocaine in America.
Portions of the book made me cry. The narrative is so heart-wrenching, you want to reach through the pages and hold this young girl, you want to step in for her absent parents. You keep turning the pages because you want to see how it all turns out.
What I really found lacking was more information on how the author is doing today. There was brief information at the end, but I would have found more information about her life in the intervening 25 years from her teenage years to publication equally as fascinating.
Another book perhaps?
Portions of the book made me cry. The narrative is so heart-wrenching, you want to reach through the pages and hold this young girl, you want to step in for her absent parents. You keep turning the pages because you want to see how it all turns out.
What I really found lacking was more information on how the author is doing today. There was brief information at the end, but I would have found more information about her life in the intervening 25 years from her teenage years to publication equally as fascinating.
Another book perhaps?
February 10, 2023
This memoir of a drug lordette delivers on brevity and style. As young as 13, she’s reselling LSD pills from blue boa-ed drag queens, smoking with teen hookers, and dodging a man-crazy Italian mom who’s only involvement is not letting her date “‘spics.” Girl’s tough, biz savvy by 15 getting fronted for speed and nonchalantly exchanging ass-pinches for hitchhiking rides. Armando, the “liquid-eyed” charmer in slacks and accentuating coats, is her main connect, helping her land a solo apartment by 16. She suspects he’s a pimp who impregnated a girl w/ two black eyes even though he’s been respectful to her in every way.
After almost a platonic year w/ him, she gets involved in his new cocaine venture and he grows envious of guys coming to her apartment and has her reluctantly test product and sell to scary bikers. Stranger than that, her estranged dad comes over she hasn’t seen since he cried she got expelled from school, and he plainly accepts the coke she offers. Celebrating Armando buying a second home in Miami to push product, they kiss over a lavish Spanish meal. It’s almost cute in a Kubrick Lolita way, her in glitter eyeshadow, carting around the huge stuffed Snoopy he bought her and him city walking w/ champagne and a smart suit jacket in tow. Forgetting their almost 20 yr age gap, she seems wiser and less reckless w/ the plane transport, limo rides, and flashy meals between big business made in blinks between strangers.
“The only imperialism I was interested in was my own.” Part II is more dire: Armando convinces her into sex and she’s regretful, mixing not only biz and pleasure but he seems married and abusive to that young mother she seen long ago. His apartment is also weirdly barren minus a humongous safe people had to be sus of going up the stairs. On top of that, he’s a clumsy lover, who soon admits he’s getting BJs from his underage stable, chalking it up to his “culture.” We don’t get much on why she’s jealous when they both cheat and w/ married people but this is a girl focused on making the paper her ma didn’t. The chs end so cinematic w/ dripping St. Mary’s candles and nuzzles from bar girlfriends.
A third in, the book moves weirdly fast w/o section breaks to where it can get a smidge confusing in terms of setting and timeframe. All at once, she and Armando fight more and act stupid, always drunk, flirting w/ strangers, and shooting guns for fun in their own condo (hello, someone and them could get clipped)! Armando is always sending dangerous people her way, also seemingly over his head on what to do about most things. There are several punctuation and capitalization mistakes. She tries to learn about the 14y/o prostitutes Armando uses but doesn’t know how to help besides dinner, drugs, and driving around. She affairs w/ black mafioso, white clubsters, and Colombian muscle, knowing Armando will slaughter her if he finds out. She gets his brother in law to scare away any clingy admirers—in broad daylight w/ a 9mm pressed to their hip.
I get a bit sick of them eating at the same lame Cuban place and the nondescript club where she always winds up pulling her friend’s hair and swearing in Spanish. But it’s a diary so it makes sense to stick to spots—but not how she’s always cursing out Armando then immediately in bed, whispering sweet nothings with him. She and his wife actually become best friends fast which is hella weird but fun. But she gets too mixed up w/ his bipolar bro-in-law. He’s an admitted prison rapist yet has these moments of childish wonder where he admires flip flops and feeds suspicious feds bread like they’re ducks because “it’s polite.” Part 3 is when sh!t hits the fan and I’m not sure I believe it, the cops so bumbling, not supervising anything, talking so movie like and her suddenly/flawlessly flirting up a storm like Jessica Rabbit. Also, how does no one know about AIDS in 1986? Anyway, what a depressing end I didn’t see coming in multiple ways.
After almost a platonic year w/ him, she gets involved in his new cocaine venture and he grows envious of guys coming to her apartment and has her reluctantly test product and sell to scary bikers. Stranger than that, her estranged dad comes over she hasn’t seen since he cried she got expelled from school, and he plainly accepts the coke she offers. Celebrating Armando buying a second home in Miami to push product, they kiss over a lavish Spanish meal. It’s almost cute in a Kubrick Lolita way, her in glitter eyeshadow, carting around the huge stuffed Snoopy he bought her and him city walking w/ champagne and a smart suit jacket in tow. Forgetting their almost 20 yr age gap, she seems wiser and less reckless w/ the plane transport, limo rides, and flashy meals between big business made in blinks between strangers.
“The only imperialism I was interested in was my own.” Part II is more dire: Armando convinces her into sex and she’s regretful, mixing not only biz and pleasure but he seems married and abusive to that young mother she seen long ago. His apartment is also weirdly barren minus a humongous safe people had to be sus of going up the stairs. On top of that, he’s a clumsy lover, who soon admits he’s getting BJs from his underage stable, chalking it up to his “culture.” We don’t get much on why she’s jealous when they both cheat and w/ married people but this is a girl focused on making the paper her ma didn’t. The chs end so cinematic w/ dripping St. Mary’s candles and nuzzles from bar girlfriends.
A third in, the book moves weirdly fast w/o section breaks to where it can get a smidge confusing in terms of setting and timeframe. All at once, she and Armando fight more and act stupid, always drunk, flirting w/ strangers, and shooting guns for fun in their own condo (hello, someone and them could get clipped)! Armando is always sending dangerous people her way, also seemingly over his head on what to do about most things. There are several punctuation and capitalization mistakes. She tries to learn about the 14y/o prostitutes Armando uses but doesn’t know how to help besides dinner, drugs, and driving around. She affairs w/ black mafioso, white clubsters, and Colombian muscle, knowing Armando will slaughter her if he finds out. She gets his brother in law to scare away any clingy admirers—in broad daylight w/ a 9mm pressed to their hip.
I get a bit sick of them eating at the same lame Cuban place and the nondescript club where she always winds up pulling her friend’s hair and swearing in Spanish. But it’s a diary so it makes sense to stick to spots—but not how she’s always cursing out Armando then immediately in bed, whispering sweet nothings with him. She and his wife actually become best friends fast which is hella weird but fun. But she gets too mixed up w/ his bipolar bro-in-law. He’s an admitted prison rapist yet has these moments of childish wonder where he admires flip flops and feeds suspicious feds bread like they’re ducks because “it’s polite.” Part 3 is when sh!t hits the fan and I’m not sure I believe it, the cops so bumbling, not supervising anything, talking so movie like and her suddenly/flawlessly flirting up a storm like Jessica Rabbit. Also, how does no one know about AIDS in 1986? Anyway, what a depressing end I didn’t see coming in multiple ways.
April 2, 2022
I loved this book. It kept me excited to read. Beautiful writing, but sad ending. It was my fun read for this month, I sat on my patio and read it every night because I really enjoyed it.
August 5, 2015
Ahh, the arrogance and stupidity of youth! That very special time of life from your teens to early twenties when consequences don't apply to you because you're invincible!
Indra Sena had a fucked up childhood, so far it ranks up there in top 5 of fucked up childhood memoirs. Her parents had no fucks to give about her and her younger sister Seely. The girls were pretty much left to raise themselves, their mother was more worried about finding a man to take care of her and their father was too busy with his second family to care.
Indra was 15 when she meets the swarthy shifty Armando on the front porch of her dealers house. Despite her better judgement, she gets into his car and goes with him to his apartment to get some pills to sell. One night her mother informs Indra and Seely that she's moving in with her boyfriend who just happens to hate children, they have the option of moving in with their father and hateful stepmother or fend for themselves. Indra chooses option number two and runs away she calls Armando because she had no one else to call, he's only more than happy to help.
In a short amount of time she goes from peddling pills to classmates to becoming Armando's partner in dealing cocaine and being his bitch, obviously that was his plan all along. Armando makes it clear that if she ever cheats on him he will kill her and the guy she cheated on him with, but because HE'S A MAN, he can screw around on her as much as he wants. Did I mention that he's about 20 years older than her and is married with a child? To Armando's credit he never hits Indra, though he does raise his hand to her a few times but never went through it. I know, what a prince.
Indra is living the kind of life she's always dreamt about, she has money a fancy place of her own and plenty of friends aka hanger ons. Her life is one big party until it's not, and when that party ends she must live with the consequences of her decision to get into Armando's car.
Now I'm left with two questions, what did Armando look like and is Indra Sena her real name?
Indra Sena had a fucked up childhood, so far it ranks up there in top 5 of fucked up childhood memoirs. Her parents had no fucks to give about her and her younger sister Seely. The girls were pretty much left to raise themselves, their mother was more worried about finding a man to take care of her and their father was too busy with his second family to care.
Indra was 15 when she meets the swarthy shifty Armando on the front porch of her dealers house. Despite her better judgement, she gets into his car and goes with him to his apartment to get some pills to sell. One night her mother informs Indra and Seely that she's moving in with her boyfriend who just happens to hate children, they have the option of moving in with their father and hateful stepmother or fend for themselves. Indra chooses option number two and runs away she calls Armando because she had no one else to call, he's only more than happy to help.
In a short amount of time she goes from peddling pills to classmates to becoming Armando's partner in dealing cocaine and being his bitch, obviously that was his plan all along. Armando makes it clear that if she ever cheats on him he will kill her and the guy she cheated on him with, but because HE'S A MAN, he can screw around on her as much as he wants. Did I mention that he's about 20 years older than her and is married with a child? To Armando's credit he never hits Indra, though he does raise his hand to her a few times but never went through it. I know, what a prince.
Indra is living the kind of life she's always dreamt about, she has money a fancy place of her own and plenty of friends aka hanger ons. Her life is one big party until it's not, and when that party ends she must live with the consequences of her decision to get into Armando's car.
Now I'm left with two questions, what did Armando look like and is Indra Sena her real name?
July 28, 2013
"Mesc: A misnomer for tiny, hallucinogenic, purple pills. Mesc is short for the word mescaline, a reference to peyote cactus. The pills do not contain peyote. They are made from low-potency LSD and fillers.
Buy: A wholesale purchase of drugs by a drug dealer." (Page 1)
This is only page one of Closet Full of Coke by Indra Sena. Right away the readers see they are about to be witness to a world that they may find disturbing. It is about a child who is also a drug lord surrounded by pimps, teenage prostitutes, and drug users, one of which is her own father. In many ways, she was a typical teenage who liked to get dressed up, have fun with friends, and fall in love; however, she is also the equivalent of a Street CEO in that she runs her own lucrative drug cartel. Indra for me was like a cross between Bella and Scarface.
Almost every chapter begins with a definition of a word relating to drug slang which further underscores the fact that this book is about a world that would appall most people and a child is directly in the center of it.
Indra hooks the reader instantly and maintains this pace throughout the book. I can say there was not one page when I was bored or disinterested which made it a quick read for me.
There are moments I actually became frustrated with Indra.
For example, being in jail was tougher for her than living the life of a drug dealer, even though she feared for her life on the "outside" on a daily basis. She takes the reader through her misery and embarrassment while imprisoned.
“Excuse me, officer,” I called out, “I’m having my period, and I need a tampon.” “Yeah, right,” she called back". (Page 209) Indra sat there for at least 6 hours with her underwear wet with blood.
Upon release, she had opportunity to start over. Her father provided her with a job sifting through dirt, testing it for a construction project. She says that this job "humiliated" her. When she was actively a drug dealer, her nails were manicured, but now they are filled with dirt. I was surprised that she was so humiliated over working a legitimate job, especially after having come out of prison in which she experienced what one would think was a greater degree of embarrassment.
It seems dirt in her nails would be a welcome change. There are times I thought, "why why don't you listen or take this way out?" The reader witnesses as she ignores her instincts, ignores good advice from those who do care about her, and throws away an opportunity at a second chance when she got out of jail.
You then realize this is a diary and her journey is going to take place no matter how much you want to jump through the pages and shake sense into her. Indra simply tells her story stating what happened without any filter, regret,or any judgment upon herself.
Overall, I did feel a great deal of sympathy for her, especially considering how she was treated by her parents. For instance, her mother left Indra and her younger sister to live by themselves so that she can live with her boyfriend who does not like children. Indra then describes her father's unconventional reaction when she reveals she is a drug dealer. "I laid lines out on my kitchen table with a razor and handed him the straw. My father’s face remained solemn. He simply took the metal straw from me, his slanted eyes oblique. 'You’re selling this now?' He snorted the line, 'how much?' (page 58)
My heart breaks for her at how her parents were not a source of strength and guidance which clearly led her on this destructive path in life.
My main criticism of the book is that it is really in need of an epilogue. An update on the characters in her diary and especially on Indra would have made the book more complete. The author does have an update on her web site of some of the characters in the book, which did provide me with the closure I needed from her story.
Verdict
Bookshelf. "Closet Full of Coke" is a fascinating, brutally honest story of being a teenage drug dealer in the 1980's. It was so honest and uncensored, I felt as if I was looking through a neighbor's window but couldn't look away.
Here is a response from author Indra Sena on a blog that has since been shut down:
Indra Sena said...
Hi Laura: Thanks for reading and reviewing my book. I really enjoyed reading your thoughts. I find your analysis of "dirt under my nails" fascinating. I think the main thing to remember is I was extremely young and totally lost. No one who has not grown-up with zero parenting can understand how defenseless, directionless, and self-destructive you become as a result. Plus being raised by criminals normalizes that lifestyle. I didn't even know I had a choice. I will add a short epilogue to a future edition but it surprises me how people think I would somehow be in touch with killers and criminals when I say I left that world forever and cut all ties with everyone. I left that world permanently at 19 and that makes me an anomaly. I was destined for a life of prison, drug addiction, and self-annihilation. There is tons of regret and self-judgment in my life but the book is narrated by my not-self-aware teen. My voice is not present in the book. Even I wish I could jump in and change the past. The simple answers you present for my teen self where not visible then and they come from a perspective of a logical adult, not an alcoholic homeless teen. I didn't trust anyone nor did I have a drop of self-esteem or self-preservation to lead me towards a better life. Readers can't really have it both ways: I left the life forever as they wanted but that means I don't have details on the criminals I cavorted with. As for me, I have spent my whole life trying to make up for my mistakes but I have no happy ending for you. Without a drink or a drug for nearly thirty years nothing dulls the pain of a past I will never escape till the grave. If I could teach one thing with my book it is this: you can ruin your life permanently with mistakes, even as a kid. And redemption is for hollywood movies. It does not exist for most of us who do unrepairable damage to those around us.
May 10, 2013 at 11:34 AM
Laura Hoffman said...
Indra,
Thank you for taking the time to respond to my review. I did recognize the fact that you were simply a young teenager with no guidance and I felt for you. Reading your book kind of made me feel helpless for the teenage you. It felt like I knew something bad was going to happen, but I couldn't do anything to prevent it.
This book is clearly a piece of you and it must be very difficult putting your life out there, ready to be judged by others. You definitely took a risk and have made yourself vulnerable to public opinion. My hope is that someone will read your story and it will help them either not make the same mistakes or realize that they have the opportunity to turn away from a bad situation they are currently in.
You wrote a book that has deservedly been well received by many.
I am very happy to see that you were able to survive your teenage years, where events happened to you that no one should ever witness in their lifetime.
I hope all is well, and take care.
Laura
Buy: A wholesale purchase of drugs by a drug dealer." (Page 1)
This is only page one of Closet Full of Coke by Indra Sena. Right away the readers see they are about to be witness to a world that they may find disturbing. It is about a child who is also a drug lord surrounded by pimps, teenage prostitutes, and drug users, one of which is her own father. In many ways, she was a typical teenage who liked to get dressed up, have fun with friends, and fall in love; however, she is also the equivalent of a Street CEO in that she runs her own lucrative drug cartel. Indra for me was like a cross between Bella and Scarface.
Almost every chapter begins with a definition of a word relating to drug slang which further underscores the fact that this book is about a world that would appall most people and a child is directly in the center of it.
Indra hooks the reader instantly and maintains this pace throughout the book. I can say there was not one page when I was bored or disinterested which made it a quick read for me.
There are moments I actually became frustrated with Indra.
For example, being in jail was tougher for her than living the life of a drug dealer, even though she feared for her life on the "outside" on a daily basis. She takes the reader through her misery and embarrassment while imprisoned.
“Excuse me, officer,” I called out, “I’m having my period, and I need a tampon.” “Yeah, right,” she called back". (Page 209) Indra sat there for at least 6 hours with her underwear wet with blood.
Upon release, she had opportunity to start over. Her father provided her with a job sifting through dirt, testing it for a construction project. She says that this job "humiliated" her. When she was actively a drug dealer, her nails were manicured, but now they are filled with dirt. I was surprised that she was so humiliated over working a legitimate job, especially after having come out of prison in which she experienced what one would think was a greater degree of embarrassment.
It seems dirt in her nails would be a welcome change. There are times I thought, "why why don't you listen or take this way out?" The reader witnesses as she ignores her instincts, ignores good advice from those who do care about her, and throws away an opportunity at a second chance when she got out of jail.
You then realize this is a diary and her journey is going to take place no matter how much you want to jump through the pages and shake sense into her. Indra simply tells her story stating what happened without any filter, regret,or any judgment upon herself.
Overall, I did feel a great deal of sympathy for her, especially considering how she was treated by her parents. For instance, her mother left Indra and her younger sister to live by themselves so that she can live with her boyfriend who does not like children. Indra then describes her father's unconventional reaction when she reveals she is a drug dealer. "I laid lines out on my kitchen table with a razor and handed him the straw. My father’s face remained solemn. He simply took the metal straw from me, his slanted eyes oblique. 'You’re selling this now?' He snorted the line, 'how much?' (page 58)
My heart breaks for her at how her parents were not a source of strength and guidance which clearly led her on this destructive path in life.
My main criticism of the book is that it is really in need of an epilogue. An update on the characters in her diary and especially on Indra would have made the book more complete. The author does have an update on her web site of some of the characters in the book, which did provide me with the closure I needed from her story.
Verdict
Bookshelf. "Closet Full of Coke" is a fascinating, brutally honest story of being a teenage drug dealer in the 1980's. It was so honest and uncensored, I felt as if I was looking through a neighbor's window but couldn't look away.
Here is a response from author Indra Sena on a blog that has since been shut down:
Indra Sena said...
Hi Laura: Thanks for reading and reviewing my book. I really enjoyed reading your thoughts. I find your analysis of "dirt under my nails" fascinating. I think the main thing to remember is I was extremely young and totally lost. No one who has not grown-up with zero parenting can understand how defenseless, directionless, and self-destructive you become as a result. Plus being raised by criminals normalizes that lifestyle. I didn't even know I had a choice. I will add a short epilogue to a future edition but it surprises me how people think I would somehow be in touch with killers and criminals when I say I left that world forever and cut all ties with everyone. I left that world permanently at 19 and that makes me an anomaly. I was destined for a life of prison, drug addiction, and self-annihilation. There is tons of regret and self-judgment in my life but the book is narrated by my not-self-aware teen. My voice is not present in the book. Even I wish I could jump in and change the past. The simple answers you present for my teen self where not visible then and they come from a perspective of a logical adult, not an alcoholic homeless teen. I didn't trust anyone nor did I have a drop of self-esteem or self-preservation to lead me towards a better life. Readers can't really have it both ways: I left the life forever as they wanted but that means I don't have details on the criminals I cavorted with. As for me, I have spent my whole life trying to make up for my mistakes but I have no happy ending for you. Without a drink or a drug for nearly thirty years nothing dulls the pain of a past I will never escape till the grave. If I could teach one thing with my book it is this: you can ruin your life permanently with mistakes, even as a kid. And redemption is for hollywood movies. It does not exist for most of us who do unrepairable damage to those around us.
May 10, 2013 at 11:34 AM
Laura Hoffman said...
Indra,
Thank you for taking the time to respond to my review. I did recognize the fact that you were simply a young teenager with no guidance and I felt for you. Reading your book kind of made me feel helpless for the teenage you. It felt like I knew something bad was going to happen, but I couldn't do anything to prevent it.
This book is clearly a piece of you and it must be very difficult putting your life out there, ready to be judged by others. You definitely took a risk and have made yourself vulnerable to public opinion. My hope is that someone will read your story and it will help them either not make the same mistakes or realize that they have the opportunity to turn away from a bad situation they are currently in.
You wrote a book that has deservedly been well received by many.
I am very happy to see that you were able to survive your teenage years, where events happened to you that no one should ever witness in their lifetime.
I hope all is well, and take care.
Laura
April 20, 2018
Supposedly real? It just doesn't have the ring of truth. I felt no sympathy for the protagonist, she throws herself into a relationship with someone who cheats on her, threatens her, treats her like a possession but when he gets mad she breaks down crying and begging the scumbag to take her back. Why should I care?
I'm sitting here getting angry because I can't express the myriad ways this just felt made up. From a portable breathing machine a doctor just happened to be carrying to riding in the back seat of a car that never had a back seat. A sudden mention of a dirty cop near the end who help them create their little drug empire but never once is brought up earlier, oh, I just remembered to tell you all this. . . Blah, garbage. One of the worst books I've read.
I'm sitting here getting angry because I can't express the myriad ways this just felt made up. From a portable breathing machine a doctor just happened to be carrying to riding in the back seat of a car that never had a back seat. A sudden mention of a dirty cop near the end who help them create their little drug empire but never once is brought up earlier, oh, I just remembered to tell you all this. . . Blah, garbage. One of the worst books I've read.
November 17, 2017
Not your typical coming of age story... this compelling narrative could be dismissed as unbelievable if it were fiction, but is all the more hair-raising because it is absolutely real. Indra Sena takes us into scenes and situations that we wouldn't expect to walk away from in one piece. Even if the narrator does cast her lot with "the dark side," her growing awareness and sense of conscience creates a heroine by the end -- one we want to root for.
November 21, 2017
Very intriguing
I must say this book def was one I knew I was going to finish. I really don't know what I was expecting. While it def had enough to keep me going from one page to the next. My heart goes out to all the children that were effected! From the girl telling the story all the way down to her dads kids. It def has me thinking about how drugs affect so many different elements of peoples life's! Its a sad story but thankfully some good did come out of it!!
I must say this book def was one I knew I was going to finish. I really don't know what I was expecting. While it def had enough to keep me going from one page to the next. My heart goes out to all the children that were effected! From the girl telling the story all the way down to her dads kids. It def has me thinking about how drugs affect so many different elements of peoples life's! Its a sad story but thankfully some good did come out of it!!
December 28, 2017
This book is a wonderful, and heart-wrenching, journey through the life of a teenager caught up in the "glamour" and high speed life of selling drugs in the 80s. This captivating story drew me in from the beginning and I was able to finish this book in two sittings; I just could not put it down. This book is particularly interesting given that it was self-published. The writing is pure and from the heart. Definitely a must read.
December 26, 2021
Unvarnished and the truth, probably, of one person's story, their path from a broken childhood into drug dealing in the 80s, and the glitz of clubs, coke, limos and wasted time that come along with it. Sena's insight, such as it is, doesn't really kick in until the end, as the first three quarters of the book are a straight-up retelling of life as they remember it. Useful for the peek into the period, and valuable because she's willing to tell it, but this won't be for everyone.
March 12, 2019
Decent book, a little redundant though. A lot of the same stuff over and over, sells drugs, parties, etc.
I feel like the take away from this book is that the American Justice system is pure garbage. Essentially you can do as much crime as you like and as long as there's someone above you, you can roll on, you can get away with it.
I feel like the take away from this book is that the American Justice system is pure garbage. Essentially you can do as much crime as you like and as long as there's someone above you, you can roll on, you can get away with it.
August 22, 2019
his book was a good, quick read. I was disappointed in the ending. How was the author's life after she decide to change? What happened to the characters? The book left me hanging. Otherwise, what I took away from the book was there is no honor among thieves, no friends among enemies, and where you're only as good as your dope game..
September 23, 2021
A must read!
This book I recommend to any age group, this is a book that really gives you "The real deal, front seat view" of a real Teen, trying to live and Make a living on the streets. As glamorous as she thinks life is, in a split second it's all gone, and your life behind bars isn't so glamorous. RiP Seely....
This book I recommend to any age group, this is a book that really gives you "The real deal, front seat view" of a real Teen, trying to live and Make a living on the streets. As glamorous as she thinks life is, in a split second it's all gone, and your life behind bars isn't so glamorous. RiP Seely....
July 6, 2023
This book was a good, quick read. I was disappointed in the ending. How was the author's life after she decide to change? What happened to the characters? The book left me hanging. Otherwise, what I took away from the book was there is no honor among thieves, no friends among enemies, and where you're only as good as your dope game..
July 10, 2023
This book was a good, quick read. I was disappointed in the ending. How was the author's life after she decide to change? What happened to the characters? The book left me hanging. Otherwise, what I took away from the book was there is no honor among thieves, no friends among enemies, and where you're only as good as your dope game..
September 1, 2017
Captivating!
Fast paced and kept me wanting more! It's a truly remarkable memoir when you stop for a minute and think about how young she was during this time. Mind blowing. Definitely a "must read!"
Fast paced and kept me wanting more! It's a truly remarkable memoir when you stop for a minute and think about how young she was during this time. Mind blowing. Definitely a "must read!"
March 3, 2018
Sad but very real.
S good but brutal story of life on the street for lost girls without parents. One of the safest stories O have ever read. I became very involved and read in one sitting.
S good but brutal story of life on the street for lost girls without parents. One of the safest stories O have ever read. I became very involved and read in one sitting.
June 21, 2018
Interesting read
It's hard to believe a person do young could rise so high and fall so low in such a short amount of time. I don't think there was a Inglewood person in this book with the exception of Michael and a probation officer who you will meet if you read the book.
It's hard to believe a person do young could rise so high and fall so low in such a short amount of time. I don't think there was a Inglewood person in this book with the exception of Michael and a probation officer who you will meet if you read the book.
January 12, 2019
A wild ride!
I couldn't put this book down. It is an intense depiction of the pain and devastation that comes from poor parenting. I applaud the author for her grit and perseverance through this tumultuous period in her life.
I couldn't put this book down. It is an intense depiction of the pain and devastation that comes from poor parenting. I applaud the author for her grit and perseverance through this tumultuous period in her life.
May 14, 2019
Good read!
Very well written. Devoured this book in a couple days. I like the brutal honesty that some stories just don’t have happy endings. *Spoiler alert: My condolences to the author for the loss of her sister.
Very well written. Devoured this book in a couple days. I like the brutal honesty that some stories just don’t have happy endings. *Spoiler alert: My condolences to the author for the loss of her sister.
July 6, 2019
Ok, but not what you'd expect.
Easy & fast read. Simply written but a lot of Spanish words that disrupt the flow of your reading speed. Typical drug teenager using sex and looks to get whatever she wants. She was not a loyal friend to anyone.
Easy & fast read. Simply written but a lot of Spanish words that disrupt the flow of your reading speed. Typical drug teenager using sex and looks to get whatever she wants. She was not a loyal friend to anyone.
July 27, 2019
Really grabbed my attention and I couldn't put the book down.
This was a great book-very engaging and emotional. I feel as if I know the author, she went through so much at such a young age.
This was a great book-very engaging and emotional. I feel as if I know the author, she went through so much at such a young age.
March 12, 2020
You Can't Always Get What You Want....
A nice coming of age memoir, admirably written by a first time author.
Quite an upbringing amid the coke crazed eighties with all the predictable
pain and suffering to come.
A nice coming of age memoir, admirably written by a first time author.
Quite an upbringing amid the coke crazed eighties with all the predictable
pain and suffering to come.
December 8, 2020
Excellent book about a young girl's experience in the 80's drug trade
This book was well written and engaging... the chapters flew by and I felt immersed in the authors world of sex, lies and addiction.
This book was well written and engaging... the chapters flew by and I felt immersed in the authors world of sex, lies and addiction.
July 5, 2022
crazy story
This was a really good read and an absolutely crazy story. If it’s all true, she is lucky to be alive and where she is today. Thank you for writing an engaging book that kept me wanting to turn the pages as fast as I could.
This was a really good read and an absolutely crazy story. If it’s all true, she is lucky to be alive and where she is today. Thank you for writing an engaging book that kept me wanting to turn the pages as fast as I could.
May 16, 2017
Teenage drug queen
This was a very eye -opening informative book very well written. It really takes you to the why's of drugs.
This was a very eye -opening informative book very well written. It really takes you to the why's of drugs.
August 2, 2018
Straight to the point
A must read! Real life, real crime, real situations! Page turner! True depiction of what goes up must come down.
A must read! Real life, real crime, real situations! Page turner! True depiction of what goes up must come down.
August 17, 2018
Wow
Major plot twists. Very readable finished so quickly. I could not get enough of this amazing book! Highly recommend to anyone.
Major plot twists. Very readable finished so quickly. I could not get enough of this amazing book! Highly recommend to anyone.
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