From the author of #1 Humour Bestsellers GOODNESS, GRACE AND ME, THE ONE SAVING GRACE and LOOKING FOR LUCY, a brand new festive novella to make you laugh and warm your heart...
The last thing Harriet Westmoreland wants is Christmas away from home, particularly when skiing, snow, heights and freezing her backside off are on the menu. While her own family, together with her best friend Grace's, are soon whizzing down ridiculously high and scary mountains in the fashionable Italian resort of Cortina d'Ampezzo, Harriet is stuck in the remedial class on the nursery slopes unable, it seems, to remain vertical.
Tired of trying to stay upright in the dunces' class, Harriet decides to overcome her fear of heights and take her bruised body off to explore the refugios in the magnificent Dolomites above Cortina. And maybe catch a glance of George Clooney, rumoured to be in town... But what happens next triggers a totally unexpected avalanche of events which proves that, for friends Harriet and Grace and all their families, Christmas really is a time for little miracles...
Praise for Julie Houston's previous novels
'A real page-turner. You'll laugh and cry, but not be able to put it down as Julie's trademark humour shines through from beginning to end' Cassam Book Blog
'This is one of those novels that makes you want to read "just one more chapter" before you turn out the light, and that chapter turns into several more ' Big Bertha, Amazon Top 500 Reviewer
'I became so engrossed in this story I couldn't stop - kept going for just another chapter, and another, until I'd read straight through to the end. I loved it - the magic five for me, a wonderful read and one to keep for rereading' Jeannie Zelos Book Reviews
'An absolutely briliant read. This will definitely be a book to look out for in 2016 and I, for one, will be recommending it at every opportunity' I Love Smart Books
'A wonderful read...the prose flows effortlessly and takes the reader on a roller-coaster ride... Julie Houston is definitely an author to watch out for' Kathryn Hughes, Kindle #1 bestselling author of THE LETTER and THE SECRET
‘Stick this right at the top of your To Read List’ BestChickLit.Com
EXCERPT: 'Enid Blyton?' Vienna gave a tinkling little laugh reminiscent of the bells round the necks of the mountain goats I'd seen this morning, their vacant eyes appraising me as I'd stepped down from the minibus on our way here knowing that, if I didn't stop and get air, I'd be calling God into a plastic bag. 'Bless you. Enid Blyton? Claudia did the whole Enid Blyton thing years ago. We're reading Airman by Eoin Colfer at the moment: it's a swashbuckling adventure set in a futuristic Ireland about a rebel boy who has to escape from prison to clear his name. Terribly exciting. Claudia has read all the classics: Black Beauty, Swallows and Amazons, Lorna Doone. . .' Vienna was interrupted mid-sentence by Luca calling us to dinner, otherwise I reckon we'd have had a whole junior library shoved down our throats. I was beginning to think the woman was one book short of a library herself.
THE BLURB: From the author of #1 Humour Bestsellers GOODNESS, GRACE AND ME, THE ONE SAVING GRACE and LOOKING FOR LUCY, a brand new festive novella to make you laugh and warm your heart...
The last thing Harriet Westmoreland wants is Christmas away from home, particularly when skiing, snow, heights and freezing her backside off are on the menu. While her own family, together with her best friend Grace's, are soon whizzing down ridiculously high and scary mountains in the fashionable Italian resort of Cortina d'Ampezzo, Harriet is stuck in the remedial class on the nursery slopes unable, it seems, to remain vertical.
Tired of trying to stay upright in the dunces' class, Harriet decides to overcome her fear of heights and take her bruised body off to explore the refugios in the magnificent Dolomites above Cortina. And maybe catch a glance of George Clooney, rumoured to be in town... But what happens next triggers a totally unexpected avalanche of events which proves that, for friends Harriet and Grace and all their families, Christmas really is a time for little miracles...
MY THOUGHTS: I haven’t read a Christmas themed book in years, but having chatted with author Julie Houston on Twitter, then receiving notification from Amazon that An Off-Piste Christmas was one of the daily deals, I felt that I was fated to read this. And I am so glad I did!
Julie Houston has packed so much into this novella of 127 pages, that it has enough plot and engaging characters for a full length novel. Houston writes with a tongue-in-cheek humour that kept me smiling, although there are definitely some heart-wrenching moments in there.
I read An Off-Piste Christmas in one sitting. It was the perfect antidote to the disappointment of a miserably wet and windy Boxing Day and the cancellation of a planned trip to the races.
Although this novella fits into a series that I haven't yet read, it is perfectly able to be read as a stand alone as all the relationships are well explained. And yes, I will be reading the series, because I want all the gritty details and nuances of what has gone before.
All opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own personal opinions. Please refer to my Goodreads.com profile page or the 'about' page on sandysbookaday.wordpress.com for an explanation of my rating system. This review and others are also published on my blog sandysbookaday.wordpress.com https://sandysbookaday.wordpress.com/...
This is the second book I’ve read by Julie Houston featuring the antics of the Westmoreland family (the first being Goodness, Grace and Me) and this was just as funny and engaging.
Set in the period between Christmas and New Year, Harriet and her family, together with friends Grace, Amanda Henderson (I use the term ‘friend’ loosely in respect of Amanda as she is just as snobbish and overbearing as ever!) and their respective families fly out for a luxury skiing holiday to the Italian Dolomites as the lucky guests of a rich company contact. I have yet to catch up on book 2, (The One Saving Grace) and it seems that an awful lot has happened to Harriet and her best friend Grace in the meantime. Each family relationship has become more complicated and it took a short while to get my head around who was with who. But, it didn’t take long to get back into the swing of the family dynamics and what followed was a lot of snorting and chuckling on my part (I soon realised from the odd looks I was getting that it was a mistake to read this book on my train commute!)
One of the things I love about Julie’s writing (apart from her wicked sense of humour) is that she makes her characters seem so believable. I actually want to be friends with Harriet as she seems such fun to be with – (I also share her dislike of skiing and the two of us could sit with a hot chocolate and cake!). However, none of them are without their flaws, least of all Harriet and one aspect in particular in this story follows on from book 2 which came as quite a surprise to me and has now made me even keener to catch up and find out exactly what went on. The ensuing fallout from this previous storyline is dealt with sensitively and ensures that there is a more serious level of depth to the story.
Quite often novellas, by their very nature, leave me feeling shortchanged and disappointed. I certainly didn’t get that feeling with this one. The storyline is perfectly paced, it didn’t feel rushed and even the minor characters had enough personality to make them memorable. including moody teenagers and bossy adults. The youngest members of the family were just as funny and endearing as the elders and Harriet’s daughter India, at just 10 years old, was a delight. Despite the luxurious surroundings, not everyone is in the holiday mood and as you can probably imagine, mishaps and misunderstandings all add to the fun and drama of the story.
I thoroughly enjoyed An Off Piste Christmas and definitely recommend this for a little bit of winter cheer. I really must find the One Saving Grace on my Kindle and catch up properly with the family’s shenanigans. If you haven’t read either of the other books before, don’t worry, this one can be be read on its own.
Harriet's Christmas will be loud and cold. She celebrates it with a large group of people in the Italian mountains. Everyone seems to love skiing, but for Harriet it's the first time. This means she has to stay with the kids. Even though she's part of their beginner's class she isn't particularly interested in learning how to ski. She'd rather sit somewhere enjoying a drink than being active. She might be the only adult in her extended family who feels this way, but she can still have a good time and her holiday is far from boring, au contraire.
An Off-Piste Christmas is a great story with a lot of interesting characters. I immediately loved Harriet's tone of voice, she's funny, honest and matter-of-fact, which made me smile multiple times. While her family is large, and friends are also present, the story never becomes confusing. Julie Houston's explanations are clear and easy to understand and after reading her story I had the idea I knew all of them through and through.
Julie Houston's descriptions are colorful and vivid. I could totally imagine what it's like to be on holiday in the snow while skiing isn't something you're good at. I loved Harriet's approach and she doesn't need to be sportive to have adventures. There's so much going on that she never has a dull moment and that is exactly what I liked about this story. It's lively and energetic. An Off-Piste Christmas is a unique Christmas novella with a wonderful heartwarming ending.
I bought this book purely on the basis of Julie Houston's previous novels without realising it featured the same characters; and it is fab-U-lous!!
Harriet and Grace, along with their respective families - and friends - are heading to a very posh ski resort where they have been given the loan of an upmarket chalet. Whilst most of the party are thrilled at the prospect of flying down the snowy runs, Harriet is privately horrified at having to join the kids in the learners class and eventually decides that falling on her backside all the time is too much! Deciding to do a bit of sightseeing and exploring the numerous coffee shops whilst hoping for a glance of George Clooney, rumoured to be in the area, Harriet catches a glimpse of someone else - and not anyone she ever expected to see again. The repercussions are earth-shattering for all of them . . .
For anyone who follows my reviews, you may remember that this particular author's writing has caused me to shake the bed with my laughter disturbing my husband's sleep on more than one occasion! I managed to avoid wakening him this time by dint of stuffing my hand in my mouth and shoving the thick winter duvet between us. Every time Grace began humming, I started giggling! This is a tremendously entertaining tale, beautifully written as always, and showing not only this author's skill but also her empathetic nature. I just loved everything about it and I'm so glad I spotted it for sale; unusually, I wasn't alerted to it's publication on social media and I would have hated to miss out on such fun and frolics. Worth all five glittering stars, and then some!
I purchased this book; all stated opinions are entirely my own and completely honest.
It was Nuts there was so Many Different characters thrown about shagging each other, with a kid belonging to someone else while your besties Hubby having and affair with Neice ..... All it Needed was some swingers... Bumping into your dead ex love..... while someone gets knocked up
Holiday novella in which Harriet Westmoreland, her family and friends take a skiing trip to Italy. Probably only for fans of the series, otherwise the incestuous (not literally) relationships between the party would be frankly unintelligible. Also, reading these books out of sequence I keep thinking 'oh is this the book where 'that' happens to Amanda' - so far no it isn't LOL.
Anyway, lots to unpick, a private jet, secret baby, teenage romance, learning difficulties, ex-lovers, adoption, fisticuffs (honestly, that is the only word for such a very British fight), mature romance, and Enid Blyton.
I have to admit I was rather confused about the family interactions and current and past relationship overlaps. It kind of detracted from the storyline. Also the reader did a good job but I couldn't help thinking her voice didn't quite match up with how I envisioned Harriet! Nice ending though.
"An Off - Piste Christmas" is my first book by Julie Houston but I was immediately drawn to this cover and the description made me hope that it's going to help me to leave the actual reading slump behind. As previously I didn't know much about this book, I also didn't know that this is a second novella featuring the Westmoreland family, however through many hints I started to guessing it. But you can absolutely read it as a stand - alone novel, as there are enough flashbacks and the author gives enough information for the new reader to know that and what happened in the past. However, now my curiosity is piqued and I will be for sure reading the previous novels in the closest future!
My biggest problem was the number of characters. Honestly, to the end of the book I wasn't sure who is who, why and with whom they are together. It was confusing and I hoped that there comes a moment I'll see the light bull over my head but sadly, it didn't happen and eventually I stopped trying with the characters. It spoiled the reading a bit to be honest. As it took me almost till the end to unravel who is related to who, to be honest, so maybe a short introduction at the beginning of the story wouldn't go amiss. Also, the very complex and complicated nature of the relationships with a daughter dating the main character's best friend's ex - lover and father of her baby, and all of them going together on a fancy skiing holiday, even though the main character hates skiing... It was too much for me, to be honest.
At first the story felt too slow, maybe because of the millions of characters being introduced, but then it often felt too rushed and the things were happening so conveniently, and also I personally am not sure if bringing back dead characters to life is such a good idea - it didn't sit with me and this subplot felt much, much, much too far - fetched for my liking. However, "An Off - Piste Christmas" was a very light read, and it made me chuckle and smile. I also immediately fell in love with Julie Houston's writing style, that is not only full of humour but it's so easy to follow, it's light, warm and - let's forget about the number of characters for a moment - I immediately felt at home. The millions of characters are likeable and believable, with their flaws, problems and interactions, and with so many of them there are many mishaps, misunderstandings and also bitching involved. The story is full of really funny scenes, and only the idea of going on the ski - holiday when you're scared of heights and hate skiing is a hilarious one, but it is also full of much more emotional moments and it touches upon some sensible issues, and this is all perfectly mixed.
Altogether, it is a short, funny and light novella taking place in a beautiful setting, full of snow and mouth - watering descriptions of food. It's fluffy and quick read and I personally enjoyed it with the few twists, turns and curveballs. Copy provided by the author in return for an honest review.
This novella had an intriguing premise for me for various reasons: a family winter holiday with the father crazy on skiing and the wife not so much, in the fashionable resort of Cortina d'Ampezzo in the Italian Dolomites. I have very fond (if fuzzy) memories of holidays on sunny, snow-blanketed slopes in Brunico, near Cortina, before the area became a world-famous skiing destination. My father was a strong and accomplished skier while the rest of us were hopeless.
Apparently, this story features the same Westmoreland clan who, with friends Grace and Dan, and ancillary players, also star in three other books by Julie Houston. One can read this story as a stand-alone (as I did) but it might be even better if you are already familiar with all concerned. The best part is that, if you like the style, you can pick up the other books in the series.
The beginning is lighthearted, and we are quickly introduced to a large cast of characters, assembled at Manchester airport, as they wait to board a flight to Venice, bound for the fabled resort of Cortina d'Ampezzo in the Italian Alps, just this side of Austria. By the time the group of fourteen assorted adults, teens, children, and tiny tots are welcomed into dreamy luxury accommodation at their friend's palatial chalet, it is becoming apparent that the various couples share past history as well as complex interrelationships. I won't say more because I hate spoilers, but there are plenty of reasons for these people to find their time together testing, to say the least. As the week progresses, events take a dramatic turn, and friendships and loyalties are stretched to the limit.
This is a well-written story, with good pacing and excellent characterization for the main players. Although most of them are not terribly likeable, reading about their fabulously self-indulgent holiday was entertaining. The surprise ending is a tad abrupt, but presumably the story continues elsewhere.
There were some elements which I found mildly irritating: too much repetition of who's who, their ages, relationships, and back history – almost as though the author expects an inattentive audience; everyone is “gorgeous” or “very gorgeous” – with the exception of one overweight kid; the humour is a bit forced at times (e.g. the lame rendition of the Italian characters' accented English); but the worst for me was the sloppy editing: almost all the Italian dialogue, quotes, names of traditional dishes and even street names were wrong; correct information is freely available online to anyone who can be bothered to search.
I'm still rating this 4 stars because the incorrect Italian terminology would not bother most people, and other readers might have more tolerance than me for the repetitions.
I have just spent a couple of pleasurable if slightly befuddling hours reading this lovely novella set against the backdrop of the Italian Alps.
I was taken slightly by surprise, as I didn't quite realise until I started that this is the next book in Julie Houston's series, featuring the Westmoreland family, and all of their increasingly complicated relations. I think that if you haven't read any of the previous books you may be slightly confused too by just who is related to who, and why, and since it has been a while since I read them, it took me a while to get it all straight in my head again.
Regardless once I got into the book which starts with a hilarious opening chapter, I soon was really enjoying the story that was being told.
Harriet is scared of heights, doesn't like the cold and can't ski, in fact it soon becomes a case of can't ski - won't ski! Yet she and the rest of her family, all five of them, plus her best friend Grace, her family, and also Amanda's family are all heading off for a skiing holiday in the period between Christmas and New Years.
There are so many light hearted amusing scenes that will really resonate initially with anyone that has flown with a budget airline, and then later on the attempts in getting Harriet to ski are also amusing.
However its once Harriet gives up and goes off exploring that the whole focus of the story changes in quite a surprising way, and adds a whole new dynamic to the book which makes a good story even more impressive.
There are some wonderful descriptions of the food being produced in the chalet that my mouth was really watering for, and with children of various ages being present on the trip, there were all sorts of amusing interactions, including with the teenagers who is getting together with who, and the pre-teen commentary on the situation.
All in all, once I got my head around the characters, I found An Off-Piste Christmas, to be a fun look at an extended family holiday in Cortina, complete with the sheer contrasts with the richest and slightly more regular members of the party!
Thank you so much to Julie Houston for this review copy of the book. This was my honest opinion.
Lets just start off with a definition of "off-piste" because I'll admit I had no idea what the title of this book (novella really) was referring to.
Google to the rescue!
off-piste
adjective & adverb SKIING away from prepared ski runs. "challenging expanses of off-piste skiing" so as to deviate from what is conventional, usual, or expected. "on this occasion I went off-piste and booked in at The Griffin, a place none of us had ever visited before."
I know there are people out there who always want their books to be really realistic and not all convenient with enough happily ever afters to go around.
I'm totally not that person.
I like happy endings, I like Christmas, I like this book (err- novella).
Actually, I love Christmas but it is also the part of the year that we spend lots of time with our family. Time where you look around and think that they are all crazy and you wonder how anything, much less everything is going to work out. (Sorry family.)
But then! Then, you read a book like this fine novella and think- "Well, her daughter is dating her best friend's previous lover and father of her baby and they are all going on a fancy schmancy Christmas skiing trip in Italy together, even though she hates skiing and it all works out for them," my totally normal family will be fine.
Would I recommend it? It's goofy and funny and crazy and scandalous and *spoiler alert* ends happily. While I know there are scrooges out there who don't approve of such things, I thought it was an excellent quick (Did I mention it was a novella? You can totally fit in in your reading schedule this month!) Christmas read!
I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. I discovered this book because I’m a proud member of Rosie’s Book Review Team!
This is the first book I’ve read written by Julie Houston. What a wonderful way with words Julie has, such warmth and humour but then all of a sudden a serious issue is thrown in to jolt your emotions!
This Christmas novella rejoins the characters you’ve grown to love from Julie’s previous romcoms. However, as I hadn’t had the pleasure to read the other stories I treated this book as a standalone. An Off-Piste Christmas can be read as a standalone as you soon figure out who all the characters are. I did slightly get a little confused with a certain love triangle, took a little while to get my head around these few characters. However, due to Julie’s great warmth and humour in the storyline you can’t help but be drawn into the chaos and fun erupting with the friends and family during their Christmas vacation to a ski resort in Italy.
There was laughter and fun at the ski slopes for poor Harriet who hates snow and the cold, she’d much rather be in a warm, cosy café with a comforting drink and her favourite book. Harriet doesn’t expect to bump into someone from her past at the top of a snowy mountain. This discovery rocks the emotions for the whole ski party.
A fun filled romance with lots of family fun with a thought provoking twist to take your emotions on another journey. 4.5/5*
An Off-Piste Christmas is a light romcom style novella and should ideally be read as part of the author's series of books surrounding the Westmoreland family and friends. For those familiar with the characters from other novels it will make much more sense, than for first time readers.
There is an epic cast of characters to get your head around, most introduced early on in the book. They have complex relationships which take a bit of getting used to. That said the style is fun and upbeat.
The storyline follows a post Christmas skiing trip to the Italian dolomite mountains for a group of twelve English-folk, all related to or who are friends with Harriet Westmoreland. The group is diverse; twin three year olds, tweens, teens and post teens, a couple with their own three year old, whose real father is dating the Harriet's student daughter and even a seventy year old Granny.
The accommodation is top of the range in a resort known for its celebs, but try as she might Harriet is not a skier and soon gives up in favour of taking in the sites. These include a face to face with a dead ex-lover. Throw in vile Vivian and one or two other incidents and this makes for a lively and exhausting read.
Probably recommended for those readers who have previously fallen in love with the Westmoreland tribe.
I was sent an ARC of this book by the author, Julie Houston in exchange for an honest review.
This novella was an absolute scream! From the chaotic relationships of Harriet Westmoreland, her best friend Grace, Grace's husband, the Carringtons to Harriet's ex-lover, Alex and his beautiful 18 month old daughter. I loved the way all the characters were connected in some way or another, whether they worked together, slept together or had children together!
Harriet was a wonderful mother and friend and kept the story alive by trying to hold everything and everyone together on this mad, jam packed getaway. Her best friend Grace is a true friend and I'm glad things worked out the way they did in the end.
This is my first time reading a novella and it was very enjoyable. The pace was quick and to the point and the storyline was interesting enough to keep me reading until the end. The dialogue was witty, funny and had me tears of laughter on most of the pages.
I was already a fan of Julie Houston having read her previous book, "Looking for Lucy" but with this Christmas time read, she's made me a fan for life!
The characters in this book really come together to make an entertaining story. There are quite a few characters but they have varied personalities so pretty quickly I could tell everyone apart. This group of people have been in previous books by Julie Houston so it might be worth reading her other books first. However I didn't feel like I was at a major disadvantage from not reading them.
The story moved quickly and kept my interest pretty much all the way through. There were a few twists and turns to the book that I didn't see coming. The setting was lovely with just the right amount of detail given. Just like Harriet I'm not a big fan of snow and heights so I felt for her character. Although to be honest it did actually sound quite fun! I loved all of the characters even with their flaws. They were well written and the writing was witty and charming.
Four and a half stars from me!
An Off-Piste Christmas is fun, festive and enjoyable!
Thank you to Julie Houston for my copy. This is my honest and unbiased opinion.
Having not read any of the previous books in this series before I was pleasantly surprised and entertained by the story of Harriet Westmoreland and her family going away on a skiing holiday with the family of her bestfriend, Grace and her husband's business partner. This motley crew of skiers and all the history they share makes for entertaining reading as Harriet bumps into someone from her past and a family secret comes to light. Even though the relationships past and present are a little complex in this group of characters, I found it reasonably easy to follow who had been involved with whom as I read this book.
I found it easy to read and get into this light-hearted book as I could relate to Harriet in her dislike of heights, the cold and finding skiing less than a natural pass-time. With a stunning backdrop of the Alps and the opulence of their luxury chalet, I found this highly enjoyable and recommend this humorous and light-hearted read this season. I may even go back to read the prequels as I liked the characters very much indeed.
I enjoy all of the books involving the characters from this “village” series. All of them are so likeable in their own ways. They are relatable, can be negative and not so pleasant to be around but there is usually reasons behind it and they know and care about each other enough to help get to the cause of any unhappiness. The characters that take on a wholly disliked persona tend to be visiting “baddies” that you’re anxious to see get karma. Never having skied abroad or visited Italy at all, Julia has a knack of transporting you there anyway. I now feel I want to try their classic Italian drinks to warm me up on a cold day. I have visited many places through this author’s words and got to know characters that I feel are real. It’s what reading should be all about but is actually rare to find a talented writer like this one.
Well, Julie Houston is just a fabulous writer. She had me laughing in the first chapter, which was really nice. I just learned to ski last year and was drawn to this book because of the fantastic cover featuring a sophisticated woman all dressed up in heels and standing on the ski slopes--how the publisher knew what I look like when I go skiing I will never know (ha!). No, really, that cover caught my eye. Then as I read, I was totally engrossed in the life of Harriett Westmoreland, who is afraid of heights (I can identity) and can't ski (also can identify). This was a fun read and totally what I needed during the Christmas break.
Lovely to meet up with Harriet and Grace again in this new Christmas special from Julie Houston. An ideal read for the holiday season with lots of references back to previous stories and a whole new set of plot developments. A lovely winter sports setting (for which Harriet expresses a healthy disregard) provides the backdrop to another can't put it down read. Excellent characterisation makes you feel like the fly-on-the-wall as the story unfolds. Amusing - entertaining - really enjoyed reading it.
An Off-Piste Christmas by Julie Houston Book starts out with table of contents. Prologue begins in September where Harriet the mother declares there is no way she is going to spend Christmas in the ski mountains of Italian Alps with the family and extended family, just no way. Story start in Dec and they are in the UK Airport on their way to the Italian Alps. Wish there was a list of characters and who they belong with. Never in my wildest dream did I see the events occurring as they did, WOW. The family is going in all different directions to do what they are there for, ski, snowboard, shop, etc. Like travel to all the new places, sounds festive and exciting. Harriet has put up a lot and doesn't even like snow but she sticks with youngest of them til one day she just needs to do what she wants. On her way to the top of the mountain, jumping off the tram and having a hot beverage by herself she notices a man that looks just like Alex. The story from there just gets very dire but there is so much going on with everybody but it all comes full circle. About the author is included at the end and a listing of her works.
This is a Christmas novella featuring characters in a previous book from this author. I hadn’t read the other book which may have disadvantaged me as I struggled to keep up with all the characters and their past and present relationships. But a short book with a happy ending and left open for maybe another book with the characters
I snagged this freebie because it was promised to be a "laugh-out-loud" story... and it wasn't at all. Not a horrible story, just not funny and not the palate cleanser I was hoping for.
I enjoyed this short story, especially the unexpected meeting. When I worked as a nanny for an Italian family in Rome, they took me with them on a Skiing holiday to Cortina, this story brought back lovely memories!
It had the premise of being a really good story. It started out okay, but then seemed to pick up steam an become a harried mess, a mess with a crappy ending.