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Slut!: Growing Up Female with a Bad Reputation

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Leora Tanenbaum's Slut! is a groundbreaking account of the lives of young women who stand up to the destructive power of namecalling, written by one of the rising young talents of journalism today. Slut! seamlessly weaves together three narrative threads: powerful oral histories of girls and women who tell us their stories and how they finally overcame sexual labeling, Leora's own story, and her cogent analysis of the underlying problem of sexual stereotyping.

288 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 1999

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About the author

Leora Tanenbaum

13 books37 followers
Leora Tanenbaum, author of six books, began researching and writing about slut-shaming before the term even existed. Her first book, Slut! is regarded as a significant contribution to feminist thought and the foundational text on slut-shaming. Called one of the 20 “must-read” books of all time for women, upon publication it shot up to become an Amazon Editor’s Choice book and an Amazon Top 10 Women’s Studies book.

I Am Not a Slut: Slut-Shaming in the Age of the Internet was the first book to analyze the proliferation of slut-shaming in the age of social media and digital culture. It was named one of 11 "groundbreaking books about women making history."

Currently, Tanenbaum is a frequent commentator for USA Today, where she discusses the gendered double standards faced by celebrities and non-celebs alike. She has written for The New York Times, Seventeen, Cosmopolitan, New York Daily News, The Nation, and U.S. News & World Report and has been a guest on Oprah, The Today Show, Nightline, Bill Maher, Fox News, MSNBC, and National Public Radio.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 101 reviews
Profile Image for Brandy.
Author 2 books131 followers
May 6, 2007
Less an "interesting look" and more a "cursory glance" at sexual harassment in schools. It includes some stories from women who were considered the school sluts and have gone on to become strong, independent women, who credit their high-school reputations with their self-assuredness now. Unfortunately, I doubt that's the case for most of the girls saddled with those reputations. Slut! doesn't really cover the main reasons this sort of thing happens, or even why, but it does break the girls into three categories: the promiscuous/sexual girl, the raped girl, and the outsider, and goes into some depth on each of those. An okay read, but if you're interested in the topic, try Fast Girls: Teenage Tribes and the Myth of the Slut [http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/10...] instead.

Aside: is there a single sociology book where the jacket copy doesn't describe the content as "A groundbreaking look at ______"?
Profile Image for Daniela.
12 reviews
October 22, 2008
While reading this book I learned a lot of things. The troubles many females go through in their teen years. People don't realize it, but an insult such as slut could live on a woman's life not only her teen years, but as an older woman as well. A point that author Laura Tanenbaum stated in which really caught my attention was when she stated, if a man were to be sexually active, positive expressions would be a stud, ladies' man, Romeo and the list goes on. For a negative expression, there's womanizer, or the quote, "Can't keep it in his pants." However, a positive expression for a sexually active woman are hot and sexy where as for a negative insult there's whore, tramp, hoochiemama, skank, and the list goeson. I enjoyed reading this book, however I would rate this book 4 stars out of 5 because Tanenbaum gives out a lot of information from different sources which at times could get a big confusing.
Profile Image for Sophia.
415 reviews2 followers
April 21, 2012
I really only made it to page 100... i can even tell you what line made me say "you know... i just cant read this anymore". But ill do it tomoroow, im tired tonight.

Continued.
The exact sentence that made me go "wow this is really bullshiit"... was "These girls unrealistic expectations of fusing love and sex led directly to profound unhappiness." Ok, i know she tries to balance it out in the next paragrapgh (because i just read it when i looked up the quote) rather poorly, but its her entire TONE. She might not come out and say it, and she might try to sound reasonable to please more people by trying to see both sides and cater to the less fanatical point of veiw at times... but the bottom line is that she's a feminist saying that because most men sleep around women should too. I completly agree that women are equal to men and black people and hispanic people and native american people and whoever else are all equal too. I think that there is a double standard and that its wrong, and we need to fix that, because ive always disagreed with that. In fact, I grew up believing that all men were exactly the same and crushing more on fictional characters than on real people because Disney princes are always nice people, they wait for the right girl, theyre humble and kind to other people and adventurous; characters in books are charismatic and witty... no one in real life was like that when i was growing up, people were mean and boring. So i really believed that all men were exactly the same, that they all slept around and only wanted sex, that all they were interested in was looks, and they all spend hours watching porn and staring at other girls in front of their girlfreinds- the same in THOSE aspects. I never had any positive male figures in my life and my childhood sucked, its understandable taht i would think that, especially since all my freinds who dated told me things like that. It wasnt until i was halfway through with high school that i realized that wasnt the case at all. There ARE nice men out there who hold the door open and dont later expect things from you, who buy you dinner and don't expect sex, who are waiting for the right girl and who don't want to sleep with everyone, who when in a real relationship don't want anyone else, who wants to get to know you before they even kiss you. Those people exist. In fact, i refuse to be friends with any men who ARN'T like that. (With one exception, for good reason).
This book takes on the assumption that all of us out there want sex because we're human, have all of these pent up desires that we are unable to release and face a lot of problems relating to sex and monogamous relationships arn't natural. Ok, whose to say whether monogamy is or is not normal, certain types of birds do it- penguins do it too, cuttlefish dont. Just like gay sex in the animal kingdom, you see it a lot in dolfins, but not in snakes. Humans are capable of making their own choices betwween things like whether or not to be monogamous, polyamorous, have multiple lovers, have gay sex, be vegitarian. I absolutly despise people who use "human nature" as an excuse. Period. Number 2: She makes it sound that all girls pretend to be absent of sexual desire to look decent and good and be wanted or refuse to acknowledge it because theyre afraid of it or because society tells them its bad. I think she knows nothing about sociology and shoudln't have even touched on taht subject because her lack of knowledge and understanding of more than one situation is just too apparent. I mean, she was thinking about the situation and she did come up with a reasonable reason why some people may feel taht way sometimes, but its only some people, its not everyone. Some people dont feel sexual desire at all, some people need to have the emotional peice there before they can think about sex, some people are afraid of getting an std, some are saving their first time for something more than just casual sex, or have boyfreinds who dont want to move too fast, some men are creepy and you dont want to have sex with them, teenage boys are stupid to begin with. Not everyone WANTS to experience sex in middle school or high school, some people just arnt emotionaly or psychologically ready... like people who have been raped. There was a story in there by a woman who said she had been molested as a child and attributed taht as part of her reason of being promiscuous... some people work the opposite way and are afraid of sex forever because of something taht happened in regards to bad sexual encounters. Some people out there ARNT SHALLOW!
That was the biggest problem i had with the book. The author worked at all these girly magazine places that condone being anorexic and likable and having casual sex just beacuse... it never once said she had a degree in fucking anything. She's shallow. Maybe im being judgmental... but she wrote a shallow book, therefore she is shallow. Having sex SHOULD be about more than just pleasure. You need it to feel good, you need to enjoy it, you need to have fun, you dont have to be married to the person your having it with... but it should be about more than just sex. It should be about love and understanding and opening yourself up to another person, even if youve just met them. I personally could never have sex with a stranger, but i think that sex period should be about emotions and connection. You should be able to do it wheneevr and with whomeevr you desire regardless of your gender race or religion. I do believe in polyamory for other people, if you can open yourself up to taht much love than i dont see a areason why you shouldnt if you want to. Love and sex are only bad when theyre hurtful in some way, when you have someone cheat on you, when you arnt hinest about your emotions and desires, when you make it something manipulative and hurtful... because they shoudlnt be about those things. She at one point even condones going after married men as long as the aim isnt to break up their marriage. But thats dishonest and despicable. Im not saying this because im jealous or hateful, im saying this because i think honesty and love are two of the most important things in the world. I know what its like to have a freinds boyfreind tell you he would rather be sleeping with you or that he likes you better, and i dont want to ruin other people's relationships, I feel very sorry for girls who date men like taht. You should be happy with the person youre with, and if you arnt happy than maybe you should consider a change. I think this shoudl be the standard people go by: love and acceptance, because its more enlightened. I think this standarrd should be applied evenly to men and women. I dont think enlightenment is about to sweep the nation, but we should still try to be loving, decent people who understand what others are going through. I do however feel like people who go out like the poeple in the book and just sleep with anybody just for pleasure are psychologically blocked, theyre searching for something and they arnt finding it, theyre troubled somehow or theyre shallow or theyre curious... maybe they think thats how theyre going to find the one, maybe theyre just sick of the double standard and want to show poeple taht its wrong, maybe theyve been influenced too long by tv telling them taht sex IS love and taht sex is the most important thing or thats how you keep a boyfreind or tahts how you fall in love. A lot of people think that they can make someone stay by havong sex with them, they can make them love them, maybe if they have a child, maybe if they try hard enough, and it just doesnt work taht way. I think if you want to go out and sleep with someone different 5 days out of the week you should be able to, if you dont want to have a relationship ever you should be able to, if you want to be gay you should be able to... just do what fucking makes you happy as long as it doesnt hurt anybody because EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT, in different situations and everyone wants different things and not everyone will like or agree with you or love you the way they should. And you just have to keep moving forward and try to be happy. Its more complicated than this shit.


(sidenote: i got a lot of shit growing up because i wasnt subscribing to the notion that casual sex is okay. I also agree that sex education needs to be better because everything i learned about sex i learned from books that i read on my own time... i didnt even know what masturbation was until i was 16 and i have neveer once done it and thats not because im brainwashed and puritanical... its because im sortof kindof semi demi-sexual or something along those lines.)

adendum: the solution to gender ineqeality is not to attempt to act the same as most men do in an effort to have them take you seriously. Just like the solution to racism wasnt for black people or native americans or immigrants to act more like rich, white americans. Its about changing the way society veiws and treats people who are different.
Also she never really talks about responsibilty. She mentions it once or twice in a comment tahts not really going anywhere... but you do need to have safe and responsible sex. And thats necessary of both parties. In that sexual education taht no one seems to get, they do teach you that std's can be transferred by more than just vaginal intercourse. If you sleep around without knowing the person at all the chance of you getting an std is wayyyyy higher, especially if you think stupid things like peeing after sex will prevent pregnancy or dont know anything about stds. Be safe.
Profile Image for Stephanie O’.
50 reviews2 followers
February 5, 2009
Hmmm, I have mixed feelings about this book. I liked all the personal stories and specific examples, but I really just felt the book was a sob story. I get that repercussions of being called a slut can be quite serious, and I have no doubt that it continues today, but the book never came up with any real solution. It didn't leave me feeling inspired to make a change or to really stand up and fight against the injustice that is a woman's sexuality. In fact, it made me feel the opposite, that there was no point to standing up and saying I shouldn't be treated like this because no one would believe me. Since that is what most of the stories relate, that is the overall message, 'assault happens and now you're branded for life by it.' I wish Tanenbaum had a better plan of action to change what is so prevalent in our society instead of over studying it.
Profile Image for Bethany Thomas.
61 reviews6 followers
August 25, 2021
The Author certainly made some very important points and I was careful to remember while reading that this book was written 21 years ago now however, I found it to be very redundant. By the end of the book the reader is bombarded with countless stories of women who have been raped. It is also very important to note that this was written far before trigger warnings and I found it to be very triggering.

Some pros: She addresses the still present sexism in society today and the sexual double standard that women face, she gives a voice to young women who have been sexually abused, and she challenges us as a society to look at sexuality in a new way (namely that women are also sexual beings.) I would be curious to see how this would be adapted for a modern audience and saddened to realize all the same issues remain.
Profile Image for Heather.
295 reviews22 followers
August 28, 2009
I had 3 problems with this book.

1. It outright says that males don't face similar ridicule or pressure. This is completely inaccurate. Sexuality is used against boys just as much as girls. Boys are called fags and sissies. Their masculinity is questioned and they are pressured to be promiscuous in order to have "status" in the social hierarchy. In one portion of the book the author discusses a study in which children are asked what they would think if their bodies were switched for that of the opposite sex. The boys were very distressed by this idea and said outlandish things like, "I would jump off a cliff or go bungee jumping without a bungee to get my boy-body back." The author claims this is even further proof that females are denigrated and looked down upon in our society. I think the author has completely missed the point here and misrepresented the boys' concern to prove her point. I think the boys' responses shows how the accusation of being girly or lacking masculinity is used to enforce male gender roles. And, the distress of the boys shows that the pressure they face is just as intense as the pressure girls face. Let's face it, gender roles exist for both sexes and the pressure to conform to them exists for both sexes.

2. The author seems to believe that males and females are exactly the same. I'm sorry, but this is just not the case no matter how many people wish it to be. Sexuality plays a different role in the female psyche than in the male psyche. Does culture and social expectation play a role in how girls view and handle sex? Of course. But it is the sole force? No. And I'd venture to say it's usually not the strongest, either. Females, by design (either by creation or evolution, pick your poison), are community focused / relationship building focused creatures. The book repeatedly brings up the fact that most teenage girls don't orgasm or find sex pleasurable. But, the author refuses to accept the connection that this is due to the nature of a woman's sexuality. Sure, the selfishness, immaturity, and ineptitude of their young lovers do play a role, as well. But again, it's not the only factor. Studies repeatedly bear out that females enjoy sex more in a committed relationship where they can build trust and let down their guard. The author's assertion that the solution to the problem is to encourage girls to handle sex the way boys do, to me, is specious.

3. The author whipped out biological explanations when it suited her argument but ignored them when they did not. The author bemoaned the popular media that young girls consume. She argues that this media is responsible for a young woman’s expectations and hopes for love and relationships. I contend that she has put the cart before the horse. I think one could easily argue that media consumed by young females is specifically crafted to appeal to her naturally occurring desires. Romance novels and chick-flicks don’t shape a female’s fantasies or expectations. The female fantasy and relationship expectation shape the content of romance novels and chick-flicks. Biology also explains why males behave the way they do. Evolutionary psychology and the biology of behavior offer very simple and clear explanations for the “slut” phenomenon. We are biological creatures. Mammals. Our bodies compel us to propagate our DNA. The female of our species bears the burden of rearing the children. So, she has the ingrained need to mate with a male who can provide. That need compels her to build a relationship so that she will have protection and help rearing her young. Thus, young women desire relationships. This need evolved into our need for love and romance. Males, on the other hand, are compelled to spread their seed as far as possible. They also have an ingrained imperative to make sure that his offspring are, in fact, his. It makes logical sense that a female who is openly sexual would create doubt in his mind as to the paternity of her progeny. Thus, he is likely to pursue sexually demure women. The less willing she is to sleep around, the more confident the male can be that she is bearing his young only. Knowing this, it would also make sense that the females of the “pack” would use sexual promiscuity as a tool in competition. “Pick me to bear your young! You can be sure of their paternity with me! But you cannot with her!” The author is free to reject these explanations. But it seems to me that it’s disingenuous to cherry pick biological ideas to suit your argument while ignoring the ones that don’t.

But, those problems aside, I did agree with several things posited by the author. I think that unhealthy attitudes about sex can really damage the psychological health and life satisfaction of any girl. Believing that good girls don’t like sex, or that sex is a carrot to dangle in the face of a suitor is damaging. So is telling a girl that she is bad or a slut for acting out on her natural and normal sexual desires. I also liked how the author explored the fact that "slut" is used against girls for reasons entirely unrelated to her actions. She might be envied. She might have developed earlier than others. She might be the victim of a sexual assault. "Slut" is most often used against girls by other girls in an attempt to maintain the social hierarchy in her peer community.

The afterward of this book is VERY good. It was added to the 2nd edition and addressed questions that she received after its first publication. The answers the author provides to those questions are great. I wish the rest of her book had been more like it.
Profile Image for Amanda Bivens.
226 reviews3 followers
November 3, 2020
2.5 This book still has worth as a historical text. The stories shared depict a specific time and place, as well as context for the larger cultural movements of the eras. The section on the 1950s was especially illuminating. Tanenbaum was really a pioneer in gender equality, her assertion that teen girls have a role in sexual development and experimentation is something we have yet to recon with.

However, all the essays seemed to present a narrative that ‘sluts’ would eventually find their way. That they were just precious youngsters, who developed early and were treated badly. It felt a little contrived and as if any stories from women who were traumatized by the abuse they suffered were intentionally left out because it didn’t fit the narrative of a ‘slut’ who used the experience to access success.
Profile Image for Kiwi.
241 reviews23 followers
January 16, 2009
Snoopy handed me this book to read. I'm very glad she did.

