The Day Leo Said I Hate You!

by Robie H. Harris, Molly Bang (Illustrator)

In a reassuring manner, Robie H. Harris and Molly Bang portray what happens when a little boy feels SO frustrated and SO mad at a parent who has said NO all day long. In this family book about what it feels like to say--and hear--those other three words, Harris and Bang delicately navigate the most profound bonds between a parent and a child.

Genres: Picture Books, Childrens, Emotion, Fiction, Love, Family, Storytime

40 pages, Hardcover

First published September 1, 2008

About the author

Robie H. Harris has written many award-winning books for children of all ages, including the definitive Family Library about sexuality: IT'S PERFECTLY NORMAL, IT'S SO AMAZING!, and IT'S NOT THE STORK! She lives in Massachusetts.

Reviews

[Roxanne Hsu Feldman · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is definitely a book with a LOUD MESSAGE -- but it is handled so realistically, so well, and the emotions rising and falling are so classic that the whole thing just "works!" I love Bang's use of the three toy animals in reflecting how the readers might react to the unfolding scenes and Leo's words. I definitely went into the book with apprehension, afraid that it would be preachy and too squishy -- but, instead, I feel like someone really understands the dynamics and being a mom that sometimes has to deal with the rage of a child, I also feel a close connection to the book from the "other end" of the story.

[Tasha · Rating 5 out of 5]

Pair the storytelling skill of Harris with the illustrations of Bang and you really can't go wrong! Leo is not having a good day. Each thing he does, his mother seems to be right there telling him, NO! Finally, Leo has had enough and storms off to his room. When he gets there, he draws a mean picture of his mother on his bedroom wall. His mother comes in and tells him NO! Leo is so very very angry that he shouts with all of his might I HATE YOU! at his mother. Though he doesn't mean it all at, he now has to deal with the fact he has said something so awful to his mother.

Anger is such an important thing for children to understand: their own anger, how their words and actions effect others, and appropriate ways to express their feelings. Harris captures the inner turmoil of an angry child perfectly without extra drama added in. The writing is clear, concise and very emotional. The writing that follows Leo's outburst is warm, calming and filled with an understanding for what just happened. It is the ideal contrast to the heat and speed of what happens, allowing readers to ride that emotional rollercoaster with Leo.

Bang's illustrations capture the mood of the text as it moves from frenetic emotion to calm. Colors move from oranges through to deep purple and reds and resolve with bright yellows and deep blues. Beautifully done in her collage style, Bang captures a mother and son who could be of almost any ethnicity.

Highly recommended, this picture book should be paired with Mean Soup by Betsy Everitt and When Sophie Gets Angry -- Really, Really Angry by Molly Bang for a real emotional set of stories! Appropriate for ages 3-6.

[Jennifer Wardrip · Rating 3 out of 5]

Reviewed by Julie M. Prince for Kids @ TeensReadToo.com

Leo is so tired of Mommy's NOs that he retreats to his room just to be in a no NO zone. He quickly finds that there's no such thing when Mommy walks in and tosses yet another NO Leo's way. This is when Leo decides to throw his own verbal weapon at Mommy.

This is a book all kids can relate to, as it puts anger, temper, fear, and doubt on display. Facing off with overwhelming emotion can be a challenge, and it's comforting for kids to know that others find the struggle just as difficult.

The illustrations, which blend paper cutouts and photographs, are just as kid-friendly as the text. They include lots of movement and color to liven things up. Simple line meets rich texture on each page and words are uniquely highlighted throughout the book.

This is a book that will stay on my shelf for a lot of re-reading and enjoyment.

[Kate Hastings · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every parent dreads the day their kids says the "H" word. I thought this would be a really great book for sharing with a children who use this word a lot. It really shows how emotionally charged the word is.

[Josiah · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a good, warm story that gently teaches a lesson in caring for the feelings of others. It has something to say to readers of all ages.

[Steph · Rating 5 out of 5]

Leo lost his damn mind! You know Leo doesn't come from a Chicano family. Any mother from the 70s or 80s would have slapped the you-know-what outta Leo.
Love this books tho.

[Kris Daise · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read with lots of emotion! My kids are intrigued by Leo.

