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Breast Cancer Husband: How to Help Your Wife (and Yourself) during Diagnosis, Treatment and Beyond
A unique guide, like none other on the market-packed with medical information, practical tips, psychological insight, and coping strategies-to help men help the women they love through this trying time.
When Marc Silver became a breast cancer husband three years ago, he learned firsthand how frightened and helpless the breast cancer husband feels. He searched in vain for a book that would give him the information and advice he so desperately sought. Now this award-winning journalist has compiled just the kind of emotionally supportive and useful resource that he wished he had been able to consult-to give men the tools they need to help their wives, their families, and themselves through this scary, uncertain time.
In his years as a consumer journalist and veteran of the News You Can Use staff at U.S. News & World Report , Marc Silver learned what kind of information and advice on medical crises readers found most valuable. He draws on that experience as he covers in depth all the issues couples coping with breast cancer will have to face during diagnosis, treatment, and beyond. Highlights include:
- The shared experiences of other breast cancer husbands
- Guidance from top cancer doctors in the country
- Advice on when, how, and what to tell your young children
- Tips on coping with radiation and chemotherapy
- A candid discussion of sex and intimacy following breast cancer surgery
More than 200,000 women are diagnosed with cancer each year in the United States. At last, with this book, the men who love them have a road map to help them through a difficult and unprecedented journey.
When Marc Silver became a breast cancer husband three years ago, he learned firsthand how frightened and helpless the breast cancer husband feels. He searched in vain for a book that would give him the information and advice he so desperately sought. Now this award-winning journalist has compiled just the kind of emotionally supportive and useful resource that he wished he had been able to consult-to give men the tools they need to help their wives, their families, and themselves through this scary, uncertain time.
In his years as a consumer journalist and veteran of the News You Can Use staff at U.S. News & World Report , Marc Silver learned what kind of information and advice on medical crises readers found most valuable. He draws on that experience as he covers in depth all the issues couples coping with breast cancer will have to face during diagnosis, treatment, and beyond. Highlights include:
- The shared experiences of other breast cancer husbands
- Guidance from top cancer doctors in the country
- Advice on when, how, and what to tell your young children
- Tips on coping with radiation and chemotherapy
- A candid discussion of sex and intimacy following breast cancer surgery
More than 200,000 women are diagnosed with cancer each year in the United States. At last, with this book, the men who love them have a road map to help them through a difficult and unprecedented journey.
336 pages, Paperback
First published September 29, 2004
42 people are currently reading
42 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
September 10, 2023
I got this for my husband who seemed to think that by ignoring my diagnosis, the cancer would just magically go away. His attitude angered me, and I knew I had to take charge.
Just a few minutes after he started reading this, he came to to to apologize for his lack of compassion, his not taking my feelings into consideration. I was dumbstruck.
He had lost his mother while he was in his tweens to breast cancer, so his behavior was not a huge surprise to me.
Another upside to this book was all that I learned from it. This is definitely a book not only for the breast cancer husband, but also for the patient.
Just a few minutes after he started reading this, he came to to to apologize for his lack of compassion, his not taking my feelings into consideration. I was dumbstruck.
He had lost his mother while he was in his tweens to breast cancer, so his behavior was not a huge surprise to me.
Another upside to this book was all that I learned from it. This is definitely a book not only for the breast cancer husband, but also for the patient.
January 18, 2012
I think this is a fabulous book and that every Breast Cancer Husband should buy this book and read it as soon as his wife/girlfriend is diagnosed. It provides a comprehensive look at what you can expect on the breast cancer journey. I will be recommending this book to the support group that I facilitate for Family & Friends of Cancer Patients!
July 20, 2019
A book that you hope you'll never need but be very greatful for if you do. The author has been there and understands that real life is hard....make a grown man cry kind of hard. It is annoying when Silver recites the entire name, professional title and organization name over and over for every appearance of his expert references, but, oh well, the price of an interview I guess. You will learn more than you ever wanted to know about breast cancer, not everything mind you, but stuff that you would have never thought of.
October 4, 2018
Awesome book.
Definitely helps me understand what I'm feeling is normal as my wife and I walk this path. Laughed out loud when he started talking about the train wreck followed by a roller coaster. Nailed what this feels like perfectly.
If you're a husband whose wife is diagnosed with breast cancer, read this book. Yes, if for no other reason to know you are not alone and are not the only guy to feel like you feel.
Definitely helps me understand what I'm feeling is normal as my wife and I walk this path. Laughed out loud when he started talking about the train wreck followed by a roller coaster. Nailed what this feels like perfectly.
If you're a husband whose wife is diagnosed with breast cancer, read this book. Yes, if for no other reason to know you are not alone and are not the only guy to feel like you feel.
July 30, 2023
A helpful and insightful book. Sure it's outdated, but it can be enjoyable to read about palm pilot and Mark McGwire references in the middle of such serious topics. The book being outdated also helps with the stats and treatment plans as it's important to remember this is how things were 20 years ago, and while breast cancer still sucks doctors have more tools today. Maybe not for everyone, but it was helpful to me.
April 26, 2019
When we I was diagnosed with breast cancer my husband said he felt very alone and didnt know what his role was in this journey. This book was such a blessing! All of the interviews and stories told helped him understand the best ways to love me through this. Every breast cancer husband should read this book!
February 11, 2018
Highly recommended to anyone touched by cancer.
October 3, 2020
A great resource of information, Breast Cancer Husband explores the gamut of emotions without being sappy. After my husband finished reading it, he gave it to me. Thank you Marc Silver.
October 17, 2020
Good advice and information
Help navigating the complicated breast cancer map. Good information on all the stages of the disease and answers to the tough questions.
Help navigating the complicated breast cancer map. Good information on all the stages of the disease and answers to the tough questions.
September 27, 2024
Like a lot of things do these days, finding a care package on my porch from the Pennsylvania Breast Cancer Coalition made me cry. It contained a number of handy things...a stainless steel tumbler (during radiation I am drinking 80-100 ounces of water a day), chapstick, a reusable icepack, socks, a gift card...that's just for starters.
The package also held two books, one for me, and one for my husband. I was especially touched by the latter, by the fact that they'd spared a thought for the men who are so drastically impacted by their wives' breast cancer. I think it was THAT that made me cry.
MY book is Pink Ribbon Stories: A Celebration of Life, by Tammy Miller. It is a pretty pink covered paperback collection of toxic positivity and religiosity. I took immediate exception to Tammy Miller herself, who cheered her family and extensive crew of devoted pals through her own breast cancer, arriving at the hospital for her mastectomy with a bag full of clown noses and clown shoes for her surgeon and nurses to wear. Which they did.
Boy, do I fail. Compared to Tammy, I am a bad breast cancer person. I brought no good cheer with me on the day of my surgery. I arrived at the hospital nearly paralyzed by distress and anxiety, shuddering with nerves. I brought no clown noses or clown feet. I provided no pep talks. I did not keep the surgical unit in stitches. I did not rally my worried husband with positivity and a blithe spirit and buoyant attitude.
To the essayists who contributed to Pink Ribbon Stories: A Celebration of Life, who can't praise their god enough for bringing them through their time of supreme travail, I have one question, no, two: First, what about your pink sisters whose ashes have been scattered in their favorite places...did they not pray hard enough? Second, pray tell, whence cometh the affliction in the first place?
I am still working my way through Tammy Clown Nose Miller and her Pink Sisters, but I had to take a break. I picked up Marc Silver's Breast Cancer Husband: How to Help Your Wife (and Yourself) Through Diagnosis, Treatment and Beyond instead, and wound up reading it from cover to cover, highlighting some passages, and making notes in the margins.
It's dated, this book. Marc's wife, Marsha, was diagnosed in 2001, just before 9-11.
Some things have changed, treatment-wise, in the intervening 23 years, but enough remains pertinent to make this book so much more worthwhile a read for me than the saccharin Pink Ribbon Stories.
Breast Cancer Husband was intended for Lorne, and I may ask him to at least glance at my highlighted passages. I am the one, however, who has gotten so much from it. For sending it to my husband, I would like to thank the PA Breast Cancer Coalition.
Actually, I did thank them. I filled out and returned their questionnaire, thanking them for the care package in general, and in particular for remembering my poor husband.
The package also held two books, one for me, and one for my husband. I was especially touched by the latter, by the fact that they'd spared a thought for the men who are so drastically impacted by their wives' breast cancer. I think it was THAT that made me cry.
MY book is Pink Ribbon Stories: A Celebration of Life, by Tammy Miller. It is a pretty pink covered paperback collection of toxic positivity and religiosity. I took immediate exception to Tammy Miller herself, who cheered her family and extensive crew of devoted pals through her own breast cancer, arriving at the hospital for her mastectomy with a bag full of clown noses and clown shoes for her surgeon and nurses to wear. Which they did.
Boy, do I fail. Compared to Tammy, I am a bad breast cancer person. I brought no good cheer with me on the day of my surgery. I arrived at the hospital nearly paralyzed by distress and anxiety, shuddering with nerves. I brought no clown noses or clown feet. I provided no pep talks. I did not keep the surgical unit in stitches. I did not rally my worried husband with positivity and a blithe spirit and buoyant attitude.
To the essayists who contributed to Pink Ribbon Stories: A Celebration of Life, who can't praise their god enough for bringing them through their time of supreme travail, I have one question, no, two: First, what about your pink sisters whose ashes have been scattered in their favorite places...did they not pray hard enough? Second, pray tell, whence cometh the affliction in the first place?
I am still working my way through Tammy Clown Nose Miller and her Pink Sisters, but I had to take a break. I picked up Marc Silver's Breast Cancer Husband: How to Help Your Wife (and Yourself) Through Diagnosis, Treatment and Beyond instead, and wound up reading it from cover to cover, highlighting some passages, and making notes in the margins.
It's dated, this book. Marc's wife, Marsha, was diagnosed in 2001, just before 9-11.
Some things have changed, treatment-wise, in the intervening 23 years, but enough remains pertinent to make this book so much more worthwhile a read for me than the saccharin Pink Ribbon Stories.
Breast Cancer Husband was intended for Lorne, and I may ask him to at least glance at my highlighted passages. I am the one, however, who has gotten so much from it. For sending it to my husband, I would like to thank the PA Breast Cancer Coalition.
Actually, I did thank them. I filled out and returned their questionnaire, thanking them for the care package in general, and in particular for remembering my poor husband.
June 29, 2012
Every husband out there support a wife with breast cancer needs this book! I can't begin to tell you how much it may hurt to not know some of the info in here. I bought about 5 books immediately after being diagnosed with breast cancer. I had hoped my husband would read it and glean a bit of knowlledge to our upcoming battle. Alas he did not and he moved out after 16 yrs of marriage a year after my treatments. My battle was just too much for him to handle. I read this book before donating it to the local library. I cried, knowing had he read it, he would have had a better grasp and maybe our marriage would have survived. I was SHOCKED to find out how many marriages end in divorce after battling illnesses. I hope all the men who read this give their wives the support they will need to win this battle.
I won my battle 7 yrs ago and counting!
I won my battle 7 yrs ago and counting!
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October 17, 2012A lot of people on Amazon said this was a really great book, and although it's not exactly applicable to my situation, I thought it might generalize. No, I'm not a husband or even a guy, but I am a person who has a hard time saying the right thing or knowing what to do to help people. No, my loved one does not have breast cancer, but he does have another cancer. I figured I could just consider it a guidebook for louts whose significant others have cancer, and take what I could from it. Surprisingly little transfers, though, and reading it was generally inspiring feelings of guilt and despair. Luckily, I found When the Man You Love is Ill--a much better fit. I guess men and women are more different than I thought.
January 28, 2015
Very helpful
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews