If Ever I Fall

by S.D. Robertson

‘Exceptionally beautiful, emotionally charged and inspirational’ MIRANDA DICKINSON

‘A wonderfully told tale of devastation, grief and ultimately hope, with a narrative that grips from the start and doesn’t let go until the final page.’ KATHRYN HUGHES

Is holding on harder than letting go?

Dan’s life has fallen apart at the seams. All he’s ever wanted is to keep his family together, but everything seems beyond repair and, try as he might, he can’t turn back time.

Maria is drowning in grief. She spends her days writing letters that will never be answered, unable to connect with the real world.

In the face of real tragedy, can this couple find a way to reconcile their past with a new future? And is love enough to carry them through?

Perfect for fans of Jojo Moyes and Amanda Prowse.

Genres: Fiction

422 pages, Paperback

First published February 9, 2017

About the author

Former journalist S.D. Robertson quit his role as a local newspaper editor to pursue a lifelong ambition of becoming a novelist.

An English graduate from the University of Manchester, he’s also worked as a holiday rep, door-to-door salesman, train cleaner, kitchen porter and mobile phone network engineer.

Stuart lives in a village in North West England with his wife and daughter. There’s also his cat, Bernard, who likes to distract him from writing – usually by breaking things.

Reviews

[Rachel Gilbey · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have no idea what I expecting before I read this book, apart from the need for some tissues...well I didn't find the book that emotional at all, but I did think it was a beautifully written story that was incredibly easy to follow and that I was absorbed in completely from the first few pages.

There are three very distinct story threads in this book, and it took a while for me to see just how they were completely connected.

We have Maria who is writing letters to Sam, mainly streams of conscious as to what is happening in her families life, and takes place in the now, and time moves forward each time we get to a new letter. Maria is also amongst other things in the grip of OCD and it gave me a new way to think about how OCD sufferers behave and just how compulsive the behaviour really is.

Then there is Dan, each time we meet him, time is going backwards leading up to a very specific event that happened a couple of years ago. Maria and Dan are married, and both coping with the same thing in very different ways.

Also we have a man, who is suffering from amnesia, and only knows what the retired Dr. Miles who he is staying with tells him. He does get flashes of memory, but on the whole it shows just how scary full blown amnesia can be when you don't know yourself, why you are where you are, and just have to trust what a complete stranger is telling you.

This is a very well written story by a clearly talented storyteller, I read the book pretty much in one go in a five hour sitting, with very few real life distractions. It was a perfect way to spend a Sunday afternoon on te sofa, wrapped up in other people's lives.

I just found myself absorbed in just how Maria and Dan were coping in the aftermath of a tragedy, and how they are trying to get on with the rest of their lives. Daughter Ruby is portrayed realistically for her age, and there was a scene where her childhood beliefs are shattered that really affected me, a lot more than the high emotion feel of the rest of the book.

If Ever I Fall is a book that I'm very glad that I have had the pleasure of reading, and I think it may be a book that will stay with me for a while.

Thank you Avon for supplying me with this copy of the book which I have reviewed honestly and voluntarily.

[Susan Hampson · Rating 4 out of 5]

There was something very wrong, the man just knew, where was he? Nothing was familiar to him, in fact he wasn’t even familiar with anything about himself. It was like this is day one and nothing had gone before it. He only existed from the moment his eyes opened. He knew what things were but nothing about his past apart from the headache, he knew about that. With the eerie appearance of Dr. Miles the tale became even more strange. There were rules, no clocks or computers, no T.V’s or newspapers, just sort of living in the moment. Eat when your hungry sleep when your tired. Simply leave the rat race behind……But the man with no memory needed to know, one way or another he had to find out about his past and who he was.
This is a very unusual story that becomes easier to follow the further you read into it, Told by three people. Jack the man with no memory, that lives in the moment , Dan whose story travels back in time to a tragic event a year before and his OCD wife Maria that spills her feelings into letters as time moves forward for her from the tragic event to present day.  It feels a little bit like developing  a film the more you become immersed, the clearer the picture becomes. It is beautifully written and does become intriguing as to how it is all going to fix together.  I soon became aware of the outcome, so it was at matter of finding out how and why, as well as feeding my growing curiosity about Jack.
We are all individuals that deal with personal tragedy in very different ways and S. D. Robertson captures this beautifully, even if he uses extremes to show it. I really liked Ruby that at times was a little lost soul having to deal with mum and dad’s inability to cope. Her frustration was so evident, bless her. This book has those difficult to blink moments because if you do you will release that tear.
I wish to thank Netgalley and Avon an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers for this novel that I have chosen to review.

