Jubal Van Zandt & the Revenge of the Bloodslinger

Jubal Van Zandt #1

by Eden Hudson

This is an older cover of ASIN B01M0NZWPU

Narcissist, sociopath, and shameless backstabber Jubal Van Zandt is the best damn thief in the history of the Revived Earth...and he won't shut up about it.

But not everybody in the swampy, soggy, feudal future approves of Jubal's vocation. The Guild—the religious fanatics who helped rebuild civilization after the collapse—in particular are waiting for their opportunity to slip the noose around his neck.

Which is why when the renowned Guild knight Carina Xiao—a.k.a. the Bloodslinger—contacts Jubal about an off-the-books job that violates Guild Law, he's too intrigued to say no. He is the best damn thief in the history of the Revived Earth, after all.

Part bizarro ecopunk, part outworld thriller, part odd-couple roadtrip, Jubal Van Zandt & the Revenge of the Bloodslinger is a 150% futurepunk quest for blood and betrayal across the Revived Earth.

Genres: Fantasy, Science Fiction, Adventure

169 pages, Kindle Edition

First published August 30, 2016

About the author

I am being forced against my will by Goodreads to have a capital E at the beginning of my name, even though the correct spelling is "eden." So there's that.

But also . . .

I am invincible. I am a mutant. I have 3 hearts and was born with no eyes. I had eyes implanted later. I didn't have hands, either, just stumps. When my eyes were implanted they asked if I would like hands as well and I said, "Yes, I'll take those," and pointed with my stump. But sometimes I'm a hellbender peeking out from under a rock. When it rains, I live in a music box.

But I'm also a tattoo addict, coffee junkie, drummer, and aspiring skateboarder. Jesus actually is my homeboy.

Reviews

[✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) · Rating 2 out of 5]

Actual rating: 2.5 stars.

Humongous potential this story has. Quite wasted it sadly is.

The premise is pretty cool. I mean, it is a scientifically proven fact that any revenge-based plot = extreme scrumptiousness coming right up. Add to that a supposedly yummy thief (emphasis on yummy supposedly) and the most titillating female knight, and you're pretty much guaranteed to see me go all...



Yeah, well. The supposedly yummy thief (aka the Rogue Wannabe) tries so bloody shrimping hard to be a smug as shrimp, selfish bastard that it feels forced as fish. And falls completely flat. Also, he acts like a 15-year-old. Yay. I would much rather have read the story from the female knight's perspective (definitely some deliciously delicious potential there), but alas that was not to be. Life sucks and stuff.

I'd talk about worldbuilding but it's reasonably non-existent, so I won't. (But hey, at least I can't complain about info-dumping for once.) The plot is alright. What bugs the fish out of me is that it feels like the author is purposefully hiding important information from the reader (and saving the big reveal for the sequel, I imagine), which bugs the fish out of me. I don't mind this kind of plot device when handled with subtlety—as in when you don't realize the author is making a bloody moron out of you. Quite glorious, that—but that's definitely not the case here so boo and stuff. Let's see, what else? Well, there are quite a few OTT moments that nearly had me eye-rolling my little nefarious self to death, so yay again.



And the icing on the cake shrimp on the paella? The book ends midway through an action scene 😡😡😡. With a cliffhangery cliffhanger that is so ridiculously, frustratingly cliffhangery that it awakened the homicidal maniac in me. And now the last thing I want to do is read the next book in the series, because that's what happens when I get ever-so-slightly pissed off by an ever-slightly infuriating ending.

The end and stuff.



[Pre-review nonsense]

This one could have been great. Only that it wasn't.



I'm with you on that one, Lucy Ricardo née McGillicuddy.

➽ Review to come and stuff.

[Maraya21 (The Reading Dragon) · Rating 4 out of 5]

⚠ MacHalo BR cause who doesn't want to read about a narcissistic, sociopathic, shameless backstabbing thief and a Holy Knight with a dark past out for blood? Hint: I am not one of them cause I so do want ⚠

Carina: “Do you ever stop and listen to the things you’re saying?”
Jubal: “Not if I can help it.”

I have no idea what I was expecting before I started reading this but I can tell you it wasn't what I got in the end. What I got was greatness!


Jubal Van Zandt. Jubal reminded me of Archer, only difference being Jubal doesn't kill people and he doesn't drink alcohol. Despite these shortcomings he is awesomesauce! *Yummy*




Carina Xiao. Carina was even more on the "I didn't expect this" side than anything else. I liked her character and I enjoy all the unexpected stuff she threw my way. She is ruthless and efficient and a closet psycho. *Yummy*




I can't tell you how much I loved their friendship . Yes, I said friendship . No, your eyes are fine. There was no insta-love to be found here. No insta anything! Their interactions were #gold and #goals all wrapped up in one super package!


" But what about the world? " you might ask. Here we have a smol issue.
It is not that there was no world building, it is more that there was no explaining of the world and not enough was mentioned for us to see any of it.

When I started reading, at first I felt like I started with something along the lines of reading Book #4 of a series first, where everyone already knows which is which and I am the new twat in town that has no clue whatsoever.

The writing is so easy going that I quickly found myself drooling and giggling about Jubal & Carina that their world kind of faded to the background. That doesn't mean I forgot about it obviously, just that it wasn't such a big issue anymore since the character interactions made up for this, somewhat. I want to say that this might improve in the next books but I doubt it. Also I don't care as long as Jubal and Carina are on the road towards shared sheer awesomeness!


Besides the above, this was an entry worth of the "Excellent" remark as a first in a new series goes. It has my approval!




Here be some Quotes for yous:

Carina: “Do you ever stop and listen to the things you’re saying?”
Jubal: “Not if I can help it.”

Page 32

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She stopped walking and turned to face me, pointing at the sinewy mass of pink tissue that was her left cheek, and for a second, I thought maybe she was going to let me touch it.
“This is proof that I survived what other people couldn’t,” Carina said. “This is a reminder of an enemy who couldn’t beat me, of suffering that made me stronger. I’m not ashamed of my scars. I won’t cover them up or try to get rid of them. I’ll wear them with pride until the day I die.”

Page 46

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Everything in moderation,” she said.
“Especially moderation,” I finished the poet Greene’s quote for her.
She nodded and pointed at me. After another sip of her beer, she asked, “Why are you so obsessed with the Guild? Is it because they prosecuted your father?”
I considered flipping the table over and leaving, but I didn’t do either. For one, I was a fucking professional—unlike some asshole knights who apparently wanted to make this personal—and for two, the table was bolted to the floor.
So I laughed instead.

Page 51

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carina shrugged without looking away from her window.
“Shrug you don’t know or shrug you don’t want to talk about it?” I asked.
“Don’t you ever feel like sitting quietly in contemplation?”
“Almost never. Even less so when I find out that somebody is easily annoyed. Come on, we’ve got six more hours minimum before we get anywhere. That is, if this plane doesn’t get hijacked and used to plow dirt by some Nytundi punk.”

Page 67

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So, if I’m understanding you correctly, you’re saying that what you want in a man is someone who can kick your ass?”
“More like someone who respects me enough as a peer to kick it when it needs kicking. But also someone who cares whether or not I’m okay when the kicking is over.”
“All right. That’s total nonsense, but okay. Time for the most important question: On a scale of one to Jubal Van Zandt, how hot is he? You can be honest, I won’t tell him.”

Page 69

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wy’s shot went over her head and pinged off the door we’d come in through. Carina’s shot knocked the revolver out of his hand.
“Shit!” Smiley Wy cursed in Soami. He clutched the stumps of his index and middle fingers. Blood ran down his arm, into his suit, soaking the elbow like a patch.
I stood up and pulled my fingers out of my ears.
“Hearing damage is cumulative, you know,” I told Carina.

Page 79

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jubal: [...] “Some offense intended.”
Carina: “None taken.”
“Like a whole lot of it.”
“Still not taking any.”
“Just so you know, that attitude super-proves my earlier argument about your fiancé.”
I caught a glimpse of a smirk on Carina’s face as she bent down to stick her brush in her duffel bag.
“If I tell you you’re the prettiest, will that make you feel secure enough to stop picking on people you’ve never met?” she asked.
I grinned. “Couldn’t hurt.”

Page 117

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“That’s what I like about you, Van Zandt.” Carina smirked. “You’re always looking for the good in people.”
“You’ve got your iron stomach, I’ve got my honest nature and beautiful face. That hostess has a nutsack surplus. We’ve all got something.”

Page 121-122

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What?” I asked.
“How do you survive?” she asked. “That’s not just pickiness, that’s…”
“It’s called having discerning tastes.”
She started walking again. “Nope, it’s called having a weakness.”
“I don’t compromise when it comes to food, Carina. You shouldn’t, either, iron stomach or not. Do you want mouth-gonorrhea? Because poorly prepared food is how you get mouth-gonorrhea.”

Page 160

[S.A. Sutila · Rating 5 out of 5]

Extremely Entertaining. 1st Person POV of a narcissist hired by a guild knight, Carina, seeking revenge for her father's murder. The unfiltered actions, thoughts and blurting of Jubal Van Zandt is an intelligent extreme characterization of male ego as he spends the whole story drowning out the most important character as he imagines how much she falls for him. His ego stops at nothing to defend itself as he strives to prove to Carina he is the best Thief in the history of Revived Earth.

[D.J. Bodden · Rating 5 out of 5]

The full title is a mouthful, but the premise is pretty simple: it’s the story of a passionate rogue who doesn’t happen to feel remorse, of how he comes to like someone other than himself, and how much that #$%#’s up his plans. And it’s an enormous amount of fun. You like fun, don’t you? You’ll like this.

If you’re looking for a comparison, it’s like reading the story of Hannibal and Clarice from Hannibal’s perspective, if Hannibal was a post-pubescent Spiderman instead of an uptight Lithuanian psychologist, and Spiderman was a thief. It’s funny, sexy, action-packed, and a little bit cruel, with heartwarming moments of sincerity in places normal people build walls to avoid getting hurt.

It’s also a tale of revenge, filled with an appropriate amount of skullduggery, theft, low blows, crawling through ceilings, and headshots. The story takes the characters through five very different locales in three countries, from a war-torn island nation to a five-star hotel, and from using smartwatches to order room service to the crapper being a hole in the ground. It all goes down in a wrecked future version of our world called the Revived Earth full of monsters, mutants, and gene/mech-aug’ed freaks who are still profoundly human. There’s a lot to love.

A quick read at 170-pages (I’ve read it a couple times by now), Revenge of the BloodSlinger is a great way to relax after you’ve spent a day dealing with other people’s problems because Jubal doesn’t care about other people’s problems. Jubal is other people’s problems, and he likes that just fine.

[L.T. Vargus · Rating 5 out of 5]

Revenge of the Bloodslinger is one weird, action-packed, cyberpunk adventure. I loved every freaking word. Jubal Van Zandt is the kind of character that seems like a total dickhead at first (or should I say eelfucker?), but the more you read, the more you love him and wish he'd show up on your doorstep and teach you how to execute the perfect finger gun maneuver. Because secretly, he isn't as horrible as he thinks he is.

Also, this is easily one of the funniest books I've ever read. I probably would have finished it sooner, but I had to keep taking breaks to wipe the tears from my eyes because I was laughing so hard.

I can. not. wait. to read the rest of the series. I'm off to load the next two on my Kindle immediately.

[Silvia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book!

When Jubal Van Zandt, the best thief in the Revived Earth (his words) is contacted by a knight of the Guild, Carina Xiao aka the Bloodslinger, to go undercover with her on a job that violates Guild law, he accepts. Jubal and Carina are like two peas in a pod, NOT! Their personalities couldn't be more different.

Carina is stoic and unemotional unless she's physically threatened and then she's all ninja goddess whose moves could put a sensei master to shame.

On the other hand.....

Jubal Van Zandt is a braggart proclaiming to the world his skills as a thief and his skills between the sheets. He constantly finds perfection staring back at him from whatever reflection he walks by. He should wear a flashing neon sign around his neck warning every girl within sight to stay far far away if she knows what's good for her. He will charm her into his bed until he gets his fill or feel of her, then abruptly kick her to the curb like yesterday's old news and push her out the door like an uninvited stray alley cat. I'm not kidding. In fact I'm being too kind.

The first few chapters of the book had me hating Jubal. Narcissistic: check! Rude: check! Heartbreaker, jerk, unrepentant: check, check, check! And he'd be the first to admit it!

But as the story progresses, the professional relationship between Jubal and Carina starts to click. They seem to "get" each other and the end goal. And then an emotional spark starts to ignite. I'm starting to get comfortable with Jubal. And then...and then holy hell! My Kigao whispers in my ear, "the electricity is about to go out..." Read the book and you'll know exactly what I'm talking about!

[Sadie Forsythe · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5

I enjoyed this a lot more than the cover suggested I would. Both the main character and his client, Carina, are serious anti-heroes. And while she has her faith, they are otherwise both sarcastic, irreverent and capable in their own fields. There is a lot to enjoy here. Not least of which is the interesting histories of both characters.

Plus, it's never even suggested that Jubal might be neuro-atypical (by which I mean autistic in some manner) and maybe the author never meant him to be, just a narcissistic sociopath. But there were just so many small example of his behavior that made me think he must be—racing thoughts, occasional overwhelming need for movement, minor self-harm when confronted with emotions, a general lack of empathy or normal emotions, insomnia, germ phobia, food issues, inexactitude in measuring the passage of time, strict categorization of people, etc. I appreciated finding this in a character.

My main complaints are that it went overboard on occasion, ends very abruptly and I didn't at all like the ending. I see what the author is doing with it, but it soured the book for me a bit. Be that as it may, I'd still read another one.

[Elinor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ok that was uber cool ! Cool (and weird ;p) characters, fun story, fast-pasted, easy to read, good writing, lots of humour, in short, not far from perfection for me.

[Visionthing03 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Yeah! I've got a new author to get pissed at for not writing fast enough for me. Love her style, which I once described as a cross between Hunter S. Thompson and Adrienne Rich had they been tasked with writing an episode of The Walking Dead, and were themselves still alive. I'm standing by that one.

So that might give you an idea as to which flavor of weird Eden is, but it's just a glimpse. She has her own voice and style which sort of defy description, try as I may.

Revenge of the Bloodslinger is about the son of a serial killer ( Jubal) and (Carina), the daughter of a mass murderer who himself was murdered as they team up to track down those responsible. This is a strange, dark story, but if you're just the right kind of twisted - charming and funny as well. You'll see. Love you Eden!

[Joetta Spurling · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm an independent reviewer for Romance Authors That Rock.
Carina's father was murdered. She is on a quest to kill the person that killed him. She hires Jubal Van Zandt to help her find his killer.
Jubal Van Zandt is the best man for the job, if you can get past the way he acts and treats people. He is rude and disrespectful. Carina has a scar on her face and he constantly makes fun of her because of it. His treatment of her doesn't change as the book progresses. Once you get into the book you start to understand him more and know why he asks the way he does.

[Montzalee Wittmann · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jubal Van Zandt & the Revenge of the Bloodslinger (A Jubal Van Zandt Novel Book 1)by Eden Hudson is a hilarious adventure, sci-fi novel that I totally enjoyed reading from page one! The writing is humorous and snarky in the descriptions and the dialogues had me cracking up. A fun romp through the universe with the most mismatched pair ever. Great plot, complex characters that are very unique and unlovable lovable. A book that should be on all sci-fi lovers list!

[Dave Duncan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Enjoyed the book, and would have maybe gone 4 stars if it hadn't ended so abruptly; seemed unfinished, as if I've read the first act of a longer story. It was entertaining enough that I will move on to the second book.

[Peter Carlstrom · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was awesome!

I had such a great time reading this book - Jumal was such a treat - lying, cheating, doublecrossing, self indulgent but also very paranoid, lonely and confused. Meeting heroine was such a trip for him that he didn't know his to read the situation. I laughed at laud, giggled and howled like a hyaena through this story. Not for faint of heart - brutal, violent, graphic and soooo good!

[Tim McBain · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jubal Van Zandt is a dastardly character, a thief navigating a strange futuristic world that is half dystopian cyberpunk-ish, half urban fantasy-ish. He is really, really hilarious, and he made me laugh out loud multiple times. He is also a total dick -- a cruel, narcissistic, paranoid weirdo who cannot connect to other people and doesn't want to.

His latest job puts him in tight quarters with a new companion -- Carina AKA the Bloodslinger -- for a long stretch. Though they embark on an action-packed revenge plot that is a lot of fun, their relationship was my favorite part of the book. They are an odd pair, and there is so much tension between them on multiple levels. Jubal vacillates from charming to cruel so quickly at times that it was like getting punched in the face. In a good way.

Most uncommon for such a short book, this felt fully realized in every facet. The world, the characters, everything feels lived in, rich with history and lore and layers of detail. The dialogue was great, and the world itself really captured my imagination.

I laughed. I cringed. I got a hole punched in my heart. Needless to say, I loved every minute of it.

[Viking Jam · Rating 5 out of 5]

https://koeur.wordpress.com/2016/10/1...

Publisher: Shadow Alley Press

Publishing Date: October 2016

ISBN: 4471369925215

Genre: SciFi/Fantasy

Rating: 4.7/5

Publishers Description: Narcissist, sociopath, and shameless backstabber Jubal Van Zandt is the best damn thief in the history of the Revived Earth…and he won’t shut up about it. But not everybody in the swampy, soggy, feudal future approves of Jubal’s vocation. The Guild—the religious fanatics who helped rebuild civilization after the collapse—in particular are waiting for their opportunity to slip the noose around his neck.

Review: Fuk me Agnes this was good. You know how long its been since I laughed out loud while reading a novel? A very loooooong time. All of the characters fall off the pages and into your lap and while they are engrossing, the world building is epic as is the weird shjt that resides on them. The movement is constant and envelops this glib rhetoric that is Jubal. The only downside was that it was too short and the ending was fooked. Still, I cannot wait for the next installment. Lots O’ fun!!

[Jolter164 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short but fascinating and funny!

Great short read set in an interesting post-apocalyptic(I think!) world. Plenty of action and laughs. The two main characters are both on the teetering edge of insanity and shouldn't be "likable" but are anyway. Give this a shot if you like plenty of violence and raunchy laughs.

[Amber · Rating 4 out of 5]

Black comedy urban fantasy that has a strange Tom Robbins vibe

Black comedy, action, urban fantasy meets futurist Tom Robbins-esque serial killer saga. I read it, cringed in disgust , laughed aloud, but didn't lose interest. I'm not quite sure what to make of it yet, but it made an impression.

[Shannon Wolf · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great quick read

I don't know if I like the MC's or not. Fast paced and just enough hints to keep you guessing. I liked the story line though. Only negative was the slang, and not knowing enough to put it in context of the "revived earth.

Shannon

[Brad Goetz · Rating 5 out of 5]

more great characters

this author has not failed me yet.I lost myself in this book. as well. as her other books.keep cranking them out please

[Joseph B. · Rating 5 out of 5]

I did not realize I had not written a review of this book yet. That's ... kinda tragic, because this book, this series, is amazing.

It's the story of an absolute jerk, a narcissist who yanks every chain around him and is tolerated solely for his ability - where he's tolerated. And yet he carries himself with a charm that's irresistable even on the printed page. He's contracted to help a knight do something... unknightly, because sometimes the rules get in the way, and he goes about it in his own time and on his own path, and the series unfolds as he is mirrored around him.

For a reader, there's SO much to look forward to: it's written quite well, the characterization is tight and unpredictable in the best of ways. The story construction is like that of a ghost story around a campfire, all angles and ideas that feel like they should be familiar, combined in ways that surprise and delight you, and under it all there's an incredible portrayal of a psychological balance.

I'm not an easy reader to please, but this series launched Hudson for me; she's one of my favorite authors, period, because her writing is inventive and entertaining and full of meat and aware of its own intellectual potential.

Highly, highly, HIGHLY recommended. I'd give it ten stars if I could.

[Kevin Kempf · Rating 4 out of 5]

I got this book from the good folks at Shadow Alley Press, all they asked for was an honest review. It took me a a couple chapters to decide if I was going to like Jubal Van Zandt and the post apocalyptic world he inhabits. I kept reading and found myself sucked in. Jubal seems to cycle wildly between unmitigated asshat and severely damaged decent guy. The Bloodslinger is also a mystery she’s obviously damaged, but is she just a damaged person in search of retribution and closure, or is she a pure psycho on a quest for mayhem and murder? I enjoyed the fact that I couldn’t decide one way or the other about their true character. The story kept me second guessing my conclusions about what was going on and who was manipulating who. I finished the book and even though some things seemed clear, the ending opened more questions. I’ll definitely be reading book two. This one gets a solid 4 star Nerd stamp of approval.

[Mark · Rating 1 out of 5]

Carina: I want to pay you lots of money to help me.
Jubal: Bite me idiot. And give me the money.
Carina: Are you just a complete asshole?
Jubal: Yes. Idiot pig face.
Carina: Well, then obviously I'm not going to hire you.
Jubal: Ha ha ha. I'm the protagonist so you have to hire me even if it makes no sense. Idiot pig face stinky butt cry baby. Whatcha going to do about it.

(The actual Jubal is far worse but I couldn't force myself to reread to copy the actual dialog. Also I kind of think infantilizing the dialog helps emphasize how dumb this is.)

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

LOVED IT!!! That ending!! I had one main issue and it's a weird thing. Maybe I missed something but why did she bring the best thief on this mission? I mean, he didn't seem to help much or use his skills for anything mission related. as much as I loved Can Zandt (he cracked me UP) I was bothered by that for some reason. I am excited for the next one now. Have to find out where this is going.

[Joseph Siedenstrang · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jubal Van Zandt...Bloodslinger

Unique, the had me asking an I following this...but enjoyed the bumpy ride. Lots of unexpected
twists. Refreshing self centered perception where I think, I could do that, no probably not but gives insight into those who can. Scary good job.

[Mr Tdj · Rating 5 out of 5]

I liked it, there was plenty of movement and an endearing twist to it that thankfully didnt fall into the trope of angst ridden hero's getting it on after a desperate fight....

[Leibowitz · Rating 3 out of 5]

good idea, well written, not a fan of the cliffhanger ending

[Tom Schofield · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. Smart mouthed, despicable and thoroughly likeable thief Jubal van Zandt saved me from boring train rides. Can't wait to read the next one.