Death of a Parent: Transition to a New Adult Identity

by Debra Umberson

In the midst of the busiest years of our lives and careers, just as many of us are beginning to confront our own aging, we are likely to lose a parent--and as commonplace, even expected, as any such event may be, the reperscussions can be dramatic. This book sets out in clear and comprehensive terms what the death of a parent means to most adults--how it in fact functions as a turning point in our emotional, social, and personal lives. Drawing on her own groundbreaking research, in-depth interviews, and data collected nationwide, Debra Umberson explores the social and psychological factors that determine how this important loss will affect us--as a personal crisis or an opportunity for healthy change. Her book shows how adults, far from the "finished" beings we are often assumed to be, can be profoundly transformed by the death of a parent--in beliefs, behavior, goals, sense of self--transformed in ways that will continue to affect us, for better or worse, for the rest of our lives. Debra Umberson is Professor and Chair of Sociology at the University of Texas at Austin. She is the only scholar to have published on the topic of parental death in adulthood using national data, and her resume includes 36 published articles and chapters in leading academic journals and books on family and health topics. Dr. Umberson has received many awards. She won an award for her research for Death of a Parent from FIRST Award from the National Institute on Aging. Umberson's newest research, which is also sponsored by the National Institute of Aging, focuses on how marital quality changes over the life course. Umberson is currently serving as an elected officer of both the Mental Health Section and the Medical Sociology Section of the American Sociological Association (the national professional association of sociologists in the United States). She has served as deputy editor of the Journal of Health and Social Behavior and associate editor of the Journal of Family Issues. She is currently associate editor of Journal of Marriage and the Family.

Genres: Psychology, Grief, Personal Growth, Nonfiction, Death

264 pages, Paperback

First published June 30, 1999

Reviews

[Ezgi · Rating 4 out of 5]

İletişim Yayınları'nda çevrilmişi var.
Oldukça kapsamlı bir çalışma. Bir yıldızı da bana fazla gelen tekrarlardan kırıyorum.

[Kathryn Bashaar · Rating 2 out of 5]

My mother died early this month. When I am troubled by something, I often turn to books to help me understand what I'm facing and how to deal with it emotionally. I found nothing in this book that accomplished either of those goals.

I think the book is targeted at people like me, who have recently lost a parent, and to psychotherapists who work with them. It is based on a pretty broad research study of how adults tend to react to the death of a parent. But I felt like it just presented the findings and a lot of quotes from people who were surveyed, without doing much interpretation of the findings or offering any real comfort to the bereaved.

Like my reviews? Check out my blog at http://www.kathrynbashaar.com/blog/
Author of The Saints Mistress https://camcatbooks.com/Books/T/The-S...

[Meltem Vural · Rating 3 out of 5]

Bu kitabı babamı kaybettikten sonra okumaya karar verdim. Kitap ebeveynini kaybeden bir bireyin hayatında yeni bir döneme girdiğine değiniyor. Bunun dışında kitapta sayısal veriler de mevcut. Beklentilerimi tam karşıladı dersem yalan olur. Nitekim daha derin bir kitap olduğu kanısı ile başlamıştım. Ancak verilen örnek vakalar ve yas süreci ile gelen yeni dönemi aydınlatması açısından bilgilendirici. Çevirisi güzel , dili sade.

[jengi haze · Rating 3 out of 5]

ordinary loss, extraordinary change

[Funda Guzer · Rating 1 out of 5]

İletişim yayınlarının bu serisinden bu kadar kötü kitap okumadım. Diğer konulardaki kitaplar cesurca kitap konularının görülmemiş, arada kalmış , değerlendirilmemiş ama bir o kadar önemli konularına değiniyordu . Kitabın yazarı Debra Umberson konu ile ilgili ilginç hiçbir şey katmamış. Üstüne konu üzerinde akademik olması beni daha da şaşırttı . Ebeveyniniz bile olsa konuşarak anlaşamayacağınız insanların da olduğu , belki kendi döneminde bu farklı idi ama günümüzde çoğunluktalar , hatırlatılmalı . Yazara biraz travma kitaplarından okumasını tavsiye edesim geldi . Günümüzde bırakın ebeveynin çocuklarının gelişimine katkıda bulunmasını , çocuklarını asıp kesiyorlar . Maalesef beklentimin çok altında bir kitap ama kitabın son 8 sayfası konunun bilimselliğine yer vermiş. Yani 1000+ kişi üzerinde yapılan çalışmadan bahsediyor .

[Rita · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was written as a result of research. In the beginning, it has a bit of a statistical feel. As it progresses, however, it reveals the psychology and grief process of losing a parent / parents. While all aspects cannot be covered because of divergent and differing family situations, she does give some good basic overview of why we respond in various ways. Being an analytical person myself, I found it interesting. The chapter that dealt with siblings is, of course, limited due to the endless range of possibilities. The chapter that deals with relating to the bereaved is excellent. If you are one who seeks understanding, I would recommend this book.

[Robin · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

While I thought there were some good things about this book, I felt over half of the book didn't really apply to me, so those parts weren't interesting for me. I it was beneficial to read because it showed that many of the things I feel are very common. Especially things like the sudden realization that I myself am also mortal, something I kind of never accepted/thought about.

There are other good things in the book, but everyone will have to deal with their own loss in their own way, for me this book was a little helpful. But no book you will read will give you all the solutions.

[Marie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book had a few paragraphs that resonated with me but I also skipped large chunks that did not apply to me at all such as being a parent myself or how grief effects marriages. Overall, mostly just a statistical book but I still appreciated reading it. My expectations were low because I knew it wouldn't and couldn't be tailored just for me. The process is so incredibly different for each person - I feel you need to read a variety of books and then mesh together the pieces of each that work for you.

[Esra · Rating 3 out of 5]

Çok fazla tekrara düşmesi dışında yas hakkında farklı açılardan düşünmemi sağladı

[corinne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Full disclosure: Deb's my advisor here at UT, so obviously I think this book is great. But, here are some specifics:

The book is easy to read.

Gives great historical context as to why the death of a parent is different now than it was, say, 40 years ago (we live longer and die more slowly!).

Umberson interviewed tons of folks who have lost their parents and gets advice on all sorts of things. She matches this qualitative data with national stats.

This book is especially good for spouses or partners of folks who have lost their parents. It gives the what to-do and what not to-do if someone you love loses a parent.

Overall, this book offers practical advice and is a must-read for those of us who are ready to admit that we all, including our loved ones and ourselves, will die one day.

[MaryKay Keller · Rating 5 out of 5]

As an author, researcher, educator and relationship coach, I agree with what Kristen wrote. My mother died in August of 2012 this book based upon research was such a comfort to me as I went through the process of letting her go. My relationship with my mother was very complicated. I am a researcher and I found it comforting to have the information and the real life examples that I could relate to, I plan on giving this book as gifts to others. This is a topic we do not discuss in this society until one of our parents die. It needs to be discussed sooner in Life Skills classes and Human Development classes. The research is credible. So grateful for having searched Amazon and finding this book! Mary Kay Keller, PhD

[Jessi · Rating 4 out of 5]

So far, this is the only book I've read about losing a parent. It was definitely a good one for me...found myself nodding and agreeing a lot. It's so hard to explain to people what it feels like but this book helped me put some of it into word to share.

[Lara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Didn't finish this - will return to it another time as the information was helpful.

[Türkay · Rating 1 out of 5]

Toplumsal farklılıklar, aile ilişkilerindeki farklılıklar, birey oluştaki farklılıklar, anlatım biçimi vb. Çok sayıda nedenden sevemedim...

[Barbara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Somewhat repetitive, but very helpful.