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Is Daddy Coming Back in a Minute?: Explaining (sudden) death in words very young children can understand
When we were on a No Girls Allowed! holiday, my daddy's heart stopped beating and I had to find help all by myself. He was very badly broken. Not even the ambulance people could help him...
This honest, sensitive and beautifully illustrated picture book is designed to help explain the concept of death to children aged 3+. Written in Alex's own words, it is based on the real-life conversations that Elke Barber had with her then three-year-old son, Alex, after the sudden death of his father. The book provides reassurance and understanding to readers through clear and honest answers to the difficult questions that can follow the death of a loved one, and carries the invaluable message that it is okay to be sad, but it is okay to be happy, too.
This honest, sensitive and beautifully illustrated picture book is designed to help explain the concept of death to children aged 3+. Written in Alex's own words, it is based on the real-life conversations that Elke Barber had with her then three-year-old son, Alex, after the sudden death of his father. The book provides reassurance and understanding to readers through clear and honest answers to the difficult questions that can follow the death of a loved one, and carries the invaluable message that it is okay to be sad, but it is okay to be happy, too.
40 pages, Hardcover
First published October 31, 2012
95 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 52 reviews
April 19, 2016
Although the subheading on the cover of 'Is Daddy Coming Back...' defines it as a book that explains sudden death to pre-school children 'in words they can understand', I think the book is selling itself short. It is a story, in fact, for almost any child who has lost a parent/member of the family and it is a wholly remarkable because rather than being a fictional story it is, in fact a recount of the events written and told by both Alex, who is three, and his mother.
We find that Alex's father suffered from a massive heart attack when he and his son were out on a boy's weekend together. Here, Anna's watercolour images show the close bond that Alex has with his father and together, at the start, they share the page and frame as Alex recalls the fond memories at the start of the holiday with his dad.
I found the page when Alex goes in search of help for his father deeply upsetting, not only because of the responsibility put upon someone so young but Anna's thick, hard little arrows showing the mixed route that Alex takes around the site showed the innocence with which he understood the burden and sense of urgency he had been placed upon him. This occurs again when his father is taken into the ambulance and Alex finds his mother at the site. Alex shouts: 'Oi! No girls allowed.' which continues to show how little really understands what has happened. For me, this was incredibly powerful and helpful to other readers. It is completely understandable that a very young child will have little grasp of what is happening around them so to see this mirrored in Alex's own story could offer a great sense of relief for the reader.
When mummy arrives she brings with her a sense of calm and order in both image and text. Her explanation to Alex of what has happened to her husband is deeply welcoming to me and an approach that I would share with my own boys when they enquire about death: 'Daddy's heart has stopped beating and he is never coming back.'
The finality in this statement and, for me, it highlights how much Elke cares for, respects and loves her son. She is brave in sharing the truth with him and even though it clearly upsets her deeply, she sticks to this statement and keeps to the facts as honestly as she can. There is no 'he's gone away' or 'he's gone to heaven' - terms that would be incredibly confusing to any young child. Instead she states: 'Daddy can't use his body any more, and he is never coming back.' The repetition of 'never' makes it clear that this is a statement that she deeply wants her son to understand and, although some adult readers might find this uncomfortable, it is, importantly, open and honest.
To support the understanding of the loss of the father, the narrative device of making key words and phrases larger and bolder is used: 'It is NOT YOUR FAULT' and ' I am VERY proud of you' offer readers the chance to believe that they are guiltless of blame. I imagine that these scenes would offer a powerful outlet for both parent and child reader as they tackle the deep confusion and sense of blame that we can put upon ourselves when facing the loss of someone that we love very deeply.
But this is not a book that ends on a sad note, instead for the latter half of the story, it explores Alex's family's life after the death. Here we get to see Alex's family start a new chapter in their life, where Alex is allowed to ask questions about death with ease wherever he is - whether on the beach or at home. The final page may show Alex alone on the verso whilst his mother and sister sit together reading, but he is happy and comfortable in his surroundings.
He tells the reader that his mother says that it is okay to be sad and that, equally, it is okay to be happy too. What is important is that he should always feel that he can talk about his father whenever he wants to those who know him so that he can continue to understand what is, a profoundly emotional chapter in his own story.
I have read a lot of books recently that deal with the loss of a parent Missing Mommy: A Book About Bereavement and My Father's Arms Are a Boat but there is something real and deeply visceral about Alex's story. Knowing that the book is a retelling from Alex's point of view, as a parent, makes it a emotionally upsetting read, but I imagine it would give a great comfort to the child reader (and anyone who is supporting that child).
We find that Alex's father suffered from a massive heart attack when he and his son were out on a boy's weekend together. Here, Anna's watercolour images show the close bond that Alex has with his father and together, at the start, they share the page and frame as Alex recalls the fond memories at the start of the holiday with his dad.
I found the page when Alex goes in search of help for his father deeply upsetting, not only because of the responsibility put upon someone so young but Anna's thick, hard little arrows showing the mixed route that Alex takes around the site showed the innocence with which he understood the burden and sense of urgency he had been placed upon him. This occurs again when his father is taken into the ambulance and Alex finds his mother at the site. Alex shouts: 'Oi! No girls allowed.' which continues to show how little really understands what has happened. For me, this was incredibly powerful and helpful to other readers. It is completely understandable that a very young child will have little grasp of what is happening around them so to see this mirrored in Alex's own story could offer a great sense of relief for the reader.
