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Choosing You: Deciding to Have a Baby on My Own
Choosing You is the deeply honest memoir of one woman's decision to brave pregnancy and motherhood alone.
All her adult life, Alexandra Soiseth has wanted a husband, children, dogs and cats -- a busy, loving, home. But at thirty-nine, with no husband on the horizon, she decides to take matters into her own hands.
She googles for sperm.
Choosing You is Alexandra's memoir. With humor and heart, she shares the often gut-wrenching reality she faces in having a baby on her a mother and father who disapprove, friends who think she's crazy, a society that thinks she's selfish. But it is her struggle with weight and self image, possible infertility, and the terror of bringing a child into this world without a father that almost stops her from getting what she wants most -- a family.
Alexandra's story shows us all that with a little guts, a lot of love, and the internet, almost anything is possible.
All her adult life, Alexandra Soiseth has wanted a husband, children, dogs and cats -- a busy, loving, home. But at thirty-nine, with no husband on the horizon, she decides to take matters into her own hands.
She googles for sperm.
Choosing You is Alexandra's memoir. With humor and heart, she shares the often gut-wrenching reality she faces in having a baby on her a mother and father who disapprove, friends who think she's crazy, a society that thinks she's selfish. But it is her struggle with weight and self image, possible infertility, and the terror of bringing a child into this world without a father that almost stops her from getting what she wants most -- a family.
Alexandra's story shows us all that with a little guts, a lot of love, and the internet, almost anything is possible.
250 pages, Paperback
First published April 28, 2008
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35 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
January 20, 2019
The book is boring. A woman often complaining about her weight, and in some few cases happy about her weight, got heavier again and then whining about it.
Before the pregnancy, the author talks about this little wine she likes, the thought if she would recover her weight after the baby is born, being jealous of this friend and her family, and shallow things instead of really focusing on the challenge ahead of being a mother, getting an optimal health and mind for the pregnancy and looking up into parenting styles and baby stuff.
Only in the few last chapters she talks about the challenges she is confronted as a single mother when her baby is born.
I didn't like it. At all.
Before the pregnancy, the author talks about this little wine she likes, the thought if she would recover her weight after the baby is born, being jealous of this friend and her family, and shallow things instead of really focusing on the challenge ahead of being a mother, getting an optimal health and mind for the pregnancy and looking up into parenting styles and baby stuff.
Only in the few last chapters she talks about the challenges she is confronted as a single mother when her baby is born.
I didn't like it. At all.
June 8, 2024
This is about her journey to having a baby on her own, but it is also about her battle with her weight and a bit with her mental health.
February 14, 2012
This is part of my desire to read memoirs written by women who chose to be single moms. It's a very fast read; I read it in two sittings.
I can never help but to compare these women's stories to my own, and not in a who-is-better kind of way, but in the manner of discovering the differences between what on the surface seem like similar stories. Both books that I've read (this one and the Mary Pols one) have a similarity to each other and a difference to my situation. In both books, the single moms have a lot more financial resources than I have, and yet in both cases the women are less happy than I am. I wonder if that means I'm going to be miserable once the baby is born, or if my lower cost of living is going to eliminate certain stresses. Most likely both.
Soiseth's story is also different than mine in that she opted for a sperm bank, which isn't what I did. It's interesting to read about because of how Soiseth says she personified the anonymous donor, even putting the cooler containing his sperm onto the kitchen table so she could have conversations with him over dinner. It also raised the interesting concern about heritage; Soiseth orders sperm from her family's native country of Denmark so she can have a baby that might more closely resemble her own family.
A lot of this book is about Soiseth's body image issues and her life-long struggles with weight. In fact, I'd say that nearly as much time is spent on body image as about becoming a mother.
Recommended if you can hear the biological time clock.
I can never help but to compare these women's stories to my own, and not in a who-is-better kind of way, but in the manner of discovering the differences between what on the surface seem like similar stories. Both books that I've read (this one and the Mary Pols one) have a similarity to each other and a difference to my situation. In both books, the single moms have a lot more financial resources than I have, and yet in both cases the women are less happy than I am. I wonder if that means I'm going to be miserable once the baby is born, or if my lower cost of living is going to eliminate certain stresses. Most likely both.
Soiseth's story is also different than mine in that she opted for a sperm bank, which isn't what I did. It's interesting to read about because of how Soiseth says she personified the anonymous donor, even putting the cooler containing his sperm onto the kitchen table so she could have conversations with him over dinner. It also raised the interesting concern about heritage; Soiseth orders sperm from her family's native country of Denmark so she can have a baby that might more closely resemble her own family.
A lot of this book is about Soiseth's body image issues and her life-long struggles with weight. In fact, I'd say that nearly as much time is spent on body image as about becoming a mother.
Recommended if you can hear the biological time clock.
August 8, 2010
I'm about a third of the way through this book and so far I love it. It's a thoughtful, honest look at one 39-year old woman's decision to have a child on her own. Plus she happens to be a writer so it's engagingly and creatively written.
****
So now I've finished and I recommend this memoir. It's unflinchingly honest and I'm glad I've read it for if I ever were to have a child on my own or know anyone else who did.
****
So now I've finished and I recommend this memoir. It's unflinchingly honest and I'm glad I've read it for if I ever were to have a child on my own or know anyone else who did.
May 19, 2009
Breathtakingly lyrical and direct, this is a brave memoir. Not just about having a baby, this is story about one woman's struggle to overcome childhood trauma and go after her dreams. Alexandra is also a gifted fiction writer and teacher. Go, Alex!
March 8, 2012
I pretty much just skimmed this. I really couldn't stomach all the talk about her obesity issues, mania and self-loathing. I suppose it would be good for someone going through postpartum depression to know they are not alone, but for me it was barely tolerable.
May 7, 2012
If you are looking for a great Mother's Day present and/or a fantastic read, check out Choosing You.
It's funny, and warm, and honest. You won't stop thinking about it. This is my second read of it. I just love it.
It's funny, and warm, and honest. You won't stop thinking about it. This is my second read of it. I just love it.
February 25, 2016
I wanted to like this book more than I did. I like that she made that choice to have a baby on her own...that was really empowering to read about but she comes off in a whiny tone that just made it hard to read in general.
November 25, 2008
I appreciated the frankness and humor of the author's very personal account of the difficult decision to become a single parent.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews