Lola Dances

by Victor J. Banis

From the bestselling author of 'Longhorns'. Sometimes funny, sometimes tragic and often bawdy, Lola Dances ranges from the 1850 slums of the Bowery to the mining camps of California and Montana, to the Barbary Coast of San Francisco. Little Terry Murphy, pretty and effeminate, dreams of becoming a dancer. Raped by a drunken profligate and threatened with prison, Terry flees the Bowery and finds himself in the rugged settlement of Alder Gulch, where he stands out like a sore thumb among the camp's macho inhabitants--until the day he puts on a dress and dances for the unsuspecting miners as beautiful Lola Valdez--and wins fame, fortune and, ultimately, love.

Genres: M M Romance, Historical, LGBT, M M Historical Romance, Romance, Westerns, Abuse

231 pages, Paperback

First published February 1, 2008

About the author

Victor J. Banis is a writer. http://www.vjbanisauthor.com/

Victor Jerome Banis (May 25, 1937 – February 22, 2019) was an American author, often associated with the first wave of west coast gay writing. For his contributions he has been called "the godfather of modern popular gay fiction

Reviews

[Nancy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cross-posted at Outlaw Reviews and at Shelf Inflicted

Little Terry Murphy grew up poor in the rough Lower East Side of New York, and wants nothing more than to be a dancer. His small stature and effeminate appearance make him the target of bullies and the unwanted attention of a wealthy stranger who lurks outside his dressing room after practice. In the 19th century, not only was homosexuality considered immoral, it was also illegal. In order to avoid arrest, Terry and his tough, bad-tempered brother, Brian, flee the Bowery and head out west. While looking for work at a local saloon, Terry finally achieves his dream of becoming a dancer with the abrupt departure of the saloon’s main act. With a skilled application of make-up and an assortment of costumes, Terry is transformed into Lola Valdez, who becomes an overnight success in a small mining community. After a murder, Terry is again on the run, this time to San Francisco. Terry continues to be a hit as Lola Valdez. Despite Terry’s wealth and success, he is lonely and wants to be loved.

Terry’s earlier sexual encounters were fraught with guilt, shame and secrecy. Through an unexpected turn of events, and knowledge of his own heart, Terry finally finds the love and happiness he deserves.

Lola Dances is a suspenseful, gripping and heartwrenching story, rich with historical details and believable characters. I enjoyed the growth of Terry's character as he matures from a shy boy living in a harsh and violent environment, to a self-confident performer, to a young man who knows what he wants out of life and love.

[Lyn❤Loves❤Listening to Real Voices Only!!!!❤️🎧📚 Addict ON HIATUS · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 WTF kind of ending is that??? stars

I read this book with my heart breaking for a little guy named Terry who wants to become a dancer, who wants to be loved, who is confused about who he is, who is raped, bullied into a sexual relationship with his pig of a brother, and is sexually harassed it seems at every turn. Okay, so I’m holding on because Terry becomes Lola and she becomes more confident and assertive. It takes forever, but she FINALLY finds a man that loves her as both Terry and Lola. I started to smile because the assholes who hurt her, get what’s coming to them (thank you for feeding my vengeful side Mr. Banis). And then the ending happens. It’s abrupt and unsatisfying. Again, WTF?

I was already going to subtract 1 star because, as interesting as the story was, it was more angst than romance (hardly no romance at all). The ending has me subtracting an additional 1.5 stars. If I’m going to suffer heartache by reading the detailed suffering of a main character, I need a fulfilling HEA, not a suggested one.

[Daisiemae · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I read a book written by the iconic Victor Banis I know that I am going to go through all kinds of emotions while being engrossed in his stories. He makes me experience everything from absolute joy, to gut wrenching sadness with all of the books I have read by him. (Read This Splendid Earth written by Mr. Banis. Talk about a tear jerker, but oh soo good! Whew!) Victor is the master at pulling you into the world he creates and he doesn’t let up until the very last word.

Lola Dances is no exception. After much consideration, I have decided not to get into a description of the storyline. It has been done so well by others here on goodreads, I would just be repeating what others have said before me. But, there are a few things I would like to say about it.

First let me say that this in NOT your typical gay romance novel. It is much more than that. If you are looking for a quick, easy and fun filled read, this book is not for you. Although, Lola Dances is addictive to read from the very first word, it is not an easy read. The complexity of all of the characters written in this book, and the trials and tribulations they go through, especially our hero Terry/Lola, made me bring out the tissues on more than one occasion throughout the story.

Terry’s character goes through so much throughout this book. He does not have an easy life. He survives abuse in many forms; physical, sexual and emotional throughout this book. But, I want to stress that Terry is a survivor. He is an easy character to love. His strength to follow his dreams and better himself despite what others have done to him, makes him stronger than most heroes/characters I have read about in a long time.

Watching Terry transform himself into Lola was amazing. Lola is everything Terry is not, but yet they are one in the same. Lola is confident, Terry is not. Lola is bold and outgoing, Terry is shy and quiet. It was astounding to me that even though they were so different; I never once thought that they were not one in the same.

What I thought was brilliant about this story was Terry/Lola’s character really does evolve throughout this book. He does grow and learn, yes he makes mistakes and maybe doesn’t make all the right choices, but in the end he is able to make the right decision and follows his heart.

It’s not all about Terry/Lola not finding love. He does from someone who loves him for who he is.

I don’t want to give anything away, so that’s all I am going to say about this wonderful book. Yes, it may not be for everyone, but those who chose to read it, will be so glad you did.

5 stars

[Otila · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5

Terry Murphy is a poor orphan living in the 1850s slums of New York. He dreams of being a dancer and spends the little money he makes taking lessons at a small studio in his neighborhood. His pretty and effeminate looks attract unwanted attention from bullies and from a rich man looking to make Terry his lover. After Terry's raped, his brother Brian, takes him to the gold mines out west in order to avoid jail for Terry. Brian keeps Terry isolated in their cabin believing him too different from the macho and rugged miners and not wanting the same kind of "problems" they had in New York (Brian's a dick, to put it mildly) . Circumstances lead Terry to a job at the local bar, where he ends up dancing for the miners as Lola Valdez. Lola is everything Terry isn't. She's confident, assertive, loved and accepted.

I loved Terry and Lola. I loved watching Terry become Lola and gain strength and self-assurance from her. All Terry wants is to love and be loved. As Terry, he was never able to find it, but as Lola, she feels she might have found a way to fill the void with the adoration of the crowd and maybe even winning the man of her dreams. It takes someone from Terry's past for her to realize that someone can love them both, if only she'll let him.

This is a wonderfully written and beautiful story. But it's not an easy read. There's rape, incest, dub-con and sex between two extremely unlikable characters. If you can deal with that, then it's so very worth it. I highly recommend it.

[Eden Winters · Rating 5 out of 5]

For me the true sign of solid, believable characters and story is when they stay with me long after I've finished the book. And if I find myself channeling a character? Then bravo to the author for so thoroughly pulling me into the world they created. I don't believe I've cheered so hard for a happy ending as I did for Terry/Lola. He'd been through so much that when he finally found what he wanted, he threw up a wall against it, in the form of a memory grown sweeter with time.

And the divide between Terry and Lola, two distinctly different people in the same body? Possibly my favorite part of the book is watching them pull closer until, rather than be separate, they are merely facets of the same very interesting personality.

There's many heart-tugging scenes, but Jake's dying wish brought tears, and had me wondering so much about that character and his true feelings for Terry/Lola.

This isn't exactly what I'd consider typical m/m romance. Its just a fantastic story, in which the main character happens to be gay. And in the old west. Be warned, there is rape, non-con, dub-con, and incest, all delicately handled by Mr. Banis. Then, after sending me on an emotional roller coaster ride, the author nailed the ending. Lawdy, did he ever. Great characters, great plot, great story. Highly recommended.

[Collette · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love it when a book takes me through the emotional spectrum and this book did it for me. It had substance to it. I really enjoyed that it was more about the horrible trials and finally the triumph that Terry experiences. The sex was not the focal point in this book although it's certainly present.

[Aleksandr Voinov]

Overall, I enjoyed this sometimes pulp-ish coming-of-age story of a crossdressing character who bounces back from adversity and finds a hidden strength that nobody thought he/she possessed. I’m catching myself thinking this could actually make a pretty good film, too.

[Dee Wy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Though I found it difficult to read about Terry's depressing early life with a self-absorbed and abusive brother, by staying with the story I was greatly rewarded for my perseverance.

Rest assured there is a happy ending to this tale. It's just that Mr. Banis makes you work for it. I have a feeling this is one of those books that will stay with me for a long while. Well written with memorable characters. 4.5 stars

[Miz Love · Rating 5 out of 5]

Have you ever read a story that, as you progressed into it, you grew deeply attached to a character because your recognized yourself in them? The character could not surprise you because you knew them so intimately that you could predict every move, every tear, every smile, every pain. Some kinetic connection endeared the character to you, making it impossible to separate the fictional soul from reality.


I’m struggling to describe the impact made by my newest—and by far most unconventional—favorite hero. Little Terry Murphy from Victor J. Banis’ Lola Dances. Or, as readers will also come to know and love him—his other persona, dancer Lola Valdez.


I first met Terry Murphy in an area that’s iconic in American history—the brawling, sprawling, gritty bowels of early New York’s Bowery.


He’s a small, feminine, timid, spectacles-wearing aspiring dancer. And he’s beautiful, with a dancer’s figure, longer-than-fashionable dark curls, big doe’s eyes.


Young Terry attracts a good deal of unwelcome attention from other men with his dark, fragile appearance, and his commute by foot from his dwelling to the dance studio where he practices is much like Red Riding Hood traversing through a forest of leering wolves.


Terry befriends a charismatic red-headed, emerald-eyed young Irishman named Tom Finnegan. An “almost” encounter with Finnegan stirs mixed feelings in Terry’s gut. Attraction—or is it simply the warmth and beauty of his new friend’s protectiveness? Is it merely the craving of a gentle touch, someone who truly sees the little hero as a human, as a friend? Terry senses there is an attraction from Tom as well, but doesn’t act on the bewildering feelings—both emotional and physical—that stir inside him.


Terry’s delicate beauty does prove irresistible to a rich admirer who forms an obsession with the young dancer and who rapes the shy boy. As always, I won’t go into the story much, only enough to say that this atrocity against our hero causes his brother Brian to pick up roots and move out west with Terry to a mining settlement—to seek anonymity as well as a fortune in gold dust.


Here, in Alder Gulch, little Terry Murphy’s life takes an interesting turn—a turn that brings him full circle, right into the big fat middle of himself.


First of all—and I would not dare to spoil the story by divulging the character’s identity—Terry finds himself, snowed in during the bitter winter snows—giving himself sexually to an extremely unlikely bed partner. The partner, a virile, rugged, extreme homophobic, rationalizes that the unavoidable circumstances—and the fact that women are a scarcity in Alder Gulch—naturally make it necessary to use little Terry sexually to satisfy a very lusty libido.


The shocker, though? All right, I already identified with Terry Murphy from the beginning of the book. Shy. Outsider. Dreamer. Wanting something unattainable, but never really knowing what that something was.


But what touched me was Terry’s willingness—his almost pitiful willingness—to succumb to his unusual bed partner, somehow finding in bits and pieces through this arrangement that the “missing” thing was nothing more than to be needed.


Beautiful little Terry even began to convince himself that this odd sexual situation was a sort of love. If he gave himself unselfishly to this person who needed him so, somehow this was love in one of its forms. He was content with this, and—even at this point in the story—he began to draw confidence from this, from this illusion of intimacy that came with this partnering.


During this most unusual relationship, Terry meets a young miner, Josh Simmons, who is the most handsome man our hero has ever seen. Terry is immediately in love. Head over heels. Infatuated. Obsessed?


Driven by this powerful attraction, by some overwhelming need, Terry stalks Simmons, and one night, in the privacy of the dark, surprises the gorgeous miner with a sexual offering.


Again, during this encounter, we get a deep glimpse into Terry’s eagerness to show love the only way he knows how—with his body. And the odd beauty of it all is that we see this sacrifice through Terry’s affection-starved vision. We understand his hunger for love and it seems so very logical.


And we, or this reader anyway, saw with raw clarity that Terry is not so different from most of us. It’s a painful revelation to recognize the neediness, but it’s also liberating to realize that this craving for affection is normal.


Through a set of circumstances, Terry is thrown into a situation which ultimately turns out to be his human, emotional breakthrough. He replaces a female dancer in a saloon—makeup, dress, the whole nine yards—and is transformed into the stunning, sensual, spicy dancer Lola Valdez. He is an instant success.


And this, his transformation, is where I fall hopelessly, madly in love with—oh, damn, yes, I have to admit it—the woman, Lola, right along with every miner in Alder Gulch.


That’s all I’ll tell you about the story details.


The story is Lola. It is Terry Murphy. I love them both equally. I’m attracted to them both equally. I relate to them both equally. They are me. They are every man, every woman.


My heart soared, my heart ached—but in a delirious, happy way—when Lola danced on the stage, when love-drunk miners threw money at her feet. My gut wrenched with beautiful spasms when Lola Valdez—or Terry Murphy?—realized how it felt to be loved, to be wanted, to be needed.


If you’re one who’s never felt, even for a moment, the need to be accepted, to be loved, you will not “get” this story. If you are, you will close its pages at The End and you’ll sigh, and you’ll cry, and you’ll feel comfort knowing that it is all right to want to be needed. That it’s not selfish to want that attention, that it’s just a basic part of our human make-up and is, in fact, essential.


If you ever thought there was no such thing as love at first sight, you’ll know through Terry Murphy’s eyes that you are wrong. Whether that love lasts is another matter, but you will believe it does happen.


The most important beauty that I gleaned from this book was that—and it’s admitting what most think is a human frailty, but I wonder now—that maybe it’s not so wrong to offer ourselves emotionally and sexually without asking anything in return. In this modern age, the philosophy for our own empowerment seems to be that we must NOT submit ourselves so, that it is demeaning, that sex must always be equal. Sometimes, in that need to fulfil our own emptiness, we do just that—we do not ask for reciprocation. We just take what we are offered and make do. While it may not be the best for our self-esteem, it may not be the best at all…it still doesn’t make us wrong to do so. I learned that from Terry Murphy.


I learned a lot from Terry and Lola. But one thing, for sure, was that what our hearts dictate can’t really be compartmentalized into right or wrong. It just is what it is.


Victor Banis said: Yes, I've always loved little Terry. When I wrote the transformation scene, when he first danced for the miners, I was bawling like a baby, and I still can't read it without tearing up. That longing for love— don't we all know how that feels?


Victor’s beautiful words conveyed his emotions vividly, maybe almost too vividly. Because what he felt, the power of the feelings he felt while creating these memorable characters were universal. The sadness, joy, love and beauty he felt are the core of life that we all have in common…as he said, the longing for love.


While a painful though intriguing journey Terry endured, I still closed the book with a smile. Because his pain was not in vain. He found love.

[Elisa Rolle]

Sometimes I would be able to have more words in English to describe a book, cause I really want to transfer to you the joy and the emotion I felt reading it.

Lola Dances is not a simple book. It's a powerful novel, and it's strong but real. Terry is a skinny Irish guy in the Bowery of New York, with a dream: he wants to be a dancer. He loves all the thing that are artistic, like the opera he eavesdrops outside Castle Garden in Battery Park, or the beautiful dresses he sees on the stage. He has a lean body and he knows he can be a dancer. Even if he has to suffer the mocks of the other guys. But even if those guys moleste him, he sees among them a young guy, Tom, who looks at him with hungry eyes full of... desire? Is it possible? Terry doesn't know nothing about sex and even if he knows that in the Bowery there are places where men who want men can go, he has never imagined that someone could really want him.

And so he is totally unprepared when a spoilt child of a wealthy family rapes him. He doesn't know how to react and decides to face him openly, but he ends being accuse of blackmailed. Tom helps him and he would be even willing to help him more, cause he has feelings for Terry, feelings that nor him or Terry can place. But Terry can't believe in the gentle eyes of Tom and he runs away. His brother Brian, even if he believes it's all fault of Terry, brings him on the wild moutains, on a miner small town.

Here Brian takes Terry as a beaten housekeeper, and after some time, also him rapes Terry, and continue to do that for months. In his misery, Terry finds another dream to clinge to not fall apart: he falls in love for Joshua, who lives near Terry's cabin. Joshua seems interested in Terry, but he can't move on the fact that Terry is a man.

When life for Brian and Terry go worst than ever, Terry makes an hazard move: when the saloon's singer of the twon leaves suddently her work, Terry takes her place on the stage, disguises himself with the features of Lola Valdez, a singer and a dancer. Success strucks immediately, and Terry manages also to have a night with Joshua, but the morning after he discovers that Joshua and Brian have left the town together and Terry is loney again. But now Terry is not more an helpless boy, now he is Lola, SHE is Lola, and fortune smiles on her.

Years after she arrives in San Francisco, wealthy and beloved, and she finds again Tom... But Tom is her first love, of it's Joshua who helds the key of her heart? And Tom wants Lola or Terry?

This is a wonderful rides along the ups and downs of Terry's life, and you will feel sorry for him, but also happy for his fortune. Terry is a shy guy, and strangely he seems to acquire strenght when he wears Lola's dress: where like a man he can't protect himself, like Lola she is the master of her destiny.

All the men in Terry's life, Tom, Brian, Joshua, will help to forge the man who will become Terry, but only the one who wants nothing from him if not is love, will be the one who will have him forever.

Even if I'm not an expert of that part if history, I think the book is wonderfully detailed, and also the use of words is carefully crafted. For example it's tender to see the change in Terry's speaking from the poor boy of the Bowery to the dance star of the Barbary Coast.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00140FXZ2/?...

[Brenda Maldonado · Rating 5 out of 5]

5+ Stars Unforgettable!

Terry is a slight, effeminate boy growing up in The Bowery in the 1850s. He dreams of becoming a famous dancer and pursues that dream with single minded determination. While his physical appearance and regular dance lessons make him an easy target, being the younger brother of one of The Bowery's toughest provides a modicum of protection. Somehow Terry manages to scrape a living, nurture his dream and remain innocent of the harsher realities of life until a rough encounter with an arrogant, wealthy young man brings an end to Terry's innocence and marks the beginning of a literal and figurative quest for success, happiness and ultimately freedom.

Lola Dances is not your average m/m story. It is a wonderful saga about a gay man's journey of self-discovery and empowerment. It is not a "pretty" story, but rather a gritty, no nonsense tale. The author does not shy away from portraying the ugly realities of life, not for shock value, but because every scene adds a layer of meaning to Terry's character and builds the foundation for the new person Terry becomes. I admit that half-way through the book I had to put it down for a while to relax a bit. The impact was that strong!

The cast of characters is varied and well written, even secondary characters manage to jump from the page. There is no one evil villain, or maybe there are several. That is to say, the author populates the story with real people, flawed people, and real people can be worse that the worst villain. Ultimately, Victor J. Banis' crowning achievement in this book is the way the character of Terry Murphy is developed. Every event, every interaction, every scene leads to the transformation of Terry and the forging of Lola. It's ironic that a man not only survives but succeeds in what was the ultimate man's world through awesome girl power. Yet it works because Lola is not a "costume". Lola is Terry. Terry and Lola are one but they are not the same and this distinction is masterfully crafted. Terry is grounded in the ugly realities of being a gay man in the "wild west", he wants to be loved and to love in return. Lola draws power from her beauty and strength from Terry's history. She loves her audience and her audience loves her. Without Terry, there could be no Lola and without Lola, Terry wouldn't have survived.

From New York's Bowery through the western mining towns and ultimately to the Barbary Coast, Terry Murphy will pull you into his story, wring your heart and squeeze your soul, and just when you think you can't take it anymore, he'll show you that life is what you make of it, and with a little effort you can make it something you enjoy, even something you love. Thank you Victor J. Banis, for this magnificent story and one absolutely amazing character I won't soon forget.

Lola Dances gets a spot in my best-of-the-best shelf for its absolutely incredible portrayal of a man who becomes a woman and a woman who just happens to be a man in 19th century America. If you haven't read Lola Dances, go buy it now!

[Kayez · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book.

I read the premise and thought... weird.
A cross dressing dancer in the old west? How is that going to work?

Answer it worked very well.

Our Hero/Heroine is Terry a sweet skinny boy from the poor section of New York. He longs to be a dancer, even going without food to pay for his lessons.

Unfortunately Terry attracts the wrong kind of attention, a rich patron corners him backstage and rapes him. Terry had never given any thought to such a thing and is unprepared for the fact that now the man is stalking him. In the 1800's there wasn't anyone to turn too or to protect him. He finally turns to his brother, and they flee like so many west in search of better things.

They don't find it, instead they end up in mining town.
The situation goes from bad to worse for Terry, his brother abuses him nightly and he falls in love with a neighbor.

He doesn't stop though he wants to improve his life and he makes his own opportunities. Terry becomes Lola and she is no mans doll.

As Lola, Terry dances his way through mining towns, earning acclaim, admiration, and a more than steady income. His secret must be keep though, no one can see beyond the surface and see Terry.


Lola finally reaches California and runs into an old friend who knew Terry, who longed for Terry. Who when faced with Lola, loves Terry for who he/she is.

More Reviews - http://kaylez4ever.livejournal.com/fr...

[Arzu · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great read. I don't want to spoil the book for you, but I can tell you this.

Terry is a little skinny Irish boy who wants to be a dancer, but because of his effeminate looks a wealthy stranger rapes and afterwards accuses him of blackmail. He and his brother Brian run away to the mountains and join the Gold Rush.

The situation goes from bad to worse. Brian abuses Terry every night and Terry fels in in love with Joshua. Because of unforeseen circumstances, one night Terry dresses up and becomes Lola Valdez, the rose of the miners, singing, dancing and performing from stage to stage in different little mining towns.

Lola finally reaches California and meets Tom again, a friend who knew Terry and longed for Terry before he became Lola.

Throughout the book, you witness how Terry transforms from the abused little boy to the confident beautiful Lola. Terry goes trough immense emotions and finally finds love.

I really enjoyed this book and recommend it highly!!

[Eon Beaumont · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book surprised me greatly. I have to say I may be biased as I heard Victor read a passage from it and being an avid proponent of cross-dressing and drag it moved me profoundly. Taking that into account, I identified greatly with the main character Terry, though I can't imagine the things that he was subjected to over the course of the story but Victor explained his characters' thoughts and viewpoints so well that I wasn't upset or incredulous at any point. I totally understood the motivations and opinions of the characters. I was pleasantly surprised by the end and very happy that things worked out (in a way) for Terry. This book was wild and unpredictable. A fantastic read from start to finish.

[Steph · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book so much. I love Terry. I found myself engrossed in his story, his pain and everything that he went through. The ending was so perfect, it felt like a movie. This was my first Victor J. Danis book and it will not be my last.

[Madison Parker · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was a bit impatient when I first started reading this story, as I was expecting Lola to appear right off the bat. But looking back on it, I think the pacing was just right. We needed to experience the events leading up to Lola's emergence. Oh, my heart goes out to Terry. So innocent. So naive and lost, looking for love without really knowing what it meant or how to find it. So much hurt, but not realizing at the time how he was being hurt or why. As I was reading, I cared so deeply for Terry and was so fearful that someone would discover his secret. It was very suspenseful, and I found myself very much surprised by certain turns of events. I didn't feel the story was predictable at all, although the ending I was hoping for did in fact occur. I wasn't certain that it would, and I was preparing to kick Terry's arse...

By the way, Terry's first encounter with Tom Flannagan was so sweet and so moving. They didn't even get to first base, and yet, it felt very intimate. I loved that scene.

If you like a good emotional Hurt/Comfort, this one is a keeper.

[Sucajo · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book a little hard to get into at first but all of a sudden I found myself engrossed in the story and desperate to see what would happen to Terry next. At the beginning of the story, Terry is barely making ends meet and trying to achieve his dream of becoming a dancer. His life is about to take a turn for the worse and events force him and his brother to flee their home for the annonymity of the West. The story follows Terry through a number of years as he learns more about who he is and what he wants and deserves from life. His journey is at times heartwrenching but eventually he discovers Lola and he blossoms. I found myself rooting for Terry and angry over his low sense of self-worth. The results of this low opinion of himself were sometimes hard to read but somehow they were all a necessary part of his journey. The book ended just a little too soon for me but other than that I have no complaints.

[Tj · Rating 5 out of 5]

At first I had a really hard time getting into the story. I should have known since I have read book by Victor J. Banis before and had the same trouble. I always forget;)

I found the characters believable and vivid. You could sense how conflicted Terry was through most of the story. The other characters more or less revolved around Terry. The telling all lead back to Terry and the impact it had or would have on him.

The plot was all leading up to seeing Terry discover love and who that love was for. I thought there were times I wanted the story to go faster but I do believe it was necessary to grow the story and make for a natural and more believable progression to the storyline.

Overall a very enjoyable read.

[Ozlem · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars. I was so looking forward to reading this book that I got disappointed at the beginning. Beware of incest, rape, etc. Inspite of all that harassment, there was something real in the story that attracted me. First of all, I realized that I've known selfish people like Brian and Joshua in real life. Terry's stupidness surprised me, but I've done pretty stupid things myself when I was 18, such as trying to please people who aren't worth it. So, near the end I was thinking of giving it 4 stars if it did not end so abruptly. I couldn't believe it just ended. I even wondered if some pages were missing. So, at the end it got 3.5 stars. I recommend it if you can handle reading abuse and if you have a lot of free time.

[Lee Brazil · Rating 5 out of 5]

This may be historical fiction, but it is a timeless slice of humanity as well. You could easily transplant the naive and innocent Terry, the more knowing, but equally innocent Tom, the duplicitous, self hating, abusive Brian, even the clueless arrogant, self loving Joshua to the 21st century. Unfortunately, the only thing you couldn't do would be to have Van Arnsdt get hsi just desserts quite so poetically.

As far as gay romance goes, I loved it.

As far as historical fiction goes, this goes on the shelf with Captains and Kings, East of Eden, North and South, - a story so right in it's interpretation of human nature that you forget you're reading about the past.

[Shanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book had a lot of dangling threads and I started to wonder how it was going to come together but Banis managed to pull it off. While I sometimes felt that the story meandered a bit, in the end I realized that it hadn't it was just the journey the characters needed to take. All of the characters were well developed, even the bad guys and you could see them mature through out the novel. Very well done.

[Clare · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a lot happens to Terry/Lola yet he's never a pathetic victim. His transformation was delightful and you'll be rooting for him as the end of the book approaches. Great prose and wit as always, with more pathos than the Deadly books and the additional fascination of the historical setting.

[Teal Ladybug · Rating 3 out of 5]

Unexpected

Honestly when I read the description I expected something totally different. I was surprised with the way the story developed. I'm not very happy with the cliff ending though. However, all in all it was a good read.

[Muygal · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was actually an interesting story, till the incest parts killed it for me. Yuck!

[s · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5, maybe 4. Difficult to read at times, but I enjoy the setting and the story, though there are parts I disliked very much. Terry is an interesting character, and I honestly pitied him while also finding it hard to like him at times. He's young in the beginning and bullied by his brother, so it's easy to understand why he is naive, passive and makes bad choices. However later, when he has grown and found something close to happiness, he still makes bad choices, hanging onto childish ideas, which makes me dislike him a bit, especially as he at the same time describes a confidence and wit he has achieved from being Lola... It also bothered me that while he was in this moment of happiness with someone who loves him as Terry and Lola, we saw so little of their relationship. In terms of Brian and Joshua, I wish we had seen less of them, as they are both unlikable to me. Lastly, I have seen reviews expressing dislike for the ending, and while it's not my Favourite either, I don't see an issue with it, as I see it as Lola realising how naive she had been, realising who her heart truly belongs to, who truly loves her and how her dream has been fulfilled all along.

[Preeti · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 Stars
★★★★★
I think the best part about this book was that we get to experience all kinds of emotions. Absolute Joy, Jealousy, Disgust, fear, surprise, Anger, Anticipation, Expectation, Trust and what not.
We get to witness the transformation of insecure n abused little Terry into confident Lola.
It was a little hard to get into at first but I am glad that I continued. Though it was a painful journey, we still get to finish the book with smile on our faces.

[Elena · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book!! It's superbly written, allows the reader to fully immerse into the story. The chars are believeable and each is fascinating in own way. I was touched by the long path Terry made and was happy for him eventually. I also loved it how it was all about feelings at the end, which I at first didn't predict. A great book on how to stay strong, reach dreams and how you can never predict the way they will come true. It was a pleasure to read it. Thank you very much, Victor!!!

[Augusta Li · Rating 5 out of 5]

Terry/Lola is a fascinating character that I fell in love with right away. I wanted so much for him to find some kind of happiness and the love and affection that he was so starved for. He made some very bad decisions in the beginning, and it hurt to see him fall victim to his youth and naivety. He also was strong and resilient, though, anything but the sissy other men saw when they looked at him. Terry's journey from the Bowery to the mining camps of California was full of unexpected twists. Sometimes it was funny, sometimes horrific, often tragic, and sometimes triumphant. I laughed out loud at times and cried at others.

Also enthralling is how the men of this time defined their sexuality, what was "queer" and what wasn't. For example, giving oral sex to another man made a man "queer." However, it seemed perfectly acceptable for men to have anal sex together in the absence of women, particularly for the top. Most of the men who participated in these practices lived in horrible denial and I got the sense that they were too afraid to ever find real happiness, and it was just another example of how little Terry Murphy was actually stronger than the macho men around him.

I thoroughly enjoyed tagging along on Lola's journey. She felt so real to me that at the end, while I didn't want to say goodbye, I just wished her all the love and happiness she deserved.

[Vfields Don't touch my happy! · Rating 4 out of 5]

Say what you will Victor Banis knows the old West and writes about it with passion and thoroughness. This time around we need Terry Murphy who finds a way to survive in the near un-survivable West. First and foremost let's understand where poor Terry will learn real lessons about life. No parents are going to teach him. No teachers or school are going to teach him and he has no friends. He can't even learn things on the streets, poor thing. Terry survives by sheer luck because there was nobody to guide him. His brother was a self-serving opportunistic waste of space. Without giving anything away Terry does find a way to rebuild himself into Lola Valdez. Our 21st-century rules of right and wrong don't really exist or had a place in the old West. Frontier men and frontier women had to do whatever it took to survive, totally understandable, ugly as it was.

In the beginning of this book you're worry. You try to get Terry through his every day threats. You're hoping, you're crossing your fingers, you want this kid to survive and in the end you know this kid is going to survive. You know that he learns and gets stronger from every mistake along the way.

[Tamela · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved the whole story. Terry is such an innocent and I feel so bad that he had to endure so many awful things... even from his own brother. And then along comes Lola and such strength begins to finally show through. Watching Terry / Lola become reconciled to each other was fascinating in itself.

The historical aspect of life on the frontier and the Barbary Coast was great reading. It is one of my favorite time frames and I've read many stories about that period. The author has it nailed.

I have just one thing to say about the ending... PERFECT!!! Wonderful ending, with Terry/Lola realizing that his Joshua was just a dream and that what he really wanted he already had in Tom.

On my-favorites list and HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!!
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1st read - May 25, 2012
2nd read - Sep 12, 2015