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The Secret Lives of Men: What Men Want You to Know About Love, Sex, and Relationships
For centuries women have been trying to put into words what perplexes them most about men. However, the inner world of the male's psyche continues to succeed in outwitting women, and The Secret Lives of Men is the long-awaited antidote that unravels the mysteries that keep women from enjoying true connection and authentic relationships with the men in their lives, whether they be husbands, partners, sons, fathers, or friends. In this provocative and pivotal book, male psychology expert, researcher, and professor, Christopher Blazina, Ph.D., contends that contrary to popular belief, men really do want to be understood, not cast aside as unemotional, backward thinking, desensitized, or 'clueless'-and they desire to connect with others. With unbiased compassion and true understanding of the needs of both men and women, Dr. Blazina offers techniques and prescriptions for navigating the emotional, physical, and intellectual realms of the male psyche at all stages of his life. Through The Secret Lives of Men you Discover the 'Ten Commandments of Growing Up Male' Learn about the secret shoebox and how to get him to unlock this 'holy of holies' Have a better sex life and get on the same page about what feels hot and what does not Identify the 'proper,' effective ways to give feedback to a man Avoid the major relationship landmines and let healthy conflict deepen relationships Men have secret lives, and they are complex and multidimensional. The Secret Lives of Men serves as a bridge between you and the men you want to know and understand.
384 pages, Paperback
First published September 1, 2008
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
March 14, 2009
Opening Doors to the Male Psyche
Christopher Blazina is not only an expert on the topic of male psychology ("The Cultural Myth of Masculinity"), but he also is a fine communicator on the written page. This book, THE SECRET LIVES OF MEN: What Men Want You to Know About Love, Sex, and Relationships', is not the usual self-help book that increasing crowds the shelves of bookstores: this is a book intended for a broader audience, that audience including everyone who needs to understand the 'male mentality' - boys, students, men caught in a line of unsuccessful relationships, women who fail to understand the 'male approach to intimacy', couples struggling with seemingly irreconcilable differences, psychologists, social workers, and the curious reader.
Where Blazina succeeds is where so many other authors stumble: Blazina writes in a conversational manner, keeping his information and data very centered in current time, and offers not only valuable insights but also drives his points of explanation home with a very useful series of Chapter Cues that keep the reader aligned with his step by step pattern of 'enlightenment'.
Captured in this book are Blazina's 'Ten Commandments of Growing Up Male', a section that lays the matrix for his further chapters on understanding the privacy of men's 'secret shoebox' of intimate feelings and thoughts, methods of learned (and an offer to re-learn) communication that leads to a more satisfying sex life, raising sons to be free from the extraneous prejudice of manhood, how men cope with the inevitable 'curse' of aging, and how to nurture men who are growing out of the confines of 'inherited' macho delusions.
Blazina takes major steps forward from the usual prejudices and impressions and instead concentrates on offering ways in which both men and women, children and adults, can better understand the male mind. This all may sound a bit like a rerun of 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus', but the good Dr. Blazina is far better an instructor and has more in depth of knowledge that is focused on dealing with understanding and resolution rather than mere labeling. He simply writes very well, and he obviously cares about sharing his experience in his chosen field with an audience very much in need of his insights.
Grady Harp
Christopher Blazina is not only an expert on the topic of male psychology ("The Cultural Myth of Masculinity"), but he also is a fine communicator on the written page. This book, THE SECRET LIVES OF MEN: What Men Want You to Know About Love, Sex, and Relationships', is not the usual self-help book that increasing crowds the shelves of bookstores: this is a book intended for a broader audience, that audience including everyone who needs to understand the 'male mentality' - boys, students, men caught in a line of unsuccessful relationships, women who fail to understand the 'male approach to intimacy', couples struggling with seemingly irreconcilable differences, psychologists, social workers, and the curious reader.
Where Blazina succeeds is where so many other authors stumble: Blazina writes in a conversational manner, keeping his information and data very centered in current time, and offers not only valuable insights but also drives his points of explanation home with a very useful series of Chapter Cues that keep the reader aligned with his step by step pattern of 'enlightenment'.
Captured in this book are Blazina's 'Ten Commandments of Growing Up Male', a section that lays the matrix for his further chapters on understanding the privacy of men's 'secret shoebox' of intimate feelings and thoughts, methods of learned (and an offer to re-learn) communication that leads to a more satisfying sex life, raising sons to be free from the extraneous prejudice of manhood, how men cope with the inevitable 'curse' of aging, and how to nurture men who are growing out of the confines of 'inherited' macho delusions.
Blazina takes major steps forward from the usual prejudices and impressions and instead concentrates on offering ways in which both men and women, children and adults, can better understand the male mind. This all may sound a bit like a rerun of 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus', but the good Dr. Blazina is far better an instructor and has more in depth of knowledge that is focused on dealing with understanding and resolution rather than mere labeling. He simply writes very well, and he obviously cares about sharing his experience in his chosen field with an audience very much in need of his insights.
Grady Harp
June 9, 2012
I'm giving up on this one. I've been trying to read it off and on for a few months now. What the author has to say is valuable, but...oy. The writing style reminds me of students who have to write a 10-page paper but only have 5 pages' worth of things to say. It's very redundant & dry. A good editing would go a long way. *sigh*
Instead, I would recommend checking out what the people at www.understandmen.com have to say. The PAX workshops are expensive but totally worth it, and there are now some programs on CD, DVD, and even in book format.
Instead, I would recommend checking out what the people at www.understandmen.com have to say. The PAX workshops are expensive but totally worth it, and there are now some programs on CD, DVD, and even in book format.
April 5, 2009
Very much like a phsychology text book. Helpful for anyone that wants to help a male friend, son, or partner become more emotionally balanced and live a more full, complete life. Spends a lot of time dealing with male stereotypes, caled the "Ten Commandments of growing up male", and how they affect many male lives. Deals with how to be empathetic, how to be a "guardian", how to deal with male vulnerabilities, and how to provide feedback to help males, or anyone really, fulfill their true potential.
August 22, 2011
Just checked this out. Thought I'd better so some research since I'm failing miserably at finding a man that doesn't get on my last nerve. I'll let you know if it is enlightening or obvious crap we already know.
September 2, 2011
I'm just as lost as ever.
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews