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The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette, 50th Anniversay Edition
Filled with practical advice for every occasion, business and pleasure, this updated and revised edition is the most complete and authoritative guide to living well.
First published in 1952, this classic guide has been fully updated to reflect the concerns of the modern reader. The advice that has made Amy Vanderbilt the first name in etiquette remains pertinent today. Here is the final word on buying and using stationery, responding to dinner invitations, hosting a party, and attending religious ceremonies. The chapter of the most enduring popularity is, of course, the one on weddings. From addressing invitations to sending thank you notes, everything a bride needs to plan the perfect wedding is easily accessible.
In addition to the time-honored guidance that has made this book a treasured reference, this updated edition contains information that addresses modern concerns of every kind. Here is advice on answering cellular phone calls in public, behaving courteously at the gym, and speaking at business meetings.
Whether you need to compose an invitation, write a letter of condolence, address your senator, set a dinner table, or buy a gift for a foreign business associate, you will find The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette practical, down-to-earth, and always reliable.
First published in 1952, this classic guide has been fully updated to reflect the concerns of the modern reader. The advice that has made Amy Vanderbilt the first name in etiquette remains pertinent today. Here is the final word on buying and using stationery, responding to dinner invitations, hosting a party, and attending religious ceremonies. The chapter of the most enduring popularity is, of course, the one on weddings. From addressing invitations to sending thank you notes, everything a bride needs to plan the perfect wedding is easily accessible.
In addition to the time-honored guidance that has made this book a treasured reference, this updated edition contains information that addresses modern concerns of every kind. Here is advice on answering cellular phone calls in public, behaving courteously at the gym, and speaking at business meetings.
Whether you need to compose an invitation, write a letter of condolence, address your senator, set a dinner table, or buy a gift for a foreign business associate, you will find The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette practical, down-to-earth, and always reliable.
800 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1952
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Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews
September 6, 2007
This book is delicious. I thoroughly enjoyed every hilariously smug word. Vanderbilt's audacious attempts to commune with the common man (those with less than, say, three servants) while still pandering to those who might require personal audience with the Pope or may need to break previous engagements due to invitations to the White House filled my toilet time with joy for months.
This book is so dreadfully boring and asinine that it has burst through into the realm of unintentional comedy. Just fantastic. I recommend it in small doses, lest you be tempted to jump from a cliff or gouge your eyes out with a pen.
Spectacular, truly spectacular.
My review, by the way, is for the 1952 edition. If they changed it, for shame! I don't think this is what Grandma had in mind when she passed it along to me.
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This book is so dreadfully boring and asinine that it has burst through into the realm of unintentional comedy. Just fantastic. I recommend it in small doses, lest you be tempted to jump from a cliff or gouge your eyes out with a pen.
Spectacular, truly spectacular.
My review, by the way, is for the 1952 edition. If they changed it, for shame! I don't think this is what Grandma had in mind when she passed it along to me.
Here's some more commentary:
http://furst.bigwhoop.org/archives/00...
http://furst.bigwhoop.org/archives/00...
http://furst.bigwhoop.org/archives/00...
August 23, 2007
Well, how else was I supposed to know how to speak to my maid about that unfortunate incident involving Mr. Wallis Peavy's soup spoon at my dinner after the West Point Mixer last Spring? If not for Amy, I'd still be wearing my white gloves to a hunting party!
February 14, 2018
Spectacular! I'd have never thought that a reference book on etiquette would conceivably rank among my favorite books, but here we are. The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette is a guide to all parts of life that I wish I'd read a decade or two ago, and it's something I plan on continually rereading parts of for refreshers. Reading this book makes me think about how I can be more polite and a better member of society while not neglecting my own needs at the same time.
Some parts are a little pretentious. Plenty of parts are dated. This book was written in the 90s, before widespread home Internet use, before cell phones, before many huge social changes at the turn of the century. So there are some sections that just don't apply anymore. At the same time, it would've been much worse trying to read through what someone thought was etiquette for modern cell phones and texting. I'm glad I got it how it is.
There was so much I didn't know in here, and so many opportunities revealed for me to be a better person. It's not stuffy at all, it's not oppressive rules. It's just good manners. A life-changing read.
Some parts are a little pretentious. Plenty of parts are dated. This book was written in the 90s, before widespread home Internet use, before cell phones, before many huge social changes at the turn of the century. So there are some sections that just don't apply anymore. At the same time, it would've been much worse trying to read through what someone thought was etiquette for modern cell phones and texting. I'm glad I got it how it is.
There was so much I didn't know in here, and so many opportunities revealed for me to be a better person. It's not stuffy at all, it's not oppressive rules. It's just good manners. A life-changing read.
April 17, 2022
I find this fascinating! It's fun and it made me really think. My how the world has changed.
January 10, 2018
As with rules regarding driving, etiquette is an important skill for navigating social situations and minimizing the risk of conflict, misunderstandings, and hurt feelings. Etiquette helps us know what is expected of us and what we can expect from others.
Cons:
-As mentioned by others, some of tips included may seem sexist or outdated. While reading, I considered how to adapt such advice to my daily life.
-Some of the advice included is rather obvious (ex. considering your recipient before sending a joke card) and/or repetitive.
Pros:
-This book contains brilliant and timeless advice for navigating tricky and/or unfamiliar social situations.
-I appreciate the emphasis not only on one’s comfort level, but also on considering the needs and comfort of others.
I would recommend this book to anyone interested in enhancing their social skills.
Cons:
-As mentioned by others, some of tips included may seem sexist or outdated. While reading, I considered how to adapt such advice to my daily life.
-Some of the advice included is rather obvious (ex. considering your recipient before sending a joke card) and/or repetitive.
Pros:
-This book contains brilliant and timeless advice for navigating tricky and/or unfamiliar social situations.
-I appreciate the emphasis not only on one’s comfort level, but also on considering the needs and comfort of others.
I would recommend this book to anyone interested in enhancing their social skills.
August 5, 2021
Picked this up, truthfully, because of a childhood film (Princess Diaries!) and intrigue - some parts felt very common sense (although, perhaps it is not?) and others seemed culturally subjective so worth taking with a grain of salt. But there are some worthwhile tips in here for navigating certain kinds of social situations (e.g. loved the balance of chivalrous standards for first dates, but also respecting a couple's liberty to decide how to proceed thereafter, which appeals to me as one somewhat traditionally inclined and yet also something of a 'renaissance person').
Definitely one to keep as a reference book.
Definitely one to keep as a reference book.
January 29, 2026
Wow...almost 1/3 of the heavy book was on wedding etiquettes.
Glad that largely shaved down my time to spend on the section.
But might go through it when the time does come.
The rest is a very well-structured and organized read.
Glad that largely shaved down my time to spend on the section.
But might go through it when the time does come.
The rest is a very well-structured and organized read.
November 30, 2021
"There are few places that allow a more perfect opportunity to show off your manners than a restaurant"
July 2, 2024
This is truly a time capsule. Much of this book is completely impractical ,but , I read most of it .
June 14, 2025
The best
May 25, 2015
I grew up in a small town and when teenagers came close to a decent dating age the neighborhood would put together an etiquette dinner to help properly prepare us. Unfortunately, this dinner was never a walk in the park. Sure there were tea light candles to try and build the mood for an actual date. They would have beautiful table clothes and correct dinner plate settings. We were then expected to figure out how to use the place settings in the correct manner all while we remained prim and proper while indulging ourselves in spaghetti.
That is right, spaghetti. I know what you are thinking. How are we supposed to remain posed and clean while we are eating this messy dish? Well, it was no easy feat. In fact I am sure that many of us failed miserably in our attempt to keep sauce off our chins and clothing. Plus we had to remember not to slurp our noodles such as we have done since childhood. When exactly did that stop being cute anyway? I don’t remember if we had spoons to twirl our noodles for less mess. If we did then none of us hick-ish people were actual masters at such a task.
You can read more at about the dinner and the great information found within this book at http://forsweetwords.blogspot.com/b/p...
That is right, spaghetti. I know what you are thinking. How are we supposed to remain posed and clean while we are eating this messy dish? Well, it was no easy feat. In fact I am sure that many of us failed miserably in our attempt to keep sauce off our chins and clothing. Plus we had to remember not to slurp our noodles such as we have done since childhood. When exactly did that stop being cute anyway? I don’t remember if we had spoons to twirl our noodles for less mess. If we did then none of us hick-ish people were actual masters at such a task.
You can read more at about the dinner and the great information found within this book at http://forsweetwords.blogspot.com/b/p...
February 24, 2020
Very handy and has helped me navigate through a handful of tricky and manipulative family situations with more elegance. It's so helpful to be able to "blame" a book of manners as to why I decided to not be so spineless and stand up for myself- in a societally agreed upon manner. My family is beside themselves because now I can actually live my own life and not feel so easily controlled.
January 21, 2012
After a slight disagreement with my mother regarding proper placement of cups and utensils on an informal table, I chose to read both this book and Emily Post's Etiquette.
This book was written in 1995 - and it shows. In the most direct sense, the text goes over a high amount of common sense. But, it does reference everything from boating, tennis, tipping, traveling and proper placement of utensils on a table. It also details certain subjects, like funerals, in a way that I doubt most millennium texts will touch.
Some information is timeless. However, in comparison with the recent revamping of Post's tomb in 2011, the Vanderbilt text offers little decent comparison. I would would highly suggest reading it if your local library has a copy.
**Update: I have since found a family copy of the 1967 edition, edited by A.V. herself. Invaluable resource to read. I would suggest that edition over this. It even has a section and diagrams on on how to properly make your bed! Priceless!
This book was written in 1995 - and it shows. In the most direct sense, the text goes over a high amount of common sense. But, it does reference everything from boating, tennis, tipping, traveling and proper placement of utensils on a table. It also details certain subjects, like funerals, in a way that I doubt most millennium texts will touch.
Some information is timeless. However, in comparison with the recent revamping of Post's tomb in 2011, the Vanderbilt text offers little decent comparison. I would would highly suggest reading it if your local library has a copy.
**Update: I have since found a family copy of the 1967 edition, edited by A.V. herself. Invaluable resource to read. I would suggest that edition over this. It even has a section and diagrams on on how to properly make your bed! Priceless!
June 16, 2008
This book is a great must have for anyone who questions the proper way to go about things. From Weddings to Funerals, Dinner Party's and Business, this book is a perfect guide for proper etiquette. I love that I can answer my friends questions about what to do in various situations. I have referenced it more frequently than I would have thought.
July 23, 2010
an interesting departure from my usual morning read over coffee...
it was a good reiteration that a handwritten thank you note will never go out of style, among others. this book was useful to me in other ways too - we used it at my friend's wedding to figure out the order of the bridal march down the church aisle.
it was a good reiteration that a handwritten thank you note will never go out of style, among others. this book was useful to me in other ways too - we used it at my friend's wedding to figure out the order of the bridal march down the church aisle.
Currently Reading
January 23, 2008At some point I became fascinated by rudeness and the death of manners. I like the old etiquette books from the 19th century, so the Vanderbilt was a bit of a step forward for me. Weighing several pounds, it is currently propping up some other books on my night stand.
November 24, 2014
A must have for every personal library. They've taken a more modern stance on some social conventions than I prefer to use, but overall this is a book that gives you confidence in your appropriateness in any room or situation.
Want to Read
June 1, 2009The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette : 50th Anniversary Edition by Nancy Tuckerman (1995)
January 26, 2013
Great reference book for basic rules of etiquette.
February 27, 2011
This book is really 'complete', covers all kinds of situation, from funerals to ethnic parties.
Want to Read
May 23, 2014cant read it
August 24, 2014
I understood, that things about everything is about nothing. But its OK for beginners.
Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews