Hap and Hazard and the End of the World

by Diane DeSanders

For Dick and Jane, Dallas after World War II is a place of promise and prosperity: the first home air conditioners are making summertime bearable and Dick’s position at his father’s business, the Cadillac dealership, is assured. Jane has help with the house and the children, and garden parties and holiday celebrations are spirited social affairs. For the oldest of their three daughters, however, life is full of frustrating mysteries. The stories the adults tell her don’t make sense. Too curious for comfort, she finds her questions only seem to annoy them. Why won’t they tell the truth about Santa? What is that Holy Spirit business, and what is the difference between an angel and a ghost? Why is her mother often so tense and sad? And why does her father keep flying into violent rages?

Hap and Hazard and the End of the World is an intimate, finely crafted novel about the innocence and vulnerability of childhood and the dangers posed by adults who cannot cope with life’s complexities. It is also about the ingenuity born of loneliness and neglect, and the surprising, strange beauty of the world.

A fifth-generation Texan, Diane DeSanders is a history buff, theater lover, poet, mother, and grandmother. Between careers as a history teacher and antiques dealer, she has worked in regional theater in almost every capacity. She now writes, gardens, and sings in Brooklyn, New York. This is her first novel.

Genres: Fiction, Historical Fiction, Historical, Novels, Literary Fiction

288 pages, Paperback

Published January 9, 2018

About the author

A fifth-generation Texan, Diane DeSanders is a history buff, theater lover, poet, mother, and grandmother. Between careers as a history teacher and antiques dealer, she has worked in regional theater in almost every capacity. She now writes, gardens, and sings in Brooklyn, New York. Hap and Hazard and the End of the World is her first novel.

Reviews

[Angela M · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5.

Another character without a name, well at least nameless to the reader. This is the third book I’ve read this year with nameless characters and although there are so many things I liked about this book, this mechanism which seems to be a trend just doesn’t work for me . The only novel it did work in for me was The Road , which a read several years ago . It seemed natural that the father and son who had been stripped of everything in that post apocalyptic world, were also stripped of their names . I believe that this little girl deserved a name . Her parents are named Dick and Jane - go figure.

I've always been partial to books from the perspective of a child . So many times in their innocence, they seem wiser than the adults around them. Our narrator is a seven year old girl, so there will be the usual doubts about seemingly mundane things (except to a seven year old) about the existence of Santa and the Easter Bunny. However, there are also the meaningful perceptions about the troubles in her family, and the misunderstanding of what happens with her adopted Uncle Oliver, about God. On the surface, the family lives a comfortable life. Money is not an issue as Dick, the little girl's father works at the family Cadillac dealership. Early on, its apparent that he is an angry man, in pain mentally and physically with injured feet - crushed in the WWIi is no doubt suffering from PTSD. It's heartbreaking to hear the way she describes his frequent rants and how she tries to avoid eye contact during his fits of rage. It's heartbreaking to see how she longs for the past , when her father was away at war and before her baby sisters were born, when it was just her and her mamma.
"Now it's Mama and Daddy, and it's Mama and the babies, and it's Daddy alone, and it's me alone, out on my own, looking for somebody to be my friend."

Sometimes it's a straight narrative and other times it feels more like a stream of consciousness as she tries to find her way and get answers to things, answers that don't seem compatible with what she sees around her. "I want to ask more things, but how can you ask all the things you want in a house filled with disappointment?"
It's not the end of the world, but it is the loss of innocence way too early. It's also a picture of post war US as reflected in the Texas of this story. There's much here to think about. I may have given it 4 stars if I knew her name.

(Quotes are from a prepublished copy.)

I received an advanced copy of this book from Bellevue Literary Press/Ingram Publisher Services through Edelweiss.

[Jessica (Odd and Bookish) · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received this book for free through LibraryThing’s Early Reviewers.

