Desert Sojourn: A Woman's Forty Days and Nights Alone

by Debi Holmes-Binney

At age 31, having left a stifling decade-long marriage, Debi Holmes Binney set off alone into the harsh Utah desert to find direction and spiritual renewal. Armed with only basic supplies and her writing journals, she spent an extended sojourn in a place by turns physically terrifying, psychologically invigorating, and gloriously beautiful. Her moving account will appeal to both physical and spiritual adventurers.

Genres: Nonfiction, Travel, Nature, Adventure, Memoir, Spirituality

256 pages, Paperback

First published May 1, 2000

Reviews

[Yaaresse · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book popped up on my rec list probably because I had read the excellendt Anthropology of Turquoise, which also takes place in the Utah desert. It really didn’t seem like something that would interest me–the whole “I am an amazing spiritual warrior because I gave up TV or sex or Diet Pepsi for a month” thing has gotten silly—but I decided it wouldn’t hurt to download a sample chapter. After finishing the sample, I had to read the book for two reasons: first, Holmes-Binney is very funny and knows how to set up a scene to show some true absurdity; second, any amateur camper deciding to spend forty days in a western Utah desert canyon in November and December is crazy as a loon.

It was certainly an entertaining read. I found myself literally laughing out loud, knowing while doing so that it’s really not nice to laugh at someone nearly dying a dozen times over. I couldn’t help it, though. My idea of camping involves room service and high thread-count linens, and even I know that cowboy boots are not appropriate in desert blizzards and a “boy’s first ax” isn’t of practical use for chopping firewood (or much else, really.)

Aside from the obvious humor where the author pokes fun at herself, I found the whole concept somewhat preposterous and the author pretty immature and self-absorbed. She talked a lot about how self-reliant and strong she was, but she seems to have expected her husband, then her boyfriend to do all the heavy lifting in making her happy…as if anyone can “make” someone else happy. When they fail to provide her with One True Purpose, she leaves them. “Hey, babe, it’s not you…it just that you aren’t existing just to make me feel like I’m the most important person on the planet.” Then she floats around from place to place before deciding that , yeah, Jesus and Mohammad went into seclusion in the desert, so I should do that, too. If I just go park myself on a rock, surely an archangel will come tell me what I’m supposed to be doing to fulfill my bliss. (I’m guess it never crossed her mind that those stories might be parables.) Clearly she made it the full 40 days—not a spoiler, it’s in the title. And she definitely learned that adrenaline and cortisol are amazing survival tools. In the end, however, I didn’t get any feeling that she really did much more than become a barely competent camper.

So, there’s plenty of “that time I did that crazy thing and damn near died” fodder for retelling over drinks, but don’t expect to read about any true soul-searching or true epiphanies here.

There was one thing that really bugged me to read: when using public lands, if you cart it in, you cart it out; leave no trace. She definitely didn’t do that. Not only did she leave the structure (which someone else clearly coveted and would have made use of), but not burying body wastes is just nasty camping. She’s lucky a mouse was the only thing that showed up.

[Amy Moyle · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's well written, but like others who have reviewed the book, I was disappointed that she didn't write more about her struggles. She spends a lot of time writing in her journal and I think there may have been more insights that popped up. One of the things that I found strange was that for all of the discussion about how capable she was to build a shelter and figure things out, she never figured out that she could collect rain water or snow to use for washing up. If you are going to spend 40 days in the desert, wouldn't you try to rely on some of the natural resources (other than firewood and rocks) instead of totally relying on the store bought water and things you brought with you?

[Denise · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is my third time reading Desert Sojourn. It was my companion this week as I took a solo trip to the Ozarks to spend a few days in an rustic cabin and hike in the Buffalo Nat'l Park before my birthday. Each time I read this book I am amazed at how much, and how little, Debi was changed by her 40 days alone in the desert.

2023 - rereading

[Kwinder · Rating 3 out of 5]

To me this was the perfect follow up to Two Old Woman (please read that first). The contrast between survival in the artic vs. this story's initial layout for alone time - is drastic. Yet, the story doesn't end there. There are inner battles dealing with the quiet and boredom of the desert and then all hell breaks loose - forty days can be a very long time to be away.

