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Dating Detox: 40 Days of Perfecting Love in an Imperfect World
"If we want love, why do we often settle for less?"
from the
Foreword by Jason and Crystalina Evert
Tired of our toxic dating culture, many young adults want to clean up their love
lives. They desire to give their lives to Christ and turn away from sin but
without a concrete plan, they quickly fall back into old habits. Featuring daily
stories and action items, this forty-day detox provides a practical "cleanse" for
those who want to purify themselves from the poisoned dating culture and gain the
freedom to love and be loved.
Inside you'll
"Battling for purity is tough, but the Cotters' book makes it a whole lot easier. A must read for anyone who desires authentic relationships!"
- Matt Fradd , founder of The Porn Effect
from the
Foreword by Jason and Crystalina Evert
Tired of our toxic dating culture, many young adults want to clean up their love
lives. They desire to give their lives to Christ and turn away from sin but
without a concrete plan, they quickly fall back into old habits. Featuring daily
stories and action items, this forty-day detox provides a practical "cleanse" for
those who want to purify themselves from the poisoned dating culture and gain the
freedom to love and be loved.
Inside you'll
"Battling for purity is tough, but the Cotters' book makes it a whole lot easier. A must read for anyone who desires authentic relationships!"
- Matt Fradd , founder of The Porn Effect
208 pages, Paperback
Published December 22, 2016
35 people are currently reading
152 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
June 10, 2025
This is a really useful and helpful book for anyone looking to discover what authentic love looks like and encounter it in their own life. The daily chapters are super short but filled with beautiful testimonies of college students and their experiences with love, sex, and relationships as well as simple daily challenges to help you to rewire your perception of love and differentiate it from use. Overall, everyone could benefit from reading this book!
March 1, 2024
Even as someone who frequently reads works of theology I found this book helpful and insightful. This is especially since it tackles the issue of love and dating from a very practical real world perspective rather than simply remaining in the world of abstract theory. The stories of real people and the real world challenges that the book provides help to remind readers that God's plan for love, dating, and marriage isn't just an abstract set of rules but consist of an entire lifestyle that is achievable for those willing to allow God to give them the grace necessary to live in accordance with His will.
August 19, 2021
Thought evoking, discussion starting, and action inspiring.
Read
October 22, 2024Self explanatory
December 2, 2024
Taught me a lot about love and dating…can’t wait to use my new mindset!!
September 25, 2019
A friend of mine gave me this book after a recent breakup, and it was a great opportunity to read, reflect, and reevaluate the way I view and approach dating relationships. The Cotters helpfully break the book into sections to help progress the reader through different common roadblocks/issues (physical passions, emotional passions, the purpose of dating, etc). I learned a lot about myself, the Lord, and relationships by working through this book the past 40 days! However, the chapters were hit or miss. This is partly because everyone has different experiences when it comes to dating so it's hard to write a book that speaks to every issue, but also because I'm a Protestant and the book is written with Catholics in mind. Again, I still learned a lot and am grateful to have been given the book, but this difference in Christianity made some of the daily detox challenges unhelpful. Another critique was that there wasn't as much reference to scripture as I had hoped. Regardless, I still learned a lot and had information presented to me in a way I hadn't heard before in protestantism (using arousal vs affection instead of love vs lust was a great chapter and conceptualization). I would easily recommend this to someone wanting to stop and reframe the way they approach relationships.
February 26, 2026
In the words of Father Mike Schmitz, ''we are in a world that's good, but fallen.''
This book has a lot of stories to learn and lessons to take from. The Cotter couple that made it were very intentional in including the stories of real people and their experiences to communicate to the reader. Some of these stories may not always be directly applicable to us, but we can resonate with them. Maybe some of these stories are parallel and identical to our lives with all the faults and vices in-between. Either way, this book, which will constantly say ''love, dating, and sex'' is a companion that continues to encourage the reader on his or her detox from particular vices.
"Despite [Brad] his wayward life, God still desired to call Brad to something better, so he continued to knock patiently on his heart."
"In a moment of desperation, she [Elizabeth] called out to God with what she described as the most honest prayer she had ever prayed: 'I don't like chastity!'"
"'It got worst after my first year of college', Leo explained [...] 'What have I been doing with my life? For the past three months I've been slapping [Jesus] in the face. How long will I put off this holiness thing so I can keep seeking pleasure?'"
The author's made this as personal as possible with their interviewed people willing to give their public testimony, holding relative anonymity. All these stories have a turn around, and it's a very human one, acknowledging that conversion is not as instantaneous and perfect as the life of someone very extraordinary, but an on-going process towards perfection that doesn't ignore falls. A folly often occasional to us whenever we forget to do something right. It's a time taking and time ticking process, and the reader should acknowledge that. I like thinking about this one quote, ''every saint a past, every sinner a future.''
