Rants in the Dark: From One Tired Mama to Another

by Emily Writes

Popular blogger Emily Writes gives words of encouragement to sleep-deprived parents everywhere.

With two small boys, both non-sleepers, Emily finds herself awake in the wee small hours night after night. Her writing is often done then, and she offers her own often hilarious and always heart-warming experiences to other exhausted parents. She describes the frustrations as well as the tender moments of real parenting, as opposed to what you thought it was going to be like, or what well-meaning advice-givers tell you it should be like.

A must-have for all new parents and parents-to-be.

Emily's blogs have been wildly popular, as have her on-line columns with New Zealand Woman's Weekly and The New Zealand Herald.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Memoir, Adult

288 pages, Paperback

Published February 27, 2017

About the author

Emily is a young mother of two pre-school boys. Her first blog post in March 2015 went viral, reaching more than one million people in a few days. Emily has been the parenting columnist for the New Zealand Herald and the New Zealand Woman’s Weekly and has also written for Metro magazine. She is currently editor of The Spinoff Parents. Emily founded and runs a not-for-profit/volunteer-run charity called Ballet is for Everyone, which provides free ballet lessons for children from low-income homes and children with disabilities and high health needs. She is a Plunket and Mother’s Network volunteer and an advocate for children’s and women’s rights. She also runs The Lighthouse events for mothers, and has a popular podcast called Dear Mamas. She lives in Wellington.

Reviews

[Simon Sweetman · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fantastic "n0 blame" / "no advice" collection of stories 'from one tired mama to another' - the parenting book you can read if you never have and maybe never wanted to read a parenting book. These posts - little missives, 4am help-calls and celebrations - are sad and joyous and proud and knowing and lovely. They are not patronising nor condescending. They are filled with the wisdom of observation, positioned only as the stories that have happened to one person, in one family. They are honest and real, sometimes a little heartbreaking, most often very funny. There's a strength in having these blog posts gathered too, in binding they support and enrich and strengthen one another, as is the idea around "community"; something Emily has built through her site and writings and her editing and selection in both this book and in her work at Spinoff Parents.

[Rochelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

This started off really great and funny but then I just kind of lost the connection to the book. I am sorry to say I have a baby that does sleep through the night so therefore I feel like there was that part I could not fully imagine - sure I have been awoken during the night by the devil baby but nothing compared to Emily's household!

[Lucy Hickman · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great read that doesn't paint parenting as coffee dates and perfect rooms. Written in a way you will relate to it makes for a perfect read for any parent. If you read only one parenting book read this one.

[Lauren · Rating 3 out of 5]

Really does what it says on the tin - literal rants. Would have been great if it had more of a narrative but an enjoyable read.

[Anna Bernard · Rating 2 out of 5]

As a new mum I was surprised to find I didn't relate all that much to this book. Some of the book is very well written, other parts I have found to be overly negative. I am struggling to finish this book, it feels very repetitive to read. There definitely are some things I relate to, some hilarious parts, and I can see how an over-tired parent could feel sympathy while reading this but overall this book is not for me.

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have to say this is the best non judgemental and advice free zoned book I have ever read.

some bits I read and thought yip definitely agree with.

there were others I didn't but everyone is allowed to have their opinion.

I am now going to check her blog regularly as I think she is amazing :)

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish Emily Writes had been around when mine were babies!

[Mandy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Emily Writes is a very funny writer. Her blog posts frequently make me laugh til I cry. I love her honesty about all aspects of parenting, and about life in general. I did laugh a great deal reading this - sniggering in bed, trying not to wake my husband, and relating hugely to the part about whether snoring is a mitigating factor in murder cases. But I found myself crying almost as often. The writing about having a sick baby, about parents coping with serious illness in their babies and children, the words recognising the tremendous pain of those who have lost babies before or after they've been born, made me sob not-so-quietly into my pillow. While I haven't experienced such loss, I have dear friends who have. And in loving my own children, I can fathom the pain and grief, and that imagining alone is almost unbearable. There can be no doubt that Emily Writes cares for the experiences of other mums, and her aim in writing this book is to say 'you're not alone, and you'll be ok.' I'd give her book 4.5 if I could.

[Chelsea Berry · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this after hearing Emily Writes talk with Hollie McNish as part of the Word Festival. To be fair, I was only there to fan girl over Hollie, but Emily won me over so I borrowed her book from the library as soon as I got home. My baby is currently 14 mths old and I read much of this book while feeding her. This was the best way to read it... You need a baby within arms reach at all times to give cuddles to while reading. Be ready to cry too... damn hormones! The only reason why I didn't give 5 stars is it is a little repetitive at times - which I guess is because it is a collection of blogs, and because parenting is repetitive. It is awesome to share in the authors passions and to know that you are not alone and be given a bit of a boost.

[Lucy · Rating 5 out of 5]

ALL OF IT. I RELATED TO ALLLLLL OF IT.

A brilliant collection of funny, tear jearking and practical treaties on parenting. I will buy a copy for all my new parent friends.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

If only this book had been around 11 years ago when the first of my two terrible sleepers was born. While this book make me laugh outloud on occasion the overall message is Choose Kind (Wonder). Be kind to new parents who may not parent the way you do but are doing the best they can to get through those months, or years if unlucky, of sleep deprivation. Choose kind and don't offer unwanted advice...but a copy of this book might just help that parent feel a little less alone when they are awake for hours during the night.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you're a parent, especially a new parent - read this book. It will give you reassurance and hope and a few laughs when you really need them. And take on board the vital, vital message that the best way to parent is the way that works for you and your family.