[Denise · Rating 4 out of 5]

If I Ever Fall is a compelling novel, it's not a heavy read but intelligent and insightful and a real page turner.
This is a wonderfully constructed novel with an element of mystery to the storyline which was quite sad in places but I did find it to be very enjoyable and I read it quickly as I was desperate to know what happened.

I love the way the author draws you in to his believable characters and their lives. S.D. Robertson has written a superb book and I think it's one of those books that will stay with you long after turning the final page. Brilliant.

[MetLineReader · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was enjoying this book and found it interesting engaging and intriguing... BUT as the threads started to come together I found it just didn't work for me.

The ending was too contrived with too many loose ends... very disappointed as until about 80- 85% it was looking like a 4* book.

Others have loved it, but it just didn't float my boat.

[Laurel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was given an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest and independent review.
I really liked the style in which this was written - part normal narrative and part told through letters written. It therefore took a while to get to know the individual stories and how it all linked but the "journey" there was interesting.
Without being sexist I have to say that I was surprised that the author is a man. His ability to deal with a lot of the sensitive subject matter with so much empathy and emotion, was noteworthy and for me was the strength of the book.
Not giving any spoilers away, all I can say is that this is a great read with a well developed plot and very strong characters and I would recommend it highly.
4.5 ****

[Nessa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I listened to this on audiobook.

So having loved the author's debut book of Time to say Goodbye, I thought it was time to try another book by him and I chose this one as it was available as an audiobook with my local library.

Unfortunately I struggled with one one, I felt lost throughout, the story kept flicking from past to present with no real clear link between certain storylines, trying to figure out what was going on and trying to piece it all together. But even come the end, I was still not to sure as to what had actaully happened/going on with the characters of Dan/Jack, I just found it confusing.

I think this was a case where the book was just not my cup of tea, as it's quite clear from other reviews that plenty of other readers did enjoy this book. It just goes to show that some books really aren't for everyone.

Despite the above, I won't be giving up on the author completely as I'm still game to try another one of his books in the future.

[Amina Kara · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a really well written book, relating the heartbreaking story of how a family struggled to cope after a tragedy stuck and turned their world upside down.

I don't personally know anyone with OCD, so it was interesting reading about Maria and her struggles with it, on top of dealing with her grief, guilt and loss.

Jack's character was interesting. His chapters definitely had me scratching my head at times and going 'what?!', but like with Maria, it was interesting getting an insight into how scary and terrifying amnesia can be. Reading his chapters really made me feel his fear at times.

And lastly Dan. I felt so bad for him because despite his own grief he tried so hard to be strong and be there for his family. He really tried to help Maria, but at every turn she seemed to push him away.

I would have finished reading this in one go, but other distractions stopped me. Although saying that I did manage to finish it in two days!

[Bharti · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dan and Maria through their emotional struggles with marriage and grief show us how life tests us and how we do or don't fight back. Grappling with grief, a marriage having run its course and the mind dealing with it all, if ever i fall is emotional but not in the sentimental, crying manner. The issues presented are not easy to come to terms with but present beneath every relationships surface. Once you start reading don't think and let the story unfold sentence by sentence only then you will realise it's depth and resilience.

[Vicki_cosy.books · Rating 5 out of 5]

If Ever I Fall is boldly recommended for fans of Jojo Moyes -an author I really enjoy. And it was that claim which first drew me to the book. Well ok, the cover too, because yeah. I'm a sucker for a pretty cover. Anyway, after investigating further I was convinced, this did indeed sound like a book that would be right up my street.

I picked it up to read last Saturday morning. Typically, I had woken up early on my day off (why does that always happen?) and even though I had a list as long as my arm of things to do, it was early enough to have a relaxing morning and squeeze in a bit of reading first. BIG mistake. I ended up glued and pretty much lost my entire morning, and some of the afternoon. But it was worth it.

If Ever I Fall is a story told from three perspectives. Dan is struggling with the break up of his family, living alone in a flat he hates and missing his wife and daughter. Maria, Dan's wife, writes letters to someone who she know's will never answer, in an attempt to make sense of events which have devastated her family's life. Then there's Jack. He doesn't know who he is....he's suffering from amnesia. One thing's for sure though...something is certainly not right about his surroundings. How can he find out the truth when he can't even remember who he is?

Wow! When I thought this was a book that would be right up my street I was right. I quickly became engrossed in all three character's lives and felt I was taken on an emotional rollercoaster alongside them. I loved the way that Dan and Maria's story unfolded throughout the book, so that as a reader, when realisation about their situation slowly dawned and pieces of the jigsaw were put together in my mind, I could really understand and empathise with them. I especially loved the addition of Jack....I had absolutely no idea how he related to the story at first and was intrigued by his situation. When I did realise, I was blown away. It's not something I've come across in this way before and gives the whole book an interesting and unique twist.

If Ever I Fall is an emotional read which had me wiping away tears and holding my breath. It's a tale of grief, loss and despair-but there's also hope and the underlying sense that strength comes from those we love, if only we can realise this and reach out. I finished this book feeling that I'd been on a real journey with the characters and thought about it for hours after. It is a beautifully written, engrossing and unique story, and I loved it.

[Agi]

I tried. Oh my God, how much I tried.
Not a book for me. DNF.

[Nicki Southwell · Rating 4 out of 5]

There are psychological twists, and there are twists. This book had me completely fooled until the end. Brilliantly written and told in an unusual and exciting way.

Dan and Maria lived in a small town and enjoy all the benefits of living close to the countryside. They have two daughters, Sam and Ruby. Or rather they HAD.

The story shifts between the now, a year before and what happens after the event. It is not clear until close to the end exactly what did happen.

Understandably they are struggling to cope with this tragedy and Dan has ready moved out of their family home and is living in a depressing flat. They are each trying to come to terms with events and have their own struggles. Maria has always had some issues with her OCD. The symptoms begin to take over her life after the tragedy but with the help of a counsellor, she begins to come to terms with everything. Their younger daughter Ruby is also struggling but it appears that her parent's separation is her biggest struggle.

It is difficult to reveal more without spoilers.

A great deal of the book is about the ending. It was a bit confusing to start with but made sense at the end.

Maria and Dan are good people and both very likeable. It is not possible to ignore their plight and sympathise with a dreadful situation.

The pace was brisk in parts, but suitably slower in others.

I have read many books of this genre, but this is something different and I highly recommend it.

I chose to read this book and all opinions in this review are all my own and completely unbiased. My thanks to Netgalley for giving me this opportunity.

[Lisbeth Davies · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm about 85% in, having a quick break to find my recipe for Goan marsala curry, very resentful that I have to stop and cook supper instead of reading. Maybe I can stir and read. Don't care if it burns. Anyway.

~ A five star corker of a novel ~

I've never read a book like this before - it's like walking on quicksand. From the start you're not absolutely sure of what exactly is happening other than that it involves ordinary people going through extraordinary grief - all the signs and symbols (Eindhoven, luggage, location of the house) start making sense, you think, and then-- well, I've not finished yet but already I know that I'll be thinking about this book for some time.

Update: continued to be a great read to the very satisfactory conclusion, will definitely look for more novels by SD Robertson in the future.

[Many thanks to the author and publisher for an advance review copy.]

