Courage in Patience

by Beth Fehlbaum

Courage in Patience

Courage to endure.

Courage to survive.

Courage to overcome.

Tenacious 14-year-old Ashley Asher claws her way back to normalcy after enduring six years of an unimaginable Hell. Uprooted from her negligent and selfish mother, Ashley finds solace in the safety of her father's home. Building a relationship with her stepmother, she's finally able to open up and confront the past that haunts her.

With the help of her stepmom, therapist, and a group of troubled adolescents, Ashley battles her demons, struggling to find the normal teenage life she's always wanted. Can Ashley find the strength and courage to overcome the horrors of her past while fighting for the future she so deserves?

Genres: Young Adult, Realistic Fiction, Abuse

264 pages, Paperback

First published September 1, 2008

About the author

Beth Fehlbaum is the author of the YA novels Find the Moon, Big Fat Disaster, The Patience Trilogy (Courage in Patience, Hope in Patience, and Truth in Patience), and co-author of the creative non-fiction book Trauma Recovery: Sessions with Dr. Matt.
She is a high school English teacher. Authenticity and finding one’s voice are frequent themes in Beth’s work, and they are absolutely essential themes in her life, as well.

Beth has a B.A. in English, Minor in Secondary Education, and an M.Ed. in Reading.

Beth is in-demand as an author-panelist, having presented/appeared at the Texas Library Association Annual Conference, the American Library Association’s annual conference, YALSA, N.C.T.E./ALAN, and numerous YA book festivals. She’s a member of The Author’s Guild, SCBWI, the Editorial Freelancers’ Association, and the Texas Federation of Teachers.
She loves doing school visits and meeting teens, teachers, and librarians!

Beth lives in the woods of East Texas in a house on a slice of family acreage. The home was built by her family over one very hot humid summer, a task she wishes never to repeat again. This sanctuary-of-sorts is lined by pine trees, and the woods are inhabited by raccoons, possums, and feral cats. All of these creatures appear to consider Beth their cat-food-providing goddess. There is no place she would rather be.

10 Random Things About Beth, in her own words:

I’m an animal lover, and I always name the animals in my books after those in my family, like the dogs in Find the Moon—Jake, Kevin, and Chase—as well as the Nigerian dwarf goats, Onslow and Daisy.
I am a fierce advocate for children and abuse victims.
My daughter got me started on watching “90 Day Fiancé,” and I. Can’t. Stop.
I met my husband when we were 14 and 15, and we’ve been together ever since.
I mostly listen to true crime podcasts when I’m driving or cleaning the house, and I watch so much “Snapped” that my husband is convinced that I’m planning something nefarious.
I began writing The Patience Trilogy when I was in therapy to recover from Childhood Sexual Abuse. Struggling with shame at the time, I found grace and mercy for myself by writing about someone else having endured much the same trauma as I did. Writing Courage in Patience helped me find my voice as an author!
I drew on a lot of my own experiences with Binge Eating Disorder to write Colby’s story in Big Fat Disaster.
Find the Moon is the most challenging book I’ve ever written. I love Kylie and her family—especially her potty-mouthed grandmother and star-gazing grandfather!
I don’t believe that all novels need a Happily-Ever-After ending, but they must have a HOPEFUL ending.
I’m on Facebook. Feel free to friend me!

Reviews

[Beatrice Rivers · Rating 5 out of 5]

*I received a copy of this book from Netgalley, in exchange for an honest review*

Ashley has had an awful life. She has been abused by her stepfather and hasn't seen her birth father since she was three months old.

When I started to read this book, I immediately began to feel sorry for Ashley, and I hated Charlie since almost the beginning. As the story progressed, I also started to hate Ashley's mother, as she didn't, or even want to, help her daughter in any way. If she knew what Charlie had been doing, she either didn't care or took Charlie's side through it all.

David, on the other hand, was a likeable character. I couldn't understand why he didn't bother to try to see Ashley before, but I guess that he didn't know what Charlie was doing and Ashley's mother was also probably stopping him from seeing her. I could tell that David cared deeply about Ashley before he even met her as a teen, because of how he reacted any time Charlie was brought up. I also liked Bev and Ben because of how they take Ashley in, no questions asked, except maybe a couple from twelve-year-old Ben!

I did really like this book, and I Highly Recommend this book to all young adult readers.

[Carol · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting story but the characters are very one-dimensional.

[Nihlaeth · Rating 3 out of 5]

I find it hard to rate this book. The beginning was so strong, and some aspects of it were strong throughout the entire book. But it fell short in a lot of areas too.

First of all, the depiction of mental health issues stemming from childhood abuse was amazing. The dissociation was really well done, but also the clash between what you know rationally, and what your gaslighting abuser made you believe. That rang true to me. From the author note, we know this is from experience, but even with that experience it's really hard to make it come to life. And Beth Fehlbaum did that masterfully.

About half way through though, it started bothering me how childish and young the narrator sounded. That might've been intentional on the part of Ashley, given her background, but every characters seemed to suffer from this, even the adults.

I also noticed that whenever we went to a scene with Ashley's school friends, we completely detached from her (no inner monologue at all, with few outward clues to the inner emotional life). Every scene with her family was vivid and at times heartbreaking, but I found myself skimming over school scenes, and pretty much all the scenes with other narrators, because of this detachment.

I appreciate that this book is about more than just abuse; racism, homophobia and education are important themes together with religion. If these themes had gotten the same amount of attention as the abuse, this would've been a five-star read. As it stands now, it falls flat. This is probably because the characters came across as cardboard to me. The adults were either extremely narrow-minded, abusive, and blaming video games and books for everything, or they where the height of understanding and warmth. No in-between. No development whatsoever either, except for the teenagers.

I would've loved to see some flaws in David (aside from the ones in his past) and Beverly. At the same time Cheryl and Charlie could really have used few positive character traits. Being old-fashioned villains with nothing to redeem them feels unrealistic. It was so glaringly obvious that they were abusive, that I could not believe no one saw it before, that child protective services would let Ashley go back there, had David not put a stop to it. Usually, the face the abuser shows his victim(s) is very different one from the one they show the world, and I didn't see that here.

The teenagers, aside from Ashley, reminded me of the movie freedom writers. Basically, they may seem bad, but at their hearts they're all perfectly lovely people who all find their way and learn to love each other. No flaw is left standing.

Then there's one thing that irked me about the therapist, then I promise the negativity will stop. After Ashley's suicide attempt, the therapist starts guilt tripping her and basically threatens her with commitment. That's not okay, and it's never addressed as such. You don't guilt trip an abuse survivor, because their guilt is already in overdrive and it might drive them to another suicide attempt. Instead he should have addressed her urge to hurt herself, at least attempt to teach her to deal with that. Come up with a crisis plan. And threatening someone with commitment to a mental hospital is never a good idea. Ideally you want a patient to come to you for help when they feel that bad. You want them to see commitment as something that can help them if they really need it. Not something that hangs over to their head if they aren't 'good'. I'm done now, I promise.

Even though there's a lot of room for improvement, I definitely recommend this book, if only for the fact that the effects of abuse are worked out so well. It had me glued to the pages, for the most part.

I was provided with a free copy of this book via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Janet · Rating 5 out of 5]

Talk about a hard book to review. As I sit at the keyboard I'm still trying to gather my facts. So let's start with the facts. This book was so well written. The characters, for the most part, were well developed. Even the ones that pulled from established stereotypes (Step-Dad comes to mind, and to some degree Mom as well) were pretty well developed as individuals. Ashley was so multi-layered and believable. So many times it's hard to find a character with her story that is written so believably. The P.T.S.D, the disassociation, the reactions are so in line with reality. Some additional backstory on Dad and Step-Mom would have been helpful and added to their dimension. However, without that it still works. And works well. The hard part, of the facts, for me was how many different issues arose in one short summer. I'm not saying it's not possible or even within the realm of reality in today's world. It was just hard to feel like each idea was able to be fully developed and handled with proper resolution.

The facts out of the way, it all worked. The characters worked, the diverging story-lines worked, even the slightly unbelievable parts just worked. There are so many trigger warnings in this book that I feel like that should be covered in the synopsis or back cover. Abuse (mental, sexual, and physical), racism, and violence. Outside of triggers there's also the idea of censorship and faith gone sideways. There's a LOT to wrap your head around. But even with all that it works, and flows, and grips you, and keeps you engaged and and and. So many more ands. Seriously, I read this book in less than 24 hours. I started it one evening and stayed up entirely too late reading it (thank goodness for weekends!) and jumped right back in the next morning. This story unfolds in so many different facets of life but mingles them together perfectly. Creating a space where unbelievable becomes believable. Outside maybe how quickly the F.B.I. was involved (bureaucracy and all). I have to address one thing that bothered me though. The churches mentioned in the book, the church leaders mentioned. There are two, not really developed but they set the idea that church and thereby faith are less than helpful and more likely hurtful. As a woman of faith I can understand how that sentiment can take hold but I also know that it's not always like that. The church were Mom and Step-Dad are supposedly involved in now feels like what I refer to as a Candyland church. More about the feels and the environment and the social than about the faith. The second church there in Patience feels more like a cult than a church. Neither truly represent my personal experiences with faith. Candyland churches are all the thing these days with their power points and coffee bars and themed teachings. Sorry, I need to get off this tangent. I see these churches, I see the hold and the belief set that are drawn to them and it hurts that in society (not necessarily this story) all churches are seen in this light. Soap box gone.

One more thing to nitpick. I promise I truly did love this book. This is listed as a young adult or teen book. It's so hard to weigh young adult literature on such a heavy subject. How do you reach all the audiences that could benefit from this book without also putting things before them that they aren't ready to deal with if they haven't encountered it in life already. Part of me feels like this book should be available in some way for all ages. Part of me feels like a younger teen, never having been exposed to these issues, would not benefit from this story. I'd like to say that parent's should be part of that decision but as we all know the kids that would most benefit from this book don't have exactly involved parents making appropriate decisions for their children lives. Based on the themes I wouldn't necessarily suggest this book as appropriate for under say 16 or 17. But then again there's a child out there that needs to know that they are enough and that there is hope and help who may not even been a technical teen yet.

I was provided the opportunity to read this book through NetGalley for review. I am not required to write a positive review and all thoughts and opinions expressed are my own.

Originally published at https://fizzypopcollection.blogspot.c....

[LG · Rating 2 out of 5]

I know that since this book is about sexual abuse and was written by someone who is out as a survivor, that we aren't supposed to criticize it. The almost total lack of one or two star reviews for a book with such obvious faults made that pretty clear. But I have enough respect for the author to be honest about my opinion of this book.

The author was trying to do something very admirable, write about the healing process from sexual abuse and tie in her personal experiences. It took guts and I appreciate that. But I wish she would have had better guidance when writing this. Honestly, as a write, abuse survivor and mental health therapist, I feel like she should have scrapped this draft and started over and challenged herself to have better character and plot development and to dig deeper into her own experiences so that it read as more authentic...and then I wish she would have found a competent editor.

As someone who has dealt with PTSD both personally and professionally, I felt like she skipped over a lot of things and the timeline for Ashley making progress in therapy was way, way off, and unrealistic--she formed a trusting relationship with her therapist and started improving and developing insight almost instantly.. really? That is not what happens.

The book was also very poorly edited, it switched from past tense to present tense for no apparent reason, which really took me out of the story and there were a lot of cliche descriptions. The character development was poor, and a lot of the dialogue sounded like the author was simply writing what she wished someone would have said to her and felt very scripted--again poor character development. A few times the plot and dialogue took on the tone of a public service announcement. Also switching to 3rd person narrator to make the whole Iron Man book fiasco part of the plot was just unnecessary. Why not keep it all from Ashley's perspective?

It had some good emotion and I appreciate that the story was influenced by the authors experience. But some of Ashley's break downs were unrealistic in how they occurred and how she recovered--basically going into psychosis,totally disassociating and hurting herself--then she would be fine and suddenly have insight into what triggered her... It just didn't feel authentic.

I think the author has potential, but for me this book feel short of the exceptions I developed reading other reviews. I still would really like to one day see a book about healing from trauma that is authentic, gritty, honest and doesn't shy away from the amount of time it takes.

[Brooke · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would give this book a 2.5/3. The topics are important, but I feel the author tried to tackle way too much in this one. The book featured voices from multiple characters but they switched mid-chapter and at points it was really hard to keep up with who was actually "talking". There were some really strong points, but ultimately I think it could use some more character development.

That said, I will give the second book in the series a chance, perhaps more will be unraveled in the next book.

[Dana Busenbark · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the first book of a young adult trilogy. We meet Ashley Asher right off the bat and find out what happened to her before she was even 15 years of age. We find out on the first page where the Patience Trilogy comes from and what Patience means in this case. This book seems to have a number of various topics that it covers from innocuous subjects such as High School, Track and Field, and the great state of Texas to covering things that may cause triggers for people that have experienced problems with relationships, sexual abuse, PTDS, etc. So be prepared to realize if you have any triggers before starting on this book. We meet Lisa Rayburn, a girl that Ashley goes to school with who has had the hots for a boy named Diego Reyes. When Ashley asks LIsa if she can stay at her house that night, what is Lisa's counter offer to that? What happens to Ashley that finally breaks the camel's back? What is that last straw? When Lisa finds out what Ashley has been going through, what does she do and who does Lisa tell Ashley that she needs to talk to? Who is Mrs. C? How does she know Ashley and Lisa? What does she do in response to what Lisa and Ashley tell her? Who is called? What happens while people are being investigated? What happens with regards to the investigation? Who is the quack (I use that term loosely) that would say that her mother and step-father are good parents for her to live with? While in Patience, she finds out Bev, her stepmother, is a teacher and will be teaching an English II class. She uses a book called Ironman. What is it about the book that she decides will be the right decision for use with this group of students? There is a lot of stuff going on in this book, and watching what the theme of Ironman is and watching how it translates to the lives of the students reading it and changes things in the story whether they realize it or not is neat to watch. I can appreciate the subject of this book, about how it is about survival, getting help, working to make a better life for yourself and moving forward. Good book. Cannot wait to read the next book.

RECEIVED THIS BOOK AS A GIFT FOR A FAIR/HONEST REVIEW and REVIEWER FOR Bloggin' With M.Brennan.

[Angie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not having heard of this series before I started with the first book in the series Courage in Patience therefore that is the book I am reviewing. I found the book considerably different than any other young adult books that I read before. Some people say young adult fiction is 12-20 years old, others say it is 15-20 years old, but this is a dark and troubling book and as an adult in my forties I found more parts than not difficult to read. Therefore, I think this book is appropriate for mature older teens and above. While reading, it surprised me at the number of disconcerting topics that the author covered from molestation, rape, gay bashing, mental abuse, to the KKK who are involved in severe beatings, pet poisoning plus other atrocities. Some of the previous things mentioned are written in graphic detail. Beth Fehlbaum is quite a bold author to take on such a slew of demanding topics in a young adult book although it is a bit overwhelming. As to the actual writing I did encounter grammatical and spelling mistakes.

“”Honey, our quiet little town has enough problems without bringing the homosexuals here. If they find out they’re welcome in the books our kids read, they’ll think they can just move in here and live among us, too!...””

Though the book consists of numerous tough topics the author did a favorable job of finding positive aspects to add to the prose. Such as, Fehlbaum does an excellent job of explaining P.T.S.D; even better than I have read some therapists describe it. My favorite part of the story is when an important character who followed others and did what he was told stood up for what he believed in and became his own person. Also, the main character with psychological help starts to make some progress in dealing with what happened to her. You should take a chance with this book and see if the positive aspects outweigh the negative for you. As for me, I am not sure yet if I will continue on with the series.

"Thank you to the author and Xpresso Book Tours for allowing me to give an honest review"

[Tonja Drecker · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a YA contemporary with bite, which reels in with a range of emotions and refuses to let go long after the last page is read.

Ashley has been mistreated sexually, mentally, and psychologically by her step-father since she was six years old while her mother sat by and ignored it all. Now, she's fifteen and dealing with the wounds alone until a best friend finally draws her out. Ashley moves to a small town in Texas and starts a new life with her real father.

This is a gut-wrenching story, which brings all the hopeless, trapped feelings to vivid life. But this story isn't about the abuse. It's about Ashley's road to healing. In the small town, Ashley finds courage, warmth, acceptance and support. The people around her are still realistic, but offer a wonderful cast which demonstrates the hope despite the scars which never really go away.

The author does a terrific job at bringing the right moments to light at the right times. To say that the reader feels for Ashley is an understatement. But the ray of light is what really makes this series special. No matter how dark and dismal things are, the unexpected aide and unexpected realization that Ashley doesn't have to go it alone is a message to be shouted out for many battles of life. The character development in this is amazing and inspiring at the same time.

Summed up: this is a read that requires a tissue box and a punching pillow. It's an inspiring read not only for teenagers but for adults as well.

[Mel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read through this book in two days, I could not put it down. This book is the story of a young girl/teenager who was abused by her stepfather and what happens when she moves in with her biological father and family. It covers lots of other topics from racism, homosexuality, abuse, the aftermath of what happens to a person after they have suffered abuse (mental health).....this book was one that touched home and I think it would be helpful to anyone who has suffered through abuse, discrimination, hate crimes, etc. The author wrote characters who you can relate to, even when at some points some of their personality traits may drive you nuts LOL. At some points Ashley can be very self centered and immature and other characters could have had more expansion on who they were in the past. This book makes you think, makes you feel their pain, makes you get caught up in what was happening and as I said I couldn't put it down. Overall I loved this book and am planning to look for the rest of the series to finish out what winds up happening to this young lady, her family, her friends and this town. It was also interesting to me and I thought it was wonderful that at the end of the book the author writes of her personal history and also includes places to contact if you are being abused. I won this book in a goodreads giveaway, thank you!

[Jessica Rickert · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an absolute heart wrenching book that hit close to home. I recently had the same thing happen to my two daughters as Ashley went through. I could not imagine ever feeling as abandoned as Ashley has. This is an absolute must read but have plenty of tissue on hand.

I won this book for free in the Good reads giveaways.

[John Clark · Rating 5 out of 5]

Terrific book, not only in how it carries the reader along as Ashley starts a long, painful, but important journey toward emotional health and self-love, but in how so many memorable characters are part of her trip. This is a very worthwhile story for libraries of all types to have where serving teens with major life issues is important.

[Tina Layner · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a very interesting book and I think if you start reading it, you will see what I mean.