Girl on the Net: How a bad girl fell in love

by Girl on the Net

From the UK's smartest and most controversial sex blogger comes a unique story of ordinary love and incredible sex - and what happened when they came together. This is Girl on the Net's true story - of falling in love and falling apart. From the honeymoon days of sex whenever and wherever, to the everyday issues that comes with a solid relationship. This is more than a memoir, this is a must-read for all of us who have ever wondered...can great sex and real love ever go hand in hand?

Genres: Nonfiction, Sexuality, Relationships, Memoir

336 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 10, 2016

Reviews

[Alex Sarll]

Where her previous book was more what you'd expect from a sex blogger, this one sees GotN wrestling with thornier topics than, well, 'unprofessional wrestling'. Like a society which is happy to sexualise women, but still taken aback at them liking sex. Like the mess which fallible humans get into once they embark on relationships with other fallible humans, where they'd quite like to be free-roaming themselves but get painfully jealous if their partner does likewise, and the awkward accommodations which result. And the times when libidos hit blips, and the times when you realise you're offering exactly the sort of one-size-fits-all advice you hate, and the times you regret a thoughtless comment which might once have been a thing of the moment but is now in aspic and ready to be judged on the Internet forever more. And then the less universal but still very sympathetic tangles: being an apparently tell-all sex blogger who can't admit she's lost her mojo*, a body-positive feminist who hates every inch of her own. True, on one level you could say this is just someone massively overthinking everyday situations - but then so was Montaigne. People massively overthinking everyday situations can be a right bugger for the people in question, but so long as they're interesting writers it can equally make for fascinating reading. OK, this may not be quite on Montaigne's level but a) who is? and b) in amongst the knotty questions, there is significantly more spunk in this one than his essays. Ultimately it all comes together as an anxious, flawed modern romance. Which is all the more heartwarming for being so much closer to common lived experience than the ridiculous, perfect, fragile rom-com template.

*Though this section didn't come as a complete surprise; there was definitely a time a year or so back when I fell away from the blog precisely because it somehow felt like it wasn't coming so naturally (pun semi**-intended).

**Yes, I know, 'semi'.

[Aurora Glory · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's not just her incredible writing that left me unable to put this down, but her attitude too. I love how wonderfully she articulates things I can't even put into words, and always in a way that leaves me smiling. She perfectly captures the rawness of sex that makes me love it so much. Although our lives are so different, she makes me feel like she gets me. It seems like Gotn just 'gets' people. Whilst her first book had me reaching for my bedside stash of lube and electronics, this one gave me more of an emotional response. It made me think, nod along, feel sad and laugh out loud (sometimes all at the same time). It also still made me want to wank a bit. I don't usually read books like this one, but did find her writing somewhat similar to Caitlin Moran, although better. This book is raw, honest and addictive. I really hope it won't be her last!

[Zoe · Rating 4 out of 5]

95% of this book was GOTN's graphic sex experiences - admittedly, not usually my cup of tea. BUT - the way in which she writes is absolutely spot on - I kind of want to be her friend. Quick, addictive and fun with a realness to it that I respect and admire. I'd love to read more from her that isn't necessarily referencing sex. She's a fantastic writer.

[Sarah]

This was okay, nothing bad about the writing or content really, it was just a case of it not appealing to me personally. This is for a number of reasons that I won't go into here. I decided it was safer to mark it as DNF and not rate it rather than risk a lower rating down the line. Also, I didn't feel I could rate it based on the fifty or so pages I read.

Girl on the Net is basically just talking about sex and falling in love, and recounting her own experiences, both past and present. The writing is fine, and I appreciate her honesty in talking about such things, but I just didn't feel engaged while I was reading it. The chapters take titles of articles on the subject such as 'What is love? Five Theories on the Greatest Emotion of All', which was taken from a Guardian article. Instead of discussing the article, though, she takes the topic and recounts her own experiences. So the first chapter talks about her partner, and contrasts this with her previous experiences of being single and casual dating.

[Gemma · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very frank, open and revealing account of an anonymous sex blogger's experiences of falling in love and relationships. I really appreciated the author's honesty about their struggles with adapting to a committed and settled relationship after enjoying a varied and wild sex life for a number of years. I also thought that the descriptions of her mental health issues were handled very well and with a relatable approach.
There were moments where I thought the story could have been structured a bit better as the timeline jumps around a bit with memories, musings and things happening in the "now", but I guess that is to be expected for a book about someone's life and experiences. A very interesting and engaging insight.

[Tim Atkinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love is not a noun

This isn’t your average romance But it’s a romance nevertheless. And not quite as dirty, either, as the first ‘Girl on the Net’. But every bit as witty, clever, honest and just, plain good. It’s good to know things work in different ways, people can do different things and lives can be an unconventional success. It’s also good to share the darkness, doubts and disagreements just to prove that what GotN says is true: love, whatever it is, isn’t a noun, it’s a verb.

[Sharna Allsopp · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not one for the prude hearted!
However thoroughly enjoyed reading this, she talks about relatable issues in life and relationships with the access humour!

[Kilted Wookie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having read, and thoroughly enjoyed her first book: “Not-So-Shameful Sex Secrets” I was looking forward to the release of “How a bad girl fell in love“. While I will be the first to admit that it wasn’t quite the book I was expecting (based on the first), I was not disappointed.

Where the first book concentrates on sexual journey of an adolescent girl through to young woman, along with the guys (and girls) she "met" along the way, this book is an entirely different beast. Yes, there is still a fair bit of sex, ably supported with bouts of drunkenness and language that would make a sailor blush; this book is much more about “Sarah”, the woman behind the Girl on The Net.

It’s about her life, her love, her hopes, her fears. It tackles, in her own inimitable way, her battles with her demons; demons which those of us who have read the first book and followed her blog were, perhaps, blissfully unaware.

The book allows us to connect with “Sarah” and share her pains and fears and overwhelming anxieties. It shows us that, behind the façade of the opinionated blogger, there is a real woman with her own everyday life and the inevitable problems of simply being human that go with it.

But then, being GoTN, even when she writes about her darkest fears, her humour still shines through. Turning a page frequently took me from side-splitting laughter to, quite literally, tears of compassion and/or empathy. As someone who has, quite openly, battled my own mental health demons, I can only imagine how hard some of those pages were to write.

So, overall verdict: well, apart from being torn between the frequent urges to hug her into submission (despite her not being a fan of cuddling), or wishing we could get drunk together, putting the world to rights and talking shit to each other until the wee hours, this was a very engaging, at times thought provoking, but highly enjoyable read.

Most of all, I just really want to thank GoTN for sharing this very personal story.

[Andy Haigh · Rating 5 out of 5]

As much as this book is about the up and downs of a relationship and the sex that comes with it, it’s also about how utterly stomach churning, infuriating and anxiety ridden life gets and how sometimes you really can’t see the wood for the trees. Above all though, especially for something in which the names have been changed, it’s refreshingly honest, even brutally so in places, and it’s all the more endearing for it.

[Alanis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Although this book didn't really have a beginning -middle -end sort of story, what I particularly liked about it was it really described what love is. It's not big gestures of love, its the choice you make everyday to stay with somebody despite their being other choices. I thought this was really beautiful and I really related to it in a lot of ways. Though, I don't recommend that you read it if you are under 18 due to some of the content.

[Claire · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is part-memoir, part-love story, and part-feminist rant and it's really good. GotN's furiously honest style of writing is one of the reasons I adore her blog and it makes for an excellent book as she explores what exactly makes relationships work. Her unflinching exploration of anxiety, infidelity and choosing whether or not to have children spoke to me on so many levels.

[K L TOTTLE · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brutally honest and funny.

I loved this book, but then I also love sex, feminism and pizza!
Funny, open and endearingly hapless. Discussing love, life and how to do it properly...or just winging it!!

[Elizabeth Stevens · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unputdownable

It has a 5 star rating because it deserves it! I read this book in two days, it is wonderful. The relationship between Sarah and Mark is beautiful, funny and real. I laughed out loud and cried! Go read it....

[Racquel]

meh