[Tina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received a copy of this book via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. I didn't know much about this story before I started to read it. It is better to go into this story blind. The story is somewhat a mystery. We meet jack who has amnesia after an accident who is being looked after by a retired doctor called Miles. We also meet Maria through letters that she is writing to Sam. Very slowly the mystery of what is really going on unfolds through Jack and Maria. I knew from the blurb that it was going to be sad, and it was, but overall it was a lovely story.

[Claire Wilson · Rating 3 out of 5]

If I ever fall by SD Robertson is an emotional read which if you're like me then you'll need a good pack of tissues to accompany this story. The book is easy to read but is a sad one surrounding bereavement and grief. It was enjoyable though

[Shirley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely brilliant such an unputdownable read!!

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Beautifully written in places, but I find it difficult to get into with so many threads. A little disjointed in places.

[Katherine Sunderland · Rating 3 out of 5]

The prologue of this novel opens with the most unsettling words to ever come out of anyone's mouth:

"I don't know who I am."

Not only that, this anonymous character has no idea where they are, what has happened to them and why they are struggling to come to in a strange room with a strange person. Then, before we have the chance to work out who this person is and what they might be doing there, we start Chapter one which is set in 2017 and takes the form of a letter.

What intrigued me about this book was that for a while I thought I was reading a thriller. All the ingredients for a mystery are there - a person who appears to be trapped somewhere suffering from 'retrograde amnesia', another character writing a letter in which they are surrounded by odd coincidences yet obviously hiding a secret and a third story line following another character who is suffering from depression and also has a backstory to reveal.

Of course you'll know from the blurb, it isn't a thriller, there isn't a crime to solve but the reader does have to concentrate as we alternate between the three different narratives and timelines and try to work out how these three seemingly separate story lines all in fact fit together. There may not be a crime to solve but there definitely is a little bit of a mystery and there definitely is a sense of threat for each protagonist. There are also a few twists, a few shocks and a few moments of revelation. Each character has a demon to confront and their safety (emotional or physical) to fight for.

I liked the three different narratives. Each is very different - first person, third person and the form of a letter. The letters from Maria to Sam help reveal a lot of information and fill in some of the gaps as the reader begins to piece together the main events and the relationships between the characters. Maria answers a lot of our questions for us which even if occasionally a little contrived, is actually helpful as the other two sections remain more allusive and ambiguous. The letter form encourages Maria to be more honest as it is often more confessional in style and so this helps the reader build a relationship with her and empathise with her struggle.

Dan's storyline reads very easily. It is an authentic voice of a journalist who is coming to terms with the breakdown of his marriage and his faltering relationship with his daughter. There are lots of hints about what might have happened to the family which I liked.

"They'd been so good together. Under normal circumstances, he was sure they'd still be happily married. But what they'd been through was enough to tear apart even the strongest of unions."

Both Dan and Maria's sections explore different responses to grief, different responses to parenting and different responses to making a marriage survive after a tragedy. Neither is right, neither is wrong, neither is more likeable or more pitiable. They offer different insights and ultimately compound the sense of sadness, hopelessness and despair of the novel.

I liked the sections about "John" the most. They are very cleverly written and Robertson recreates the sense of confusion, frustration and fear really effectively as "John" struggles to remember who he is and what has happened to him. The presentation of a sluggish mind that drifts between reality, dreams and flashbacks is really well written and I liked the tension and suspense that these passages created. The mysterious appearance of the girl in red is intriguing and the repetition of words like "it's not safe here," "you have to open your eyes," and "John's" sense of anxiety create a great atmosphere of unease.

The marketing campaign for this book has involved tissues and the warning that this is a bit of a tear jerker. I didn't need any tissues but I did feel a sense of sadness and I did feel sympathy for Maria and Dan. The novel tackles a difficult subject and does it with sensitivity. There is a promise of hope at the end of the story which I welcomed and felt it was a fitting finale to the protagonists' journeys.

[Linda Hill · Rating 4 out of 5]

With Dan and Maria’s lives in free fall and the mysterious Miles looking after amnesiac Jack, the world is not all it seems.

If Ever I Fall was completely different to my expectations. I imagined I was about to read a cosy and emotional women’s fiction narrative that I would thoroughly enjoy. I certainly enjoyed If Ever I Fall and I did find it emotional, but this three stranded story exceeded my expectations, with an almost psychological thriller or mystery element too.

It’s quite hard to say too much about the plot without spoiling the story for other readers, but S.D. Robertson’s skill in weaving the plot strands is masterful. At times there’s a disjointed nature to one of the plot devises that makes it a little confusing. This is not a negative. The flashback, dreamlike, elements serve to provide the same experience for the reader as for the character. I thought this was so well done.

With such a complex plot, it surprised me just how well developed the characters are. My heart went out to them all with the exception of one – but again I don’t really want to say who as I don’t want to spoil the read! Maria’s epistolary sections that explore her fragile state of mind are so moving. S.D. Robertson shows how O.C.D can affect lives to breaking point and the themes of If Ever I Fall are intense and affecting for the reader. Grief, relationships, memory and identity all underpin both character and plot so that there really is something for every reader in this book.

I also really appreciated the title. If Ever I Fall can relate to literal actions in the story but equally to metaphorical ones as characters fall from grace, fall apart in their relationships, fall into depression and mental ill-health and so on. I think the significance of the title only becomes clear after the book is read completely.

If Ever I Fall did not live up to my expectations. It exceeded them and I will be thinking about it for a long time.
https://lindasbookbag.com/2017/02/10/...

[Daphne Sharpe · Rating 4 out of 5]

This novel deals with the experience of grief and how a family and their marriage implode. Dan and Maria have lost their eldest daughter. Maria , who has OCD sees a therapist and writes letters to her dead child. Dan, her husband cannot cope with her grief and his job whilst being supportive of their other child, who is also suffering. The marriage breaks up and whilst Dan attempts suicide one day, he suffers a head trauma which leads him to suffer a loss of consciousness and amnesia. He suffers from hallucinations of his daughter and experiences the strong impulse to join her, but as he recovers from his trauma, his daughter convinces him that he has to return to his family.
This story is told in both the past and present and is quite confusing at times. Like the head injury, the story gradually becomes clearer as Dan improves health wise.
My only criticism is about the letters written by Maria. I know their purpose is to explain what is happening in the storyline, but they do appear to be overly self indulgent, dull and not really interesting . I didn't find them to be a successful device.
I liked this book very much and found the story to be written very sympathetically. It gives an accurate account of what happens to the brain function after a traumatic incident and luckily in this case, a successful outcome was achieved. Thanks to NetGalley for my advance copy and this is a honest review.

[Lorna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow, just wow what a roller coaster ride of emotion! S.D Robertson weaves a truly magical tale, spinning an intricate web that is both beautiful and complex.

Imagine waking up, not knowing your name, where you are or how you got there? Add to that being in a strange house with a man calling himself a doctor and a mysterious girl in a red coat who looks familiar but who nobody else seems to see.

Anyone would be confused and scared, right?

Jack has woken up in just such a situation. He has absolutely no memory of who he his and even when he is told his name it doesn't seem familiar to him. Can the man calling himself Miles really be trusted when he seems to be the only connection to his memories?

Who is the girl in red and how does nobody else see her? Why does she seem so familiar?

Yes, there are a lot of questions posed by the reader as you unravel this stunner of a novel, but eventually, as the events leading up to Jack's current situation come to light it all comes together in the most fascinating way. The only query I ask myself is why did I not read this novel sooner?!

4.5 stars.

[Saarah Niña · Rating 3 out of 5]

I gave this book the better part of my weekend and even when it felt draining, I thought for sure it would pick itself up. Something would happen, there would be the full story and it would all come together.

The chapters in this book were disjointed: it reads as if there are three different stories going on at the same time. By the end, two of these storylines join. But it makes little sense and I wasn’t able to appreciate how long it was in coming.

This was a devastating story of a family breaking, I couldn’t sympathise with the character of Maria, who in her grief, rages against her husband. As I’m left more than a little confused by the ending, I can’t say I liked this book. There were also repeated passages and I couldn’t understand their significance so as to be repeated...

I very much need to read someone else’s review, so as to make sense of this book.

I received this book through Netgalley for review consideration.

[NotAnotherEmptySkull · Rating 5 out of 5]

☆4.8 Stars☆

NOTES & THOUGHTS
• Emotional at times.
• Well written.
• Beautiful storyline.
• Mysterious.
• Easy to read and connect with.
• A Page-turner.
• I loved the idea of the book - although I had worked out the story towards the start of the book.
• Such a good read - it was so much better than I expected.

I LOVED
• The writing style - not just the multi-character point of view, but the way it was written. The book went between the point of view of 2 characters, and the third character's storyline was portrayed through letters.
• That the book had a well developed, in depth storyline.
• That this book was easy to read.
• The themes and ideas of the book.
• That the book and the storyline was realistic.

I DIDN'T LOVE
• That I couldn't connect with the storyline as much as I wish I did. However there is no reason why I didn't.

[JR_❤️_books · Rating 5 out of 5]

This novel doesn't give anything away. Not right away at least.
It keeps you on edge. Keeps you asking questions that won't be answered almost until the very end.
Basically, it keeps you turning the pages, looking for those answers. And this is brilliant. It's what keeps readers, well, reading.

The plot unfolds carefully, as I just hinted.
Bits and bobs are given almost casually by the author until we get to a point (quite early in the book) where we start figuring out – mind you, figuring out, not guessing!! - where it all may lead.
Yet, we still can't see the final picture.

We have this guy, whose name can be either Jack or John or Rick, who does not remember who he is. That's clear since page 1. He says: I don't know who I am. Neither do we Jack (or John or Rick). And we want to know.
We then have Maria, who is possibly one of the most irritating, unnerving, nutty ex-wives a bloke could happen to marry. She's writing letters to this Sam, we get they're very close by her revealing Sam intimate secrets on her wrecked marriage, on a terrible loss she faced recently and on a DILF type of guy she met during the school run (if you saw American Pie the acronym needs no further explanation). Maria suffers from OCD, a condition that worsened after the recent traumatic events happened in her life, and is fighting very hard to have both peace and her own self back, all the while doing her best to give her little daughter Ruby a decent home environment to live despite the rancorous split from her husband Dan.
Last, but not least, we have Dan. This part is the only written in third person, which gives us a chance to detach enough from the story to try and have an objective view of what's going on.
Just like his wife Maria, Dan is devastated by what they went through before the separation. He did his best to cope and to support his family, especially his beloved wife, but eventually he could take no more. So when the last straw at work happens, he puts on his coat, gets in the car and drives away. And the hell with them all. Who wouldn't LOVE to do that most days than not??

At some point, thanks to the bits and bobs I mentioned earlier, all their stories come together and we are finally given the chance to understand what happened and who's who – so, basically, we can almost relax and stop with the crazy hyperventilating and the “WTH??”.

The most interesting – and probably peculiar – aspect of this novel is that Maria's and Dan's timelines go opposite ways. Maria's set in the present and at some point (for us reading it today, at least) goes in the future; Dan's goes backwards. Yes, you read it right. We go back in time with each chapter, and although this may sound weird, it adds up to the mystery of his past and keeps the reader constantly focused. So my recommendation here is: pay attention to the date on top of each chapter related to these two characters. And once you'll finish the book, my recommendation number 2 is: go back to the beginning and re-read the first few chapters (if not the whole book).

If Ever I Fall is easy to read, thanks to Robertson's fluid writing style we appreciated already with his previous novel, Time to Say Goodbye, but it's not an easy reading. Rather the contrary. As I said, for a start I had to pay attention to the dates at the beginning of the chapters and reconstruct in my mind the “story so far” once I got to the end of each one.
When I eventually finished the book, the wrap up I went through inside my mind kept me busy for a good quarter of an hour, all the little clues and details scattered along the story finally gathering to show the puzzle.
That's when I decided this book deserved a 5 star rating.