Book has some humor and some real life lessons. It is the travel log reported from a traveler, not a novel author. If you don't expect symbolism, and a life guide, rather image that your girlfriend just called to tell you about her "vacation" you'll find this a gem in the rough. A good at the beach read.

[Karin · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book wasn't nearly as satisfying as I'd hoped. I was expecting profoundness a la Anne Morrow Lindbergh or Thoreau (it should have been, she idolized him enough); but it just wasn't. I felt like at the end of her "sojourn", she still didn't "get it". She repaired one relationship, but left many of the others to continue in their unhealthiness. Ah well, I found it on a random stack search at the library.

[Lynn Bonelli · Rating 5 out of 5]

I almost let the reviews below sway me from reading this book (i started it in October and put it aside until today). Thankfully, I trusted my instincts and, I have to say, I loved it. I loved so much I finished it in a day (thanks snow day!).

I'm a little baffled by some of the criticism from my fellow readers...things like asking why she would bring store bought water on her quest to spend 40 days in the desert...the DESERT. Which actually seemed pretty smart to me since she wasn't trying to prove she could live off the land but to find herself.

And to say she hadn't fixed any relationships or conquered fears or learned anything? It's as if I read an entirely different book! In all seriousness, this title is going on my "to keep and re-read" shelf right next to Desert Solitaire and Sand County Almanac.

Maybe my taste in books (or stage in life?) made this such a special book but it definitely is worth a read.

[ELDEE · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was given to me when I expressed interest in reading travel and memoirs. It fit the bill on that aspect - but just barely.
The author made several mistakes on her sojourn. Why choose the middle of winter to make an elective trip to "find" yourself ? She did inadequate research on survival wear esp. concerning
boots and outer wear. Why bring cigarettes and a boring diet? It seemed she had no means with her to supplement her diet in an emergency.
i know she was depressed, but frankly wasted her time moping and staying in bed. She made me NERVOUS! In 2000 wasn't there plenty of information available to be better prepared? A compass would have been nice for exploring and her piece of mind (in case she learned how to use it!).
I hope to read more informative books in the future.

[Staroleum · Rating 4 out of 5]

A quick entertaining read. Like others, I too puzzled why the author would choose the high desert in mid November to begin her sojourn, and at some of her other impracticalities. And while I might have other quibbles about her thought processes, I admired her for sticking with this project. I would have gone home, regrouped and replanned after the first few nights. I was fascinated by the bit of what seems like automatic writing that she discovered and puzzled over, and which may have helped her come up with solutions to some of her problems. It's interesting as a psychological process and an ordeal to put oneself through to see how one emerges on the other side.

[Yaya · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's amazing what one can do to find her/his own solitude.

Debi is an uncomplicated woman actually but life made her life become so complicated that she became confused of knowing what she really wants in her life.

In her confusion of what to do in her life, she decided to go in total solitude: 40 days roughing in the desert, alone.

Debi wanting so much to listen to her inner voice that she went all the way to the desert. And she didn't bring anyhting luxurious except her journal to keep her sanity.

I find myself shivering reading her journey, can't imagine being her actually.

---------------------------

Mungkin yang Debi lakukan bukanlah pilihan semua orang untuk mencari "siapa saya?" pada diri mereka masing-masing. Ada yang naek gunung, ada yang memilih clubbing sambil mabok-mabokan (emang dengan mabok bisa ketemu jati diri yaa, ngomong-ngomong??), atau ada yang memilih beribadah saja.

Kalau saya sih ngeliatnya gini: Debi emang akhirnya menemukan apa yang hatinya inginkan lewat cara menyendiri kedinginan selama 40 hari. Tapi semuanya dibantu dengan kenangan-kenangannya, dengan ia mengenang ingata masa lalunya ia jadi belajar menghargai dirinya dan keluarganya. Kalau Yaya sih bacanya capek :-)

[Jen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I do have to admire anyone who spends 40 nites alone in the desert and then takes time to write about it. But I can't say there weren't times I wasn't annoyed with her thinking and decisions.

Lessons learned that I took to heart:

- You have the power within yourself to affect your life. Don't let your own fear stand in your way. p.205

- Everyone needs "a place where it's safe to be me". p. 209

- The world is filled with reasons you can't make your dreams come true, but most of those reasons are self-imposed. "Only I hold the responsibility for my decisions. No one else tells me what's impossible." p. 215

But why is it someone has to go to such extremes to discover or be reminded of these basic life principles? There is precious little space in mainstream society for self-reflection, self-preservation or time to commune with nature (or the self in nature). I say bring back the vision quest and walkabout! OK, at least hiking/camping regularly?

[Erica · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not quite sure what to say about this one. A woman, in the wake of a divorce and a break up with someone else, takes to the desert to try to sort out her sense of self. My first inclination is to say you really don't need to move to a desert for 40 to do that, but hey... (a realization she comes to by the end of the book) I was frustrated because it seemed she didn't entirely think through the whole endeavor. She seemed to have made appropriate preparations, but then was caught off guard by what she actually encountered. It was an okay read, I suppose. One great thing to come out of it for me was a quotation from "A Christmas Carol," just a bit of a phrase, really -- "apoplectic opulence." I suppose I am being a bit harsh in my review. I don't know. It is what it is. I guess it just hoped it would be more.

[Organicbyte · Rating 1 out of 5]

As I was reading this, I kept thinking.. this lady's crazy. And not crazy as daring and adventurous, but the therapy and should consider medication kind of crazy.

At half way through, I was hoping one of her boogeymen would come out and end the story. Since the book was short, I decided to keep reading in hopes of some insight in the end. But the second half of the book was nothing more, only a continuation of the the same overly dramatic narrative.

Near the end she says she does not want to live "where humans have replaced what once was with their own interpretation of how the world should look". But in the desert she does exactly that, by building an unnatural childhood fantasy land in what once was a wild and unspoiled location.

[Vicky · Rating 3 out of 5]

We traveled through Utah very near to the site that the adventure described in this book took place. So I had a very clear picture of the environment and the climate she experienced. I have also spent a great deal of time in remote places and I feel the book was lacking in description that would have given the reader a stronger feel for time and place. It seemed to me that the story was bogged down without explanations for so many issues. I did finish it because I had to know what happened in the end...

[Kimster · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved this book!! At a crossroads in her life she decides to spend some time alone in the wilderness, the desert, in late fall early winter. She spends a harrowing first week, and begins to discover what she is truly made of and confronts her fears to some degree. She makes it through with her sanity intact. A brave woman and an interesting read. I lived vicariously through her as I read this book.

[Angela Kidd Shinozaki · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked this up randomly when searching Utah travel guides for an upcoming trip, and boy am I glad I did. They say the right book in the right moment. This is self discovery at its finest. But don't expect grand realizations. Self awareness is in the details. Just enough action. Just enough thought provoking ideas. Just enough calm... and hope that we too can weather the storm that is mostly inside of us and find our way home.

[Sherry · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a well written memoir of a person whose journey to find herself quite frankly seems endless. I am not sure the desert of Utah is where one needs to be to learn who you are.

The phobias and fears of an individual all alone, however, do get dealt with, one way or another.

This book was not as interesting as I thought it might be. The introspection was pretty shallow. There was no real personal accountability. Debi is not someone I'd like if I knew her.

[Amber · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's a nice easy read, good for a mellow summer day.

I would have prefered to hear more about the physical struggles she went through rather the diary-like entries full of her fears and memories. Her first few nights out there kept me pretty wide-eyed.

[Deborah · Rating 2 out of 5]

thought this would be good but it was too drawn out with no real message. The author could have died during her quest and would have been for no real reason. Not a fan of this book. I only finished it because I thought surely something would happen.

[April · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow

This is a life changing and honest account of her physical, mental and emotional experiences in the desert. She may not have found God, but she found her soul.

This is well written and I wish she'd write another.

[Kim ellery · Rating 5 out of 5]

It has been years since I read this book, but it is one that I still remember...possibly since the Utah desert hold a special place in my heart.

[Mary Krumrey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well written with many insights. I loved the reflections into Debi's childhood.

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very good.