If you're going to be a parent - read this book. There's not a lot out there that can prepare you for being a parent. It's good to read an honest, unvarnished account of one mum's experiences of what a hard slog it can be. And you need to know that it's okay to just get through if you have one of those days that ends up being one of those weeks that ends up being one of those months. Because there are always the moments of pure joy. But it's sometimes a while between them.

If you're not a parent but have family/friends/acquaintances who are parents - read this book. And understand that being asked "Is your baby doing X yet?" is so stressful for us. Delete "yet" from your vocabulary when you're talking to (especially new) parents. Try "How's your baby doing?" That way, we can share the great stories without feeling like we're bad parents because our babies aren't sleeping/crawling/weaning/achieving whatever milestone by 0.5 months old. And above all, if you've never had kids don't share your "parenting advice". It's like you telling me you're an [insert job title here] and me telling you I saw a tv documentary about that once, and based on that amount of experience let me tell you about the best way to do your job. No, really. That's exactly what it's like. Don't argue with me; it's nearly 4am (ironic, given that theme in the book) and I haven't been to sleep yet.

Such a good read. You're doing great, mama.

[Sarah McMullan · Rating 2 out of 5]

I bought this as a gift for a friend who is having a baby soon but decided not to give it to her.

She’s an older Mum and this is a very young, ranty, "everyone has it in for Mums" kind of read...

(And while l get the rant thing is a) in the title b) the authors schtick, it's an immature writing technique that grows old fast. Swearing is not a substitute for humor.)

Very modern Mummy Blog. Meh.



Revised Rating: April 10 2019 - 2 Stars

[Kelvin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't think I'm the target audience, but this still spoke to my experiences as a father. Sweet, thoughtful and occasionally thoroughly hilarious.

5 stars because I think everyone should read it, even if kids are not in your future, or they are well in your past ...

[J · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is excellent for parents and non parents. Emily's writing is beautiful, heartfelt and funny. Basically everyone needs to read it.

[Jenny · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can’t even begin to explain what this book meant to me. I laughed I cried. She just gets it!

[Duchesne Markham · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very funny and was great to pick up and read sporadically. The perfect gift for new parents!

[Jennifer Walton · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm sure I would have appreciated this book more when my kids were babies/toddlers. Had a few giggles early on but found the rants became quite repetitive.

[Vee · Rating 3 out of 5]

Genuinely made me laugh and I related a lot to the rants about sleep deprivation, but I didn’t experience nearly the level of judgment she seems to have in other areas like breastfeeding/formula feeding or views, particularly from older generations, on modern parenting. I could enjoy these rants from a perspective of humor but I couldn’t really relate. It was an enjoyable read (the bit about sleep regressions had me in stitches) but became rather repetitive towards the end. I did become drawn in to her depiction of her family and when I finished I realized it was written before COVID. I hope the writer and her family made it through that insanity unscathed and are all healthy and doing well.

[Theresa · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book surprised me I thought as my baby days are 11 years ago it wouldn't be useful for me but Emily's humour as well as poignant capturing of the visceral tough parts of sleep deprivation and learning the art of mothering was captivating, sunny, and touching. I enjoyed it a lot & recommend it!

[Barnaby Haszard · Rating 4 out of 5]

Realistic about the trials of parenthood, and mocking of those who seek to mould parents and children to the ridiculous ideas they have in their head -- but sweetly earnest about the value of having and raising kids. Emily has it the right way up: she pours scorn on idiotic notions and champions a complex, ultimately optimistic view of society. I am grateful for her, and for this book.

[Karrah Xeros · Rating 5 out of 5]

Engaging, honest, and so, so funny! Rants in the Dark is a collection of real thoughts from an awesome, but sleep-deprived mumma just trying to do her best. Whether you are a parent or not, I guarantee she will make you laugh, smile, and cringe at the whirlwind that is having little children (and keeping them and yourself alive). Endlessly entertaining and genuine!

[Talia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this read so much, would recommend to any mum

[Klee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every new mum should read this. Full stop.

[Meg · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I had read this book when my daughter was an infant. I think it would have made me a better, more confident mother. Reading this felt healing, and I recommend it to all the parents I know.

[Alice Dowden · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really liked the bite sized delivery of the pieces. Perfect for a mother with no time.

I like her philosophy of motherhood.
She’s my type of chick.

[Ashley Marshall · Rating 5 out of 5]

She’s my people. I’d be her mom friend. This is the book about parenting that every parent should read. She was everything I hope to be, empathetic friend/mom.

[Jasmine · Rating 5 out of 5]

The warm hug every mum needs. One of those hugs that makes you feel understood and safe, that makes you cry sad tears, cry happy tears, laugh and cry happy tears again!

[Caryn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Solid 5 star read. An absolute delight to read, equal parts funny and deeply moving. It put into words many of my own feelings about parenting.

[Melissa Murdoch · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing, hilarious, thoughtful and so so very relatable