Saving Beauty from the Beast: How to Protect Your Daughter from an Unhealthy Relationship

by Vicki Crompton, Ellen Zelda Kessner

Dating violence affects a huge number of teenage girls -- one in three girls between the ages of ten and eighteen reports having been assaulted by a boyfriend -- and can run the gamut from possessiveness to stalking to outright physical abuse. Often it is the girls with the highest selfesteem, those who believe they are in control of their lives and can bring out the best in their boyfriends, who find themselves in the grip of a relationship in which the tables have been turned.

This essential and timely book incorporates the insights and advice of experts in the fields of education, adolescent psychology, criminal justice, threat assessment, and sociology. Authors Crompton and Kessner also include the voices of teenagers and parents to provide an in-depth portrait of the dynamics of controlling behavior.

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology

272 pages, Paperback

First published March 5, 2003

Reviews

[Oi Yin · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a direct service provider for those affected by violence in the home for over three years, there was little new information provided. However, for those just starting in the field, it provides a clear and concise run down of warning signs and intervention/resolution techniques that are useful for identifying an unhealthy relationship. The first hand case studies lend a feeling of kinship and shatters the shield of invincibility most feel towards this subject. Denial can be the biggest obstacle for parents when it comes understanding and reaching out to their children and vice versa. It reminds us that if you don't think it can happen to you, think again.

[Brien · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is not merely for parents. It is for teachers, youth leaders, ministers, or anyone who has earned the trust of a potentially vulnerable young woman--and all are potentially vulnerable to abusive relationships. Young women tell their stories, both the bad relationships and how they ended them.
These dangerous relationships are not always easy to spot. Crompton shows the way--how to spot a bad relationship, what to say and how to say it, other ways to intervene. The lessons should be taken absolutely seriously. This is a very readable and important book.

[Andrea · Rating 5 out of 5]

So much good information and lived experience about the disease of terrorism within teen dating and domestic abuse. Prevention, safety planning, warning signs.. helpful ways to assist and support someone in navigating through or out of a relationship where abuse is present.

[Kim Buchanan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Haunting but important read for any parent of daughters.

[Lauren · Rating 4 out of 5]

There is so much good information in this book. (Granted, the book is a bit older & all of that info may or may not be out of date at this point.) Unfortunately, unhealthy relationships still exist. Unfortunately, abuse still happens.

Granted, this book is also horrifying. I am not saying the book itself is horrifying. The stories recounted in here ... Both scary & heartbreaking.

Also, this is told from the perspective that your daughter is in an abusive relationship of some story. Let's be honest - It *definitely* happens & there are probably higher stats about women being abused. Also, in the vein of honesty - men get abused too. (Women can be abusive too, though in different ways, & it is no less taxing.) And this book was very heteronormative. Everything in this book is about boyfriends beating up their girlfriends. Granted, this book is from 2003 & *at best* there were probably limited stats relating to abuse within the LGBT community.

[Meredith Mentzer · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5!

A required read that ended up being an interesting book with lived experiences of IPV in a dating relationship, while still being informative.

[Alyssa Kent · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was really good i enjoyed reading it because it was a true stories about abusive relationships, and how to keep your daughters or friends get out of them. It was cool how the author that wrote the book at the experience of an abusive relationship because her daughter was dating an older man, and he stabbed her 60 times, while she was in an abusive relationship. There were so many different storys in this book of emotional abuse and physical abuse. It tells you how to spot an abusive relationship, and how to get out. one interesting story was about a girl who was 15 her name as Eva and her boyfriend kissed her in the car and she said something he didn't like so he started choking her. Another good story was about a girl named Nina and she was abused by her boyfriends verbally, and he tried to take advantage of her, making her have sex and do things she didn't want to do, and she got trapped in a pickle and didn't know how to get out. I would differently recommend this book to Moms and Teenagers because it tells you signs of knowing if someone is in an abusive relationship or some how being harmed by their boyfriend, then maybe you can get them help.

[Raine.r.pierre · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just enjoyed the book. Vicki Crompton's book was interested about the cycle of teen dating violence after the death of her fifteen-year-old daughter, Jenny was murdered by an abusive ex-boyfriend over 30 years ago in September 1986. She points out the warning signs of teen dating violence. It's really interesting for parents of teen daughters, who really starts dating. Crompton is still does public speaking at middle and high school, to discuss to the students about her daughter's murder and the warning signs of teen dating violence.

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a must-read for parents of girls or boys. And every teen should read it, as well. As a survivor of an unhealthy relationship, I've never read a book that gives parents so many tool to be proactive even before an unhealthy relationship starts. If I had known what was in this book, I might have been able to recognize the warning signs from the very first date, when I could have more easily left.

For full review, see here. http://eagleswingsbooks.blogspot.com/...

[Nicolettenat · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very important book. Friends, family, and young girls should read - it provides insight and shows the warning signs of an abusive relationship and the steps that people around a victim can take to help her safely get out.

The stories in these books are important, and should never be overlooked. I appreciate their bravery in sharing their stories, and their work to try and prevent teen dating violence by contributing their voices to this strong novel.

[Kaitlin · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was really a disappointment for me. For our summer reading at my school, this was an option for our Law class. I was disappointed to find that the discussion of law was limited and that this book was more of a self help. Although the stories were interesting and the advice was good, the overall review I would make of the book is disappointing.

[Dana · Rating 4 out of 5]

very informative book. I had attended a conference with my daughter where the author was a guest speaker. She was excellent. The book is great for anyone that has a teen daughter or even a son. It talks about all types of relationship abuse (what to look for, what to say or do...) and has real stories from others that have been abused.

[Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is imperative that girls read this before they date.
It doesn't sugar-coat anything, but that's what is necessary.
Crompton encompasses all angles of bad relationships, in all levels of seriousness.

[Lynn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this after going to a program at my daughters school which had Vicki Crompton as the guest speaker. Very powerful story that has helped my teen daughter make the right decisions. I would recommend reading it then having your teenager read it.

[Tiffany · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anyone that has a teen daughter should read this book. It is extremely enlightening.