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Caged Eyes: An Air Force Cadet's Story of Rape and Resilience
An insider's account of misogyny and rape in the US military and her extraordinary path to recovery and activism.
In one of the worst scandals ever faced by the military, in 2003, six women went public with their accounts of sexual assault and harassment at the Air Force Academy. The relentless media attention and congressional inquiry instigated a crisis at the Academy, one pitting rape survivors against the classmates who blamed them for trying to destroy the institution. Lynn Hall was one of those survivors desperate to realize her childhood dream of being an astronaut. For Hall, the military offered an escape from her chaotic home her erratic mother, absent biological father, and a man she called dad who sexually abused her. She's dismissed from the Academy when, after being raped by a classmate and contracting herpes, she is diagnosed with meningitis and left with chronic pain. A story of grappling with shame and a culture that blames victims, Caged Eyes is also a moving account of Hall's struggle to advocate for herself and recognize her own strength.
In one of the worst scandals ever faced by the military, in 2003, six women went public with their accounts of sexual assault and harassment at the Air Force Academy. The relentless media attention and congressional inquiry instigated a crisis at the Academy, one pitting rape survivors against the classmates who blamed them for trying to destroy the institution. Lynn Hall was one of those survivors desperate to realize her childhood dream of being an astronaut. For Hall, the military offered an escape from her chaotic home her erratic mother, absent biological father, and a man she called dad who sexually abused her. She's dismissed from the Academy when, after being raped by a classmate and contracting herpes, she is diagnosed with meningitis and left with chronic pain. A story of grappling with shame and a culture that blames victims, Caged Eyes is also a moving account of Hall's struggle to advocate for herself and recognize her own strength.
274 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 1, 2017
3 people are currently reading
591 people want to read
About the author
Lynn K. Hall
1 book29 followersLynn Hall is a memoirist:
Pain Always Shifts: Coping With a Chronic Headache One Mountain at a Time (Vine Leaves Press, 2027)
Caged Eyes: An Air Force Cadet's Story of Rape and Resilience (Beacon Press, 2017)
Pain Always Shifts: Coping With a Chronic Headache One Mountain at a Time (Vine Leaves Press, 2027)
Caged Eyes: An Air Force Cadet's Story of Rape and Resilience (Beacon Press, 2017)
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 38 reviews
February 7, 2017
I'm not normally one to read memoirs but I'm glad I had the chance to read this powerful book. I was really shaken by this memoir. I found myself crying in many parts of it, my heart breaking for the situations that Lynn found herself in during her time at the Air Force Academy. Having resilience in the title is apt, because Lynn K. Hall has it in spades. I'm not sure I could have had the same strength that she did to overcome everything she went through.
This is an important book and even more so in the times we find ourselves in where the conversation about women's rights, their bodies and the respect that women deserve are in the forefront of the news. It is stories like Lynn's that truly prove that we need a new dialogue. We need to stop the victim-shaming and teach our boys that rape is never, never ok. In my opinion, this memoir is a must read.
This is an important book and even more so in the times we find ourselves in where the conversation about women's rights, their bodies and the respect that women deserve are in the forefront of the news. It is stories like Lynn's that truly prove that we need a new dialogue. We need to stop the victim-shaming and teach our boys that rape is never, never ok. In my opinion, this memoir is a must read.
September 16, 2016
Lynn Hall's memoir, Caged Eyes, is an important, well-written, and - above all - honest book. It's a tough read emotionally, but I'm so glad I read it! For those of us who feel sorry for ourselves over the most insignificant slight, who complain over the most minor physical ailments, we are given a glimpse into what actual hardship and actual pain feel like. And in the process we are shown what real courage, resilience, and strength are as well. And talk about strength! - Lynn Hall is an amazing person and a wonderful writer, and her book Caged Eyes made me feel anger, sadness, and most of all hope - both for change and for her continued success.