[Kallie Scott · Rating 5 out of 5]

"The Day Leo Said I Hate You" is a book about a little boy who is constantly being told no by his mother. Leo eventually grows tired of being told no over and over again in the same day, this turns into a very bad situation for Leo. Even though all of the things that Leo is doing deserved to be told no, he doesn't understand and he eventually tells his mother he hates her. After this is said, Leo feels terrible and gets a life lesson that telling someone you hate them is never okay even though it's sometimes okay to say "I hate broccoli" or "I hate runny noses". In the end, Leo apologizes and ends up loving on his mother.

The major theme of this story is lesson learning. Leo learns his lesson by understanding how bad it is to tell someone you hate them and that certain things are just not allowed to be done and that is why being told no is appropriate.

My personal response to the text was that this book is very relatable to real life situations. Children always say things that they don't mean and it is a part of life for them to learn what is allowed to be said and what isn't.

I recommend this book because children will always say things that are hurtful, bad or mean. This book teaches children that some things you just can't say to people and that you must listen to adults when they tell you to do something. If a child were to read this book, they could easily relate it back to their own life and want to avoid the situations that cause them to be in trouble.

[Leslie Brevard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Different Culture
The Day Leo Said I HATE YOU
5 stars
Kindergarten- 2nd grade
When you first open the book the end pages are colored in red and there is a picture of an angry boy on the right side but at the end of the book the end pages are purple with a happy girl on the left side. Bang is showing that by the end of the book no one is mad anymore. In the pictures there are some very bold colors and bold statements. Bang uses good reasons why the mother would be saying no to the boy and I think that many of the children can relate to the story because there are many times that parents are going to say no. Bang emphasis on the word no through the story either it is written very large or with a bold color. This shows that no is an important word and Bang, in the story does explain why parents sometimes have to say no to their children which helps children to understand that parents don’t say no to just be mean.
Language Arts/ Mathematics
A lesson plan that could go along with this book could include something like asking the children to see how many times they hear no during the day and why no was said. Another lesson plan could be; think of a time someone said no to you and how did it make you feel angry, sad? They could illustrate the writing and the teacher could put them up in the classroom.

[Shaquita · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wouldn’t you hate it if all you heard was no this and no that all day; well that is exactly, how Leo felt. His mother was constantly telling him and he would tell her that he hated “no.” Then one day Leo had gotten yelled for writing on his wall. His mother was furious and told Leo, “no, Leo you do not mark on walls.” Then Leo yelled back at his mother, “I hate you!” But Leo thought for a minute and wished he could take back what he had said; because he could see that it had really hurt his mother. I just love the illustrations in this book. I love how Molly Bang uses her words as the story's illustrations, as well as, make the characters' facial expression seem so real. This is a good for teaching children that they are going to experience some "no's" in their lives and there are right and wrong ways to express those feelings to the “no’s.” Children also learn how to be forgiving and accepting of others’ feelings.

Learning Experience: At the beginning of the school year, as well as, throughout the school year we will practice our classroom rules. One of the classroom rules will be “use kind words.” The children will also be informed of my expectations of them each and everyday. So at the beginning of everyday we will sing a song that ensures the children understand what is expected.

[Liesl · Rating 4 out of 5]

Leo is having trouble behaving as his mother would like, and she keeps saying, “No!” He hates it when she says that. He finally stomps of to his room, “where nobody can say NO!” (Harris, 2008, unpaged). When Mommy finds him drawing an angry picture of her on the wall and says no again, Leo is enraged. He tries to send her away, and when she explains that she occasionally does have to say no, Leo shouts, “I HATE YOU!” at Mommy (Harris, 2008, unpaged). They discuss how hurtful that is, and talk about things they do hate, and talk about how much they love each other. In the end, Lea draws a nice picture of Mommy on paper for her.

Molly Bang’s illustrations are unusual because she uses pictures of real objects in the collages, mixed with paint and what looks like crayon. Leo’s socks have striped knit, his pants multiple colors, and a sheepskin rug is on the floor. The text is both colorful and varied--red and sometimes illustrated to show Leo’s frustration. Faces are drawn with crayon to show expressions, and Leo breathes flames with unkind words.

I think this book would be great for kids three and up. Little people have big feelings, and this book shows that talking through feelings helps.

[Madeline Collins · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very touching story about a little boy named Leo learning lessons. He gets extremely frustrated when his mommy tells him no, he cannot do certain things. He ends up getting so angry that he screams he hates his mommy! He immediately regrets saying it and feels really guilty. In the end everything turns out okay and all is forgiven.

I loved this story because I felt like I could relate to it a lot. I have said a lot of hurtful things not just to my parents, but to other people too, that I really regretted. Much like Leo, I wish I could stuff those words back in my mouth. I think this is a beautiful story about getting frustrated and yet still receiving grace.

This would be a great book to use in the classroom to reach kids who may have anger issues or just kids in general. Kids are in the stage of life where they are learning what is right and wrong so this book is so good for them to see and realize that everyone messes up. You could teach a whole lesson over this book and over the topic of grace. You could even have your students write love letters to their parents that day. It really is a beautiful thing that even when we mess up or say the wrong thing, our parents still love us so much.

[Kasey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Robie Harris’ The Day Leo Said I Hate You! clearly depicts the emotional rollercoaster of being a young child and that of being a parent. Leo has been misbehaving all day and is frustrated with all of the ‘no’s’ he is hearing from his mommy. His mommy is also frustrated with all of the trouble that Leo is getting into. All of this frustration erupts with Leo shouting those three terrible words that no parent ever wants to hear. Immediately he wishes he hadn’t said them and compares it to Mommy saying she hates broccoli. Mommy then gently sits down with Leo and calmly explains that people can hate things like broccoli, but that hating people can really hurt others feelings. The ending is sweet and ties up the lesson of the book. I think that this would be an excellent book to read to young children because it covers everything from anger and strong emotions to hurtful words and resolutions. (ages 5-8)

[Scott Volz · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Day Leo Said I Hate You, written by Robie Harris and illustrated by Molly Bang, relates the conflict that develops between parent and child when a child misbehaves and pushes boundaries. The book also focuses on the repercussions of using hurtful words, ultimately reinforcing the unconditional love between a mother and her child.

Bang's illustrations, which look to me to be an interesting combination of photographic/digital imaging and cartoon, do a nice job of complementing the story. As the "NOs!" from Leo's mom add up, the book's text gets more pervasive and the color palettes shifts from being dominated by shades of purple to shades to red--culminating in Leo's explosion of "I Hate You!" Leo's stuffed animals also react to the shifts in situation, which offers a subtle amusement.

Overall, I liked the book--but I was a bit underwhelmed by the story. It didn't really offer much in nuance or surprise. I just felt like Harris could have done a bit more with the idea.

[Kathleen Lance]

The book, "The Day Leo said I Hate You," is a story about a little boy and his mother. The boy, Leo, was tired of his mother telling him "NO" all of the time. The story tells about how the mom would stop Leo from doing things that were dangerous for him or damaging to their house.

I personally really enjoyed this book. I loved the message it gave and I think children would be able to understand the book very easily. The only thing I didn't like about the book was the illustrations. The were kind of messy in my opinion, but I did like their bright colors.

This book would be good to use in a classroom if a teacher is trying to teach her students about the importance of words. Once you say something, you can't take it back, no matter how bad you'd like to.

[eRin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Leo is so tired of mommy saying no. No rolling tomatoes across the floor. No dropping string beans in the fishbowl. No no no. Leo is so mad that he storms off to his room and declares it a "no-free" zone. But then mommy tells him no again and he can't take it anymore and yells: "I hate you." To mommy. And now he's worried because he knows it's a horrible thing to say. What will mommy do?

Great story and wonderful illustrations. The only thing that slightly bothered me is that mommy tells Leo that it's okay to say that you hate broccoli and other things, just not people. Well, in my house growing up we weren't allowed to hate ANYTHING. And I think that's a better way to go.

[The Library Lady · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm really surprised at Robie Harris and Molly Bang for not getting that it's OKAY for kids to say "I hate you!"
As a matter of fact, if a child DOES say it to a parent, it tends to show that they're secure in their parent's love--would they say it to anyone they weren't SURE would love them no matter what?

I'm surprised, and I'm disappointed. Because the mom's reaction of anger to the words is exactly what YOU don't do.

My reply to my girls has usually been "That's okay. I don't like you either right now. But I LOVE you."

And I wish that had been how it was handled here instead of turned the word "HATE" into the "H" word.

[Chantee Jordan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I chose The Day Leo Said I Hate You! as my read aloud choice of course because of the bright pictures. The front cover is what caught my eye then the story within kept my interest. Parents and children alike can relate the subject as both get to the point where they no longer want to be bothered and tend to say hurtful things. Children will learn empathy and will know that some things are not acceptable to say to people. I also appreciated the book because the characters, although ethnicity is not specified, appear to be that of a minority group, therefore children will be presented with characters that look differently or the same as them.

