Raising the Perfectly Imperfect Child: Facing Challenges with Strength, Courage, and Hope

by Boris Vujicic, Nick Vujicic (Foreword)

Your guide to giving your child with special needs love, roots, & wings
-You may lack limbs, but don't let that define what you can or can't do.-
That's the life-changing advice Boris Vujicic spoke to his son, Nick, who was born without arms or legs. With the help of his parents, Nick has become an internationally known inspirational speaker, a best-selling author, the founder of the nonprofit organization Life Without Limbs and, most importantly, a loving and responsible husband and father himself.
But Nick's journey didn't start there. Raising the Perfectly Imperfect Child is the inspiring, powerfully transparent story of how two unprepared and overwhelmed parents--Boris and Dushka Vujicic--overcame their grief, fears, and badly shaken faith to raise such an accomplished, faith-filled, and perfectly imperfect son.
Through their stories, Boris offers practical advice and encouragement for all parents facing a -new normal- when raising a child with special needs or unique challenges. With tenderness, he addresses the spiritual, emotional, and financial challenges, and offers insights on how to equip a child for happiness and success in life.
-I highly recommend Raising the Perfectly Imperfect Child to anyone who has questions about bringing up a special-needs son or daughter.-
--Joni Eareckson Tada, founder and CEO of Joni and Friends International Disability Center
-A profoundly moving, triumphant testimony to what it means to be an extraordinary parent.-
--Robin Berman, MD, author of Permission to Parent: How to Raise Your Child with Love and Limits

Genres: Parenting, Memoir, Nonfiction

240 pages, Paperback

First published April 19, 2016

Reviews

[Christopher Lawson · Rating 5 out of 5]

RAISING THE PERFECTLY IMPERFECT CHILD is a powerful, inspiring book. It's the story of how one faithful couple wrestled with mind-boggling problems that most of us will never face. How could their son lead a fulfilling life? Should we place him for adoption? And the hardest question of all--Did God make a mistake with Nick?

This book was not written to get pity, or to get accolades. Boris Vujicic is careful to not take credit for what he and his wife did. No, it wasn't because he was just such a smart, good man. Rather, the author gives all credit to God for helping his family cope, and showing him the way. They were advised to put their disabled son up for adoption, but instead, decided to have faith that God would accomplish what others thought impossible. "We decided that our faith could sustain us. With God's help we could raise this child and help him overcome the many challenges that awaited him."

Perhaps the most heart-wrenching part of this book is the account where mom and dad find out that Nick is seriously contemplating suicide. They have a frank discussion with their son, who admitted thinking, "it would be better to just kill myself so you and Mum and Aaron and Michelle could have normal lives." Nick then describes how he considered throwing himself off the kitchen counter, but decided it wouldn't be high enough to actually kill him.

There is one surprising part of this book--do NOT miss it. It is the story of "Mr. Arnold," the high school janitor. This "observant and wise man" steps in to counsel Nick when he doesn't have many friends. Mr. Arnold convinces Nick to join the local Christian group, and talk about himself. To his surprise, Nick found that his story really grabbed the hearts of the audience. This small step led to Nick's calling as an inspirational speaker. "Nick had found his purpose in life, the path God had meant for him to follow on this earth. Suddenly everything made send to him--even his lack of limbs. He realized that God had given him a body that made a powerful statement before anyone even heard him speak."

This simple event is my favorite part of the book. Mr. Arnold, the school janitor, illustrates how one small step can have massive consequences.

The author also gives practical advice to those facing tough challenges. In "Six Strategies for a Marriage Under Stress," Mr. Vujicic shares some of the lessons he has learned. My favorite is #6, "Remember to be grateful and to laugh whenever possible to lighten the load."

Finally, the author relates the story of meeting Nick's prospective wife. Mr. Vujicic admits it was sort of an "interrogation," and they had "serious questions to ask her." Did she know what she was in for? How would she react if they had a deformed child? Well, Kanae DID understand what to expect. She "convinced her interrogators to join her side," and now the couple have two children.

All in all, I found RAISING THE PERFECTLY IMPERFECT CHILD to be an inspiring book. Yes, it's serious, but also full of uplifting truths. In the author's own words, "Our experiences in raising Nick taught us that if you put your trust in God's way, He will provide you with all the strength you need."

Well said.

Advance Reading Copy courtesy of Blogging for Books

[Oak · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have read Nick Vujicic’s book Love Without Limits (and I also saw him speak him in person!), so I was very excited to read Raising the Perfectly Imperfect Child: Facing Challenges with Strength, Courage, and Hope, written by Nick’s dad, Boris Vujicic. It was very interesting reading about Nick’s early life from his father’s perspective, and also learning about different medical and educational decision his parents made, such as why they placed him in mainstream school.

Nick has spoken about his birth and his parents’ initial reactions to his physical disability, but this book gives a very detailed account of Boris and Dushka’s perspective of their son’s birth. Raising the Perfectly Imperfect Child shows how Nick’s parents acted as advocates for their son’s wellbeing and independence. They took a situation they did not expect, and found the beauty in it.

*I received this book for review*

[Jill · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have a son with limb differences as well, and Nick Vujicic and his story have been a source of inspiration, comfort and consolation for me and my husband. I have often thought of what Nick's mother must have gone though and wondered about the amazing parents he must have. So when I heard an radio interview with Boris Vujicic and his son Nick on Father's day promoting this book, I immediately bought a copy.

This book is simply and honestly written, and I found myself marking many passages that I felt I could have written myself. He and his wife went through many of the same emotions and difficulties and challenges that we've had. I think the world of special needs, although the symptoms of the individuals vary widely, contains many universals. This book serves as a wonderful source of support for a family just learning of an adverse diagnosis or trying to navigate through the challenges of having a child with special needs; if nothing else, you read it with the feeling that someone out there knows just how you feel, and he can help a little.

Boris Vuijicic would be the first one to say that there is nothing unusual or extraordinary about him as a father, but that he and his wife were both normal parents trying to do the best with the situation they had been given. I think probably every parent of kids with special needs feel that way; our children are the ones that help raise us up out of ourselves and be better, because we have to be. In this way, the book is a source of advice and consolation without being preachy or self-righteous. I had the feeling that it was one parent to another, just trying to offer some of what he's learned for anyone who might be in the same boat.

[Sem · Rating 5 out of 5]

Toata stima pentru parinti, caci au o misiune deosebit de grea.

Nu e simplu cand asteptarile tale sunt inselate complet (nici macar partial) printr-un lucru simplu, cum ar fi acela ca copilul vrea sa aleaga o meserie, cand tu iti doresti alta meserie pentru el, si pana la ce mai complex, cum ar fi alegerea lui de a se casatori cu cineva cu care tu, ca parinte, nu vrei (fiecare parinte poate pune in loc o situatie complexa de-a sa).

Nu e usor sa accepti si sa ramai sprijin cand copilul iti spune ca este una sau alta, ca doreste una sau alta, ca stie una sau alta etc., cand tu stii (din perspectiva ta) ca orice altceva e mai bun decat ce zice el ca ar fi.

Dumnezeu va da copiii asa cum El doreste; din pacate, nu va intreaba ce ati dori sa "serviti" la "masa" vietii. Astfel, rolul parintilor este sa ii accepte asa cum sunt, ajutandu-i sa devina acei oameni cu potentialul maxim pentru care au fost creati, chiar imperfecti fiind.

Drag parinte, ce vei face daca copilul tau se naste (sau dobandeste) vreun "handicap"? Cartea asta da o lectie de viata pe care nimeni nu si-o doreste, de aia ii consider eroi pe acesti doi parinti. Nu am copii carne din carnea mea, insa ma rog lui Dumnezeu sa-mi dea putere sa am atata iubire incat sa acopere orice imperfectiune a celor din jurul meu, caci ce noi consideram slab/imperfect, El o vede doar ca o oportunitate de a transforma lumea asta printr-o astfel de persoana. El nu indeparteaza acea persoana, ci o foloseste ca sa schimbe tot mai mult lumea asta in care traim in lumea edenica pe care El a intentionat-o si pentru care ne pregateste.

Acesta este Dumnezeul minunat, si aici este marea diferenta dintre El si noi!

[Nikki in Niagara · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've followed Nick Vujicic for a long time and think he's such a wonderful speaker and person but I've never read any of his books. It's just not my type of reading, however, when I saw that his dad had written this book on the story of parenting Nick I just had to give it a read. It's a wonderful little book, part memoir, part self-help. I truly enjoyed the back story on the Vujicic's life, on raising a disabled child and of course, especially Nick since I know him as a celebrity speaker. I also found the advice to other parents encouraging and realistic myself having raised/still raising an autistic teen. The Vujicic's are Christians and their faith is at the core of who they are so the book is heavily of a Christian nature so won't be for everyone. As a Catholic, I thoroughly enjoyed the Christianity woven throughout the book until the last couple of chapters which specifically concentrated on the Vujicic's particular type of Faith which I don't share and I had to skim those chapters. Otherwise, I would have given the book 5 stars as I found it an entertaining and inspirational read.