September 10, 2016
This memoir blew my mind, broke my heart, and uplifted my soul. Not only is Lynn Hall's writing exquisite and unflinching, her story and journey are so unique - how she rose up from the depths of hell (emotional abuse, sexual abuse, and near death) and came out the other side to write this unspeakably courageous and unforgettable memoir, the first of its kind. It's a must read.
September 10, 2016
This is the most honest book I've ever read. I can only imagine the humility, strength, and bravery it took to capture every one of these very real words. Because of Hall's vivid descriptions, I found myself cringing and shaking my head in disbelief, but then nodding in appreciation in response to the people who supported and cared for Hall, and also how Hall decided to care for herself. "A story of rape and resilience" is such an apt description of this memoir, and I encourage everyone to read it.
December 4, 2016
I'll admit, I don't typically pick up memoirs. But Lynn is one of my fellow Debutante Ball members and I was intrigued just off the title alone. This story embodies one word: bravery. It takes a tremendous amount of bravery to come out front stage and write this type of book. There were moments when my mouth just dropped and I was filled with rage for her. It's incredibly relatable, triggering, and timely. A hard read to stomach but you'll be hungry to finish it.
December 22, 2016
There are no words. Thank goodness there are strong, thoughtful women like Lynn Hall with the courage to tell the whole of their experience. When my daughter is an appropriate age, I will put this book in her hands.
February 20, 2017
First of all I want to thank Beacon Press for the chance to read this in exchange for a review.
I wanted to read this book when I first saw it listed. I am an Army brat and going to a military academy would be the highest honor any one could obtain in my community.
I remember the 20/20 show of several years ago and like most others forgotten it. However I knew in the back of my mind the culture of the military life and keeping things controlled and unspoken. I knew this story had merit.
Gaged Eyes is the story of Lynn Hall who was abused. Even more heartbreaking, the people we are told are our future and present leaders, our mentors and persons of authority did it or had a blind eye.
Growing up in a military family (my mother was also an officer RN during WWII), you are never allowed to think on your own or develop a sense of self. You want to blend in and go along as a group. The pack mentality.
This book is a complete story of struggle and redemption. The chapters are hard to read, and at one point I was about to stop. Lynn’s story of being raped and then her illness is a cautionary tale for any walk of life, especially those who have many layers of authority over them or have a sense of hopeless.
I recommend the book to those who are not faint of heart and want to know what’s behind the glitz and glitter, the dirty secrets.
Lynn tells her story and is an engaging and excellent writer.
I wanted to read this book when I first saw it listed. I am an Army brat and going to a military academy would be the highest honor any one could obtain in my community.
I remember the 20/20 show of several years ago and like most others forgotten it. However I knew in the back of my mind the culture of the military life and keeping things controlled and unspoken. I knew this story had merit.
Gaged Eyes is the story of Lynn Hall who was abused. Even more heartbreaking, the people we are told are our future and present leaders, our mentors and persons of authority did it or had a blind eye.
Growing up in a military family (my mother was also an officer RN during WWII), you are never allowed to think on your own or develop a sense of self. You want to blend in and go along as a group. The pack mentality.
This book is a complete story of struggle and redemption. The chapters are hard to read, and at one point I was about to stop. Lynn’s story of being raped and then her illness is a cautionary tale for any walk of life, especially those who have many layers of authority over them or have a sense of hopeless.
I recommend the book to those who are not faint of heart and want to know what’s behind the glitz and glitter, the dirty secrets.
Lynn tells her story and is an engaging and excellent writer.
May 22, 2017
This is one of the most powerful books I have read in a long time. It is not an easy read. Let me clarify: the writing is excellent and I read the entire book in a single weekend. But the subject matter is a challenging one, the sexual abuse that Hall suffered first as a teenager from trusted adult friends and then a rape that happened while she was a cadet in the Air Force Academy. This is a book about trusting yourself, being strong, fighting for your rights, and moving past trauma, even given the severe challenges Hall had (the physical repercussions of the rape continue even more than a decade after it occurred). I found myself tearing up at the end, as ultimately Hall fights to heal herself. This book angered me, saddened me, and ultimately uplifted me. Every feminist--no, every woman--should read this book. I hate to repeat myself but it's the best word for it: Powerful.
