Parent Deleted

by Michelle Darne

An acclaimed spokesperson for equality at the helm of And Baby, a pioneer magazine, radio show, and TV series on alternative parenting, Michelle Darne found herself at once callously erased from the lives of her children and silenced by the law. Parent Deleted is a gripping tale of one non-biological, lesbian mother's fight for her children--an intimate, infuriating, and infectious story of perseverance, sacrifice, and hope in the face of debilitating adversity. And it is a courageous, disturbing, and necessary expose of a likely emergent social justice frontier: the rights of all children to be with their parents, whether they are biologically linked, straight, gay, prepared or knocked up, perfect spouses or fallible ones.

Genres: LGBT, Nonfiction, Memoir

252 pages, Paperback

Published January 1, 2017

Reviews

[Lisa Thomson · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you have suffered from Parental Alienation, you may find Michelle's story of interest. She is courageous in sharing her story of her marital breakdown and eventual alienation as a parent of twin daughters. It is heartbreaking. It is hard to read at times. There were moments I was angry at her ex, angry at her and frustrated with the system. Here's the thing though, the legal system is not designed to cater to special circumstances of our families. KNOW that before you enter into a custodial dispute. Michelle had no choice and actually took action to gain a civilized divorce agreement that dealt with a parenting schedule. Unfortunately, the lawyers really dropped the ball when they didn't follow through to ensure Michelle's ex actually filed her signed copy. But that was only the beginning of many legal faux pas.

There are many lessons to be gleaned from this memoir. Besides that, it is well written and a profoundly emotional journey.

I do wish the ending had been more conclusive as far as explaining the final scenario with Michelle's ex, her work, her living situation and especially the legal status of her divorce in general. It is clear that she fought tooth and nail for her limited parenting rights which remain intact. But I just feel there were some loose ends. Of course life isn't neat and tidy is it?

I also would like to mention that Michelle being a 'brown' (as she refers to herself) lesbian, felt that she had been terribly treated in a legal system designed for moms. However, here is where I have to disagree. The legal system is not friendly to any family regardless of skin color, parenting gender or sexual orientation. It has laws and regulations that it will uphold regardless of our personal excuses and stories. It's our lawyer's job to best represent our stories and excuses to sway a judge in our favor but it doesn't always happen. Period.

I'm happy for Michelle in that she is enjoying some time with her daughters and she is definitely a mother who gives unconditional love to her girls. What more could a child ask for? I do apologize for the length of this review. I did not reveal spoilers though.

[Sarah · Rating 2 out of 5]

Fully a third of the way through the book, what we hear about the most is the author's work history and work life. I guess she's trying to show the kind of person she is? It's hard to believe there will be a meaningful message; I mean, we hear more about her assistant than we do about her spouse. It also seems like this is for a certain audience, for people who share more life experiences with the author. I'm a 30-something professional woman, but I live in a town of less than 20,000 and work 37.5 hours per week. I'm not in the same place as a 30-something professional woman who lives in New York City and works 16-hour days. I'm married and have a child, but I'm not very brown, I've never been divorced, and I'm not a lesbian. The author doesn't do anything to help people understand where she's coming from; she doesn't help the reader empathize much either, talking mainly about the actions she undertook to move her career forward.

eARC from NetGalley.