Reading this book alerted me to some high school aspects that had gone reasonably beyond my observance. I was pinned a "prude"--a gay prude, which somehow confused people more, but one nonetheless. I did not experience the bad reputation of being pegged for a "slut" for sexual acts OR just being a freak. (Rather than girls calling me a slut just to encompass my not fitting in, they went along to say I was just a strange freak. I appreciate that they did not connect it with my sexuality, although they did with my orientation.)

My "nemesis" in high school was one of the so-called sluts. Did I view her as a slut? Well, I'm not sure I believe in sluts. I don't know if I believe in the term at all. I don't think I did. But even my nemesis did not sleep around. I always knew her to be in reasonably long monogamous relationships if she reported any sexual intimacies. I don't believe that even makes her particularly any Better than one who would enter those encounters without the history of a monogamous relationship--I think the three C's apply here: Consent, Communication, and Compassion. If the three are present, what's the problem?

I think the problem is the label and how easily it is thrown around. This book did open my eyes to when the term "slut" is applied, why, how inadequate the term itself is and the array of responses that tend to stem from a girl who has been dubbed a Slut.

In the dining hall my friend looked at the book and said, "Slut!? Is that a book about sluts?" and I was speechless. (I'm not often speechless.) I didn't know what to say. No, it's not about sluts--because, to me, there is no such thing as a slut. It is about people who have been called them by others in less-than-kind environments. However, I knew this friend of mine to be one of the girls who would quickly call another a "slag," one of the British equivalents of a slut. She was so afraid of herself being considered a slag that she was quick to jump someone else who might be called one--for sleeping with someone before a relationship, or for not entering the relationship at all or perhaps for having multiple partners.

Instead I sighed and said, "No, it's not about sluts; but since I know you like calling people slags, I would prefer not to talk about it at present." We decided it was best, as we stood in line in the queue for tea (already cranky given the food leaves much to be desired), that we would save the conversation for another time when we were less likely to grow angered. It makes me sign to know I have already had many conversations of the sort with this friend but she seldom seems to remember them.

I am glad to have this knowledge. I think it's useful for students, teachers and those already gone from school. It can provide extra understanding fro the school environment and even clarify some memories of old school times. It is also a guide for future life, for the "slut" label does not end with leaving education. The ideas are good ones to keep in mind.
Profile Image for Sarah.
190 reviews9 followers
December 20, 2011
I think this is an important book. At least, the subject matter certainly is, and I've yet to read another book that discusses it so well, though I've heard good things about Reviving Ophelia. The author manages to present the facts and psychological impact of the issue on both boys and girls, and remains fairly objective. Though it occasionally comes across that she's advocating sexual promiscuity, I think that those who believe that's actually what she's advocating are missing the point: Tanenbaum's point is that there is a double standard about sex in this country, and we need to stop it. She doesn't discuss why this double standard exists, precisely, or how it's propagated. However, she explains that it exists, how it's implemented, and puts forth her opinion, I.E. that it's wrong. Though this book is ten years old, it's still relevant. However, I'd like to see an updated version that discusses the recent clothing marked toward children and worn on children's dolls (e.g. Bratz), and how it promotes early sexuality in girls, something about the popularity of the Disney Princess and fairies, and other recent trends. I think that this book could use an update in those areas and that it would help expand the argument. In the meantime, I think I'll read Cinderella Ate My Daughter and Reviving Ophelia and see if that expands matters some. I do believe that anyone studying YA lit should read this book-- many things make sense in YA, after you've read it, especially if-- like me-- you didn't attend a normal high school.
Profile Image for Su.
303 reviews23 followers
February 25, 2014
Slut! was a pretty good book. I found it to be extremely repetitive and narrow in its treatment of "slut-bashing" or as we more commonly refer to it today "slut-shaming", but it did offer many good insights into the culture that informs the practice - particularly from an American perspective.

That being said, I would like to note that part of my reason for not "loving" it is due to the edition I have. I'm not sure if an updated edition of Slut! has been released, but the copy I own is from its original publishing in 2000, and much has changed in the 14 years since that publication. Furthermore, the work is quiet obviously written from a white American experience and most girls and women of color presented in this piece are almost all no different from their white counterparts except that they are not racially white - which is very different from most girls/women of color's life experience. Tanebaum also did little to give credit to the males who exist alongside girls and women who face or are in danger of slut-shaming. While she acknowledged that "good guys" do exist, she regularly reinforced the predatory and violent images of young males in a way that I felt almost makes girls want to hate and distrust all boys on general principle. But these shortcoming are, probably, largely due to the time in which the book was published and the limited resources the Tanebaum may have had access to.

Overall I would say that Slut! was a good, engaging read that I did learn from.
265 reviews1 follower
July 25, 2010
This book covered a lot of ground in not a lot of pages, and the author was able to bring most of it together using some really interesting and insightful analysis. She has some excellent ideas for the motivation behind girl-on-girl sexual harassment -- competition arising from a sex-wide society-imposed inferiority complex -- and the word "slut" as a catch-all phrase to enhance the divide between "good girls" and "bad girls." Her discussion of slut-shaming as a false deterrent from "promiscuous" behavior is also very compelling, in that a girl who is labeled a "slut" even when she isn't sexually active is very likely to start becoming sexually active in order to live up to her label. She also includes thoughtful discussion on rape, male entitlement, and abstinence-only education which goes to further prove her point. I found some of the anecdotes to be less-than-compelling, and some of the points she makes I found to be very obvious, but it doesn't detract from the power of the overall message of the book: both men and women are sexual beings, and to expect a woman to be modest and reserved in her sexuality while patting a "stud" on the back is an unfair double standard. And despite our collective improvements in this area, the double standard still very much exists -- in everywhere from the movie theater to high school hallways.
Profile Image for Erin.
1,921 reviews1 follower
June 16, 2008
Wow- two bad books in a row! This book was so bad that it was funny. The author, Leora Tanenbaum is a perfect example of an ugly girl who hates society because she never fit in. She champions abortion as a form of birth control and seems the type to cheer a Girls Gone Wild commercial instead of understanding just how bad an influence that type of trash is. She mistakes promiscuity for equality and thinks that in order to be equal, women must lower their morals & values to that of basest men. Her so-called personal stories from "poor, slut-bashed" girls are obviously made up. Another typical liberal trying to make people who behave badly seem like victims. This author should read Christina Hoff Sommers so that she can understand just how made-up her whole premise is. Poorly written by a sad individual.
Profile Image for Amalia Acorda-fey.
13 reviews
March 19, 2008
This was a good book. I of course was initially attracted to this book because of the title, but as i read on it gave great insight into the real happenings of slut-bashing. I bet you all can figure out what slut-bashing is, and i wonder if you realize that i happens in women of all ages, not just junior high/high school. The author shared many stories of girls and women that were labeled sluts themselves, and how they either prevailed and left high school with dignity, and also how many girls were traumatized but have now regained their self confidence and have moved on to help other girls.
I would recomend this to all females, because i bet if you read it you will realize how your own behavior and words can affect someone, and what people really say when they call someone a slut.
Profile Image for Jules.
170 reviews4 followers
March 10, 2008
What a great idea for a book. The author solicited women through the newspaper to tell their stories of being the "slut" of their highschool. Its amazing how many women felt exactly the same, how they had to deal with the same bizarre stories of gangbanging the football team and hotdogs and every other gross thing girls and boys say about their highschool "slut". And sadly, many of them still deal with the damage that did to their self-esteem.
Profile Image for Jennifer.
395 reviews71 followers
October 6, 2014
C'est un livre dont j'ai beaucoup apprécié la diversité des expériences de vie relatées dans les témoignages et qui est venu me chercher à plusieurs niveaux. L'analyse était plus que pertinente et toujours d'actualité.

Or, le contenu était très redondant et j'ai fini par perdre l'intérêt. Dommage car cette formule de livre et son thème sont clairement un must.
Profile Image for Hay.
190 reviews4 followers
August 12, 2017
It's taken me a bit to read this. To be fair, it's a bit dry and I picked it up and put it down multiple times so I still have mixed feelings about it.

When I began the book, I remember feeling gung-ho to read about the moniker, "slut", and its implications. The book actually had me for a bit with me contributing an understanding nod as I read through the chapters.

But then I noticed something near the middle to end of the book: it mainly revolved around women's tales in school and (in my opinion) barely scratched the surface of what happens beyond the walls of education. It was also a little exhausting to read the same features in each chapter: went to school, my body looked a bit different/I acted differently, girls/boys called me a slut, I participated in dangerous behavior, it was shitty, I'm an adult now - lather, rinse, repeat. I feel like the book could've benefitted from having perspectives more so in the college and workplace area (I'm not talking big companies, I'm talking first jobs in/out of college).

I was especially annoyed at the author's commentary near the end of the book with what seemed to be a condescending tone for girls who took action against their schools for harassment and were awarded money (literally with "Well, I didn't sue..."). That's great, but these women dealt with harassment and got shit done. So what if they were awarded money for it. The lines between dangerous sexist behavior and sexual harassment blur so quick, who are you to judge if it's your definition of sexual harassment? If you didn't feel in danger/hurt then great, Leora - but not every woman feels the same way.
Profile Image for Laura.
576 reviews1 follower
January 19, 2025
I liked this book and found it informative and in moments it challenged my own beliefs and perspectives. The author explains the history of the word slut and how it has morphed and changed throughout the ages and how it denies female sexuality. She also has real life stories of young women in elementary, high school and college, share their experiences of being called a slut. This was a good learning experience for me because you can hear the pain and anguish in the stories these women were able to share. It was also interesting to not that females were more likely to run riot with gossiping and calling girls sluts than males, however males were quick to take advantage of females who were called slut, up to and including rape.
It also shows the age old double standard between male and female sexuality and how far females are repressed in their sexuality. It's ok for the boys to run around and have sex but for girls they are sluts. This frustrates me so much. Then to hear on top of it all that when these types of issues are brought to the attention of school authorities they dismiss it and end up blaming the females for 'their part' in the situation.
There is so much more I could say in regards to this book but I won't. I think this is good reading for anyone and I hope that others learn from this book as I did.
Profile Image for Sabrina.
1,256 reviews2 followers
December 9, 2020
This book is about the double standard when it comes to sex between boys and girls. It also talks bout the harm that slut-bashing and other name calling does to teenage girls as well as the idea behind that label and that it is rarely the truth. Many things contribute to the behavior of name calling and it is more often girls than guys who do the most damage. This brings to the forefront the lack of action from teachers, administration, and parents to educate and reprimand (when needed) the student's behavior. I found the information very interesting and realized my own hypocrisy in my own thoughts. I think this is something that does need to be addressed and changed. We really need to stop punishing girls for the same curiosity and behavior as boys.
Profile Image for Erin Bossk (Kross).
124 reviews2 followers
May 9, 2019
A good, interesting read, though a little out of date. This book was written around 2000 and before the term “slut-shame” came in to common parlance. As a result, the author uses the term “slut-bashing.” I appreciated that the book included ideas for what to do if you or someone you know is being sexually harassed/slut-shamed, but most of the focus was on girls and women in school.
Clearly well-researched with poignant personal stories to support her views.
Profile Image for Michaela Greeley.
39 reviews5 followers
June 20, 2017
This was extremely informative. I had no idea that this kind of shaming goes on starting at a very young age. (I wonder if America is the only place this happens.) I grew up in foreign countries so I was spared the "American high school experience," but jeez! It's so sad.
Profile Image for Key.
114 reviews
January 9, 2021
1. Female author with experience with the subject matter she wrote about
2. Great specific examples of the point she is trying to get across.
3. Title is bold but deceiving but works with the subject matter of the book.
4. Would recommend to a young adult reader.
43 reviews1 follower
May 16, 2021
Such an excellent book - should be on curriculum for yound adolescents
Speaks of an area of cultural violence which is poorly articulated by others
Life changing
Potentially society-changing (or is that in my dreams?)
Profile Image for Virginia Rand.
332 reviews25 followers
May 23, 2017
I found this book a bit hard to read, because of the things it talked about, but it's a really good book about a really important topic.
1 review
Want to read
December 24, 2022
just
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Natasha Leite.
84 reviews
July 4, 2025
Great book about the challenges of being a girl or young women in a patriarchal society, but it was put through a very Americanised lens. I would probably give a higher score if I was American.
Profile Image for Fran Durbey.
135 reviews
August 23, 2025
This book is a powerful, honest, and thought-provoking read. It tackles how damaging labels can be for young women and shows the long-lasting impact of a “bad reputation". I’d recommend it to.
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