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Ask Polly's Guide to Your Next Crisis
“Every crisis has a message for you, if you look for it. Every crisis carries with it some kind of a gift that will make you feel more whole.” From beloved advice-columnist Heather Havrilesky comes a new collection of treasured questions and answers for those of us who have a crisis looming, who are still looking to find our joy, and who are hiding from injustice and doubt. Why doesn’t anything feel fun? Am I too anxious to ever find love? Why won’t my former friends forgive me? And, why should I keep going? To all of these questions and more, Havrilesky offers her customary wit, grace, candor, and wisdom. These are the pep talks we all need to hear to lay our egos aside and draw on the strengths we didn’t know we had. A Vintage Shorts original. An ebook short.
93 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 13, 2017
60 people are currently reading
514 people want to read
About the author
Heather Havrilesky
13 books510 followersHeather Havrilesky writes the popular Ask Polly advice column on Substack and is the author of What If This Were Enough?, How to Be a Person in the World, and Disaster Preparedness. She has written for the New Yorker, the Atlantic, the New York Times Magazine, and NPR’s All Things Considered, among others, and also maintains the Ask Molly newsletter, written by Polly’s evil twin. She lives in Durham, North Carolina, with her husband, two daughters, and two dogs.
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
December 19, 2018
“Every crisis has a message for you, if you look for it. Every crisis carries with it some kind of a gift that will make you feel more whole.”
Solid advice but unfortunately not every *book* carries a message that will make you feel more whole. Ask Polly made me feel more…half. I'll explain.
On one hand, it’s a quick and fun read and is written in straightforward, colorful language, which I greatly appreciate. Havrilesky pulls no punches in her responses. She's direct, no BS, and delivers the swift kick in the pants many of her advice seekers need. She avoids censoring herself in order to please all audiences. But who is the audience and how much risk is she taking with her hard hitting advice? That's where it falls apart for me.
The audience feels very specific and lacks the kind of diversity that would show us how adept the author might be at navigating more complex, unfamiliar issues rather than the two that repeat themselves to the point where it feels repetitive and *yawn* a little boring.
Theme #1: Dear Polly, I feel sure my boyfriend is Mr Right but he's (fill in the blank here with the usual: unfaithful, lazy, not a nice person, blah, blah, blah). How can I convince him he should stop running away and start acting like the Prince Charming I just *know* he is underneath his crappy exterior.
Theme #2: Dear Polly, I'm feeling bored and dissatisfied with my career so I half-ass it/quit/went on a year long sabbatical to India to find myself. (Or something to that effect.)
Initially I was dumbfounded that Havrilesky’s editor must never have written a terse little note in the margins of her manuscript: “I'm bored and ready to pluck my own eyes out so I needn't continue slogging through the endless whining here. Can't we switch things up a smidgen?” But then I realized the two aforementioned themes ARE the burning concerns for most white, upper middle-class, heterosexual woman between the ages of, say, 20-50. If you fall into that group, this book may speak to you.
But if you're like me and meet either some or none of the criteria, you'll be left feeling disconnected to the content. It feels too easy to advise only those who are (mostly or completely) like us and it felt both disappointing and annoying that the author chose not to step outside her comfort zone. Too bad because the book could have been more interesting and impactful with the inclusion of a few different voices.
Solid advice but unfortunately not every *book* carries a message that will make you feel more whole. Ask Polly made me feel more…half. I'll explain.
On one hand, it’s a quick and fun read and is written in straightforward, colorful language, which I greatly appreciate. Havrilesky pulls no punches in her responses. She's direct, no BS, and delivers the swift kick in the pants many of her advice seekers need. She avoids censoring herself in order to please all audiences. But who is the audience and how much risk is she taking with her hard hitting advice? That's where it falls apart for me.
The audience feels very specific and lacks the kind of diversity that would show us how adept the author might be at navigating more complex, unfamiliar issues rather than the two that repeat themselves to the point where it feels repetitive and *yawn* a little boring.
Theme #1: Dear Polly, I feel sure my boyfriend is Mr Right but he's (fill in the blank here with the usual: unfaithful, lazy, not a nice person, blah, blah, blah). How can I convince him he should stop running away and start acting like the Prince Charming I just *know* he is underneath his crappy exterior.
Theme #2: Dear Polly, I'm feeling bored and dissatisfied with my career so I half-ass it/quit/went on a year long sabbatical to India to find myself. (Or something to that effect.)
Initially I was dumbfounded that Havrilesky’s editor must never have written a terse little note in the margins of her manuscript: “I'm bored and ready to pluck my own eyes out so I needn't continue slogging through the endless whining here. Can't we switch things up a smidgen?” But then I realized the two aforementioned themes ARE the burning concerns for most white, upper middle-class, heterosexual woman between the ages of, say, 20-50. If you fall into that group, this book may speak to you.
But if you're like me and meet either some or none of the criteria, you'll be left feeling disconnected to the content. It feels too easy to advise only those who are (mostly or completely) like us and it felt both disappointing and annoying that the author chose not to step outside her comfort zone. Too bad because the book could have been more interesting and impactful with the inclusion of a few different voices.
Want to read
November 14, 2018Just wonderful. I've been obsessed with advice columns since I was 10, and this was exactly what I needed.
February 8, 2021
'Ask Polly's Guide to Your Next Crisis' by Heather Havrilesky is a collection of questions and brutally honest answers for a modern age.
The questions mainly focus on love, but there are also question about continuing writing and one even question continuing living. Polly answers frankly and in very frank language. She's the kind of voice you wish your best friend had (or perhaps does, if you're so lucky). The answers are not always what the questioner wants, but the advice feels solid and heartfelt, or even gut-felt, if that's a thing.
The situations we get ourselves in to can be complicated by tunnel vision and our own skewed view of what is happening. It's good to know there is someone willing to be frank, especially in some of the more dire cases in this book.
I received a review copy of this ebook from Vintage, Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group, and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you for allowing me to review this ebook.
The questions mainly focus on love, but there are also question about continuing writing and one even question continuing living. Polly answers frankly and in very frank language. She's the kind of voice you wish your best friend had (or perhaps does, if you're so lucky). The answers are not always what the questioner wants, but the advice feels solid and heartfelt, or even gut-felt, if that's a thing.
The situations we get ourselves in to can be complicated by tunnel vision and our own skewed view of what is happening. It's good to know there is someone willing to be frank, especially in some of the more dire cases in this book.
I received a review copy of this ebook from Vintage, Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group, and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you for allowing me to review this ebook.
July 17, 2017
read this on a plane from mexico city to lima and idk what it is about heather havrilesky's writing that soothes me, but it does and i always feel a little better after reading her words.
February 10, 2017
Heather Havrilesky has a way of seeing truth. She may wind and swoop her way to revealing it, but she is magical and her words will guide you.
If you are a fan of Ask Polly already, there is nothing here that you haven't already read.
But it is all still beautiful, glorious, and real.
Thanks to Netgalley for the read.
If you are a fan of Ask Polly already, there is nothing here that you haven't already read.
But it is all still beautiful, glorious, and real.
Thanks to Netgalley for the read.
September 30, 2017
You know a book speaks to you when you send excerpts via weirdly-lit photos and weirdly-cropped screenshots to the people who matter most to you. This is one of the very best.
June 3, 2020
The kind of advice I needed to hear right now! This was both a helpful and entertaining read.
September 5, 2022
4.25/5
April 20, 2024
A smaller, less varied collection of advice columns compared to her other Ask Polly book, but still a worthy read.
April 23, 2025
i’ll eat up anything Heather Havrilesky writes
December 17, 2017
A bit more amusing than the other Ask Polly book I read. Good advice about being an honorable person in a dishonorable world.
March 1, 2019
Real advice for real people
I've read a few self-help type books recently, and Heather Havrilesky's is my favorite so far. It feels real and tangible and actionable.
I've read a few self-help type books recently, and Heather Havrilesky's is my favorite so far. It feels real and tangible and actionable.
April 4, 2020
Advice goddess.
Always a pleasure. Heather has a way of translating our troubles into actionable challenges and showing us the path unseen.
Always a pleasure. Heather has a way of translating our troubles into actionable challenges and showing us the path unseen.
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews