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Confessions of an American Doctor: A true story of greed, ego and loss of ethics

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Librarian Note: See Alternate Cover Edition HERE.

In 2005, I was arrested by agents from both the US Postal Service and the Food and Drug Administration for the importation of illegal human growth hormone and botulinum toxin (Botox) from China.

At the time of my arrest, I was a thirty-seven year old Harvard graduate with medical and post-doctoral degrees. I attended one of the finest residency and fellowship training programs in the world at the University of California, San Francisco. I played two sports in college, earned awards at every level of education and training, had wonderful friends and a beautiful three-year-old daughter. Having grown up the son of a restaurant manager and a housewife, I had transcended the humble beginnings of a small Midwestern town to become the quintessential American Dream.

Or so I thought.

But with my arrest on felony importation charges, everything I had worked so hard for was swept away and the entire trajectory of my life was indelibly altered. I would embark on a three year battle not only for my medical license, but also for my freedom. This journey would lead to intense personal introspection, and in that process, I would discover with ugliness, there was also beauty, and with punishment, mercy.

There are many reasons I have written this manuscript, with one of the most important being that I hoped my story would resonate with others who have gone through difficult circumstances as a consequence of a dark side of their personality. With this book, I hope to inspire others to accept and embrace the good and bad, while continually striving for improved self-understanding and acceptance.

I have changed names primarily for legal purposes, but the facts are unchanged. Although the events described in the book occurred more than ten years ago, I think about them nearly every day. The shame and humiliation are ever-present. Any simple Google search of my name reveals the truth, and that truth has affected me over and over, despite the years, as it probably should. As the judge told me that day in a federal courtroom, "You have betrayed the public's trust."

This is my confessional.

518 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 10, 2016

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Max Kepler

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5 stars
266 (42%)
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211 (34%)
3 stars
89 (14%)
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28 (4%)
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews
Profile Image for Laura.
827 reviews121 followers
December 21, 2017
A true crime memoir with a twist. The author is not a career criminal, but rather a highly qualified and respected doctor with several degrees and a PHD. This is his story of how his desire to become rich and famous backfired and affected his family, his livelihood and his reputation.

Well written and unapologetic in its style, Max details his background and how he came to work in the medical field. Despite being anything but naive, he is soon drawn into the illicit world of human growth hormone importation, an illegal practice very much in the public eye during the early noughties.

Following his arrest and the subsequent investigation, the author is refreshingly honest in his descriptions of his struggle with anxiety and of trying to maintain a healthy father daughter relationship with his young child.

I would have liked to have read a little more of what happened after, perhaps an epilogue would have sufficed. I want to know - where is he now?

An interesting and thought provoking tale of egotism and a catastrophic fall from grace.
Profile Image for HR-ML.
1,274 reviews56 followers
March 7, 2024
Gave this memoir 2.5 stars.

Small town Ohio boy Max Kepler was an over-achiever
in sports & the medical field. He attended Harvard, Boston
University, & University of California San Francisco. He
earned a PhD in Pharmacology & MD, specializing in
rheumatology & internal medicine.

Max had a bald spot, he saw a reference for a hair growth
product. He contacted biochemist Lance, who held a patent
on this hair product. Max did a superficial check on Lance,
saw no evidence of a PhD, no evidence of published scientific
papers. Max did not listen when 2 people suggested Max
investigate Lance before M+L became business partners.
On the side, Lance sold human Growth Hormone (hGH) to
pro athletes.

Soon Max wanted hGH for his new cosmetic medicine clinic
on the side. He sold the patients on "anti-aging." He had
no training on risks/ benefits & what if the procedure went
south? After a time the feds did undercover work on Max
(another red flag). His one patient asked too many relevant
questions. I wanted to say "think Max, think."

Max was self-centered and driven. I nearly stopped reading
1/3 into the story. This brainy man made dumb choices in his
search for wealth & recognition. He forgot the physician's
creed: "1st do no harm." And he down-played the safety risk
to patients during his treatment experimentation. He was
outside the scope of his training, he knew this and he did
it anyway.
Profile Image for Amanda.
104 reviews11 followers
July 16, 2017
One of the most unlikeable first person authors I've finished. Even his repentance doesn't make him likeable. The idea that someone so smart could be so dumb. All of that for a hair peptide? Really? A man's bald spot did that much damage. Amazing.
Profile Image for Janice Richardson.
Author 11 books102 followers
June 2, 2017
This man made a mistake. We all make mistakes. This doctor made choices. We all make choices. He had a difficult upbringing. Many of have had difficult childhoods, similar or worse.
Driven to succeed, he made a decision, a choice to ignore the warning signs and stop signs that made his activity illegal. Greed was the driver. Money was his motivation. With blinders on, he barreled into a felony charge.
He struggled to understand and explain why he did what he did, he also did accept responsibility for his actions. He wasn't helping people, he was helping himself get rich.
Arrested and charged with a felony, he crashed. Redemption and pardon weren't possible, he could not buy that. Humiliated and ashamed, he was honest with the authorities and eventually he worked on becoming honest with himself. He learned to face his shortcomings.
I liked this book. Nobody is perfect. Some of us just fall a little further than others. Hitting bottom can become the beginning of redemption and peace. It's part of growing up.
The Hippocratic Oath states - 'I will abstain from all intentional wrong-doing and harm.' Unfortunately, he chose to risk his patients lives with unregulated drugs. No one died, but they could have. He was lucky they caught him in time. This book isn't just about self-harm, he had the potential to hurt or kill another human being.
After his arrest, he was emotional, paranoid, with high anxiety. He had been using the drugs on himself for which there are known side-effects and withdrawal symptoms. Vanity, cosmetic procedures, anti-aging, sports performance enhancement. Why? What is the matter with our society? People don't need to be pretty or stronger. Wrinkles don't hurt, sports should be about teams and exercise, not becoming superhuman. Pretty or stronger is not a matter of life or death unless you make a choice to take those drugs.
He was a physician, a scientist, the person with the most knowledge. He was treating patients who had serious illnesses and pain and he threw it away for vanity medicine?
Glad I found this book. It's priced well as an ebook, making it affordable for everyone.
1 review
July 12, 2017
Would not recommend

The book was too long, too self serving. The protagonist gets into his accomplishments over and over again. Badly edited, grammatical errors, factual mistakes. I finished it just because......Never got to like the protagonist, actually disliked him immensely.
Profile Image for Richard Croner.
112 reviews2 followers
June 20, 2017
This was an excellent book, well written and very disturbing. Let me first state that I am convinced we have the best governmental system on the face of this planet BUT anybody who thinks that it is perfect and a true reflection of a fair and unbiased system that dispenses "justice" is kidding themselves and probably never been subjected to the microscope of the many governmental agencies that have unlimited resources (compared to an individual) and charged with enforcing the myriad laws in this country. I base this statement upon personal experience with the system and even though it was almost 30 years ago it seems like yesterday. The similarities between the author's experience and mine are great. I did not have the legal expertise that was described in the book but that was my fault due to my inexperience in determining what was necessary to protect my interests. In other words, my stupidity. The justice system in this country is money driven. If you have the resources and the capability to make wise decisions an individual has a chance but that is as far as it goes. If, as in my case, you are charged with a felony and lose it is a Life sentence. I know because I have served it. It really doesn't matter what kind of written punishment the legal system applies no matter how insignificant. You will pay the price for the rest of your life. As rigorous as it was in the book, Dr. Kepler played the game well and did good. He had great people working for him, adequate resources and the proper attitude. Plus, in my opinion, he was lucky. So, enough of this soliloquy, it is a good book and will expand your horizon on life in today's world. Read it with an open mind and put yourself in his shoes.
83 reviews2 followers
July 31, 2017
Well-Written Expose Of One Man's Fall From Grace And The "Beginnings" Of His Recovery

Overall, I enjoyed this book. It was well-written, and the doctor came across as truly repentant, albeit with some tinge of ego-protecting rationalization at work. (But I think that's a trait many of us share and can relate to. ) The incredibly positive support he received from his employer and "friends" was obviously a testament to his character. (He actually got 20 people, some he hadn't seen in years to take off work and appear at a hearing for him.) Before noting a couple of personal observations that I feel compelled to make, while at the same time recognizing that they reflect nothing more than my own subjective opinions, I do want to note a more general concern about the doctor's failure to include any specifics concerning the community service work he was ordered to perform. Surely given the time frame covered by the book, he should have at least started that work - but he provided no information whatsoever about it. Now for my own two personal "peeves": I was somewhat disappointed with the doctor's lack of truthfulness in dealing with his daughter, especially with regard to his explanation of his ankle monitor since the memory of seeing some black box around your father's leg is likely one that would be retained by a child; presumably, she will eventually be told the truth, especially in light of the fact that he's now published a book about his criminal activity. I was also a little astounded by his half-hearted speculation at the end of the book about ressurecting his "follicle work" since it seemed to me that would border too closely with the practice of "cosmetically-related" medicine that he was required to give up.
Profile Image for Leigh Podgorski.
Author 16 books112 followers
June 18, 2017
An Extraordinary Journey: Thank-You Dr. Kepler.

I picked up this book because the sub-title led me to believe this memoir would be a juicy summertime confessional from a super ego driven by greed, just one more in a countless parade of egos and bottom-liners in a society quickly losing its heart, soul, dignity, and humanity. I couldn't have been more wrong.
Dr. Kepler, and I will address him as nothing else, writes in a straightforward, unvarnished manor. His narrative is crisp, clear, often very funny and witty, often heart-wrenching, and brutally honest.
I had to remind myself often that this guy had committed some hefty criminal acts as I found myself pulling so hard for him.
He finds himself casting blame at times unto others, but almost immediately, he rescinds it, finding the true target: himself.
There is one brief mention of a letter from a patient that writes re the high cost of meds in the US--which, indeed, is criminal, but a digression.
Dr. Kepler bares his soul, and the journey he takes is nothing shy of true enlightenment. His courage is boundless. He has fallen to the Gates of Hell, and returned with a cleansed soul. And not only that, but with the greatness of spirit to share that journey.
You must read this book.
I finished it in tears.
I will never forget Dr. Kepler, his journey, and his great courage.
10 reviews1 follower
July 22, 2020
This book is terrible - I cannot believe it has a 4 star average! It begins with a foreword that states that it is self-serving (it is indeed) but the author suggests that he wrote it so that something good could come of what he’d done...so it could benefit others (it doesn’t).
It isn’t well written and he isn’t a compelling narrator. He appears to genuinely believe that he should not have had to go to prison (serving 3 months in a halfway house) and that he should not have had his medical license revoked (it was but not really, I think they gave him a stay, that part was glossed over). His rationale for why he shouldn’t have faced significant consequences? Because he spent his whole life getting what he wanted (including being accepted into medical school without having taken the MCAT).
I disliked him and his pedantic writing style from the very beginning but it only got worse - by the end, when he is writing poetry (it’s bad) and spouting self-help platitudes, I found that I didn’t care one bit about what happened to him. I’m not sure how his book was supposed to help others, as he never revisited that line from his foreword.
423 reviews2 followers
July 3, 2017
A dissatisfied physician gets involved with illegally importing and prescribing drugs. After he's arrested he seeks redemption. My main problem with this book is that I'm not sure how much of it, or even if any of it, is true. The names of all the characters are fictional and the author uses a pseudonym so I see no way to check. The science and the proposed scientific methodology sometimes seems dubious. There's many twists in this book and much more drama than you'd normally expect to find in a true to life story. The supposed naivety of the protagonist is not always convincing. True or not it's a well written and at times gripping tale, although it's somewhat too long and the doctor whines too much and too repetitively about his sins. I'm giving this book 4 stars because of the story, which I basically enjoyed. But if I were to rate it on its veracity I'd give it 1 star because, right or wrong, I'm very suspicious.
Profile Image for Shannon Lee.
101 reviews
September 18, 2017
An interesting read, although as a physician, I found myself shaking my head frequently at the lack of insight this man had. His ego was bigger than his integrity, unfortunately, and that is ultimately what this book is about. That and the fact that the entire memoire is obviously a catharsis for Dr Max Kepler, and for that he makes no apologies. He had the most amazing support from his ex-wife and colleagues. The book is a bit cumbersome as a literary work - too many descriptors of the mundane - the play-by-play details of morning ablutions and the garage where he parked his car, etc. Doesn't make for riveting prose but certainly helps to fill that magic minimum page requirement.
Profile Image for Koren .
1,187 reviews41 followers
June 24, 2017
I liked this book as a true crime because it was different. A doctor who commits an ethics violation and pays for it over and over. The first half of the book is about the crime. The second half is about all the hoops he had to go through to stay out of prison. The author of the book is the doctor, himself. I think he did a good job of telling the story from the perspective of all the players. While he has a likeable personality and you want him to come out on top, what he did was wrong and he knew it. It is scary to think that doctors could be doing what he did and getting away with it.
Profile Image for Linda.
Author 9 books42 followers
July 17, 2017
What a journey

This was quite the story of a doctor who decides to start prescribing hgh on the side and gets caught. As he battles with both the courts and his ego, the ups and downs never seem to end. He's not always the most sympathetic of characters as he berates his long suffering lawyer and struggles to accept his fate, but the writing seems honest and will hold your attention to the very end.
200 reviews12 followers
April 24, 2019
I started to read this, was not fond of the writing style, and was taken aback on page 18 when the book said DMSO requires a prescription. No, it most certainly does not! I read about 20 more pages, when the author was feeling sorry for himself, and a few things that just did not ring true about his mother's cancer and what he found out about it and how he explained it. I stopped, scanned through much of the book, and set it aside.
9 reviews2 followers
March 13, 2020
Well written story of a doctor who failed and redeemed himself

I couldn't put the book down. It drew me in from the beginning and held my interest. His journey touched me and the details showed how something so wrong could have such devastating consequences. But the end of his misdeeds show how he never lost faith . His book was like being on a roller coaster and how happy he was when the ride was over. I really, really enjoyed this book!
172 reviews1 follower
May 29, 2017
Good read

Life as a physician has so many possibilities. It is a road with financial hardship, mental hardships and personal hardships. Enjoyed this book as it revealed the story of one man as he strives to reach goals for his family and how he wouldn't let his love for medicine and his family be terminated.
4 reviews
May 30, 2017
.

As a physician I identified closely with Max and the horrible situation that he found himself in. Taking me through his experiences helped me to grow as a person and physician. This is not only a well written book but one of the most influential books I've ever read. The impact will stay with me always. Excellent book.
Profile Image for Leigh Roberts.
107 reviews3 followers
June 5, 2017
Very entertaining

There are a few typos which really bother me. There are a few errors when talks about his wife having IVF, if he's so smart and has multiple degrees he should know what he's talking about

Overall the story was very entertaining. It kept me reading and wanting to know what happened next. I would recommend this book.
8 reviews
June 11, 2017
Interesting read

Interesting read about an extremely self driven man who achieves much but risks it all without thinking about consequences and with much foolishness and blindness. The story details the legal process, various government agencies and medical board hearings and the personal development through a very long process
7 reviews
June 14, 2017
Shocking that a doctor would deliberately commit these crimes

Anyone who has children and loving family would certainly stop and think of them before committing crimes like these. Max seemed to feel he was a victim after he was arrested. I felt so bad for his parents and his little girl. He had such a good life and threw it away because he was bored ! He needs to grow up.
3 reviews2 followers
April 8, 2018
Phenomenal writer! Gripping true story!

Max Kepler is one of the best authors I have ever read. His story is compelling; his mistakes serious; his honesty refreshing; his journey nail biting! He pulls you into his story, and I found myself caring deeply about how every scenario ended! Very suspenseful!!
11 reviews
December 7, 2018
Good read

Max, l enjoyed your book, but grow up and stop whining. You should have gone to prison and you make a halfway house sound like a prison. I admire your dedication to your daughter, but maybe you should of considered her more than your own vanity. Good luck and buck up a little harder.
4 reviews
September 17, 2020
Incredible honest and insightful

I found the journey remarkable as this physician lost his way in the midst of life as a doctor,After his arrest and long cruel judicial torture he was transformed back to his early aspirations. His trials made him grateful for his gifts and his profession
22 reviews
June 3, 2017
Interesting read

I enjoyed the story very much, but I was disturbed by the many errors! One whole paragraph was repeated; grammatical errors were plentiful. Seems that little to no proofreading was done.
6 reviews
June 27, 2017
Amazing

Well written story about the evolution of a physician from a demi God to a mortal human being. I was captured by his story and could not put the book down until I finished it. I highly recommend this book.
Profile Image for Sharon.
364 reviews2 followers
July 3, 2017
An interesting read.

A morality tale about the dangers of unchecked ambition and greed. Brings home the idea that ethical concerns are intended as protection against making poor choices. I liked it, it got to seem that he would never get to the end of his problems, but he did.
Profile Image for Jerry.
124 reviews4 followers
July 4, 2017
Money or Reputation

I found this to be a an eye opening expose of how this medical doctor chose money over the welfare of his patients. I am certain there are more like him in the country. I hope it isn't one of mine!
48 reviews1 follower
July 9, 2017
Very Good!

Although there is much legalese, there is excitement and disappointment, and a lot of knowledge to be had. The well-earned ending is well worth the ups and downs! I highly recommend to all adults!
Profile Image for Holly.
1 review
August 7, 2017
Really good

At first the book kinda starts off slow and may not seem as interesting, but I decided to keep reading it and as I read I had to keep going cause the suspense of what was gonna happen next just mAde you want to really know. But it was a great book I thought!
Profile Image for Debra M.
17 reviews1 follower
December 3, 2019
Second chances

While much has been said about second chances at life, Dr. Kepler earned his second chance not only by adhering to his punishment, but also by confessing it. For me, his story was well told and evoked sympathy.
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