Making Friends with Death: A Field Guide for Your Impending Last Breath

by Laura Pritchett

Death is a great and grand mystery, and the actual act of dying is the last physical act of our lives. We can do it well, like a graceful well-rehearsed piano solo--or we can do it like that first awkward dance with a middle-school crush. But if anything deserves our full attention, some preparation, or some renewed clarity, death might be it.

In this light-hearted, irreverent exploration of the one thing that is certain in all lives, Making Friends with Death offers a look at all the uncertainty that precedes this final act. A compelling mix of practical how-to advice and personal narrative, this book encapsulates our greatest quest--to make peace with death. Pritchett offers up wisdoms she has gleaned from all sorts of places, including a decade of traditional research and a lifetime of other related, but less formal, pursuits (digging up a dead body, watching her dog be necropsied on the lawn, hosting Death Cafés, and confronting the grim reaper himself).

Making Friends with Death broaches the sacred and the scary with warmth, research, and humor. Interspersed with a variety of workbook-like exercises, this book will prove to be the go-to companion for anyone who would rather be able to greet death as an old friend, rather than a spooky stranger.

Genres: Nonfiction, Death, Spirituality, Self Help

269 pages, Paperback

Published September 12, 2017

About the author

Laura Pritchett's seventh novel THREE KEYS is now available. Booklist has this to say: “A dedicated environmentalist and acclaimed nature writer, Pritchett’s keen observations of the world…are wondrous and lyrical, grounding her heroine’s journey in beauty and grace.”

Kirkus has this to say: “Engaging…thought-provoking and insightful. A satisfying examination of one woman’s journey of self-discovery.”


Pritchett is also the author of PLAYING WITH {WILD}FIRE (Torrey House, 2024), THE BLUE HOUR (Counterpoint, 2017), RED LIGHTNING (Counterpoint, 2015) STARS GO BLUE (Counterpoint, 2014), SKY BRIDGE (Milkweed Editions, 2009), and HELL'S BOTTOM, COLORADO (Milkweed Editions, 2001).

Known for championing the complex and contemporary West, giving voice to the working class, and re-writing the “Western,” her books have garnered the PEN USA Award, the Milkweed National Fiction Prize, the WILLA, the High Plains Book Award, several Colorado Book Awards, and others.

She’s also the author of one play, two nonfiction books, and editor of three environmental-based anthologies.

She developed and directs the MFA in Nature Writing at Western Colorado University, one of the few in the nation with a focus on environmental and place-based writing.

She earned her Ph.D. from Purdue University.

Her work has appeared in The New York Times, O Magazine, Salon, High Country News, The Millions, Publisher’s Weekly, The Sun, Brain, Child, and many others.

She is also known for her environmental stewardship, particularly in regard to land preservation and river health. You can find out more at her website www.laurapritchett.com or www.makingfriendswithdeath.com

Reviews

[Laura Resau · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a truly important book that everyone should read, whether they think their death is near or far. In a wonderful, conversational style, Laura Pritchett shares with us her research on a variety of aspects of death-- the spiritual, emotional, and practical. It feels like a good friend is sharing fascinating experiences and thoughts in an honest, intimate, and often humorous way. Reading this book will make you more comfortable with the idea of dying (at some point in the future), and give you valuable yet humble advice on how to embrace the inevitable (and help others do it) in a meaningful way that ultimately honors life. Interestingly, after reading this book about death, I felt more ALIVE! I'll be recommending this book to all my friends and relatives, whether young or old.

[Ana Spagna · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is real, deep, honest, thought-provoking, and ultimately helpful. It’s about life and how to live more wholly by embracing what’s come for all of us and for all of our loved ones … or as Pritchett says so wisely, what’s within us. But don’t think for a second this lovely book is all philosophizing. Though we get a nice nourishing serving of deep thinking, we mostly get stories, humor, warmth, and more than anything, practical advice.

[J Burton · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I'd read this before the parents of my friends, and my own Dad, passed away. Death caught us by surprise in ways that it wouldn't have if we'd had Pritchett's guidance to help us navigate the logistical, financial, and beauracratic aftermath. There's no avoiding the grief and sorrow that death inevitably brings but there is something very comforting in having a clear-eyed plan to deal with it versus the typical, unhelpful, way of just pretending we're all going to live forever...and I'd wished I'd had it when my Dad died. But I DID have it when my Mom passed away ten years later and it helped enormously.

[Justinepow · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book for work. I have been working in palliative care for the last year and have finally have found some energy to read about the topic of death.

This is really a workbook. It walks you through different topics on death and dying and leaves space in the book for lots of reflection.

I believe death is an important topic for everyone to think about- its the only thing that every single person on the earth will experience and often we are afraid to talk about it with one another- especially with people who are dying. This book discusses the importance of powering through that desire to skip the hard topics and helps you with ways to work through it.

[Lael · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books on death and dying I've come across. Unique and practical. Entirely thought provoking. This one is coming home to stay on my bookshelf. It's the kind of book you'd give to a friend.

[Kathy D · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I was ten, I began to have this all-consuming terror of death and aging. It lasted (in my view) for months. I would cry uncontrollably every night and my mother would bring me to our front room, smoke her cigarettes and do her best to calm me down.

I love Laura and her work immensely but this was a book I did NOT run out and buy as soon as it came out (see above for reason).

So today, I finally finished it (just the reading, not the actual work). Thank you, Laura, for taking such an immense amount of time and research to give us the ultimate guide to death. Your humor had me crying with laughter - and honestly, I didn't cry with sadness when you got serious. I am in my third third of life at the moment - based on those very optimistic insurance algorithms - and my current bucket age is 20. Thank you for getting the ten year old to finally sit down and get a much better understanding of an event that none of us will escape.

And for my death mantra? "Let's see what's out there."

[Patrick · Rating 3 out of 5]

While it is a well researched and informative reference about an important topic, I found the writing somewhat fragmented and the content was a little to American for me. Nevertheless, death is a taboo that we shy from discussing so this book is important.

[Deidre · Rating 5 out of 5]

Perfect. Fantastic resource.

[Jacqueline Haskins · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is life-changing. And friendly! Bring popcorn. And joy, hope and curiosity. My thinking about death--and LIFE!--is forever changed. Thank you, Laura.