February 25, 2017
For the record, I know the author of this book. For that reason this review will hardly be objective. In fact, I think this is the only 5 star review I have ever given out. I remember when the 20/20 story broke, I was in the Air Force at the time and I looked over to one of my friends and said "I sure hope my buddy Lynn isn't wrapped up in that". Lynn was something of a hero to me, she set her goal to go to the AFA and become a pilot, something I was way to lazy and interested in women to do myself. With systematic efficiency they chewed her up and spit her out. I give the AFA two middle fingers up any time I think of them. Sadly, this was a movie I had seen before. Enlisted women who were taken advantage of in training by drill Sergeants were discharged for 'adjustment disorders'. I remember having to be the designated "boyfriend" of my female squadron-mates because their drunk sergeants and officers would make passes at them. Refuse; get in trouble, comply and get into trouble also. If they had a 'boyfriend' who was present, they respected me enough not to make passes at them. I had a friend get lectured for having pre-marital sex (she was 24) for 45 minutes from a military medical professional when she sought emergency contraception when she suspected a condom had failed. None of that rises to what they did to my friend Lynn, but it paints the picture the type of environment she had to contend with. It is my understanding that it is much worse at the AFA.
Lynn is still my hero; this type of thing breaks people and they never get it back together again. She did, and I am extremely glad about that. It breaks my heart that Lynn had to go through this. I knew her when she was 17; she was cool, sweet, motivated, and kind to everyone she met. Everything you would want in a teenage girl with big dreams. In my mind, destroying that (or trying too) is unforgivable.
Lynn is still my hero; this type of thing breaks people and they never get it back together again. She did, and I am extremely glad about that. It breaks my heart that Lynn had to go through this. I knew her when she was 17; she was cool, sweet, motivated, and kind to everyone she met. Everything you would want in a teenage girl with big dreams. In my mind, destroying that (or trying too) is unforgivable.
February 8, 2017
Lynn K. Hall's memoir is the unflinching account of the sexual violence she experienced as both a civilian (growing up she was abused by two different father figures) and as a cadet (where she was raped by an upper classman) at the Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs. She writes with the skill and precision of a journalist; she captures disassociation on the page and she doesn't once shy away from the complexities of responses she had to such abuse. As a writer I was impressed by her ability to write the actual traumas recounted here (including the deabilitative headaches she suffers from as a result of the meningitis she got from her rapist by way of the herpes virus), but even more so I was impressed by how she crafted the ending from her life in such a way where a mending of sorts can occur for both her persona and the reader. This book is a courageous display of activism much needed in a political climate where even the President of the United States is openly misogynistic. I particularly appreciated her message that when society allows women to be degraded verbally and emotionally, that climate not only excuses sexual violence, it permits it to happen in the first place. In short: So-called "locker room talk" does equate to sexual violence.
February 24, 2017
This book is fantastic. Yes, it is a difficult read, especially the first half, where the author undergoes an excruciating series of violations, as well as the grueling induction to the Air Force Academy--but Hall's telling is riveting and generous to the reader. She writes bluntly but does not over-dramatize anything, so as a reader, you know what happened and the impact of those events.
In the second half, Hall dives more deeply into the repercussions of one particular assault at the Academy and her reflection, over the years since, on those effects and on the impact on women at that time in the military, specifically at the Academy. She also describes the steps she took to recover from what she realizes was a lifetime of abuses that built upon each other and finally overwhelmed her body when she contracted a horrible case of meningitis.
Her story will hold appeal for people who have experienced sexual assault, or who have a friend or loved one who has experienced an assault. It also will resonate with people who have experienced other types of abusive upbringings. And it will speak to people who have not been in those situations, but want to understand the experience.
In the second half, Hall dives more deeply into the repercussions of one particular assault at the Academy and her reflection, over the years since, on those effects and on the impact on women at that time in the military, specifically at the Academy. She also describes the steps she took to recover from what she realizes was a lifetime of abuses that built upon each other and finally overwhelmed her body when she contracted a horrible case of meningitis.
Her story will hold appeal for people who have experienced sexual assault, or who have a friend or loved one who has experienced an assault. It also will resonate with people who have experienced other types of abusive upbringings. And it will speak to people who have not been in those situations, but want to understand the experience.
March 7, 2017
I was already friends with author when I purchased her memoir, and while I knew and admired the "present day" Lynn Hall, I didn't know her full story (only parts of it). Having read it, I'm even more in awe of her strength and character.
The storytelling is superb -- I read the whole book in three days because I couldn't wait to find out what happened next. Hall writes with a vulnerability that drew me in and made me feel both sympathetic and empathetic to her experience. I saw myself in her words, even though her experience is so different from my own. And I was surprised by how fascinated I became reading about what life is like in the military. As a gal from Canada, I've had no close friends or family in the military and had no access to such insights -- and what insights they are! Whoa!
In telling her truth, Lynn Hall has gifted us with a ground-shaking account of just how deeply the misogyny and abuse in America's military has taken root. I hope that these institutions have the sense and wherewithal to do the honorable thing and rectify these systemic abuses. And if they don't, they are just as criminal as the actual perpetrators of the crimes.
The storytelling is superb -- I read the whole book in three days because I couldn't wait to find out what happened next. Hall writes with a vulnerability that drew me in and made me feel both sympathetic and empathetic to her experience. I saw myself in her words, even though her experience is so different from my own. And I was surprised by how fascinated I became reading about what life is like in the military. As a gal from Canada, I've had no close friends or family in the military and had no access to such insights -- and what insights they are! Whoa!
In telling her truth, Lynn Hall has gifted us with a ground-shaking account of just how deeply the misogyny and abuse in America's military has taken root. I hope that these institutions have the sense and wherewithal to do the honorable thing and rectify these systemic abuses. And if they don't, they are just as criminal as the actual perpetrators of the crimes.
March 20, 2017
This book shows how, by shear force of will, a very young woman takes back the power that a long line of people tried to take away. Each of the perpetrators is specific: Hall makes no sweeping generalizations. And that makes the impact of her story all the more tremendous. When she finally comes across decent people who know how and are willing to do the right thing and to help her, the wave of relief I felt also made me angry. How much suffering is one person supposed to bear? And why? Hall does not ask it, though. Her story makes a different point about the power of respect-her attackers had no respect for her; some key people in the institutions she set out to serve had not respect for her, and injustice reigned. When powerful people did choose to take her seriously, injustice was overturned. And her story of how she learned to respect herself will inspire me forever.
February 22, 2017
An enthralling and traumatic read of multiple sexual assaults and the aftermath. With spots that are both difficult to read and inspiring, this book really puts light on not just the culture of the armed forces, but of a society as a whole, that tends to blame and shame victims. Having known survivors of sexual assault, this was an emotionally challenging book, but well worth the effort.
November 23, 2016
I won this book in a give away before it was released. What an eye opener. I loved the honesty of the story. The insight as to why & how different victims react to their abuse. Both men & women should read this book
May 5, 2017
This is an emotionally intense book but worth the ride. I was a little hesitant to read it due to the subject matter, but I am glad I did. Some experiences are traumatic to read, but still, in the end, you feel a deepening of your own humanity for having read it.
I feel like I have a better understanding of both the military culture and how rape culture and institutional sexism really function, but there were other a-ha moments that I didn't expect, for example, Hall discusses how being a minority in the military means your who group (in her case, women) were judged by the actions of the few, which explained to me something I'd never understood-why women or other minorities often are hard on each other instead of lifting each other up.
This subject matter of the book is of course incredibly relevant today, but I think the narrative of resilience is universal and timeless.
I kept thinking of an Audre Lorde quote as I read this, "Your silence will not protect you."
As always, my reviews are inadequate, but I truly was touched to my bone marrow reading this book.
I feel like I have a better understanding of both the military culture and how rape culture and institutional sexism really function, but there were other a-ha moments that I didn't expect, for example, Hall discusses how being a minority in the military means your who group (in her case, women) were judged by the actions of the few, which explained to me something I'd never understood-why women or other minorities often are hard on each other instead of lifting each other up.
This subject matter of the book is of course incredibly relevant today, but I think the narrative of resilience is universal and timeless.
I kept thinking of an Audre Lorde quote as I read this, "Your silence will not protect you."
As always, my reviews are inadequate, but I truly was touched to my bone marrow reading this book.
May 31, 2017
Quite a revealing memoir of the rigid and closed minded nature of military academies, in particular, the Air Force Acadamy, in the early 2000's. I found the book hard to read, not because of the style, but because of the subject matter. Ms Hall writes beautifully, without self-pity or rancor, and she has become a model of the value of resilience.
I highly recommend this book for anyone who wants to learn more about military sexual trauma. In fact, I have lent my copy to the SHARP advocates in the Army Brigade in which I am currently working.
I highly recommend this book for anyone who wants to learn more about military sexual trauma. In fact, I have lent my copy to the SHARP advocates in the Army Brigade in which I am currently working.
June 8, 2017
4.5 stars. Very powerful, engaging memoir. The subject matter was difficult at times, of course, but the book was well written and riveting. I wish Lynn K Hall much continued success and healing.
June 10, 2023
This book cuts to the core. I am not doing details about what her book entails, only to say that this happened in the early 2000s. Women were allowed in the military academies in 1976 and here in 2000, the women's bathrooms still had boxed off urinals! What the hell? On top of this, here it is in 2023 and the same thing is happening to our young women (and some men) who want to join the military and be the best they can be.
I'm both prior Army (enlisted) and also retired from the Air Force about 22 years. It is very maddening to see that serial predators in the military and are still in and getting away with it and the blame is still on the victim.
Even though congress has been telling the military for years to tighten up and get its sexual abuse/sexual harassment under control, it's still not in control. I see that this is going to continue happening for some time until they hold the commanders responsible for the troops under the command and that "the good old boy network" is disbanded! Until, other men are willing to say this is not my military and watch over those who are predators, nothing is going to change.
Thank you Lynn for telling your story. I hope that there are other women who have gone through this and know that they too are not alone!
I'm both prior Army (enlisted) and also retired from the Air Force about 22 years. It is very maddening to see that serial predators in the military and are still in and getting away with it and the blame is still on the victim.
Even though congress has been telling the military for years to tighten up and get its sexual abuse/sexual harassment under control, it's still not in control. I see that this is going to continue happening for some time until they hold the commanders responsible for the troops under the command and that "the good old boy network" is disbanded! Until, other men are willing to say this is not my military and watch over those who are predators, nothing is going to change.
Thank you Lynn for telling your story. I hope that there are other women who have gone through this and know that they too are not alone!
April 21, 2019
I read Lynn's book Caged Eyes a couple of months ago. Her memoir is a raw and gripping story of systemic misogyny and sexual violence against women in the military. While she writes about a horrific rape perpetrated by a fellow cadet and the silent shame she carried while working to achieve her goals, the story is about so much more than one assault. She honestly shares how past abuse made her a prime target for her attack, the long-term physical and emotional toll of her attack and impacted her military career, and the backlash women face when they share their stories. Her memoir identifies the failures of men who ascribe to toxic masculinity and a system that ignores the needs of survivors. I loved hearing about her advocacy work (which continues to make her book so timely), and her work in progress. Lynn is one hell of a badass writer. I can’t wait to read her next memoir!
February 1, 2023
This was an intense but amazing book. It's an incredibly well-written memoir of an Air Force cadet's time at the United States Air Force Academy during the heightened time of the rape allegations. And the author was one of the women who was raped (but not one who came forward in the media blitz that happened when the allegations came out). We learn about Hall's history, her perseverance, and her finally reaching a place of self-care. I don't want to give too much of the book away, but wow did this woman persevere against a LOT of odds not least of which was an incredibly competitive service academy that wasn't very welcoming of women. A great read, an intense read, and one that will make you think.
May 17, 2017
Excellent book on the aftermath of sexual assault. The writer takes us on her personal journey of injustices beginning at childhood and then throughout her military career. This is not a quick read nor a book to be taken lightly. She's putting herself out there so that we may understand this issue. And frankly, if you are not someone that has been subject to abuse, most likely you haven't put a great deal of thought in to it. Excellent sequenced writing that allows us to see her story as it has unfolded. My only "wish" is that she wouldn't blame herself as I felt she does at times. None of this was her fault.
January 7, 2018
I was a USAFA cadet at the same time as Lynn. Reading her book instantly transported me back and made me feel like I was reliving my time as a cadet. While I cannot attest to the validity of her specific personal experiences, I can say wholeheartedly that her depiction of USAFA as a misogynistic bubble is 100% accurate. I did not know a single woman who was not negativity affected, at least in some part, by her time spent as a female at USAFA.
Lynn's writing is descriptive without being cumbersome, at times painful to read but very accessible, and is demonstrative of the tremendous self reflection and growth that Lynn has achieved.
I highly recommend this book.
Lynn's writing is descriptive without being cumbersome, at times painful to read but very accessible, and is demonstrative of the tremendous self reflection and growth that Lynn has achieved.
I highly recommend this book.
June 22, 2017
Unapologetic and unrelenting, Hall recounts her story of rape and sexual assault with straightforward candor. She is not apologetic for naming the harm caused to her by the people, professionals and institutions that she turned to for help and support, and neither is she apologetic for the discomfort caused by sharing her story publicly. Although her story consists of unbelievable pain and suffering, it is simultaneously steeped in optimism and hope. Even when faced with insurmountable obstacles, Hall invariably returns to her belief in her ability to survive, thrive, and achieve great things. Heart wrenching and heartfelt, this book will move you in all directions at the same time.
January 10, 2019
This story was an emotional rollercoaster. A young, impressionable, and quite talented young woman is drawn into a supposed ‘man’s world’ where she succeeds. This enrages immature boys who are supported by the classic ‘good ol’ Boy’ system. I felt sorry for her, understanding her tenacity. Loved how she turned around a life threatening situation to emerge a stronger woman. The storyline became mundane at times, hence the 4 stars.
February 7, 2024
Lynn, and her life of being raped by her most trusted person in her life, and rape in the military, and how sick she was physically and the fight as a first year cadet.
“ can’t imagine the fight to survive through the gruelling work outs while so sick.
Helped me understand why many don’t report sexually abuse.
Wonder what happened to the abusers after book was written”.
“ can’t imagine the fight to survive through the gruelling work outs while so sick.
Helped me understand why many don’t report sexually abuse.
Wonder what happened to the abusers after book was written”.
September 16, 2017
I picked up a copy of this book, and thought it would make for an easy read. That I would learn something about the author along the way. No spoilers here, this book delivers way more than expected. A must read for sure.
March 20, 2018
Amazing memoir of an air force cadet. Touches on rape, rape culture, victim blaming, as well as femininity in a male-dominant world. I would 100 percent recommend this brave book, but it is a very tough read. Each page is a trigger warning for sexual assault survivors.
September 16, 2018
Shocking story of rape culture in the US Air Force.
May 9, 2020
There were points in this memoir where I felt like I was reading a book written about my own life.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 38 reviews