I liked this book but I didn’t love it. The book consists of little vignettes from the narrator’s life. Most of them centered on the same things: her father and his rage, her relationship with her mother, her grandparents, her next door neighbor Nathan. There wasn’t much of a plot. I got halfway through and the plot seemed to be exactly where it was when I started. It was basically things happening, all slowly leading up to the loss of childhood innocence.

Overall, the book didn’t strike me as anything particularly special, but I did enjoy it reading it.

[Lolly K Dandeneau · Rating 3 out of 5]

via my blog: https://bookstalkerblog.wordpress.com/
“Aunt Lee Always said you couldn’t love things that could’t love you back. But in our family we did.”

Texas after World War II, Dick and Jane are full of hope and promise, air-conditioning is there to cool their summer hot skin and maybe Daddy’s temper. This is the story told through the eyes of Dick and Jane’s eldest daughter. In a time when parents were to be obeyed, only naughty children were curious and begging answers to things they had no business knowing. But she is desperate to know if Santa is real, and her friend Nathan is bad news but so exciting, and maybe she enjoys the things boys get up to more than she should. So what if she is a bit feral, or is always half listening to the grown ups and trying to assemble answers to the mysterious workings of the grown up world! Why is daddy so angry, always clumping around on his damaged feet? Everything changed when he came home from the war, injured, and suddenly Mama no longer seemed to like her much anymore. The war didn’t just change Daddy, according to her Mama it drained all the fun, carefree, charmed times they once shared, when they had danced the lindy and ended up in newspapers. All that vanished with the war. Sometimes he tells her things, Mommy downright refuses, why doesn’t Mama want her to know anything?

Why does Daddy get so upset around his family, after all, he too works in their business (A Cadillac dealership). The world was a different place during the war when it was just she and mama. Now she can’t even crawl into bed and curl into her, Daddy has taken her place, and so too had her new baby sister. Annie, the middle sister, knows how to be cute, but not her, she just stirs up trouble, has a nature just like her Daddy’s. Nana prefers Ted, Daddy’s brother. Nana has class, is the ‘brains’ of the family business. But why is daddy less loved? Is he really ‘just awful’? Why is Mama so sad, and Daddy so strong about all his opinions, obstinate to change? Daddy seems always on the verge of snapping, everything irritates and unsettles him. Mama is so tense, always waiting for his next blow up.

But when Daddy shows her the starry sky and explains the universe, she may just decide she likes him, ‘on a trial basis’, naturally. The beauty of this novel is our narrator is a child, not quite understanding everything that is broken nor why. She is hungry for knowledge, awakening in a sense and later in the novel when she finds herself in a heat-breaking, disturbing situation it seems to be an ending to her beautiful spirit. It’s like time traveling too, there was a naivete back then that is lost on children today. One of the chapters is titled ‘The Age of Reason’ and it’s fitting because there is a slow dawn of understanding creeping into our young narrator’s mind. Boys seem to know all the naughty things, this is back when kids learned all the forbidden secrets from their playmates. Kids spent more time with skinned knees and running around in packs. These days we tell children everything, and with technology- they find out anyway. Family dynamics were different, the man was unquestionably the head of the household, though women found ways to manage them or attempt to. A simple line in the novel speaks volumes ‘ Mama’s keeping what she has to say to herself.’ Seems there was a lot of that back then, dare not add fuel to the fire. This silence when her husband is getting worked up about the ugliness of a Lincoln (car), from the beginning the reader feels the tension between Dick and Jane, no matter how good things are, regardless of having hired help and a stable job with the family business.

It may just be the end of the world, or at least- the end of her childhood innocence.

Publication Date: January 9, 2018

Bellevue Literary Press

[Nancy · Rating 4 out of 5]

No one will tell me anything.~ from Hap and Hazard and the End of the World by Diane DeSanders

The world is a mystery to a child. Adults are the most mysterious of all.

I once wrote a poem about how I loved a child's "fragile questionings." I remembered that line while reading Hap & Hazard and the End of the World.

Most adults don't want to answer a child's questions, especially if the question threatens to upset the web of protection adults spin around a child. We tell them to believe in Santa Claus, in the Tooth Fairy, in the Easter Bunny--even when other children reveal they are not real.

I remember being horribly embarrassed when a Third-Grade boy explained that there is no Tooth Fairy. Too late--I had already shared the silver dollar I found under my pillow, proudly exclaiming it was from the Tooth Fairy. And I remember how our son pretended to believe in Santa Claus because it was expected.

The girl in this book pushes adults to tell her the truth. She desperately wants to understand the world and her life.

The book shares the loneliness of a girl who does not fit in."It seems there is something wrong with me," she cries out, "other people do not appear to be having this problem...other kids seem to know what to do and join in." What's wrong with me, she wonders. Oh, I remember feeling that way after a move when everything was so foreign, right down to the playground games.



When adults have problems, we think that ignorance protects the children. What is wrong with Daddy? the girl asks. He was off to war during her first years. He returns a bitter, angry man. How can her parents explain what they don't even understand themselves? The horror of war and the blasted bodies of comrades in arms, and the horrible pain of mutilation and the months of rebuilding what once was a strong and young body? Being crippled, self-medicating?

Set in the post-WWII years, so many things the girl observes were familiar. Vivid details of lipsticked cigarettes and willow trees, which were also in my childhood yard. Make-believe stories about The Girl recalling my own make-believe stories about being an orphan in Scotland or the star of the Nancy Show. The girl's mother retreats to her sewing room, a feeling I know well.

There is humor in the novel.

I recently realized that grown-ups don't know what you're doing if they're not looking at you. Although you have to watch out for the sides of their eyes. ~from Hap and Hazard at the End of the World by Diane DeSanders

And a horrible scene when an older boy abuses her trust and admiration.

There is a change in the universe. There are no more witches and goblins out there. There is no Blue Fairy. The world is plain and flat now, more gray, the mystery and brilliance gone out of it And all of the darkness is inside of me.~ from Hap and Hazard and the End of the World by Diane DeSanders

The novel left me with an ache.

I received a copy of the book from the publisher in exchange for a fair and unbiased review.

[Davina · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book really nails what it is like to be a child trying to understand the broken, dysfunctional people around you.

[fpk · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received this book as part of Early Reviewers from Librarything. I was attracted to the picture on the cover and the weird font of the title, as well as the book's description. I thought it'd be a weird little book, and I like weird little books. The story is told from the point of view of a nameless 7 yr old girl. She recounts her life in snippets, not chronologically, of growing up in Texas post WWII. A lot of her narrative is recounting events straightforwardly, but some of it is stream of consciousness style- with run on questions she has that nobody answers. There are lots of mysteries she wants solved, ("Is Santa real?" "What's wrong with Dad?")but she is met with retorts from her mother such as : "Of course he is. Because he just is." "And is that any of your business? Her father is a wounded vet, physically and psychically, who behaves unpredictably, violently. And yet there is no explanation given to the girl of why he's changed.
Perhaps the best part of the story is the 'feel' of it- the memories it evoked in me, of being small and bewildered and uninformed yet having some fun in the midst of it all. I only wish there had been more of a finale in this book; the ending just seemed to stop abruptly. Three stars. A good read for me; it kept my attention and was interesting overall.

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received this book from LibraryThing's Early Reviewer program.

This is the story of a little girl caught between childhood innocence and the adult world. It's also about an end to innocence and begs the question when do we lose that innocence entirely? Is it all at once when we find out that Santa and the Tooth Fairy don't exist? Is it when a husband comes home changed irrevocably and there's nothing you can do about it? Or maybe it's earlier when you live through abuse and trauma caused by those who are supposed to love you.

This book had moments of poignancy and brilliance but I couldn't give it 5 stars because it also sometimes got lost in the little girls viewpoint.

This is a new to me author and publishing house. I will be wanting to read more from both.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

LITERARY FICTION
Diane DeSanders
Hap and Hazard and the End of the World: A Novel
Bellevue Literary Press
Paperback, 978-1-9426-5836-8 (also available as an e-book, an audio book, and on Audible), 288 pgs., $16.99
January 9, 2018

Dick and Jane are well off, living with their three daughters in late 1940s Dallas when there were still cows and cotton fields out Preston Road. There are maids, cooks, yardmen, shopping at Neiman’s, dining at the Adolphus, and garden parties where the women are “talking chummily yet guardedly together out on the patio with their beautiful clothes and their diamond-cut ankles, sleek birds circling, feathers out.”

But Dick returned injured and broken from World War II. He’s in constant pain that mixes into an unstable compound with humiliation and frustration at his disfavored status at his father’s car dealership, Lone Star Oldsmobile and Cadillac, where he plays second to his brother. Dick explodes frequently and violently at “intolerable imperfections,” terrorizing his family, friends, pets, strangers, and inanimate objects.

The story is told through the first-person narration of the oldest daughter, seven years old, an anxious, imaginative child, adrift, neglected and lonely, confused by the grown-ups whom she should be able to trust to protect her. “If only I could have a big brother or even a big sister,” she laments, “someone older, or just someone—I need someone—who will tell me at least what it is that we are pretending.”

Hap and Hazard and the End of the World: A Novel is Diane DeSanders’s first book. DeSanders is a fifth-generation Texan who inexplicably lives in Brooklyn, New York. Happily, her Texan bona fides are on ample display in this charming yet heart-wrenching debut about a single tumultuous, pivotal year in the life of a young girl.

In Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy wrote, “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” The author’s choice of Dick and Jane for the parents’ names tells us that this unhappy family is not unusual, is in fact typical in the fact of their unhappiness, but the details are important, as is the fact that the child narrator remains nameless.

She relates vignettes representative of the good, the bad, and the ugly of this coming-of-age year, full of pathos in the partial understanding and magical thinking of a child. She desperately wants to believe, to have faith, in all sorts of things—God, Santa Claus, the Easter Rabbit, the adults she must depend upon—but her inquisitive mind demands proof. “I think some stories are real and some are not,” she thinks, “but grown-ups do not seem to want to tell you which are which.”

DeSanders’s word choices are precise, her style fluid, her imagery frequently delightful, as when Aunt Celeste shuffles cards for bridge, “her fingers dancers, the cards acrobats.” The child who narrates her world is sometimes daydreaming, sometimes caught in the rain (“I run out, climb the slippery wooden fence, run, slip on wet grass, fall down, get up, run, run, run”). She negotiates high-stakes playground politics (“a contest as vicious as that in any chicken yard”). Other times she’s sweetly comic: “I’d recently realized grown-ups don’t know what you’re doing if they’re not looking at you,” she tells us. “Although you have to watch out for the sides of their eyes.”

This is not a romanticized version of childhood, though the conclusion is pitch-perfect. This is a girl discovering cause and effect, exploring boundaries, feeling for the shape of her life, like the bullfrog trapped in their backyard swimming pool, “ranging the shape and size of the pool, being the shape and size of the pool, forgetting that there was ever anything else but the shape and size of the pool.”

“How much more they might accomplish if only they could talk to each other.” DeSanders quotes Jane Goodall in an epigraph opposite her author’s note. Goodall was talking about chimpanzees, but the sentiment is aptly chosen for DeSanders’s characters, a nuclear family in perpetual danger of fission.

Originally published in Lone Star Literary Life.

[Mara · Rating 2 out of 5]

Hap and Hazard don't really have anything much to do with this story. They're the family dogs. The end of the world seem to factor into it much either. This is the story of an unnamed girl, eldest of three daughters, as she tries to navigate being eight (give or take). No-one will answer her questions about anything important, and she lives in a world of unexplained things (her father's short temper, her grandparents' various idiosyncrasies, whether there really is a Santa Claus, is there actually something wrong with her, and on and on). While realistic perhaps, the method of relating a child's experience of the world around her with no explanations about what is really going on is predictably challenging and unfortunately, not very rewarding.

[Lori L (She Treads Softly) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hap and Hazard and the End of the World by Diane DeSanders is about a young girl with a dysfunctional family living in Dallas, Texas, after WWII.

An unnamed child is the narrator of these short interconnected sketches. She misses the time when she was the only child living with her mother while her father was away, in the War. Now her father is always angry, easily provoked into rages, and is in constant pain from his wounded, deformed feet. He likes to have everything a certain way, or he will fly into a violent temper tantrum. Her mother seems preoccupied and is often sad now. she is no longer the fun, carefree mother she used to be. She is busy with social events. She also cares more about the two new babies now and our narrator is left to deal with her questions on her own. And she has many questions that adults don't seem to want to answer, like is Santa real?

There are several heart breaking, poignant moments when you read this, as an adult, and see how the anger and complexities of her parent's relationship is deeply affecting this young girl. It also captures a time in history, America after WWII. The questions the girl has are question most children have. She struggles with school and making friends. She's trying to make sense of her world and some of the problems she has that she can't talk to anyone about. Her father, due to his injuries, is constantly described as clump-CLUMPing here and there, knocking things over or off tables, in an angry reaction, while her mother is tense, waiting for the next explosion.

This well-written series of vignettes works on some levels, but not completely for me. The sketches are presented in a nonlinear story line, although they do eventually culminate in a story and a more complete picture of a traumatic event. Our narrator often repeats the same concerns and questions, reflects on the same things, which makes sense for a child, but I'm not sure that I want to read the same thing repeatedly as an adult, especially with run-on sentences in a stream-of-consciousness style.

DeSanders does capture the questions and innocence of childhood in a dysfunctional family, but misses the mark not naming her narrator. Names are very important to children, especially their own names, even when all they are thinking about is are the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus real? Or why do you like the babies more than me? Or why do boys play the way they do? Certainly a parent would call out her full name at least once or twice. Sometimes an unnamed character is representative of an every-man, a common character, but our narrator is a specific child, and a child curious enough to want to know why she was named the name she was and to let us know who she is.

Disclosure: My review copy was courtesy of Bellevue Literary Press.

[Steena Carey · Rating 2 out of 5]

***CONTENT AND MINOR SPOILER WARNING***

This books contains a graphic child rape, which isn't in itself the reason I marked it so low.

Aside from the style the author chose to convey this story in being almost completely unreadable (it's extremely rambling and repetitive), there isn't really a story here. This is just a collection of awful, depressing childhood memories. The author does next to nothing to show how this events are connected series in a bigger picture. It's just "My dad's abusive. Also I saw a kid break his leg once. Also my grandma's adopted son raped me". Not only does the narrator's tone make the book mind-numbingly boring to read, but each of these traumatic events doesn't show any clear consequences for the character beyond the chapter they take place in.

I briefly considered that this stylistic choice was meant to express how children see the world and sometimes it appears a bit disjointed, but honestly, if that was the author's intention, it wasn't clear enough for me to buy into it. It's just the same terrible things happening over and over, and while that might make for a relatable life, it makes for an awful story, again, if you can even really call it a story in the traditional sense of the word.

One star regained because I finished it and a few of the chapters were well crafted but overall, I would strongly recommend you read something else.

[Sharon Layburn · Rating 3 out of 5]

The nameless main character of this connected vignette tale is a child who is eager to be seen seriously. She considers herself ready to be treated as a real person and not just as a half-formed thing to be brushed aside by her parents and other family members.
Sometimes the voice of The Girl seems spot on- precocious but well envisioned, while other parts of the narration brought me out of the novel because the language, speech, and observations, were suddenly conveyed in an entirely adult manner- a stretch even for an intellectually advanced/wise beyond her years character. In addition, there were passages when the secondary characters seemed a little flat, a bit caricature-like.
Ultimately, however, the story was sneakily affecting. Never allowing the reader direct access to the events of the story, DeSanders holds their attention by making them work to understand what The Girl is trying to convey- offering hazy impressions, disturbing suggestions, and shadowy teases of the events that are happening to and around the main character.
This novel has more than its fair share of slow points and the writing was a bit rough at times, but still I closed the book thinking about The Girl, and hoping that she will be able to rise above her troubled childhood and have the life she deserves in the future.

[HighPrairieBookworm - Jonni Jones · Rating 3 out of 5]

An unnamed little girl is telling us things she believes are important in her life. She’s living in Texas just after WWII with her mother, father, and two siblings she only calls “the babies” until we learn their names much later in the book.

“Little Girl” is telling us stories about her parents, both sets of grandparents, and her childhood friends.

Father was badly injured in the war and is in constant pain. A day doesn’t go by that he doesn’t fly into a rage because of that pain. Mother tries to be peacekeeper.

The story is mostly vignettes about her grandparents’ homes, her father’s rage, her mother’s emotional distance, and the milestones of growing up. Is Santa Claus a real person? Does the Easter Bunny exist? This naivete is central to “Little Girl’s” story and character because the loss of innocence and the pain of growing up is the main theme of this book.

There really isn’t a plot to this story. It’s mostly character driven but it does tell a story that can be both mundane and heartbreaking.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I received this book in exchange for a fair review.

[Krista · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received this book through Library Thing's early reviewer program.

The book is told from the view of a young girl, and is told in broken thoughts, as a young girl might actually perceive the world. It took a little while to get used to this format - and the first half of the book took me the longest to read, simply because it was difficult to concentrate.

The novel is a collection of thoughts from the unnamed child, but does not seem to have a story arc or a plot. It is more of a series of this happened, and then this happened, and then this happened kind of narratives, so that the story really could have ended after any of the chapters, and there would have been just as much resolution.

That being said, it is interesting to see this little girl's perspective on things that are much bigger than the scope of her imagination. In Forest Gump fashion, you get little glimpses of events that are more significant than the little girl can comprehend.

[Matt · Rating 4 out of 5]

A striking and unusual coming of age story that wasn't quite for me, but which kept my interest anyhow. We follow a young girl, aged six or so, through her post WW2 childhood in close perspective chapters that strive toward the lyrical more than narrative progression, though there's some of that, too. We're in Dallas, and she's got an angry dad and a collection of strange, well-drawn extended family members.

The story sort of simmers around a couple key ideas, like where's the dad's emotional issues going and what happened last summer with cousin Oliver. That second question, about Oliver, resolves itself in a section that feels like the least successful in the book, which is too bad, given its weight and how poorly I thought it worked out. But the dad thread did develop well and while it didn't resolve, it at least went someplace.

I don't love close narration or the voices of children in fiction. But I could recognize the skill and grace of a lot of this.

[Bee Joy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read some of the reviews of this book before reading it, so I didn't hold out much hope honestly. But "Mama didn't raise no quitter!" So I read. And I enjoyed.
I read it more like each chapter was a short story. A brief look into a child's world. Taking into account the time it is taking place, I wondered if maybe this child was slightly on the spectrum thus the comments about people always asking her (or her parents) "what's wrong with you" made a bit more sense. She didn't want to be touched, she didn't possess much emotion, but she was intelligent and inquisitive.
To each their own, but I enjoyed the little chapters and the attention to detail that I found there.

Happy reading!!

[Debi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Dick is a General Motors man who rants and raves about any other brand. He is a man out of control. If things don't go exactly his way he becomes angry, yelling and breaking things before he storms off. Jane, his wife, bears him with an 'Oh, Dick....' and silent tears. The oldest of their three daughters has many questions. Is there really a Santa Claus. And Easter Rabbit? Life is much more complex than it should be for a 7 year girl. ( )

[Victoria Laskowski · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well. This book was packed full of disturbing stories. A disturbed father with PTSD who controls his whole family with his anger. A mom who appears to be jealous of her eldest daughter. Some crazy grandparents who I kind of liked. Two invisible siblings. Poor Hap and Hazard of the title, who we don’t meet until halfway through the book. And the 8-year-old main character’s experience of sexual assault and rape, which were treated far too incidentally for the level of trauma they must have caused. I could complain that the chapters were more like vignettes, but that kind of worked given all that is happening. I was intrigued by the little girl, but someone should have gone after her uncle.

[Dawn · Rating 2 out of 5]

The cover and whimsical title caught my eye while browsing at the library but it unfortunately did not deliver. The writing is choppy which made it hard to get engrossed in. I made it half way through finally wondering if it was worth spending the time to finish. I started looking at reviews and realized from nearly every review (even the few good ones) that the story was not only NOT going to change or get better but instead get darker so I decided I have better ways to spend my time.

[Claudia · Rating 4 out of 5]

In addition to being humorous and heartbreaking, the novel captures the disorientation of a child trying to make sense of adult contradictions. The innocence of the narrator highlights the absurdity of post-war optimism while quietly revealing the scars beneath the surface. What struck me most was how the book critiques the relentless pursuit of the “good life” when that drive is rooted in pain rather than hope.

[Sarah · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to like this book more. The author is skillful at describing the inner world of a young girl in a wealthy but abusive household. Unfortunately the plot is slow and the book becomes a series of vignettes of growing up in Texas, which would be lovely, except for the unresolved aspects of the abuse and dysfunction.

[Lsirkin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book and highly recommend it. It is a well-written intimate portrait of a girl growing up in a difficult time and place, Texas several decades ago, but who is finely-attuned to what is going on around her and who greets her life with a joyous spirit. She’s curious and articulate, and Diane Desanders draws the reader in to her life and her world very skillfully.

[Suzan Jackson · Rating 4 out of 5]

1950's Dallas from the perspective of a little girl - at turns disturbing, funny, and hopeful.

Read my full review at Shelf Awareness:

http://www.shelf-awareness.com/reader...

[Suzen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Memories of a child's growing up in an affluent lifestyle with the family dysfunction. PtSD after WWII injuries. Parental relationships, loneliness, secrets, sexual abuse...reminds of Jeanette Walls writings.

[Tia · Rating 1 out of 5]

Repetitive.

[Tanet Higgins · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was not a fan of the book. I felt like the story really never happened. It was like reading the ramblings of an 8 yr old.

[Jessica Rose · Rating 2 out of 5]

Waffling and repetitive, this didn't really go anywhere and seemed to end incredibly suddenly without ever actually handling the fall-out of the main character being raped... What on Earth did I just read and why was it written?

[Kristen McDermott · Rating 3 out of 5]

Historical Novels Review 83 (February 2018):
The narrator of this dreamlike novel is an unnamed seven-year-old girl who simply wants to know what is true and what is not. In a family headed by a furious WWII veteran who has returned both maimed and traumatized, this is not a simple thing. How do you know you’re not talking to yourself, in bed, alone in the dark? she wonders, knowing that her parents lie, but not about what. Santa Claus? Jesus? Their love for each other? Stylistically, DeSanders achieves a heartbreaking, lyrical, and laser-focused evocation of a child’s perception of the mysteries of the adult world; the perfectly rendered setting is 1940s Dallas, just when its harsh rural beauties were becoming sanitized into suburban conformity. Plotwise, however, the novel is unsatisfying, not because of its fragmented sense of time, but because it relies too heavily on melodrama. The dreamlike tone becomes nightmarish, and the destruction of childhood innocence unfolds in depressingly predictable ways. To say more would be to spoil the shocks that DeSanders delivers—and they are grim—in the last third of the novel; the beauty of the writing nearly, but not quite, makes up for the way the story simply limps to a close after the family’s final tragic secrets are revealed.

[Jen · Rating 1 out of 5]

I hate to abandon books but this is just slow and boring and overdone. The unnamed narrator and Dick and Jane in the classic post-war American city doesn’t bother me. Lots of good books are set there. But these little vignettes just do nothing for me. When it’s a waste of limited reading time I have to kick it.