''For a righteous man may fall seven times and rise again. But the wicked shall fall by calamity.''
- Prov. 24:16
I like the way how the book is also set up. It often begins with a story or testimony of a real life person and their journey, makes some part of it applicable as a kind of learning process, and offers a challenge or detox at the end of the chapter. There are also discussion questions in the back after each week. It also offers basic moral advice about how to avoid said issues. Why settle for less if we are meant for more? It's not a prideful statement. It's a dignified one, because as one saying attributed to Pope Benedict XVI goes: ''The world offers you comfort. But you were not made for comfort. You were made for greatness.''
I would recommend this to any Christian struggling in general with how they perceive love, view dating, and understand sex. It is really good. Even if you aren't dating, there are some single stories included for those who never had a intimate relationship or for those who have broken up from one.
This book has a lot of stories to learn and lessons to take from. The Cotter couple that made it were very intentional in including the stories of real people and their experiences to communicate to the reader. Some of these stories may not always be directly applicable to us, but we can resonate with them. Maybe some of these stories are parallel and identical to our lives with all the faults and vices in-between. Either way, this book, which will constantly say ''love, dating, and sex'' is a companion that continues to encourage the reader on his or her detox from particular vices.
"Despite [Brad] his wayward life, God still desired to call Brad to something better, so he continued to knock patiently on his heart."
"In a moment of desperation, she [Elizabeth] called out to God with what she described as the most honest prayer she had ever prayed: 'I don't like chastity!'"
"'It got worst after my first year of college', Leo explained [...] 'What have I been doing with my life? For the past three months I've been slapping [Jesus] in the face. How long will I put off this holiness thing so I can keep seeking pleasure?'"
The author's made this as personal as possible with their interviewed people willing to give their public testimony, holding relative anonymity. All these stories have a turn around, and it's a very human one, acknowledging that conversion is not as instantaneous and perfect as the life of someone very extraordinary, but an on-going process towards perfection that doesn't ignore falls. A folly often occasional to us whenever we forget to do something right. It's a time taking and time ticking process, and the reader should acknowledge that. I like thinking about this one quote, ''every saint a past, every sinner a future.''
''For a righteous man may fall seven times and rise again. But the wicked shall fall by calamity.''
- Prov. 24:16
I like the way how the book is also set up. It often begins with a story or testimony of a real life person and their journey, makes some part of it applicable as a kind of learning process, and offers a challenge or detox at the end of the chapter. There are also discussion questions in the back after each week. It also offers basic moral advice about how to avoid said issues. Why settle for less if we are meant for more? It's not a prideful statement. It's a dignified one, because as one saying attributed to Pope Benedict XVI goes: ''The world offers you comfort. But you were not made for comfort. You were made for greatness.''
I would recommend this to any Christian struggling in general with how they perceive love, view dating, and understand sex. It is really good. Even if you aren't dating, there are some single stories included for those who never had a intimate relationship or for those who have broken up from one.
May 11, 2018
Challenging and Amazing 40 Days
I loved how Lisa and Kevin were able to walk me through this detox. It is well written and keeps one engaged with all the challenges and the stories which are incredibly relatable. Thank you to Lisa and Kevin for guiding me and helping me change for the better.
I loved how Lisa and Kevin were able to walk me through this detox. It is well written and keeps one engaged with all the challenges and the stories which are incredibly relatable. Thank you to Lisa and Kevin for guiding me and helping me change for the better.
June 11, 2018
A must!
A perfect and simple guide for understanding and learning about love, sex, and faith. I learned a lot and hopefully will grow more on the subjects.
A perfect and simple guide for understanding and learning about love, sex, and faith. I learned a lot and hopefully will grow more on the subjects.
April 24, 2019
I felt that this was more directed toward college students in the US but it was definitely useful in trying to heal myself and live my life with more confidence as a Christian single woman.
July 31, 2020
I HIGHLY recommend it for every Catholic single!!!!
November 25, 2020
It was good, but I wasn't the target audience, so most of the advice were things that I'm already adhering to.
December 17, 2020
Interesting and good read.
April 15, 2022
This book isn’t earth shattering new info but I’d def recommend it. Week four was BOMB.
March 20, 2024
highly recommend, it’s not even a dating detox it’s more of like a how to be free to love another and make a gift of yourself. a 40 day retreat of bite sized virtue training.
Read
October 23, 2024Yall know why but very fun to do with my bestie
March 15, 2023
Un gran aporte a las relaciones que buscan el amor más allá del uso del otro.
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews