What do you think?
Rate this book
Eleanor Roosevelt's Book of Common Sense Etiquette
In an era of incivility, discover a timeless guide to good manners from First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt. “The basis of all good human behavior is kindness,” says Eleanor Roosevelt in this classic handbook, first published in 1962 as a “modern book of etiquette for modern Americans.” As a politician, diplomat, and activist, as well as the longest-serving First Lady of the United States, Mrs. Roosevelt knew that thoughtful, civil behavior was essential to peaceful, productive relationships. In this etiquette guide, she teaches that decorum is not about strict adherence to formal rules; it is about approaching all social situations with consideration for others. She advises, “If ever you find yourself in a situation in which following a formal rule would be manifestly unkind, forget it, and be kind instead.” Drawing from her personal and professional experiences, Roosevelt covers a broad range of topics, including business dealings and family affairs, writing letters and receiving guests, and entertaining at home and traveling abroad. Beginning with the necessity of good manners between husband and wife, she considers the importance of courtesy in society at large and the role all Americans play as ambassadors of democracy while visiting foreign countries. In an era of incivility, Eleanor Roosevelt’s Book of Common Sense Etiquette is more relevant than ever. This ebook has been professionally proofread to ensure accuracy and readability on all devices.
665 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 1962
174 people are currently reading
437 people want to read
About the author
Eleanor Roosevelt
140 books1,680 followersAnna Eleanor Roosevelt was an American political leader who used her influence as an active First Lady from 1933 to 1945 to promote the New Deal policies of her husband, President Franklin D. Roosevelt, as well as taking a prominent role as an advocate for civil rights. After her husband's death in 1945, she continued to be an internationally prominent author and speaker for the New Deal coalition. She was a suffragist who worked to enhance the status of working women, although she opposed the Equal Rights Amendment because she believed it would adversely affect women. In the 1940s, she was one of the co-founders of Freedom House and supported the formation of the United Nations. Eleanor Roosevelt founded the UN Association of the United States in 1943 to advance support for the formation of the UN. She was a delegate to the UN General Assembly from 1945 and 1952, a job for which she was appointed by President Harry S. Truman and confirmed by the United States Congress. During her time at the United Nations chaired the committee that drafted and approved the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. President Truman called her the "First Lady of the World" in tribute to her human rights achievements.
She was one of the most admired persons of the 20th century, according to Gallup's List of Widely Admired People.
She was one of the most admired persons of the 20th century, according to Gallup's List of Widely Admired People.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
November 17, 2015
So far, I really like everything I know about Eleanor Roosevelt. Her book of etiquette is no exception--it's simple common sense, treat others with kindness, don't cause embarassment. Think the best of everyone, treat everyone with respect and courtesy. She modernizes previous etiquette rules for the 1960s, but some of it is clearly no longer applicable. (So curious what she'd recommend for nowadays!)
I also extra appreciate her guidance as she too was shy/introverted and had to actively work to overcome this behavior, since she often acted as hostess and diplomat. She talks a lot about how social interactions and conversations are agreed upon ventures and and that one has to do their part to engage.
Another library book that I would buy and reference whenever needed. The book is also full of interesting anecdotes that highlight the 'lesson'. She covers everything from writing letters to office manners, from living in a three generation home to separations and divorce.
A few excerpts:
Your Closest Companion
"...unless we make of ourselves persons whom we like, with whom, when occasion demands, we can live pleasantly in solitude, we are poorly equipped for social life in any community. ...Your attitude toward the human race as a whole must include your concept of yourself, for you are a human being." p 15
The Virtues of Busyness
"The greatest tragedy of old age is the tendency for the old to feel unneeded, unwanted, and of no use to anyone..." p 61
"The secret of her happiness is that she still lives in the future." p 61
Keeping Up with the Joneses
"The material aspects of your entertainment should consist of the best within the proper limits of your financial position and general circumstances. Anything beyond this is likely to become ostentation and actually an embarrassment and discourtesy." p 163
"If you have a neighbor who can afford to drive a very expensive car and change it for a new model every year, and does so, his custom has no bearing whatever on what you do about your car." p 163
The Stewardess
"She is one of the prime reasons why your trip is likely to be comfortable and pleasant. She is deserving of the highest respect and the most courteous treatment." p 195
Funerals
"It's a strange but true paradox that the greater the loss the greater the comfort that is born of memory." p 344
The Variable Meaning of Words
"'Before I discuss anything with you, you must define your terms,' said the French philosopher Voltaire." p 488
The Opening Paragraph
"There is an old saying, 'Well begun is half done.'" p 533
I also extra appreciate her guidance as she too was shy/introverted and had to actively work to overcome this behavior, since she often acted as hostess and diplomat. She talks a lot about how social interactions and conversations are agreed upon ventures and and that one has to do their part to engage.
Another library book that I would buy and reference whenever needed. The book is also full of interesting anecdotes that highlight the 'lesson'. She covers everything from writing letters to office manners, from living in a three generation home to separations and divorce.
A few excerpts:
Your Closest Companion
"...unless we make of ourselves persons whom we like, with whom, when occasion demands, we can live pleasantly in solitude, we are poorly equipped for social life in any community. ...Your attitude toward the human race as a whole must include your concept of yourself, for you are a human being." p 15
The Virtues of Busyness
"The greatest tragedy of old age is the tendency for the old to feel unneeded, unwanted, and of no use to anyone..." p 61
"The secret of her happiness is that she still lives in the future." p 61
Keeping Up with the Joneses
"The material aspects of your entertainment should consist of the best within the proper limits of your financial position and general circumstances. Anything beyond this is likely to become ostentation and actually an embarrassment and discourtesy." p 163
"If you have a neighbor who can afford to drive a very expensive car and change it for a new model every year, and does so, his custom has no bearing whatever on what you do about your car." p 163
The Stewardess
"She is one of the prime reasons why your trip is likely to be comfortable and pleasant. She is deserving of the highest respect and the most courteous treatment." p 195
Funerals
"It's a strange but true paradox that the greater the loss the greater the comfort that is born of memory." p 344
The Variable Meaning of Words
"'Before I discuss anything with you, you must define your terms,' said the French philosopher Voltaire." p 488
The Opening Paragraph
"There is an old saying, 'Well begun is half done.'" p 533
April 10, 2017
Etiquette is becoming a lost art
As I read through this book, I became acutely aware of what a terrible loss we have all suffered by not stressing to younger generations how civilized we were just a few generations ago. I am all for women breaking the glass ceiling, but I cringe when I see men rushing to the door and walking out before the woman. This book reminds us of the civilities that separate us from a bunch of uncouth, uncaring ruffians. Some of these techniques are a bit outdated, but they should still remind us that we have the ability to be gracious creatures. It makes me feel a bit guilty for not being more thorough in teaching my children, but that does not mean it is too late, or difficult, for future generations.
As I read through this book, I became acutely aware of what a terrible loss we have all suffered by not stressing to younger generations how civilized we were just a few generations ago. I am all for women breaking the glass ceiling, but I cringe when I see men rushing to the door and walking out before the woman. This book reminds us of the civilities that separate us from a bunch of uncouth, uncaring ruffians. Some of these techniques are a bit outdated, but they should still remind us that we have the ability to be gracious creatures. It makes me feel a bit guilty for not being more thorough in teaching my children, but that does not mean it is too late, or difficult, for future generations.
July 22, 2016
A lot of the info is outdated of course, but there is some interesting party etiquette. For example, I often wonder when I can leave a small dinner without being rude and starting a mass exodus that disappoints the host. Ms. Roosevelt counsels that one shouldn't leave until the highest-ranking guest does.
November 23, 2007
Great book with chapters on how to drive safely, how to address the handicapped, and Patriotism.
June 3, 2019
“But the basis of all good human behavior is kindness.”
“If ever you find yourself in a situation in which following a formal rule would be manifestly unkind, forget it and be kind instead.”
For some reason unknown to me, I have always liked reading etiquette books. I recently discovered Eleanor Roosevelt’s book on etiquette. I thoroughly enjoyed it. There was more than just etiquette in the book; she interspersed much of her own philosophy about patriotism, social mores, and contemporary behaviors throughout. However, you must remember that contemporary is the early 1960’s, the time she wrote the book. Much of what she says may not be relevant to the 21st century, but then again, if you substitute modern technology there is much that can be analogous. Certainly, we could use more common courtesy today. I did enjoy her section on telephone usage (think operators, party lines, disconnected calls). For a short time, I was a long distance telephone operator in my youth and it was fun to remember the old telephone system.
I enjoy Ms Roosevelt’s writing style and intend to read more of her books. This book is a pleasant read and well worth the time.
“If ever you find yourself in a situation in which following a formal rule would be manifestly unkind, forget it and be kind instead.”
For some reason unknown to me, I have always liked reading etiquette books. I recently discovered Eleanor Roosevelt’s book on etiquette. I thoroughly enjoyed it. There was more than just etiquette in the book; she interspersed much of her own philosophy about patriotism, social mores, and contemporary behaviors throughout. However, you must remember that contemporary is the early 1960’s, the time she wrote the book. Much of what she says may not be relevant to the 21st century, but then again, if you substitute modern technology there is much that can be analogous. Certainly, we could use more common courtesy today. I did enjoy her section on telephone usage (think operators, party lines, disconnected calls). For a short time, I was a long distance telephone operator in my youth and it was fun to remember the old telephone system.
I enjoy Ms Roosevelt’s writing style and intend to read more of her books. This book is a pleasant read and well worth the time.
October 6, 2017
Simple easy to understand book on complete manors.
Simple easy to understand book on complete manors. Highly recommended at the top of the list for books on manors.
Simple easy to understand book on complete manors. Highly recommended at the top of the list for books on manors.
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews