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The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict
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The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict

4.25  ·  Rating details ·  4,188 ratings  ·  262 reviews
Jesus said, "Blessed are the peacemakers." But it often seems like conflict and disagreement are unavoidable. Serious, divisive conflict is everywhere-within families, in the church, and out in the world. And it can seem impossible to overcome its negative force in our lives.

In The Peacemaker, Ken Sande presents a comprehensive and practical theology for conflict resoluti
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Paperback, 320 pages
Published January 1st 2004 by Baker Books (first published October 1st 1990)
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Bambi Moore
Sep 28, 2018 rated it really liked it
Very good, practical, guidebook solidly based on Biblical principles. Covers root causes of conflict (with anyone, including a spouse), communication, what Biblical forgiveness is, consequences of unforgiveness, example after example of grace-filled reconciliations, sinful tactics we use to avoid loving confrontation, why conflict is full of opportunity and much more. Extremely thorough. I skimmed parts on court litigations.
Bob Price
May 23, 2013 rated it liked it
Conflict is inevitable. You put two people in a room and you will get at least five different opinions on something and they will fight.

Ken Sande's book The Peacemaker is designed to help resolve conflict and be restored to one another. The concept may seem simple, and a lot of what Sande says is common sense, but it is still a book that should be required reading, especially in the church.

Sande's main point is that God hates conflict and that we should do whatever we can to resolve conflict.
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David Zimmerman
Jul 01, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: favorites
I purchased my first copy of The Peacemaker off a discount shelf. I figured I had little to lose at 75% off the cover price. Since then, I have purchased and given away many copies of this wonderful book. It is the best resource I own on resolving conflict biblically AND successfully. After 30 years in full-time ministry, it is still on my Top Reads.

The strength of The Peacemaker is that it avoids the all-too-common trend of presenting humanistic principles of psychology dressed up in religious
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Carrie ReadingtoKnow
May 01, 2018 rated it really liked it
I'm giving this book 4 stars and not 5 for a simple reason: it's a good resource in the hands of a faithful, humble Christian and a weapon in the hands of a person who isn't.

This book came highly recommended to me (years ago) and I finally got around to reading it. It has very good advice for how to handle interpersonal conflicts with others. There are excellent scriptural reminders that it is important to resolve conflict. Tips on how to approach a difficult conversation with whom you are at od
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Natalie Weber
Feb 29, 2020 rated it it was amazing
This is one of those books that I had heard about multiple times, but never felt compelled to read because I didn’t have a situation that seemed to warrant it. Well, God saw fit to change that. It’s been a long, slow read over a couple of years. My perspective has been challenged and changed as I’ve pondered the biblical truths and insights that author Ken Sande makes. Perhaps most of all, I am learning to see conflict as an opportunity to glorify God rather than something to avoid or react to.

W
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Cindy
Apr 19, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: 2019
Very helpful book. I should reread it several times!
Jonathan Brooker
Jul 14, 2020 rated it it was amazing
I would have expected a book of this kind, and one about to reach it's 30-year mark would feel dated and overly self-helpy. After all, it was written during a time where many Christian books of this nature ended up feeling more like self-help with Jesus tacked on. But this work on the biblical position of peacemaking was absolutely phenomenally executed and has held up very well over the years since Sande first wrote it.

There was such care given to the prolific use of Scripture. No cherry-pickin
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Hudson Christmas
Our youth group has been going through this book throughout this semester, and it has been an absolute blessing. Ken Sande and Kevin Johnson describe the Biblical approach to conflict in a practical and easy to read way, that is perfect for middle-school and high-school students. The Biblical truths are so rich that any adult Christian would easily profit from the truth that they write about. Incredibly convicting and immensely practical, I would highly highly suggest this book, as we all encoun ...more
Sean Blacksten
Nov 01, 2017 rated it it was amazing
I have never read a book on interpersonal relationships with this level of practical, helpful and needed content like this one. Most of us avoid conflict or wait until our frustration builds up to the point of exploding on another person. This is a must read for anyone dealing with a difficult relationship in their life. Ken's wisdom and experience as a lawyer and commited follow of Jesus makes this book worth the time and effort to read it.
Donald Owens II
Apr 03, 2018 rated it really liked it
A very helpful manual on dealing with interpersonal conflict. Maybe a bit heavy on lists and pat answers, reminiscent of Bill Gothard and Jay Adams (in fact, I think I recognized some terminology), but very practical for all that, and biblically sound.
Raquel Evans
Jan 28, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: nonfiction
This seems to be a solidly Biblical guide to dealing with conflicts.
John Rakshith Prabhakar
Jun 18, 2019 rated it it was amazing
A very helpful and practical guide to resolving personal conflict. Full of wisdom!
Julie
Apr 04, 2020 rated it it was amazing
In The Peacemaker, Ken Sande details how to approach conflicts with humility and grace, and thus glorify God. It is well organized and biblically sound - easier to read than to put into practice!
Ruth
Apr 22, 2019 rated it really liked it
Quite practical; staff were trained & we used some of these principles at school with success. Especially good to use as a group strategy. ...more
Laura
Apr 26, 2017 rated it really liked it
This took way too long to finish but finish I did! It is a wonderful how-to book for Biblical conflict resolution but it would have benefited from more examples and stories. Without those, it was dry and boring in many parts even though the content itself was excellent.
Chad Warner
Mar 16, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Christians
Recommended to Chad by: Pastor Dodds
Helpful, biblical guidance on how to bring conflict to peaceful resolution. Sande is a lawyer, full-time Christian conciliator, and church elder. The audiobook doesn't include all the Scripture citations that are in text version. I listened to the abridged audiobook.

I read this because it was recommended by a pastor who's a biblical counselor and very familiar with Sande's Peacemaker Ministries and Relational Wisdom 360.

Part 1: Glorify God
Conflict Provides Opportunities
Personal peacemaking (can
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Jeff Burket
Jan 15, 2020 rated it really liked it
Lovely book that seeks to connect the deeply theologically profound (the central Christian tenant that Christ died for our sins while we were still sinners and we are to live our lives in response to this truth) with the very practical- in this case conflict management. It seeks to do what we as Christians should always do (yet often fail to) - consider how the gospel speaks to and guides a specific way we go about our life, relationships, and communication. Especially in areas of conflict and n ...more
Jon Harris
Nov 30, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: counseling
Ken Sande’s practical book, The Peacemaker, will teach the average layman all the way up to the powerful executive what it means to follow in the steps of the Prince of Peace. In a down-to-earth way, Sande explores what the Bible has to say about peacemaking, while at the same time interjecting his own powerful personal and career-related experience to demonstrate its applicability. Did you know that the central message of the Bible is that of making peace between parties adverse to each other? ...more
Matt
Sep 06, 2011 rated it it was amazing
This is a truly useful book for any Christian not living in seclusion... Instead of another "Christian" book about conflict, with pithy admonitions to resolve it because of our faith, Sande creates a compilation of strategies to actually DO something. Chapters are basically lists, charts, and/or checklists with further explanation of each individual segment. That's not to say that Sande is absent from the book as a writer, in fact the personal stories that he shares give credibility to his theor ...more
Jenn
Jul 25, 2017 rated it really liked it
"conflict provides opportunities to glorify God, serve people, and grow to be like Christ" (p 259). I have started this book several times without finishing it until it became painfully obvious that I wasn't dealing with personal and professional conflict in a healthy way. I needed a new perspective to frame the conflict and to address it rather than leading me to discouragement, resentment​, and bitterness. The first two parts of this book (Glorify God and Get The Log Out of Your Eye) struck at ...more
Giedra
Jan 11, 2009 rated it it was ok
Read with church group. I thought the ideas in this book were good--but most of them seemed obvious to me, and I could have done without all the "7 Keys to This" and "4 Ts of That."

However, despite my negative review, I would still recommend the book for someone looking for concrete ideas on how to work through conflict, particularly if you are someone who avoids conflict or if you anticipate that conflict could become uncivil to where reconciliation becomes that much more difficult to achieve.
Alexis Neal
Oct 27, 2010 rated it really liked it
An excellent resource, both for personal conflict resolution and for larger scale conflicts. Sande keeps the focus on the gospel, which he presents clearly throughout the book. His conflict resolution principles are solidly rooted in the gospel, and, quite frankly, make a lot of sense from a psychological perspective.

All too often, poor conflict resolution skills result in the accidental escalation of conflict. This book should be required reading for all married/engaged couples and all pastors
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Tamara
Apr 27, 2009 rated it really liked it
An excellent and extremely relevant book that covers conflict resolution over everything from small annoyances to legal cases. It's very practical and constantly references the Gospel of God's grace as our foundation for how we handle conflict. It is also laid out so it can be a good reference if you don't have time to read the whole book. The first chapter summarizes the book and was worth the price of the book by itself.
Peter Pinyol
Oct 17, 2014 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I enjoy reading this books. I have been readings others from the same topic in this time of my ministry, and I really believes this one gives a very practical way of resolving conflicts, it is sad that just a few christians follows the principles pressented in this book. Conflict is not an enemy is a friendthat help us to resolve truth, the problem is that we do not know how to work or deal with conflic and for that reason there are so many unresolved situation in our churches today.
Amanda R
May 05, 2009 rated it it was amazing
A must read! Too many valuable and practical lessons to list here, but one that stands out is the description and practical explanation of forgiveness. I have spent many Sundays sitting in churches, and I have never heard a compelling and practical explanation of what it means to forgive and what that looks like, but I found it in this book.
David King
Jul 16, 2014 rated it really liked it
A theology of conflict resolution. Written in handbook format, it weaves the biblical foundation throughout a detailed explanation of how to put things into practice. This is my 3rd or 4th time through the book in the past 15 years, and I am still trying to figure out how to consistently put this into practice.
Rachel
One of the most helpful books I have read this year. Definitely a profitable read on resolving conflict. Ken Sande presents a Gospel-focused approach, encouraging a Biblical method to humbly addressing both your sin and your "enemy's" instead of just trying to solve the problem.
Rebekah Courter
Apr 08, 2014 rated it it was amazing
What an incredible book. I would consider it a must read for every Christian. We are called to be peacemakers. What are we doing about it?
Annie B.
Sep 26, 2018 rated it it was amazing
I cried when I first started this book because I had the thought, "Where has this been my whole life??"
Excellent and helpful.
Henry Bui
Jul 04, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
In the Peacemaker, Sande provides a practical, insightful and biblical model of conflict
resolution. The main intent of the book is to describe a simple yet effective 4G process (1-
Glorify God; 2-Get the log out of your eye; 3-Gently restore and 4-Go and be reconciled) (p.
12). Another main intent of the book is to help Christians correct the flawed worldview that is
being influenced by the prevalent secular culture and replace it with the biblical worldview.
The call is to be countercultural.
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Ken Sande is the founder of Peacemaker Ministries and president of a new ministry, Relational Wisdom 360. Trained as a mechanical engineer and lawyer, Ken is passionate about bringing the life-changing power of the gospel into the lives of Christians and their churches. He has used biblical peacemaking principles to minister to parties in hundreds of conflicts ranging from simple personal dispute ...more

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