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The Lost Prayers of Ricky Graves
In raw, poignant alternating first-person narratives, interspersed with e-mails, gay chat-room exchanges, and other fragments of a youth laid bare in the age of social media, The Lost Prayers of Ricky Graves unravels the mystery of a life in all its glory: despair and regret, humor and wonder, courage and connection.
A heartbroken and humiliated Ricky Graves took the life of a classmate and himself. Five months later, the sleepy community is still in shock and mourning. Ricky’s sister, Alyssa, returns to confront her shattered, withdrawn mother and her guilt over the brother she left adrift. Mark McVitry, the lone survivor of the deadly outburst sparked by his own cruelty, is tormented by visions of Ricky’s vengeful spirit. Ricky’s surrogate older brother, Corky Meeks, grapples with doubts about the fragile boy he tried to protect but may have doomed instead. And Jeremy Little, who inadvertently became Ricky’s long-distance Internet crush despite never having met, seeks to atone for failing to hear his friend’s cries for help.
For those closest to the tormented killer, shock and grief have given way to soul searching, as they’re forced to confront their broken dreams, buried desires, and missed opportunities. And in their shared search for meaning and redemption, Ricky’s loved ones find a common purpose: learning to trust their feelings, fighting for real intimacy in a world grown selfish and insincere, and fearlessly embracing all that matters most…before it’s gone from their lives.
368 pages, Kindle Edition
First published December 1, 2017
1275 people are currently reading
1943 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 219 reviews
December 22, 2017
3.5 stars for this one.
Social media has made it possible for us to connect with people from all phases of our lives, all over the world. Sadly, it has also made it easier for people to bully, ridicule, criticize, gossip, and humiliate. No matter how many connections we may have, are these true relationships? Will the people with whom we share photos, pithy sayings, humorous videos, and casual greetings actually be there to help us in our time of need?
These are questions James Han Mattson addresses in his immensely current, poignant new novel, The Lost Prayers of Ricky Graves .
Ricky Graves was a teenager growing up in a small town in New Hampshire. He often felt disconnected from his peers, his older sister moved away to pursue her own life, and his mother was often emotionally distracted and vacant. He wondered whether he'd ever find someone to understand him and feel the same way he did. One night, tired of being embarrassed and ostracized by his peers, he kills himself and another classmate, and shoots another.
Five months after the incident, the town's residents are still reeling and searching for answers. Ricky's older sister Alyssa returns to town to confront her mother about Ricky's death, at the same time dealing with her own guilt about being so detached from Ricky for so long. But Alyssa has her own issues, her own demons to confront.
"But I suppose death does weird things to your memory, makes you think of the person in a way that's better than the person actually was."
This book shifts back and forth between the events leading up to the shooting and the aftermath, and is told in first-person accounts, emails, and chat-room transcripts. Ricky's story is pieced together by the perspectives of a number of people—Mark, the one survivor of the shooting, who is haunted by his guilt and his visions of Ricky's spirit; Corky, Alyssa's ex-boyfriend, who once was Ricky's camp counselor, and wonders whether he missed some of the signs of what might happen down the line; Claire, one of Ricky's classmates, who vacillates between her own guilt and her misplaced desire to avenge those who caused it; and Jeremy, who inadvertently became Ricky's confidante when they chatted online, but he had no idea how troubled Ricky was.
I can't say I enjoyed this book, but it was very affecting and thought-provoking. Sadly, what happened to Ricky and how he reacted has become all too common in today's world. Unfortunately, I found most of the characters pretty unlikable, and one plot thread in particular had me concerned Mattson was going to take the book from the poignant to the ridiculous. (Luckily, it didn't quite go there.) Some of the plot threads felt unresolved or too pat for me as well, but I still can't get this out of my head.
All too often I wonder about social media's affect on society and our interpersonal relationships, and I read far too much about those being bullied online. The Lost Prayers of Ricky Graves will definitely get you thinking in the same regard, and make you wonder just how many kids are facing the same feelings Ricky did, hopefully without the same results.
See all of my reviews at http://itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blo....
Social media has made it possible for us to connect with people from all phases of our lives, all over the world. Sadly, it has also made it easier for people to bully, ridicule, criticize, gossip, and humiliate. No matter how many connections we may have, are these true relationships? Will the people with whom we share photos, pithy sayings, humorous videos, and casual greetings actually be there to help us in our time of need?
These are questions James Han Mattson addresses in his immensely current, poignant new novel, The Lost Prayers of Ricky Graves .
Ricky Graves was a teenager growing up in a small town in New Hampshire. He often felt disconnected from his peers, his older sister moved away to pursue her own life, and his mother was often emotionally distracted and vacant. He wondered whether he'd ever find someone to understand him and feel the same way he did. One night, tired of being embarrassed and ostracized by his peers, he kills himself and another classmate, and shoots another.
Five months after the incident, the town's residents are still reeling and searching for answers. Ricky's older sister Alyssa returns to town to confront her mother about Ricky's death, at the same time dealing with her own guilt about being so detached from Ricky for so long. But Alyssa has her own issues, her own demons to confront.
"But I suppose death does weird things to your memory, makes you think of the person in a way that's better than the person actually was."
This book shifts back and forth between the events leading up to the shooting and the aftermath, and is told in first-person accounts, emails, and chat-room transcripts. Ricky's story is pieced together by the perspectives of a number of people—Mark, the one survivor of the shooting, who is haunted by his guilt and his visions of Ricky's spirit; Corky, Alyssa's ex-boyfriend, who once was Ricky's camp counselor, and wonders whether he missed some of the signs of what might happen down the line; Claire, one of Ricky's classmates, who vacillates between her own guilt and her misplaced desire to avenge those who caused it; and Jeremy, who inadvertently became Ricky's confidante when they chatted online, but he had no idea how troubled Ricky was.
I can't say I enjoyed this book, but it was very affecting and thought-provoking. Sadly, what happened to Ricky and how he reacted has become all too common in today's world. Unfortunately, I found most of the characters pretty unlikable, and one plot thread in particular had me concerned Mattson was going to take the book from the poignant to the ridiculous. (Luckily, it didn't quite go there.) Some of the plot threads felt unresolved or too pat for me as well, but I still can't get this out of my head.
All too often I wonder about social media's affect on society and our interpersonal relationships, and I read far too much about those being bullied online. The Lost Prayers of Ricky Graves will definitely get you thinking in the same regard, and make you wonder just how many kids are facing the same feelings Ricky did, hopefully without the same results.
See all of my reviews at http://itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blo....
July 2, 2018
DNF. Impossible for me to read. Not because it's bad but rather since it's not what I prefer. I can see people with all these issues in real life. And I don't want to see the same inane behavior in my books.
I probably am one hell of a bigot and worse but I sort of got twitchy trying to read it. I wanted to send everyone to some kind of medical health practitioner, starting with a good psychoanalyst.
The cloying atmosphere of the day-to-day stupidities people regularly do was reflected here superbly. And it was SO not what I was looking for. I like my books to give me some extra insight into why people do what they do, even if it's obvious. And this gives no introspection.
Like I said, the issue is with me and not with the book. It's just not what I wanted.
I probably am one hell of a bigot and worse but I sort of got twitchy trying to read it. I wanted to send everyone to some kind of medical health practitioner, starting with a good psychoanalyst.
The cloying atmosphere of the day-to-day stupidities people regularly do was reflected here superbly. And it was SO not what I was looking for. I like my books to give me some extra insight into why people do what they do, even if it's obvious. And this gives no introspection.
Like I said, the issue is with me and not with the book. It's just not what I wanted.