[Raine · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love this book. Not many books out talks about the parents drive behind their child's success especially one like Nick. I don't have an imperfect child but I still love reading this book and took away lots of life experience advise from Nick's father Boris.

This is NOT a book by the experts. This is a book about the experiences that the parents who face challenges everyday to provide the best and normal life to their imperfect child.

The book is segmented according to the needs of Nick throughout this childhood. I love how its done because a reader does not have to go thru the notions from page to page to find out what they need from this book.

Each segment comes with a cliffnotes.
Those you would treasure it and keep reviewing throughout your journey with your child.

Happy Reading!

[Ian · Rating 5 out of 5]

As the father of a child with severe disabilities, I highly recommend this book. Boris's style and gentle tone make this book appropriate to give as a gift to someone with a child with special needs no matter the perceived severity of the disability.

Boris shares openly about grieving the child we expected while learning to love the child that we have been given. He shares stories of his son's struggles and remarkable resilience.

He also has practical advice about becoming your child's advocate and keeping your relationships strong.

You can read more about this book on my blog www.popchrist.com

[Gayle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I got this for free in a Goodreads Giveaway.
This book is very informative with information regarding the ups and downs of raising a disabled child such as medical problems and trying to find a school to fill the needs of a disabled child. A lot of information is given and the end of each chapter has "Takeaway Thoughts" which are highlights of that chapter that they found helped them while raising Nick and may help others with a disabled child. This is a good read even if you don't have a disabled child. It brings out the fact that we are all people who have feelings and needs and are more than the body that others see.

[Sheila · Rating 3 out of 5]

Wow. We don't know how blessed we really are. However, as in this story, what we think is going to be a tragedy can turn out to be full of blessings. Truly inspiring. I have followed him for awhile. I love to hear the parenting side of it. Many of us have children that were challenging and/or were challenged and struggled. It takes such perseverance as a parent. Great look at a wonderful story. I need to say I won this book in a goodreads giveaway, however, it is top notch.

[Barbara Harper · Rating 5 out of 5]

Imagine what your reaction would be if you gave birth to a child born without arms or legs. You would likely grieve and then wonder how in the world you would raise him to live any kind of normal life.

Boris and Dushka Vujicic experienced those reactions when their son, Nick, was born. “We were burdened not by Nick but by our doubts and our fear that we were not capable of giving him all he needed to succeed (p. 163).

Nick grew up to become an internally known evangelist and motivational speaker, telling his story in Life Without Limits. But there were many hurdles and trials before that happened.

Boris shares their experience in Raising the Perfectly Imperfect Child: Facing Challenges with Strength, Courage, and Hope. The book is part memoir, part encouragement to other parents.

After the Vujicics got over their initial shock at Nick’s condition, they found that, in many ways, he was a baby like any other. He needed love, cuddling, food, and diaper changing. The rest they had to figure out along the way. There weren’t many resources available to help.

Their faith was shaken. As Christians, they wondered why God would allow such a seemingly cruel thing to happen.

With our limited vision, Dushka and I could foresee only struggle and anguish for Nick and for us. We were so wrong, of course. Our son and our experiences with him have enriched our lives beyond measure and taught us many lessons at the heart of this book. Nick gave us a new definition of the ideal child and a deeper appreciation for the complexity of our Father’s divine vision.

Nick taught us to find new meaning in the psalm that says we are “wonderfully made.” We came to see Nick as God’s beautiful creation, lovingly formed in His image. We lacked the wisdom, initially, to understand that. We saw Nick as disabled rather than enabled. We could not grasp that his missing arms and legs were part of God’s unique plan for our son.

Chapters cover accepting and loving your child, giving yourself permission to grieve, allowing friends and family to help, advocating for your child’s medical care, meeting the needs of siblings, education, preparing your child for adulthood, keeping marriage bonds strong, and building a spiritual foundation. Boris encourages taking cues from your unique child as to what he needs and the best way to help him.

It would be easy with a child like Nick to swoop in and do everything for him. But his parents raised him to do as much for himself as possible.

My favorite aspect of his book is that Boris writes humbly and practically. Nowhere does he hint that readers should do everything just like he and his wife did. He just shares insights gleaned along the way.

Some of the quotes that stood out to me:

Nick is proof that none of us are limited by our circumstances and that all of us can create meaningful, fulfilling, and joyful lives if we choose to focus on our gifts rather than on what we may lack. All of us are imperfect. All of us are perfect (p. 10).

All children have strengths and weaknesses, and they can surprise you in so many ways. Our duty is to nurture, encourage, and motivate them, and help them build upon their strengths (p. 11).

Perhaps the greatest gifts we can give our children toward their success in adulthood are a foundation of unconditional love, a sense that they have a purpose in this world, a value system to guide them, and a spiritual base as a perpetual source of hope (p. 157).

Our imperfections have a purpose. We often can’t discover that purpose without first accepting that it exists and then searching to find it (p. 187).

God makes no promises that our lives will be pain free; He promises only that He will always be with us if we believe. We realized that we had to trust in His wisdom and good purposes, in His Word rather than in our feelings, and in His grace, which is sufficient for any trial (p. 191).

I might not be the target audience for this book since my children are grown now, and none of them had physical disabilities. But I enjoyed reading it and learned from it all the same.

[Samar Al-kandari · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very inspiring.

[Bret Jarvis · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a story. This book really touched my heart. A great read. Won courtesy of goodreads.com giveaways.

[Azi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cannot say enough about this book! Highly recommend for any parent!

[Sally Mander · Rating 5 out of 5]

Boris & Dushka Vujicic were young first time parents whose first born child was born without any arms or legs. Understandably, they were floored when they were told. What kind of life would their son have?

Boris writes of raising their son, they also went on to have 2 able bodied children later. The lessons that he teaches, are not only for raising a disabled child, but can be put to use for any child you are raising or have in your life.

It was very challenging at times, for the parents, but the boy, Nick was very outgoing and upbeat, most of the time. He felt that life was a challenge for him and he was going to succeed.

Today, Nick Vujicic is a motivational speaker and travels all over the world, sharing his love of God, the father, who makes all of us, in His image.

[Allie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked how Boris was honest with his struggles, and didn’t try to gloss over difficult things or ignore what him and his wife were feeling/dealing with. He also didn’t stay focused on his feelings, but talked about addressing them and moving on. He gave a good perspective on suffering as Christians. He brought up things like giving thanks, not worrying about the what-if’s, and taking it one step at a time.
It’s cool to see how God used something that was very hard and overwhelming at first and used it for His glory and for His name’s sake.

[Jeff · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a life-changing experience! For Nick Vujicic's parents especially. In this book, which is biography, lesson, and revelation, Boris Vujicic reveals the tortured path of realization, and ultimately appreciation, that parents of severely disabled children take...if they are willing to trust that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him. If you're willing to believe that God can use the most weak and vulnerable among us to show us His power and grace, then this is well worth the read.

[Josue Bermeo · Rating 3 out of 5]

Es una historia conmovedora, y en conjunto está bien. Pero a veces los títulos estaban muy desordenados y no tenían que ver con lo que decía el texto. Las citas no tenían los versículos bíblicos en su gran mayoría.

Teologicamente muy regular rayando en malo.

Si tienes un hijo con una discapacidad, leelo, pero con mucho discernimiento.

[Candace · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was another powerful story about Nick Vujicic's life without arms or legs. Again, I have been reminded of how God works in ways that we cannot understand or imagine. He works good, ridiculously good, where we see tragedy, confusion, and pain.

[Sarah Namegabe · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's a reading recommendation of everyone. Even if you are not raising a special child, even though you do not have a sibling/a friend living with disability... Coz we all need a paradigm shift in the way that we view and treat people living with disabilities...

[Omar El-Mohri · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book is written by the father of Nick where he talks deeply about himself and his wife starting with the birth of a child without limbs, the doubts, the fear, the depression and than passing to action and the positive side.. and how their faith helped them see things differently.

[Sharonne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good book where the father shares his experience with raising his disabled son. Recounts events with good detail, and incorporates teachings from The Bible that can spiritually lift you as a reader and had me contemplative with what he was saying.

[Lulu Hennessy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sweet and informative

It was a lovely story of a dad sharing his perspective of a challenging situation. It was honest yet hopeful. The takeaways at the end of each chapter were a nice touch.

[Cheryl · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a great read!
Eye opening experience behind nick vujicics life from the vey beginning.
So my wisdom and hope for parents with a child who has any disability

[Muhammad Anas · Rating 4 out of 5]

8/10 ⭐️ just a plainly good Christian book, written in a perspective of a father to a limbless child. Raising him from birth, to his adulthood. An experience worth sharing.

[Liss · Rating 5 out of 5]

Creo que todos los que hemos sido padres primerizos nos hemos preguntado, por qué los hijos no vienen con un instructivo? Este libro es como esa guía que todo padre quisiera y debería leer. Esta lleno de consejos para la crianza de un hijo con o sin discapacidades. Definitivamente que la fe y amor de sus padres y hermanos marcaron una diferencia en la vida del pequeño Nick.
Lo recomiendo ampliamente, estoy segura que lo disfrutarán de inicio a fin.