I found this an interesting book, perhaps one that would be best suited as a suite of related essays. The discussion is not, despite the title, about the "East-West Culture Gap" per se. It is really more about the distinction between the highly individualistic sense of self that typifies the West — in her case, mostly the United States — which she calls the "big pit" self, as in an avocado with a large, well-developed core; and the interdependent sense of self typical of East Asian society, particularly although not exclusively China. As an ABC, an American-born Chinese daughter of immigrants, this is an obvious focal area for exploration, and individual discussions and chapters really stand out, especially a discussion on how East Asian and Western students recall and focus on different aspects of their own personal narratives. Western students focus on individual details and a self-focused narrative; East Asians focus on interdependent, relationship-driven long-term trends and patterns. A further fascinating piece is on how artists and scholars in the West focus on individual works of genius; this is contrasted with the Asian art traditions in which skilled mastery of existing forms and works is emphasized, and individual recognition is either frowned upon, or seen as largely irrelevant.
There are a host of similarly interesting and well-fleshed-out vignettes, many of them focused on the educational system and highly-motivated students from Asian and North American society. As a university professor it's unsurprising that she is focused on these subjects, but it makes me wonder if she could have looked at struggling, low-income youth in China and America as well, to see if their cultural gaps are similar.
(By the way, as she acknowledges, the psyches of kids from prosperous Western nations are by no means 'typical' psychologies; they are WEIRD — "Western, educated, industralized, rich, and developed," so the extension of Western psychology to students from Asia and Africa and Latin America was intrinsically flawed.)
As to the girl at the baggage claim? She is a red herring, or whatever the equivalent of red herring is in Mandarin. She is a prop, a stand-in — a real person, as it turns out, but more of a hook on which Jen hangs a whole host of perhaps-unrelated thesis statements.
The author's name, by the way, is a bit hilarious once I figured it out. Her Chinese name is Ren Bilian; her English name is Lillian Jen. The pen name, "Gish," is frequently confused as something "Asian" and thus she was frequently called "Geesh" by well-meaning Anglos. But it doesn't take a genius to figure out that she was called "Lillian Gish" as a girl, after the actress, and took "Gish" as her pen name accordingly.