Forgiving What You'll Never Forget

by David Stoop

Forgiveness is an essential part of being a Christian. But what do we do when confronted with the unforgivable--an act that shakes our moral foundations to their roots, often committed by someone trusted and loved? Murder, sexual abuse, adultery--all leave lifelong wounds and all are trespasses that, through the grace of God, still can be forgiven. Dr. David Stoop compassionately guides readers along the course of heartfelt forgiveness, freeing them to apply the biblical teachings that have already changed thousands of lives. Now available in mass market.

Genres: Psychology, Counselling

160 pages, Paperback

Published January 17, 2017

About the author

David Stoop, PhD, is a licensed clinical psychologist in California. He received a master's in theology from Fuller Theological Seminary and a doctorate from the University of Southern California.
He is frequently heard as a cohost on the nationally syndicated New Life Live! radio and TV program.
David is the founder and director of the Center for Family Therapy in Newport Beach, California. He is also an adjunct professor at Fuller Seminary and serves on the executive board of the American Association of Christian Counselors.
David is a Gold Medallion-winning author who has written more than thirty books, including Forgiving the Unforgivable, and Rethink How You Think.
He resides with his wife Jan in Newport Beach, California, and has three sons and six grandchildren.

Connect with David on:
DrStoop.com
Facebook
Twitter

Reviews

[Analie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book pleasantly surprised me. So much poor teaching about forgiveness exists that I am always cautious about these types of books. However, I would recommend Dr. Stoop's book wholeheartedly. I appreciated his clarity about healthy ways to process and move toward forgiveness without forcing oneself too quickly so that the forgiveness is genuine. He also explains that the earlier in life and more severe the harm, the more time may be needed.

Another great book is "Forgiving What You Can't Forget" by Lysa TerKeurst, which dives a bit deeper into forgiveness with boundaries.

[Collette · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good insights and thoughts about forgiveness. It’s a decision AND a process. I like the idea of forgiving and learning from our experiences. Forgiving does not mean you are saying it’s ok what the person who hurt you did to you, but it is about freeing yourself from the negativity, hurt, and anger so one can move on with their life. It is not necessary for the person who has done harm to us to feel remorse/repentance in order to forgive. We can choose to untether ourselves from the poison that will fester inside of us if we consider getting even or enacting revenge or just continuing to harbor unresolved anger and hurt. We can cut that tie. This was a compassionate perspective while also being direct. This book takes the Christian view of forgiveness.

I also really love this 5 minute talk from UCLA medical school psychiatrist, Dr. Stephen Marmer. https://youtu.be/6xsVM_gd0Tc He talks about 3 types of forgiveness: exoneration, forbearance and release.

[Kari · Rating 4 out of 5]

I give four stars purely for chapter 6. I've only read through chapter 7 so far, and the rest of the book has taken me like 8 months to get through and keep deciding whether I cared to keep reading. I have only the smallest bit of knowledge of who Dave Stoop is, and I did look up a few of his books simply because what I know is really good, but I probably decided on this book because it was a topic I'm always working on...but after reading the first 5 chapters I was thinking ok, this book isn't any more informational than all the other stuff I've tried to learn and relearn and check off for years.

But then I read chapter 6 today, and now this is the chapter and the descriptions and the ways of putting things that to me, are about the most useful things about forgiveness I've ever heard from anyone. I mostly know this because of my personal experience by now. But anyway, I would recommend chapter 6 to anyone and everyone, and I hope to.

[Gladys Landing-Corretjer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful book! Many lessons learned! We all should read this pocket book full of truth on forgiveness. Forgiving is not easy, but it is a must. It is the will of God for us. God wants us to be whole! His thoughts for us are of well being and not harm us (Jeremiah 29:11). Forgiving those who hurt us and asking God to forgive them, would help us reap innumerable benefits, not only for us but also for those around us! Please read the book, you won't regret it!

[Liliana Perez-Vasquez · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book, however, I wished it had more tactile exercises to enlighten us with. The book provides us with steps on the road and the process of forgiveness, however, not with the "how." Also, if you're not a religious person, this book will be of no use. The entire center of this book revolves on Jesus, and how he has died for our sins. This is true, but if you're not in tact with your faith, this entire book falls apart.

[Linda Mullin · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent opporrunity for understanding the process of forgiveness and coping ways that interfer.

Gave me opportunity to continuing to reflect while seeking the Holy Spirit to reveal anything more I need to see and or work through.

[Anayre Martinez · Rating 3 out of 5]

I felt that a lot of it dragged on. I liked a lot of the advice because of the connection to Jesus but it was also a lot of repetition of the same thing over and over. The last two chapters weren’t necessary in my opinion. But fantastic book and changed the way I pray for sure 🙏🏻

[Marina · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great read allows you to do some searching within yourself and definitely a process that can help anyone going through a difficult time.

[Kari French · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book helped me look at forgiveness through a different lens. There are so many misconceptions regarding what forgiveness means, what it looks like, and how you achieve it!

[Kris Gibson · Rating 5 out of 5]

... Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do... Luke 23:34, KJV
...Lord, lay not this sin to their charge... Acts 7:60 KJV
I'll just leave it at that.

[Jitter · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5

[Richelle Goodrich · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you are struggling with deep hurt and sorrow caused by scarring offenses, if forgiveness seems an unfair or ridiculous expectation, if letting go of hard feelings and healing from betrayal seems impossible... this book is for you. In truth, I did not agree with every idea presented by the author, but I did find most of his suggestions helpful. I learned a great deal about the process and benefits of forgiveness, especially what it actually means to forgive. Many of the example stories resonated with me. They demonstrated how forgiveness is both possible and beneficial to the person who was hurt, betrayed, or offended in what may seem like unforgivable ways. The author builds his case on religious beliefs, but religious or not, there is a healing path to forgiveness outlined here. I do recommend reading the book.

[Mandi Connell · Rating 5 out of 5]

*4.5* Sometimes I hold grudges and I felt like I needed to delve into forgiveness a little bit more haha. This had some really great insights and actually helped me a lot :)