[Alice · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.75 stars My mom told me to never say "Hate" or "Kill" or "Pooped" For that matter. I think she said Heck once...or a hell to quote my dad...

When he says I hate you! to his mom...the book explodes! It felt like a very dramatic moment that I have rarely found in a book. It was bold and mean, and you could feel this boys rage. He meant when he said it!

.....and then

The Remorse!
It goes full circle! I think this is a great parent/child book. It tackles anger, and ends with some humor and most importantly LOVE!

[Molly Campbell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Leo hates being told no. One day, he is constantly being told "no" by his mother. When she catches him drawing on the wall, he tells his mother that he hates her. This story addresses what happens after Leo tells his mother he hates her.

I thought the author did a great job showing what happens when a child gets upset. I thought this book was very realistic and approaches a touchy subject in a good way.

This book would be great to use in a kindergarten classroom. It would be great when talking about how to use our words wisely and how what we say impacts people.

[Tanika · Rating 5 out of 5]

This story is about a mother and a son. The mother is always telling the son, ”NO……! The son got tired of his mom saying NO so he said, “I hate you”. He didn’t know what these words meant so she had to explain it to him. The story teaches children that sometimes we might feel angry and might have outburst. We have to explain that some outbursts might be hurtful so we should not say certain things about people.

[Nina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Misbehaving Leo can't stand the word no. But, his mother continues to say 'no' to everything he does. His anger is out of control when he hears the final no and yells 'I hate you' at his frustrated mom. The story is well sequenced and the collage images are well suited for the chaos of a boy misbehaving and emotions running a muck. The moral is clear and made obvious. 'I hate you' should not be said to someone you love.

[Robin Raines-Bond · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow! The explosion of color and emotion this book puts out there packs a punch. You can tell that this child is really frustrated and angry, but the minute those dreaded words come out of his mouth he is immediately remorseful. I like the way the Mom handles his outburst by telling how it makes her feel and then helping him resolve his emotion in a loving humorous way. Leo is reassured that his Mom will always love him.

[Steph · Rating 3 out of 5]

While it was not one of my favorites that we have had to read for Children's Lit, this book would definitely appeal to younger kids. The art (photorealistic toys, paper cutout characters) was fun, but the message seemed rushed. It felt like a missed opportunity to expound upon the concept that your words really can hurt, and it seemed they jumped too quickly to discussing what they mutually hated. The lines and color schemes were clever, but yeah, I'd pass on this in my personal library.

[Kayla Spires · Rating 4 out of 5]

Leo is tired of being told no and is overcome with anger. Collaged bold images reiterate the tension between his mother and himself as he storms off to his room where "nobody can say no!" However, by proceeding to color on the wall he is told no again, and his reaction is to say "I hate you!" The story teaches about how hurtful those words can be when used towards someone else. Ends in heartwarming mother-son love.

[Terry]

I did not like this book. Leo not only behaves badly, but he also does not get punished for saying mean things and disobeying. He might feel bad but there were no consequences at the end of the story.

To read the rest of our thoughts on this book go to the Reading Tub.

[babyhippoface · Rating 3 out of 5]

Your basic, average kid gets mad when he or she doesn't get his or her own way. It's the way we're made. This would be terrific to share with your child when those forbidden words slip out. It would also be good to read to kids who are dealing with serious anger issues, as a lead-in to deeper discussion.

[Ruth Ann · Rating 4 out of 5]

Leo is frustrated because throughout the day his mother keeps telling him, "NO!" Without really meaning to, Leo yells, "I hate you". The story tenderly shows the resolution of the conflict and conveys the message that parents always love their children but also raises awareness that words can hurt.

[Teri · Rating 2 out of 5]

I got this book on a recommendation, and we sure don't like it at my house. The whole book is full of things the little boy and his mom "hate." The idea of someone feeling bad because you say "I hate you" is lost in all the "I hates." Now my 3-year old is saying "I hate. . ." Definitely thumbs down.

[Tanya Wadley · Rating 2 out of 5]

I agree with my friend Teri's review... some books like this actually give kids ideas of how to behave badly... I cringe in a lot of books (I love the book , I Love You Forever , but I cringe when the child throws a watch in the toilet... I always think that's going to give my little ones "bright" ideas that will make my life more stressful than it already is.