June 11, 2017
I was so very excited to read this book, and I'm happy to say it was worth the wait, and then some. Thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for the chance to read and review it.
In "The Lost Prayers of Ricky Graves" we pick up in the aftermath of a shooting by a humiliated teen. Ricky is lonely, gay, bullied, and recently humiliated by a group of popular boys, one of which he thinks is interested in him. It was all a prank, though, and Ricky takes a dark path of revenge, shooting and killing the leader and injuring his best friend before also killing himself.
The book is centered on several people that were involved in the events before and after the incident. Ricky's mom and sister, Alyssa, both feel loss and extreme guilt over what happened. Alyssa returns to town, pregnant, after escaping it years before. They both wonder what they could have done to prevent such a loss. There's also Alyssa's ex, Corky, who was also a mentor of sorts to Ricky. We also get the perspective of two students, Mark, the one that was injured in the attack and is haunted by the ghost of Ricky appearing to him all the time, and Claire, another student that talked with Ricky and seems to want revenge for what happened, as well. Finally, we get the story of Jeremy, who met Ricky on a gay dating site and talked with him in the months leading up to the incident. We are able to read chat transcripts of Jeremy and Ricky before and even the day of the shooting, as well as Jeremy's story as he finds himself going to the town to do his own investigation of sorts, as he also wonders what he could have done differently.
I really enjoyed the alternate character takes and the author's usage of chat transcripts and emails to tell the story. As sad events like this have become far too typical in our society, we always are left wondering "why?" Could anything be done? Did the victim try to reach out for help? If we had saw signs, could it have been prevented? I'm not sure the book really answers that question, because there really isn't an answer. Everyone is different and sometimes the signs are hidden very well. Still, the story of Ricky Graves here was very interesting to follow and quite sad. James Han Mattson has written a very good book on a tragic topic and I hope to read more from him in the future!
In "The Lost Prayers of Ricky Graves" we pick up in the aftermath of a shooting by a humiliated teen. Ricky is lonely, gay, bullied, and recently humiliated by a group of popular boys, one of which he thinks is interested in him. It was all a prank, though, and Ricky takes a dark path of revenge, shooting and killing the leader and injuring his best friend before also killing himself.
The book is centered on several people that were involved in the events before and after the incident. Ricky's mom and sister, Alyssa, both feel loss and extreme guilt over what happened. Alyssa returns to town, pregnant, after escaping it years before. They both wonder what they could have done to prevent such a loss. There's also Alyssa's ex, Corky, who was also a mentor of sorts to Ricky. We also get the perspective of two students, Mark, the one that was injured in the attack and is haunted by the ghost of Ricky appearing to him all the time, and Claire, another student that talked with Ricky and seems to want revenge for what happened, as well. Finally, we get the story of Jeremy, who met Ricky on a gay dating site and talked with him in the months leading up to the incident. We are able to read chat transcripts of Jeremy and Ricky before and even the day of the shooting, as well as Jeremy's story as he finds himself going to the town to do his own investigation of sorts, as he also wonders what he could have done differently.
I really enjoyed the alternate character takes and the author's usage of chat transcripts and emails to tell the story. As sad events like this have become far too typical in our society, we always are left wondering "why?" Could anything be done? Did the victim try to reach out for help? If we had saw signs, could it have been prevented? I'm not sure the book really answers that question, because there really isn't an answer. Everyone is different and sometimes the signs are hidden very well. Still, the story of Ricky Graves here was very interesting to follow and quite sad. James Han Mattson has written a very good book on a tragic topic and I hope to read more from him in the future!
November 27, 2017
Out of the three Kindle First books I've read so far, this one is by far the best. It's a modern, accessible story about the "lost prayers" we send out into the world every time we go online and what happens when those prayers go unanswered.
Judging by that description alone, I'd probably never choose to read this book--as a millennial firmly rooted in our technological world, I abhor fiction that exists purely to rail on those dumb kids with their faces stuck to their screens. I was worried this book would follow that formula--we need the real world, smart phones are evil, get some sunshine. But it actually turns that idea all around and exposes how technology can be both a lifesaver and a nail in the coffin, and through dark humor and very distinct character voices, first-time novelist Mattson has managed to write a tech-critical book that can appeal to all ages and all people on the connected spectrum.
This book follows a handful of first-person POV narrators about a year after a tragic murder/suicide involving a closeted teenage boy (the titular Ricky Graves) who was the victim of a cruel viral video prank. His older sister Alyssa, now heavily pregnant and single, moves back to their small New Hampshire hometown, where she connects with mysterious new guy Jeremy, who, unbeknownst to her, had been chatting online with Ricky on a gay dating app before his death. Other POV characters include Corky (Alyssa's ex-boyfriend who never wants to leave their hometown), Mark (one of the teen boys who pranked Ricky and is now living with PTSD), and Courtney (a teenage girl who was recently "awakened" to social justice and wants revenge). Between their sections are epistolary snippets of Ricky and Jeremy's chat-room conversations as well as e-mails from Ricky and Alyssa's mother, Harriet, to a well-known self-help guru who writes parenting books.
There's a lot going on in this book, but it all comes together perfectly. For example, Alyssa will make an off-handed comment about something she said to Ricky when they were little, and 100 pages later, Ricky will reference the same thing from a totally different point-of-view to Jeremy in the chat logs. You have to pay close attention to the characters and their relationships and how they see one another. It feels very grounded in the 2010's in language, voice, and themes. Each character has their own specific well-written voice and mannerisms--you can clearly tell which character is speaking. Alyssa sounds like a slightly-ditzy early-2000's prom queen, Mark sounds like a dopey, well-meaning kid with too much on his plate, and Jeremy sounds like a privileged gay man who is realizing his own problems really aren't that bad. And even though they all approach the "lost prayers" of technology (smart phones, Facebook, chat rooms, e-mail, Twitter) very differently, they all need it as an essential aspect of life in the 21st century.
Like I said before, I love how this book fairly criticizes the online world without completely demonizing it. This book doesn't end with phones tossed in the trash can while everyone goes outside for a picnic. In fact, .
The only reason I didn't give this book five stars is because the message does come across a little too heavily sometimes, such as when Jeremy's ex-boyfriend Craig blatantly lectures him on the evils of the internet--it definitely felt like we were being lectured, not Jeremy, which felt like sloppy exposition. I just wish the message was tightened a little bit across the board and not so baldly stated by the characters. It's obviously crafted well enough for readers to see the subtext.
This was a good book that just kept getting better the further I read. It's a good example of weaving many characters together to create a cohesive story through many different points of view.
Judging by that description alone, I'd probably never choose to read this book--as a millennial firmly rooted in our technological world, I abhor fiction that exists purely to rail on those dumb kids with their faces stuck to their screens. I was worried this book would follow that formula--we need the real world, smart phones are evil, get some sunshine. But it actually turns that idea all around and exposes how technology can be both a lifesaver and a nail in the coffin, and through dark humor and very distinct character voices, first-time novelist Mattson has managed to write a tech-critical book that can appeal to all ages and all people on the connected spectrum.
This book follows a handful of first-person POV narrators about a year after a tragic murder/suicide involving a closeted teenage boy (the titular Ricky Graves) who was the victim of a cruel viral video prank. His older sister Alyssa, now heavily pregnant and single, moves back to their small New Hampshire hometown, where she connects with mysterious new guy Jeremy, who, unbeknownst to her, had been chatting online with Ricky on a gay dating app before his death. Other POV characters include Corky (Alyssa's ex-boyfriend who never wants to leave their hometown), Mark (one of the teen boys who pranked Ricky and is now living with PTSD), and Courtney (a teenage girl who was recently "awakened" to social justice and wants revenge). Between their sections are epistolary snippets of Ricky and Jeremy's chat-room conversations as well as e-mails from Ricky and Alyssa's mother, Harriet, to a well-known self-help guru who writes parenting books.
There's a lot going on in this book, but it all comes together perfectly. For example, Alyssa will make an off-handed comment about something she said to Ricky when they were little, and 100 pages later, Ricky will reference the same thing from a totally different point-of-view to Jeremy in the chat logs. You have to pay close attention to the characters and their relationships and how they see one another. It feels very grounded in the 2010's in language, voice, and themes. Each character has their own specific well-written voice and mannerisms--you can clearly tell which character is speaking. Alyssa sounds like a slightly-ditzy early-2000's prom queen, Mark sounds like a dopey, well-meaning kid with too much on his plate, and Jeremy sounds like a privileged gay man who is realizing his own problems really aren't that bad. And even though they all approach the "lost prayers" of technology (smart phones, Facebook, chat rooms, e-mail, Twitter) very differently, they all need it as an essential aspect of life in the 21st century.
Like I said before, I love how this book fairly criticizes the online world without completely demonizing it. This book doesn't end with phones tossed in the trash can while everyone goes outside for a picnic. In fact, .
The only reason I didn't give this book five stars is because the message does come across a little too heavily sometimes, such as when Jeremy's ex-boyfriend Craig blatantly lectures him on the evils of the internet--it definitely felt like we were being lectured, not Jeremy, which felt like sloppy exposition. I just wish the message was tightened a little bit across the board and not so baldly stated by the characters. It's obviously crafted well enough for readers to see the subtext.
This was a good book that just kept getting better the further I read. It's a good example of weaving many characters together to create a cohesive story through many different points of view.
November 9, 2017
Wow! Not what I expected
Highly recommended. Should be required reading for high school kids. The story is written with each character telling their part individually. Real people, real situation, really good.
Highly recommended. Should be required reading for high school kids. The story is written with each character telling their part individually. Real people, real situation, really good.
November 21, 2017
The Lost Prayers of Ricky Graves was categorized as Literary Fiction, and I imagine Orson Scott Card had something like it in mind when he exaggerated that the only people reading this particular genre are the students of the people producing it.
I made it through nearly 30% of the book before giving up. I can handle quirky first-person, although I prefer the author to limit himself to one first-person POV per narrative, but I choked on the epistolary, gay-chat sections. Overall the narrative struck me as exceedingly lazy, and it’s been a while since I’ve been so disappointed by a book (gimme that it was).
I made it through nearly 30% of the book before giving up. I can handle quirky first-person, although I prefer the author to limit himself to one first-person POV per narrative, but I choked on the epistolary, gay-chat sections. Overall the narrative struck me as exceedingly lazy, and it’s been a while since I’ve been so disappointed by a book (gimme that it was).
December 10, 2017
Every single one of the characters lacks insight into their own identity and behavior. Reproducing the inanity of the thought and speech of such people is usually tiresome to read, but this book is a rare exception where it is done to great effect. The people in this social network are interactively knit in such a way that their collective growth process becomes the reader's. Avoids sensationalizing the main tragic act which remains the fulcrum of the whole story. Honest about the double-edged sword of attempting intimacy online. Spot-on about the messiness of grief. Excellent first novel.
November 29, 2017
A tad too obvious...
This novel teases out the impact of technology on our personal and social interactions. It does so by alternating chapters' communication formats - email, chat, narrative, etc - and through the co ducts faced by two of the main characters (Jeremy and Ricky). While this is enough (and then some) to highlight the issue, Mattson has every character weigh in on the subject either explicitly or implied. By the midway point, I as a reader, thought "enough! I get it! It's a complicated but omnipresent issue!" If only Mattson could have hit us less over the head...
Proselytizing aside, the character development was quite good and I feel like each character really grew into his or her voice. Although a few times it danced close to coming up two-dimensional (like Claire's indoctrination), there were always some unexpected twists to more fully flesh-out the reading.
All in all, a good read and one that is certainly relevant today. Just be prepared to be sermonized.
This novel teases out the impact of technology on our personal and social interactions. It does so by alternating chapters' communication formats - email, chat, narrative, etc - and through the co ducts faced by two of the main characters (Jeremy and Ricky). While this is enough (and then some) to highlight the issue, Mattson has every character weigh in on the subject either explicitly or implied. By the midway point, I as a reader, thought "enough! I get it! It's a complicated but omnipresent issue!" If only Mattson could have hit us less over the head...
Proselytizing aside, the character development was quite good and I feel like each character really grew into his or her voice. Although a few times it danced close to coming up two-dimensional (like Claire's indoctrination), there were always some unexpected twists to more fully flesh-out the reading.
All in all, a good read and one that is certainly relevant today. Just be prepared to be sermonized.
January 20, 2024
Författaren verkar älska ordet wicked. Tycker inte det passar in på alla människors perspektiv så blev lite konstigt.
Men det var en intressant bok, om någon som död på kanske inte det mest förlåtande sättet.
Men det var en intressant bok, om någon som död på kanske inte det mest förlåtande sättet.
November 2, 2017
What an incredible story! I read this book in less than two days, just couldn't put it down. I love every single one of the characters, how real they are, how imperfect, none of them really an outright villain. Just human, like all of us. I know I'm going to hold on to this book (mentally, emotionally) for a while, that I'm going to take some time to process it, and then in a few months I'm going to come back and re-read it with different eyes, and it'll be a completely new experience. I love books like this. I'm so glad I read it!
February 24, 2018
2.5, rounded up. I think if this were marketed as YA (since most of the characters are teenagers, and it would seem to appeal to that age range), I would be a bit more generous in my estimation. As an adult novel, it doesn't quite cut-it, but even though I considered not finishing a couple of times, ultimately I felt it wasn't a total waste. It DID suffer from having multiple narrators who almost ALL sounded exactly alike (and maybe it IS a New Hampshire thing, but four of them constantly use the term 'wicked', which got irritating fast!); there were some meandering sections that didn't add much; and the 'moral' of the book becomes a bit ham-fisted towards the end, but the storyline (cyber bullying, school shootings) is certainly topical and relevant.
December 18, 2017
Ricky is a young boy who takes the life of a classmate then himself and shoots another in the arm. This book tells his story through the eyes of several people. It also uses chat room transcripts, which is an aspect that I enjoy in books. Ricky's life is a tragic one and we are given brief glimpses into the struggles he faced as well as the relationships which he had with those around him. The reason I gave the book 3 stars was because there were some characters that I wasn't particularly interesting in, especially in the middle half of the novel where the focus went to the classmates. The book does a great job of telling a multifaceted story about a boy who is struggling with his identity and dealing with bullying at the same time.
November 5, 2017
I got this book as my November Kindle First choice. This is the first time I’ve read the monthly choice in the month it was released. This book is the To Kill A Mockingbird of this generation. It should be required reading for every person on this planet.
I read a lot of books. Like, a lot. This is most original, most relevant book I have read this year. This is a book that will stay with me forever. If you’ve ever been a bully, been bullied, not understood your sexuality, felt marginalized or privileged, don’t understand what it means to have privilege or if you’re privileged and don’t know it, read this book.
This book will make you feel uncomfortable in places, and it should. Hopefully it will also open your eyes to things you may not have considered. It contains almost every “phobic” word out there. I caught myself wincing every now and again.
The plot is in multiple POVs, each chapter gives another layer to the ultimate tragedy of the story. A lot of the characters aren’t very likable, but do find redemption in the end.
James Han Mattson has written a beautifully written book that should become an instant classic. A definite Top of 2017 Reads!
I read a lot of books. Like, a lot. This is most original, most relevant book I have read this year. This is a book that will stay with me forever. If you’ve ever been a bully, been bullied, not understood your sexuality, felt marginalized or privileged, don’t understand what it means to have privilege or if you’re privileged and don’t know it, read this book.
This book will make you feel uncomfortable in places, and it should. Hopefully it will also open your eyes to things you may not have considered. It contains almost every “phobic” word out there. I caught myself wincing every now and again.
The plot is in multiple POVs, each chapter gives another layer to the ultimate tragedy of the story. A lot of the characters aren’t very likable, but do find redemption in the end.
James Han Mattson has written a beautifully written book that should become an instant classic. A definite Top of 2017 Reads!
November 4, 2017
This was the book I chose from the November Kindle First options and I’m glad I did. I think a part of me was drawn to this book due to my current detachment and feelings towards social media...and to be honest, despite being a work of fiction, it opened my eyes even more.
I really loved how this book was set up with the emails between Ricky’s mother (Harriet) and Victoria Gorham, the “Man Date Chat Transcripts,” and the various first-person narratives....it made everything feel so real and personal. Almost like we’re reading pages in a diary; getting inside the minds of those who were closest to Ricky.
This book definitely stirred up some feelings about high school and I am SO grateful we didn’t have social media back then because I can’t imagine how much worse bullying would have been. Reading this gave me just a glimpse of how damaging it could be (bullying + high school + Internet/social media). Not to say that this book blames social media or technology for the events that occurred, but it really shed some light on the positives and negatives. We can either use social media and the Internet for good (to help) or bad. And we see the two sides of it in these characters (Ricky, Jeremy, Claire, Mark, Harriet).
As I mentioned above, this book felt a little like a diary, but goodness, there were some profound quotes in here that really struck a nerve. I don’t want to share too much, but here’s a part of a conversation between two characters:
”Achievements become ‘likes.’ Thoughts become ‘shares.’ Emotions become comments at the bottom of a video. It’s a digital tapestry of unanswered prayers, and if you look really close at it all, you see this enormous wall of human misery.”
“But that misery will be there no matter what, even if there were no Internet.”
“Sure, but the Internet highlights and amplifies it. The minute you plug in, you’re assaulted by millions of lonely people desperately seeking validation for their existence.”
I had to laugh at how dependent some of the characters were with their phones and social media - it was a very real portrayal of our society today! People still mindlessly scrolling a feed or texting someone despite being in the company of a real person. I could sense the guilt and regret in some of the characters for not really being there (present), like they missed a chance to do something.
This book was very different from anything I’ve read before and while I really enjoyed reading it, I feel like there was something missing - and I can’t put my finger on it. Maybe after I process this book a bit more I’ll come back and edit my review or change the rating, but for now I’m going between 4-4.5 stars.
I really loved how this book was set up with the emails between Ricky’s mother (Harriet) and Victoria Gorham, the “Man Date Chat Transcripts,” and the various first-person narratives....it made everything feel so real and personal. Almost like we’re reading pages in a diary; getting inside the minds of those who were closest to Ricky.
This book definitely stirred up some feelings about high school and I am SO grateful we didn’t have social media back then because I can’t imagine how much worse bullying would have been. Reading this gave me just a glimpse of how damaging it could be (bullying + high school + Internet/social media). Not to say that this book blames social media or technology for the events that occurred, but it really shed some light on the positives and negatives. We can either use social media and the Internet for good (to help) or bad. And we see the two sides of it in these characters (Ricky, Jeremy, Claire, Mark, Harriet).
As I mentioned above, this book felt a little like a diary, but goodness, there were some profound quotes in here that really struck a nerve. I don’t want to share too much, but here’s a part of a conversation between two characters:
”Achievements become ‘likes.’ Thoughts become ‘shares.’ Emotions become comments at the bottom of a video. It’s a digital tapestry of unanswered prayers, and if you look really close at it all, you see this enormous wall of human misery.”
“But that misery will be there no matter what, even if there were no Internet.”
“Sure, but the Internet highlights and amplifies it. The minute you plug in, you’re assaulted by millions of lonely people desperately seeking validation for their existence.”
I had to laugh at how dependent some of the characters were with their phones and social media - it was a very real portrayal of our society today! People still mindlessly scrolling a feed or texting someone despite being in the company of a real person. I could sense the guilt and regret in some of the characters for not really being there (present), like they missed a chance to do something.
This book was very different from anything I’ve read before and while I really enjoyed reading it, I feel like there was something missing - and I can’t put my finger on it. Maybe after I process this book a bit more I’ll come back and edit my review or change the rating, but for now I’m going between 4-4.5 stars.
November 20, 2017
I must admit that I’m finding it a bit difficult to find the right words to describe this book. It affected me in so many ways. It was extremely evocative, and somewhat provocative, both generally and on a personal level. The main plot and the sub-plots were perfectly contemporary, topical and timely. I hate to use the phrase, but not only were they “ripped from the headlines” of any modern newspaper on any given day, but they reflect topics that one might read – topics that I have read – in blog posts and on message boards, Facebook, etc. And, the writing style itself was incredibly effective. Even though I’ve read other books that have attempted a colloquial style of narration and dialogue, as well as "mixed media" presentation, I often find that at some point it ends up feeling gimmicky, for lack of a better word. Not so here: the colloquial style was used to great effect; so real that it was uncomfortable at points. What I mean by that is, small touches such as the "incorrect" grammar used by some (many) of the characters was not only incredibly realistic (and cringe-worthy to this “grammar-nazi”), but it also often enhanced the plot and story-telling, without becoming self-conscious. One key example - without offering spoilers – was the chat conversations between Ricky and Jeremy: it was almost painfully apparent to the reader that Jeremy absolutely knew Ricky was lying about certain things without the author ever needing to explicitly point it out, largely because his poor grammar belied his educational boasts. Masterful. Also, the mix of narrative media, if you will, was both intriguing and effective. Conveying information about the characters and revelations about their motivations via email exchanges and chat room conversations as well as more traditional narrative/diary style helped to make the story a compelling read but, again, made it feel current and immediate. And finally, I always enjoy it when an author can effectively tease out a major plot point, dropping hints to help the reader piece together what happened without slapping them in the fact with it. And this author did that to great effect here, again, without it becoming too self-conscious and without dragging it on too long. He seemed to know exactly when to pull all those pieces together at a time and in a manner that continued to advance the story and entice the reader on to the final resolution. Perhaps the only real criticism I might level is that one of the major relationships between characters ended just a little too ideally for me, but that’s probably a matter of personal taste. All in all, I highly recommend this book, and I must say I am astounded that this is a debut novel. I am very much looking forward to reading more from this author.
November 1, 2017
Multiple POV of a 'snapped' shooter
On the surface, this is a story of a bullied, conflicted kid that is overwhelmed by his life, shoots others, then himself. It's told by multiple POV's before and after the fact in narration, chats, and emails. With so many voices, it leaves you wondering how they all might tie together neatly into a bow at the end of the story. Simply put, they don't. As in life, you're left with questions about multiple characters and how their paths connect, how their choices panned out. This isn't a bad thing, it makes it feel even more realistic.
The book explores the modern attachments to technology and detachment from life. Characters mirror each other - both mother and son having their most trusted relationships with strangers online, who are far less emotionally invested in the other. It shows bullying on a number of levels, before the tragedy and after, as a means of revenge. And there are so many different means of coping, with diagnosed and undiagnosed PTSD from the shooting.
There's a lot of subtlety hidden within, as well as bold statements about the dangers of social media - most likely with more than a touch of truth to them. The tale unfolds carefully, spilling secrets and emotions from all characters beautifully, even when the emotions are ugly. I'll be reading this one again as I'm sure I'll catch even more on the second reading; I was speed reading towards the end to see where everything was going.
While the plot revolves around a shooting, it's only described once, briefly. The psychological aspect of the novel is laid open and graphic much more than the physical events.
On the surface, this is a story of a bullied, conflicted kid that is overwhelmed by his life, shoots others, then himself. It's told by multiple POV's before and after the fact in narration, chats, and emails. With so many voices, it leaves you wondering how they all might tie together neatly into a bow at the end of the story. Simply put, they don't. As in life, you're left with questions about multiple characters and how their paths connect, how their choices panned out. This isn't a bad thing, it makes it feel even more realistic.
The book explores the modern attachments to technology and detachment from life. Characters mirror each other - both mother and son having their most trusted relationships with strangers online, who are far less emotionally invested in the other. It shows bullying on a number of levels, before the tragedy and after, as a means of revenge. And there are so many different means of coping, with diagnosed and undiagnosed PTSD from the shooting.
There's a lot of subtlety hidden within, as well as bold statements about the dangers of social media - most likely with more than a touch of truth to them. The tale unfolds carefully, spilling secrets and emotions from all characters beautifully, even when the emotions are ugly. I'll be reading this one again as I'm sure I'll catch even more on the second reading; I was speed reading towards the end to see where everything was going.
While the plot revolves around a shooting, it's only described once, briefly. The psychological aspect of the novel is laid open and graphic much more than the physical events.
January 16, 2018
I believe this book is geared toward teenagers, hoping to warn them into better behavior. On the surface, it is mostly about Ricky, his abusers, and the retaliation he takes against them which ends with a murder, a suicide, and an injury. But this book is deeper than that. Much like 13 Reasons Why, by Jay Asher, this book delves into the lives of the tormentors and the people who were close with Ricky, exploring the motivations and collateral damage from their interactions with him.
I removed one star because of the author's tactic of using text speak and email dialogue for a good portion of the book. Not that I am against that if used well, but I felt like the tone of the texts did not feel genuine. In order to show Ricky's youth, the author made him sound exceedingly immature, even though he was supposed to be an incredibly bright boy. And the mother's fascination with a self-help guru just seemed a little too implausible. Her emails to the author were a way to get the mother's story without actually having her relay it to any real person. Personally, I just didn't like the tactic. It didn't work for me.
I also removed a star because I just didn't believe the Jeremy angle. He was an openly gay man living in San Fransisco who was having a mentor-like relationship with Ricky from afar, trying to help him feel comfortable with his sexuality and to understand that he could get through any abuses if he built a good enough support system. Unfortunately, I felt that the text dialogue included in the story was not enough for him to actually understand what was going on with Ricky and yet it seemed as if he did. [Maybe it was implied that there were more texts and I missed that.] There was no depth in this relationship. And I know it was all done in texts, so the author was limited in that way, but there was not enough information conveyed for Jeremy to know that Ricky was being abused. And not enough information to make him take leave from his job and fly out to Ricky's hometown months after the murder-suicide to meet Ricky's sister. It was a weird angle.
I almost removed a star because even though I feel like young people SHOULD read this, I kind of don't want them to. It was pretty graphic in parts and that was enough to have made me wary of giving this book to one of my teens. BUT.... teens know so much these days, maybe that is what they actually NEED to read.
All in all, I liked the book. I like that it focuses on the abuses in the youth LGBTQ community. In my heart of hearts, I'd love to see more acceptance of different lifestyles and quirks in our young people. I feel like this is a new frontier that we must conquer and books like this raise awareness. I don't want our youth to feel like revenge is the only way to get their messages across, though. I'd like to see some more positive books, stories that deal with this topic but that don't end in death or severe injury. I can dream, I guess.
I received this book from the Kindle First program in exchange for an honest review.
I removed one star because of the author's tactic of using text speak and email dialogue for a good portion of the book. Not that I am against that if used well, but I felt like the tone of the texts did not feel genuine. In order to show Ricky's youth, the author made him sound exceedingly immature, even though he was supposed to be an incredibly bright boy. And the mother's fascination with a self-help guru just seemed a little too implausible. Her emails to the author were a way to get the mother's story without actually having her relay it to any real person. Personally, I just didn't like the tactic. It didn't work for me.
I also removed a star because I just didn't believe the Jeremy angle. He was an openly gay man living in San Fransisco who was having a mentor-like relationship with Ricky from afar, trying to help him feel comfortable with his sexuality and to understand that he could get through any abuses if he built a good enough support system. Unfortunately, I felt that the text dialogue included in the story was not enough for him to actually understand what was going on with Ricky and yet it seemed as if he did. [Maybe it was implied that there were more texts and I missed that.] There was no depth in this relationship. And I know it was all done in texts, so the author was limited in that way, but there was not enough information conveyed for Jeremy to know that Ricky was being abused. And not enough information to make him take leave from his job and fly out to Ricky's hometown months after the murder-suicide to meet Ricky's sister. It was a weird angle.
I almost removed a star because even though I feel like young people SHOULD read this, I kind of don't want them to. It was pretty graphic in parts and that was enough to have made me wary of giving this book to one of my teens. BUT.... teens know so much these days, maybe that is what they actually NEED to read.
All in all, I liked the book. I like that it focuses on the abuses in the youth LGBTQ community. In my heart of hearts, I'd love to see more acceptance of different lifestyles and quirks in our young people. I feel like this is a new frontier that we must conquer and books like this raise awareness. I don't want our youth to feel like revenge is the only way to get their messages across, though. I'd like to see some more positive books, stories that deal with this topic but that don't end in death or severe injury. I can dream, I guess.
I received this book from the Kindle First program in exchange for an honest review.
May 25, 2022
The plot had a super interesting, emotional premise but the story really missed the mark. The characters are EXTREMELY annoying, stupid, sad, creepy people. The chapters are written as if the characters are speaking, so there are run on sentences and culturally appropriate grammatical errors, but I just HATED it. Daisy Jones and the Six did it SO much better. The mom always talks about how smart Ricky is - well if he’s so smart, why does he say “your” instead of “you’re” and “there” instead of “their”?? I mean for fucks sake. I also don’t feel like they adequately dealt with Ricky’s trauma. The story was really more about Jeremy and Alyssa than it was about Ricky, and that just wasn’t right.
With that, I did still finish the book and wanted to see where it was going. I don’t really recommend it though.
With that, I did still finish the book and wanted to see where it was going. I don’t really recommend it though.
February 16, 2021
Although it's an interesting story and addresses the problems of a society over-reliant on social media, the writing style lacks. 6 different narrators all speak in the same slang and run-on sentence style, altering every adjective with the word 'wicked', which just seems wicked sloppy of the author. Annoying, right? I looked forward to this LGBT novel from a Korean-American voice, but overall found it quite amateurish.
November 10, 2017
The timely story of the aftermath of a young man who commits an unthinkable, violent act in a small New England town. I finished it in just a couple of days because it is so compelling. So many adults and "friends" fail this kid that you can't help but understand why he snaps. You're not directly responsible for gun tragedies, but we all are responsible for violent acts. I'll be a lot less quick to dismiss opportunities to be kind. This book will stay will me for a long time.
December 4, 2017
3.8 stars
January 6, 2018
Great novel published for adults. Enjoyed the multiple perspectives. Powerful, relevant, and raw. Listened on audio. Top notch.
June 29, 2018
So insightful
If I could rate this higher, I would ❤️ Wish I could remember who suggested this book to me so I could buy them a present.
If I could rate this higher, I would ❤️ Wish I could remember who suggested this book to me so I could buy them a present.
June 10, 2025
Have you ever read a book that just makes you feel gross? Not in an existential way or in a disgust of our horrible society way, but in a way where you almost feel culpable for someone’s secret horrendous act? If you want to, try this book.
Something about this just felt… evil. Through the first-half, I thought there was really great potential. The story was layered and somewhat unique, but it was held back by the writing. I’m not sure if it’s an author issue, or just the storytelling concept done poorly, but it felt childish. Constant flashbacks, pointless tangents, character and story inserts that never came back; it all seemed like an attempt to increase word count.
As the novel finishes and gets to its thesis points in the second half, that’s where I started to get my icky feeling. Let’s break it down through each story-line, looking at each character’s story.
Alyssa: I think she’s the only okay character. Her only sin is being boring. She hated her hometown, she left home, was brought back by tragedy, and learned to love the life she once had. Hallmark could file a copyright lawsuit.
The mom (Harriett): A woman who can only parent with the guidance of a magically omniscient self-help author. This was the only character thread that I feel had a partially successful analysis of the anti-social media thesis the author has. She sent out a prayer to her God, and it was answered. She was lulled into a false email relationship with the author, who likely wasn’t even the one responding to her own inbox. It shows how easy it is to hurt someone unintentionally online. If we have access to anyone, even celebrities, is any connection truly meaningful? The problem is that there’s little time committed to this email correspondence. You can feel the desperation in the mom’s writing, yet we only see maybe 10 of the emails she writes, equating to about 25 pages of a 350 page novel.
Ricky: The victim and the perpetrator. There’s not enough of an internal dialogue for him to feel one way or another about him other than the socially awkward closeted gay kid who was bullied into committing a murder-suicide. The effectiveness is about on-par with him mom’s storyline, and follows a similar thread: longing for a meaningful connection with someone you meet online, only for them to fail you when you need them the most. And, just like the mom’s story, very little page space is committed to Ricky’s text conversations with Jeremy, and a good portion of the lines are either pointless inclusions of spelling/grammar corrections or just pure cringe dialogue from Ricky that portrays him as the desperate idiot which does a great disservice to the very real trauma his character is facing.
Corky: A guy who kinda feels like he’s written to be the hero of the story. But would you honor a hero who: 1) pulls a knife on his girlfriend for wanting to leave their hometown, or 2) teaches Ricky that the best way to deal with a bully is to bully them back in an equally traumatizing way? Don’t worry guys, it’s okay, Corky feels really sorry about all of it and even gets back together with Alyssa to show that everything can be forgiven, including domestic violence.
Mark: The ex-friend who got pulled into the wrong crowd. Also, the ex-friend who’s at least 1/4 responsible for the prank that leads to the shooting. Mark’s haunted by the ghost of Ricky, which is reasonable considering he killed himself in front of Mark, but he tells both his therapist and us, through is internal monologues, that he doesn’t feel guilty about the prank. The only thing that helps him get over his hallucinations is falling in love with a girl from school. Not to mention he carries around a drawing of Ricky and the dog that they pranked him with where the two of them are happy together(?) and that’s supposed to be some sweet, cathartic image for both him and Alyssa. It’s despicable and vile, and honestly just confusing.
Claire: The young SJW who is very, very confused. This character almost feels like a bastardization of liberals in a gross way. She joins a social justice group to help fight homophobia in her community after Ricky’s death, but is turned into a raging lunatic once she learns about micro-aggressions that happen towards her on a daily basis. So, she takes the only logical step, and decides that the best way to get revenge on those who pranked Ricky is to make Mark fall in love with her, incapacitate him with alcohol, then sexually assault him while he’s passed out and embarrass him online. But, again, don’t worry, she doesn’t follow through with the plan because she sees Mark as this pitiful guy in recovery and she feels really guilty over it. And then they actually fall in love and start dating, which is totally okay and normal.
Quick tangent for a minor character Alexandra B: I’m pretty sure this woman was also trying to groom Claire. The conversations seemed a little too intimate and she had a little too much longing to chat with this 17 year old high schooler. But there was never any exploration into this idea, almost like we as the readers are expected to think of it as something normal in this world.
Jeremy: This is where I lose my mind. His boyfriend, Craig, is a bad person. That much is clear from both the characters and the author. He’s the embodiment of anti-technology gone too far while also being too selfish to see how it affects the guy he supposedly loves. However, he sets Jeremy on this path to prove that you can have a meaningful connection with someone on the internet, which leads Jeremy to Ricky.
This. Is. Grooming.
This. Is. Pedophilic.
And the author justifies it.
Even after Ricky admits that he’s in high school, Jeremy still keeps chatting. Even though Jeremy is never going to visit Ricky or have Ricky visit him, he still keeps chatting. Even though he’s a complete emotional brick wall for Ricky to chat to, Jeremy still keeps chatting.
But, just like everyone else, it’s okay because he feels really guilty about it, and he decides to atone for his sin by stalking Ricky’s sister and falling in love with her.
We’re just getting started with him though. Here are some other things he does:
-Sexually assaults his ex-boyfriend while they were still together (pg. 51)
-Confesses to his friends that he’s talking to a high school kid on Man-Date (Grindr)
-Confesses to his ex-boyfriend that he’s talking to a high school kid on Man-Date (Grindr)
-Feels a very creepy urge to be a father figure to Alyssa’s child 48 hours into meeting her
-Gives his Man-Date (Grindr) messages with Ricky to Ricky’s sister, with no indication that any of the old messages were ever deleted, WHICH MEANS, he gave Alyssa nudes of her brother
And after all of this, he’s still written as a sympathetic character, or at least someone we’re supposed to feel sympathy for. Regardless of how we feel about him, the other characters forgive him, with the Man-Date messages acting as another form of emotional catharsis for Alyssa. The literal proof that this man groomed her brother, and contributed to his mental health spiral that led to his death, is played as a sweet heartfelt moment that closes out the novel.
Part of me thinks that this is all a poorly-made satire, that we’re supposed to hate all the characters and think of the whole conceit as a disgusting joke. There are two problems with that thesis though. The book is not funny, and a school shooting murder suicide is not a good satirical topic. Which leads me back to the feeling that this book is evil. If all of this is written seriously, what is the author saying? He’s clearly anti-social media, but this is explored in a very creepy and convoluted way. One way this could’ve been improved is if Jeremy was a similarly-aged pen pal. The concept of online emotional gaslighting would’ve been the exact same. And every instance of assault (whether it was completed or not) was completely unnecessary.
Something about this just felt… evil. Through the first-half, I thought there was really great potential. The story was layered and somewhat unique, but it was held back by the writing. I’m not sure if it’s an author issue, or just the storytelling concept done poorly, but it felt childish. Constant flashbacks, pointless tangents, character and story inserts that never came back; it all seemed like an attempt to increase word count.
As the novel finishes and gets to its thesis points in the second half, that’s where I started to get my icky feeling. Let’s break it down through each story-line, looking at each character’s story.
Alyssa: I think she’s the only okay character. Her only sin is being boring. She hated her hometown, she left home, was brought back by tragedy, and learned to love the life she once had. Hallmark could file a copyright lawsuit.
The mom (Harriett): A woman who can only parent with the guidance of a magically omniscient self-help author. This was the only character thread that I feel had a partially successful analysis of the anti-social media thesis the author has. She sent out a prayer to her God, and it was answered. She was lulled into a false email relationship with the author, who likely wasn’t even the one responding to her own inbox. It shows how easy it is to hurt someone unintentionally online. If we have access to anyone, even celebrities, is any connection truly meaningful? The problem is that there’s little time committed to this email correspondence. You can feel the desperation in the mom’s writing, yet we only see maybe 10 of the emails she writes, equating to about 25 pages of a 350 page novel.
Ricky: The victim and the perpetrator. There’s not enough of an internal dialogue for him to feel one way or another about him other than the socially awkward closeted gay kid who was bullied into committing a murder-suicide. The effectiveness is about on-par with him mom’s storyline, and follows a similar thread: longing for a meaningful connection with someone you meet online, only for them to fail you when you need them the most. And, just like the mom’s story, very little page space is committed to Ricky’s text conversations with Jeremy, and a good portion of the lines are either pointless inclusions of spelling/grammar corrections or just pure cringe dialogue from Ricky that portrays him as the desperate idiot which does a great disservice to the very real trauma his character is facing.
Corky: A guy who kinda feels like he’s written to be the hero of the story. But would you honor a hero who: 1) pulls a knife on his girlfriend for wanting to leave their hometown, or 2) teaches Ricky that the best way to deal with a bully is to bully them back in an equally traumatizing way? Don’t worry guys, it’s okay, Corky feels really sorry about all of it and even gets back together with Alyssa to show that everything can be forgiven, including domestic violence.
Mark: The ex-friend who got pulled into the wrong crowd. Also, the ex-friend who’s at least 1/4 responsible for the prank that leads to the shooting. Mark’s haunted by the ghost of Ricky, which is reasonable considering he killed himself in front of Mark, but he tells both his therapist and us, through is internal monologues, that he doesn’t feel guilty about the prank. The only thing that helps him get over his hallucinations is falling in love with a girl from school. Not to mention he carries around a drawing of Ricky and the dog that they pranked him with where the two of them are happy together(?) and that’s supposed to be some sweet, cathartic image for both him and Alyssa. It’s despicable and vile, and honestly just confusing.
Claire: The young SJW who is very, very confused. This character almost feels like a bastardization of liberals in a gross way. She joins a social justice group to help fight homophobia in her community after Ricky’s death, but is turned into a raging lunatic once she learns about micro-aggressions that happen towards her on a daily basis. So, she takes the only logical step, and decides that the best way to get revenge on those who pranked Ricky is to make Mark fall in love with her, incapacitate him with alcohol, then sexually assault him while he’s passed out and embarrass him online. But, again, don’t worry, she doesn’t follow through with the plan because she sees Mark as this pitiful guy in recovery and she feels really guilty over it. And then they actually fall in love and start dating, which is totally okay and normal.
Quick tangent for a minor character Alexandra B: I’m pretty sure this woman was also trying to groom Claire. The conversations seemed a little too intimate and she had a little too much longing to chat with this 17 year old high schooler. But there was never any exploration into this idea, almost like we as the readers are expected to think of it as something normal in this world.
Jeremy: This is where I lose my mind. His boyfriend, Craig, is a bad person. That much is clear from both the characters and the author. He’s the embodiment of anti-technology gone too far while also being too selfish to see how it affects the guy he supposedly loves. However, he sets Jeremy on this path to prove that you can have a meaningful connection with someone on the internet, which leads Jeremy to Ricky.
This. Is. Grooming.
This. Is. Pedophilic.
And the author justifies it.
Even after Ricky admits that he’s in high school, Jeremy still keeps chatting. Even though Jeremy is never going to visit Ricky or have Ricky visit him, he still keeps chatting. Even though he’s a complete emotional brick wall for Ricky to chat to, Jeremy still keeps chatting.
But, just like everyone else, it’s okay because he feels really guilty about it, and he decides to atone for his sin by stalking Ricky’s sister and falling in love with her.
We’re just getting started with him though. Here are some other things he does:
-Sexually assaults his ex-boyfriend while they were still together (pg. 51)
-Confesses to his friends that he’s talking to a high school kid on Man-Date (Grindr)
-Confesses to his ex-boyfriend that he’s talking to a high school kid on Man-Date (Grindr)
-Feels a very creepy urge to be a father figure to Alyssa’s child 48 hours into meeting her
-Gives his Man-Date (Grindr) messages with Ricky to Ricky’s sister, with no indication that any of the old messages were ever deleted, WHICH MEANS, he gave Alyssa nudes of her brother
And after all of this, he’s still written as a sympathetic character, or at least someone we’re supposed to feel sympathy for. Regardless of how we feel about him, the other characters forgive him, with the Man-Date messages acting as another form of emotional catharsis for Alyssa. The literal proof that this man groomed her brother, and contributed to his mental health spiral that led to his death, is played as a sweet heartfelt moment that closes out the novel.
Part of me thinks that this is all a poorly-made satire, that we’re supposed to hate all the characters and think of the whole conceit as a disgusting joke. There are two problems with that thesis though. The book is not funny, and a school shooting murder suicide is not a good satirical topic. Which leads me back to the feeling that this book is evil. If all of this is written seriously, what is the author saying? He’s clearly anti-social media, but this is explored in a very creepy and convoluted way. One way this could’ve been improved is if Jeremy was a similarly-aged pen pal. The concept of online emotional gaslighting would’ve been the exact same. And every instance of assault (whether it was completed or not) was completely unnecessary.
January 2, 2018
Sad, haunting story of the events leading up to and the aftermath of a teen murder/suicide. I like the multiple pov's, which are also differentiated using various writing formats. This book gives you a lot to think about, and not to say that you sympathize with a killer necessarily, but being aware of the damage bullying causes is certainly a point the book makes clear. We are also witness to people in his circle coming to terms with signs they missed, and what they might have done to stop this, and how it has affected their lives as well. It's sad, yes, but also hopeful in that it shows healing, and people choosing new directions in their own lives. This would be an interesting choice for a book club selection, with its multiple issues and many discussion points.
*I won this book as a Goodreads Giveaway.
*I won this book as a Goodreads Giveaway.
February 14, 2019
I’m so happy I finally got around to reading this. I knew it would be something I’d really enjoy from the time I read the synopsis over a year ago.
The Lost Prayers of Ricky Graves is a heartrending exploration of grief and loss in the aftermath of tragedy and how technology both draws us closer and muddies up our lives in the wake of this tragedy.
The idea of reading a story from six intertwining point of views, including email and chat room transcripts, but NEVER hearing directly from the actual subject of the story is incredible and really drives home the finality of death, something obvious yet something that I really hadn’t considered before. We have a portrait of Ricky Graves being painted for us by a group of other characters, mixed in with transcripts of chats he had with an online friend, and we painfully yearn to hear from him to explain his actions and his feelings. But we can’t. And we won’t. And that’s one of the more hard hitting and strangely beautiful things about this book.
When I finished, I felt devastated, hopeful, and maybe most importantly, a bit haunted by Ricky Graves.
This is everything I wanted it to be.
I’m bad at reviews lol.
The Lost Prayers of Ricky Graves is a heartrending exploration of grief and loss in the aftermath of tragedy and how technology both draws us closer and muddies up our lives in the wake of this tragedy.
The idea of reading a story from six intertwining point of views, including email and chat room transcripts, but NEVER hearing directly from the actual subject of the story is incredible and really drives home the finality of death, something obvious yet something that I really hadn’t considered before. We have a portrait of Ricky Graves being painted for us by a group of other characters, mixed in with transcripts of chats he had with an online friend, and we painfully yearn to hear from him to explain his actions and his feelings. But we can’t. And we won’t. And that’s one of the more hard hitting and strangely beautiful things about this book.
When I finished, I felt devastated, hopeful, and maybe most importantly, a bit haunted by Ricky Graves.
This is everything I wanted it to be.
I’m bad at reviews lol.
December 1, 2017
I received this book through Kindle First. I chose it over the others because I felt the topic had great potential. Unfortunately I was incredibly disappointed. The story follows a murder-suicide by a young man in a small New England town. Each chapter jumps from character to character in First Person narratives. I've read multiple stories written in that fashion and believe it can be an interesting approach. But in this book I feel the author went overboard making his characters appear as shallow idiots. Instead of creating characters readers could connect with and root for, he created a series of irritating ones you didn't care to know more about.
The story's concept had great potential but fell completely flat. The characters were stereotypical and under developed. In many places the author started on a good path but the ideas just seemed to fizzle out. And the more I think about it the more this book feels like a poor rip off of 'Thirteen Reasons Why.'
The story's concept had great potential but fell completely flat. The characters were stereotypical and under developed. In many places the author started on a good path but the ideas just seemed to fizzle out. And the more I think about it the more this book feels like a poor rip off of 'Thirteen Reasons Why.'
November 12, 2017
A truly exceptional, touching, and "powerful-new-voice-in-fiction" novel. Highly recommended.
September 10, 2021
(This is really more 3.5/5 for me, but I rounded down because of a lack of fondness for YA first person fiction overall, and for some messaging that I would brush off in adult fiction but that I am a little more suspicious of in books aimed at teens.)
I read this debut novel after enjoying everything about this author's upcoming release, Reprieve. There are similarities here, but mostly reading this book feels like seeing how the author has grown as a writer in the interim. There are similarities, namely a young gay male central character, in a community in which he feels stifled and unable to be safe in exploring his sexuality, attaching to an older man who lives far away and dreaming of joining him there. In this book, that character is the titular one, who is the victim of a callous prank that is then posted on social media, and who responds by shooting two of the perpetrators and then himself. The book intrigues me, because it doesn't spend hardly any time talking about the murdered boy, other than to cement him as a bully and an asshole. We do spend time with the surviving boy, who also is a bit of an ass but who is suffering severely from PTSD since the shooting. But most of the book, through dual timeline shifting POVs and formats, explores Ricky's isolation and growing desperation. I think choosing to focus the book on the murdering boy was risky, in that there's a strong possibility it would come off as justifying his act; at the end of the book, I think that was mostly avoided, although I did feel sad for Ricky, but mostly, I just didn't like him. And maybe this is my own taste getting in the way of being entirely fair, but I struggled to connect with Ricky; while I felt for him, I was also incredibly annoyed by him, to the point of wondering why Jeremy was still trying to help him.
While I'm talking about my lack of interest in YA fiction, I'll address another thing that kind of ties in to that : I firmly believe that fiction should be able to be amoral, and (with proper advance notice given to potential readers) be given the freedom to explore the darkest and most difficult topics and experiences fully. That said, I do think fiction aimed at teens should still have a subtle hand on the wheel in guidance. So I am a little disappointed that this book has a grown man interacting with someone who he knows is a minor online, when it is clear the minor is attracted to him (and even sends him explicit pictures) and the adult doesn't shut it down, nor does anyone in the book really question the appropriateness of these conversations. Further, there is a chapter that takes place in a sex shop, and the amount of kink and sex shaming may ring true with the character whose POV we are in, but it was also never pushed back on; the sex shop was presented as literally filthy, a place in which one is dirty to enter and should be ashamed to be interested in. I wish there had been a way to push back on that, or if not, at least to have tamped it down. I think the target audience of this book will internalize these stances and behaviors as appropriate, and IMO neither of them are.
The above makes it seem like I didn't like this book, but the truth is, I mostly did! I do think the author has improved, especially in how he writes teen girls and young women; the affectations he used here for two characters felt intentionally cut and paste, not genuine to the character. In Reprieve, however, I think the teen girl MC is magnificent. I appreciated that the author explored different experiences of grief, both through the catalyst of the murder-suicide, but also through Jeremy's difficult breakup (I found Jeremy very compelling in his pain, his desperation, his desire to Do Good). I thought he did interesting things with the shifting POV, notably in introducing Corky through Alyssa before we spend time in his POV (and what a great character he is, too!). But overall, I liked this exploration of something awful, both how it happened and its aftermath, and I liked the concept of exploring connection in a digital world, which is only becoming more and more relevant of a topic. I am looking forward to reading whatever the author writes next.
I read this debut novel after enjoying everything about this author's upcoming release, Reprieve. There are similarities here, but mostly reading this book feels like seeing how the author has grown as a writer in the interim. There are similarities, namely a young gay male central character, in a community in which he feels stifled and unable to be safe in exploring his sexuality, attaching to an older man who lives far away and dreaming of joining him there. In this book, that character is the titular one, who is the victim of a callous prank that is then posted on social media, and who responds by shooting two of the perpetrators and then himself. The book intrigues me, because it doesn't spend hardly any time talking about the murdered boy, other than to cement him as a bully and an asshole. We do spend time with the surviving boy, who also is a bit of an ass but who is suffering severely from PTSD since the shooting. But most of the book, through dual timeline shifting POVs and formats, explores Ricky's isolation and growing desperation. I think choosing to focus the book on the murdering boy was risky, in that there's a strong possibility it would come off as justifying his act; at the end of the book, I think that was mostly avoided, although I did feel sad for Ricky, but mostly, I just didn't like him. And maybe this is my own taste getting in the way of being entirely fair, but I struggled to connect with Ricky; while I felt for him, I was also incredibly annoyed by him, to the point of wondering why Jeremy was still trying to help him.
While I'm talking about my lack of interest in YA fiction, I'll address another thing that kind of ties in to that : I firmly believe that fiction should be able to be amoral, and (with proper advance notice given to potential readers) be given the freedom to explore the darkest and most difficult topics and experiences fully. That said, I do think fiction aimed at teens should still have a subtle hand on the wheel in guidance. So I am a little disappointed that this book has a grown man interacting with someone who he knows is a minor online, when it is clear the minor is attracted to him (and even sends him explicit pictures) and the adult doesn't shut it down, nor does anyone in the book really question the appropriateness of these conversations. Further, there is a chapter that takes place in a sex shop, and the amount of kink and sex shaming may ring true with the character whose POV we are in, but it was also never pushed back on; the sex shop was presented as literally filthy, a place in which one is dirty to enter and should be ashamed to be interested in. I wish there had been a way to push back on that, or if not, at least to have tamped it down. I think the target audience of this book will internalize these stances and behaviors as appropriate, and IMO neither of them are.
The above makes it seem like I didn't like this book, but the truth is, I mostly did! I do think the author has improved, especially in how he writes teen girls and young women; the affectations he used here for two characters felt intentionally cut and paste, not genuine to the character. In Reprieve, however, I think the teen girl MC is magnificent. I appreciated that the author explored different experiences of grief, both through the catalyst of the murder-suicide, but also through Jeremy's difficult breakup (I found Jeremy very compelling in his pain, his desperation, his desire to Do Good). I thought he did interesting things with the shifting POV, notably in introducing Corky through Alyssa before we spend time in his POV (and what a great character he is, too!). But overall, I liked this exploration of something awful, both how it happened and its aftermath, and I liked the concept of exploring connection in a digital world, which is only becoming more and more relevant of a topic. I am looking forward to reading whatever the author writes next.
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