Flying Solo: Single Women in Midlife

by Carol M. Anderson, Susan Stewart, Sona Dimidjian

Unmarried at 40 - could there be anything worse? Our culture dictates that this woman is on her way down, a shrew or a lonely old maid, unattractive to men, a failure at catching or holding the golden ring of marriage. Yet, when psychologists Carol Anderson and Susan Stewart interviewed single women throughout the country - never married, divorced, with or without children - they discovered something different. Having confronted the old myths, these women are making choices, enjoying their own power, thriving on solitude and friendships. Their stories offer blueprints for living, as well as inspiration, for other women "flying solo." Most of these women did not intend to be on their own at midlife. They had accepted the "marriage and motherhood mandate" as their destiny - until Prince Charming failed to appear or the sacrifices of marriage turned out to be too great. While giving up the dream has not been easy, at midlife they have not only reached some resolution but are also busily creating purpose in their own lives. The authors share these women's stories and their practical advice on managing the mechanics of being single, transforming loneliness, redefining the importance of work, developing friendship and support networks, living with and without intimacy and sex with men, and choosing to have and raise children. In the process they define not just a new American lifestyle but a new American Dream.

Genres: Sociology, Nonfiction, Feminism, Psychology

288 pages, Hardcover

First published August 1, 1994

Reviews

[Carliette Sabbs]

It is a really interesting book. I was assigned to read this book by my Professor Mrs. Fagen at Lamar University. She is an amazing lady. I never look at these issues, but my endeavors to be a journalist writer, sparked the interest of every aspect of it. As humans we all have been through the process of happenings, where something happen to someone before we knew it could happen to us. This is life experiences of not knowing, with no expectation, but to believe in our aspiration that defines us as a person. So we tend to worry because of the process of our everyday experiences to dictate our life, not knowing it is only shaping it. The myths of these stories were unbelievable, to the extent of disappointing and scary at the same time especially for some one have not encounter such experiences and details. The key to the moral of the story is "Transformation"; now I see myself; the world actually see you how you see yourself.

[Joshunda Sanders · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's incredible that this was published in 1994 and so much of it is still relevant to today: single women stigmatized for choosing to remain unmarried, or parent as single mothers even if its the best choice for them. A great, affirming read for women who are looking for an alternative to modern-day angst about their marital decisions and choices (or lack thereof.)

[Robin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book for the newly single woman in midlife. It was comforting to read about other women's situations. It was also easy to skip over irrelevant topics (like choosing to have a child on one's own). Highly recommended for any one interested in how women navigate midlife in singlehood.

[Judy · Rating 5 out of 5]

For any woman who lives alone, by choice or circumstances, these interviews with single women will leave you more satisfied with your life.

[Lynda · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books I read on this topic.

[Marie-Lise Theys · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book, it makes you feel better and less at odd with society expectations