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19 pages, Audible Audio
First published August 15, 2011









DNF @ Chapter 10
I skimmed, I skipped, I jumped. Imagine my surprise when after the skims-skips-jumps, I saw "Chapter 10". What? That's it? Ho boy!
I freaking lost it.
Awesome, it wasn't.
Really, it was really not cool. Freaking un-awesome/un-cool/un-whatever.
Chapter 10 of 32?
And then, I said, "Bibi, you must not do a DNF"
And I said, "Bibi, what will people think? And what about Finnie's clothes? The ice-blue gown with the bell sleeves? Then, the cloak- picked for its warmness(?)- and all the platinum threads and silver this and dark wood that? Huh? Surely, you can take more?
Eek. Whelps. Ho boy. Oh God. Squeeeee (Okay, that last one is all me). The point being, I need to take a step away from this book lest I gouge out my eyes.
Finnie, at 30, had the speech pattern of a 12-year-old. Frey, the H, was sterile, devoid of any gravitas (beyond his hunk-ness status). Don't misunderstand, the story and plot were exciting and different. Finnie pays a million dollars to magically teleport from present day to medieval times, hoping to connect with her long-deceased parents. This medieval world ran parallel to hers, more than this, there lived another version of her in said world.
Teleport, switch places, stay for a year, afterwards, beam-me-up-Scottie, back to the present she goes. Except, in the other world, circumstances are not as expected. Sounds freaking cool, right? Yes, one would think so.
Until it wasn't.
The author's use of the basest most simplistic vocabulary turned a really interesting plot into a prosaic, sophomoric story. Meanwhile, I understand this book is 500+(dear lawd) pages long... I imagine half of that can be done away with had the editors done their job. To fill a book with colloquial and idiomatic phrases etc is vexing to this reader.
Could this be the reason KA is such a prolific writer? Pick 20 words, switch them up, repeat at close intervals, then BAM, 100,000 words done and published? Huh? There it goes......my last nerve.
One last thing, here's a quick survey of the most repeated words and phrases.
1. Then: got over 1,000 results
2. Cool: >80
3. Really: >90
4. There was: >110
5. Freaking: >70
6. And then: >130
7. And I: used over 1,000 times
Am I being a bore? Perhaps even nitpicking? Sigh
“It’s good you’re hot, Frey Drakkar, and good in bed and command elves and dragons or you’d seriously be in trouble.”
He kept smiling but his brows drew together. “Hot?”
I nodded. “Hot. Handsome, good-looking, pleasing to the eye,” I leaned into him, “Hot.”
He tipped his chin back and laughed then, still laughing, rolled me to my back, his arms around my belly tucking my side into his front, he looked down at me and quit laughing.
“And it is good you are beautiful, Finnie Drakkar, or you would have a very pink arse for risking such a venture.”
"As we raced through the forest, I was seeing I needed way more practice on Caspia as Frey and his men snaked at a full gallop through the trees, sometimes coming so close I could feel the win as we whizzed by them and all the boys, as far as I could tell, did this without hesitation using nothing but instinct.
It was super cool.
...
"Only I can penetrate it... and you as you're with me."
Wow. Cool.
...
Once they formed, they immediately turned, touched a glittering branch and grew to the size of a normal human right... in front of... my eyes.
Unbelievably cool.
...
"And we do hope you are present when there are future joyful messages we will share with out lord Frey."
Joyful messages.
Cool..
...
Apparently whatever the news was, it was joyful.
Awesome.
...
When the last disappeared, I stared at the glowing tree and whispered, "That is so cool."







- all the times Finnie said the word cool which effectively made the word itself uncool;
- the tone of the book sounding kinda homophobic, sexist or misogynistic (not that this one was anything new, but normally I liked how KA adressed and handled it), and creepy (the disgusting kind) especially at the beginning;
- me NEVER having THE moment I was DYYYING to see which SHOULD HAVE been when Finnie confronted her husband Frey and going all ape shit on him for making life altering decisions behind her back;
- this book being so long with too much detail that didn’t matter to the plot.














╰⊰✿ The Premise ✿⊱╮
╰⊰✿ The Characters ✿⊱╮

╰⊰✿ The Story ✿⊱╮


“There are reasons we walk this earth, I’m coming to realize mine.”
“You’re beautiful, Finnie, but by the gods you have never been more beautiful than you are right now, spread before me, wrapped in my wool and filled with me”



“She waits for me at windows and buys me dragons. There are reasons we walk this earth, I’m coming to realize mine.”



“Love is everything.”
“I love you, Frey. I’m in love with you. So in love, I’ll never stop loving you. Not ever. You, everything about you is beyond my wildest dreams.”
“Today, you witness something infinitely sad. Three people who have gone wrong somewhere in their lives, done wrong be-cause of it and therefore are paying the ulti-mate price. Do not stand there shouting and jeering, demonstrating that they were right to move against this great nation, those for-tunate enough to inhabit her ice-bound earth and those privileged to wear her crowns.Stand there and, as the Lunwynians I know you to be, stand strong, stand proud and stand filled with mercy.”
“You are, my wee Finnie, beyond my wildest dreams.”
“I’m coming to you, baby”
“No, my love, I’ve come to you”