On closure I'd like to address all those “oh, I gave the book 20 pages before I decided to put it away” misters and misses – who, inevitably, left crude / destructive reviews.
We live in a busy, fast-pacing world. I understand that. But if you want a quick, no-brainer reading then I suggest you try with stories of frustrated University students being tied to the oven handle – possibly when the oven is on, to make it hotter.
There are a lot of work, sweat, pain, early mornings and very late nights behind every good book. The least you can do, if you don't like it, is to put it away and forget all about it. Or leave your impressions online, sure, but in a civilised review. There's no need to be rude. I imagine none of us was brought up in a cave, here?

[Lynn · Rating 2 out of 5]

To be honest most of this book was quite good. I actually enjoyed the three part story telling style. What did not work for me was the ending. The author had an amazing opportunity to mesh the stories well, to close the gaps and explain the fuzzy edges. Instead the book just ended. One entire story line, the one riddled with mystery and intrigue, was left hanging. I honestly do not know what happened, why he was there, was Myles really helping or not, who was the lady in red, who was on the phone, so so many questions and all left unanswered. I like my stories to be tied up at the end, it doesnt even have to be a neat knot. It can be messy and frayed but somewhere in there I need a knot to tie it all together. I did not get it here.

[Zoe · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a very strange book.
The chapter's were very 'all over the place' and despite only finishing it less than a minute ago, I can't really begin to explain what it was actually about plot-wise? Essentially at the heart of the story are three individuals, Dan and Maria - parents to Ruby. Their other daughter Sam had died. Both experiencing their own versions of extreme grief. Dan's is a little harder to get my head around.
I've not much to really say about this book. Did I like it? Well.. I'm not sure. I didn't hate it. But I didn't get it. Not a very useful review. I just didn't know what to make of it.

[Louise Bookmac82 Mackin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow!!!!!!!! What a book. Having just finished this I'm still shocked that I didn't see the end coming.

I'd been gripped from the start as it was such a weird, intriguing book and pretty much everything I thought I'd guessed, turned out to be wrong. It's seemingly very disjointed and jumps from past to present a lot but it comes together in the end.

I loved S D Robertson debut book, Time to say goodbye, so I was excited to read this book too. It certainly did not disappoint, I can't wait to read any future releases from this author. If you only read one book this year make it this one.

[Kerri Elizabeth · Rating 3 out of 5]

After previously reading “Time To Say Goodbye” , also from this author I was excited to read this book.
Although the book was enjoyable, for me it didn’t quite live up to the expectation I had for it.

The story is told in 3 parts based on the 3 main characters, Maria, Dan & Jack, each dealing with their own grief/heartbreak.
Maria grieves for her family’s destruction, Dan is struggling with the breakup and loss of his wife and daughter and Jack is suffering with memory loss making him totally unaware of who he is or what is right or wrong.

I did enjoy the story, but it just wasn’t as I expected it to be, maybe because I tried to compare it too much to “Time To Say Goodbye”

[Grace Ann · Rating 4 out of 5]

The mixture of the characters in different chapters didn't even throw me off. If anything it made me want to read it more to find out what was happening with: Dan, Maria and a man who is experiencing amnesia. Loved the way it flowed and how the stories all came to a close. Would recommend but if you do not like stories where each chapter is based on another character then this book is not for you.

[Rachael · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lovely story demonstrating the effects that a tragedy can have on a family. Although a little confusing at first, you soon become engaged and fascinated by the plot and characters. I enjoyed the fact that information if given in little bits, you are kept wondering throughout. I especially enjoyed the use of letters to convey a charters thoughts. An extremely enjoyable read.

[arcticbooklover · Rating 3 out of 5]

There was so much going on in this book,I sometimes had a hard time keeping my attention to what I was reading and I used quite some time reading this book.
That said,there was enough elements to keep me curious to keep on reading.
There were scenes that touched me deeply.
The grief - how it got handled.
But the end came to fast, I think the author could have written this part a little better.
The conclution came to quickly - but it did give me some answers though