When mummy arrives she brings with her a sense of calm and order in both image and text. Her explanation to Alex of what has happened to her husband is deeply welcoming to me and an approach that I would share with my own boys when they enquire about death: 'Daddy's heart has stopped beating and he is never coming back.'
The finality in this statement and, for me, it highlights how much Elke cares for, respects and loves her son. She is brave in sharing the truth with him and even though it clearly upsets her deeply, she sticks to this statement and keeps to the facts as honestly as she can. There is no 'he's gone away' or 'he's gone to heaven' - terms that would be incredibly confusing to any young child. Instead she states: 'Daddy can't use his body any more, and he is never coming back.' The repetition of 'never' makes it clear that this is a statement that she deeply wants her son to understand and, although some adult readers might find this uncomfortable, it is, importantly, open and honest.
To support the understanding of the loss of the father, the narrative device of making key words and phrases larger and bolder is used: 'It is NOT YOUR FAULT' and ' I am VERY proud of you' offer readers the chance to believe that they are guiltless of blame. I imagine that these scenes would offer a powerful outlet for both parent and child reader as they tackle the deep confusion and sense of blame that we can put upon ourselves when facing the loss of someone that we love very deeply.
But this is not a book that ends on a sad note, instead for the latter half of the story, it explores Alex's family's life after the death. Here we get to see Alex's family start a new chapter in their life, where Alex is allowed to ask questions about death with ease wherever he is - whether on the beach or at home. The final page may show Alex alone on the verso whilst his mother and sister sit together reading, but he is happy and comfortable in his surroundings.
He tells the reader that his mother says that it is okay to be sad and that, equally, it is okay to be happy too. What is important is that he should always feel that he can talk about his father whenever he wants to those who know him so that he can continue to understand what is, a profoundly emotional chapter in his own story.
I have read a lot of books recently that deal with the loss of a parent Missing Mommy: A Book About Bereavement and My Father's Arms Are a Boat but there is something real and deeply visceral about Alex's story. Knowing that the book is a retelling from Alex's point of view, as a parent, makes it a emotionally upsetting read, but I imagine it would give a great comfort to the child reader (and anyone who is supporting that child).
November 22, 2020
This book is about death but it is not about sadness.
Alex and his dad go on a boys weekend and have the most amazing time. But Alex’s dad becomes unwell and Alex has to try and find help. The page which shows Alex running across the camp site really got to me. The dark arrows path the long and confusing journey Alex went on to try and find help and I think it really shows a lack of control that Alex has over the situation whilst mimicking a state of panic which I’m sure Alex would have experienced.
Alex’s dad is taken off in an ambulance, and as a child Alex doesn’t understand the severity of the situation and continues to play. Once mum appears he tells her ‘Oi! no girls allowed!’ Which also shows a lack of understanding about what has happened. I like how the mum explains what has happened, she is clear and honest and doesn’t try to brush over what has happened. It’s heart breaking how Alex responds, he is a child and he doesn’t understand that his daddy will never come back. It portrays the innocence of children so well and their hope for all things positive.
The book goes on to show what happens after someone dies - the funeral. But I don’t think it is painted to be all doom and gloom - Alex recalls friends of his dad telling him funny stories and he gets to play with other family members. For me, this gives children the message that although funerals are sad, they are a celebration of life not a reminder of death.
I think the mother is incredibly strong in discussing her own death with her child, again not dismissing the concerns and telling him it won’t happen for a long time. Instead she comforts him in knowing it is a long time away and reminding him that there will always been people to love and care for him and his sister.
A year later on Alex’s 4th birthday he is having a monster party and having lots of fun - this shows children that it is okay to continue to enjoy life after the death of a loved one. And then on the next page Alex shares that although he does have these fun and happy days, he also has sad days - and this is okay too! It’s highlighted that it’s okay to share these feelings with others and talk to people about your feelings because other people will always stop and listen.
This story is about death but not about sadness as it shows the reader that life is for celebration and happiness and remembering the good times you spend with those you love.
I initially didn’t realise that this was a true story and once I did I think the content hit me much harder. I think Elke dealt with the situation well and ensured that Alex was informed and not just taught that his daddy was ‘in a better place’ or ‘up in heaven’, that he is gone and not coming back BUT it doesn’t mean he is forgotten. The fact the story is told by Alex makes the story more relatable for other children if they experience something similar as the story is told in a way that they will understand. Partially the emphasis that it wasn’t Alex’s fault and that he did the right thing and that his mum was proud of what he did. A definite book to share with children who experience the sudden death of a loved one.
Alex and his dad go on a boys weekend and have the most amazing time. But Alex’s dad becomes unwell and Alex has to try and find help. The page which shows Alex running across the camp site really got to me. The dark arrows path the long and confusing journey Alex went on to try and find help and I think it really shows a lack of control that Alex has over the situation whilst mimicking a state of panic which I’m sure Alex would have experienced.
Alex’s dad is taken off in an ambulance, and as a child Alex doesn’t understand the severity of the situation and continues to play. Once mum appears he tells her ‘Oi! no girls allowed!’ Which also shows a lack of understanding about what has happened. I like how the mum explains what has happened, she is clear and honest and doesn’t try to brush over what has happened. It’s heart breaking how Alex responds, he is a child and he doesn’t understand that his daddy will never come back. It portrays the innocence of children so well and their hope for all things positive.
The book goes on to show what happens after someone dies - the funeral. But I don’t think it is painted to be all doom and gloom - Alex recalls friends of his dad telling him funny stories and he gets to play with other family members. For me, this gives children the message that although funerals are sad, they are a celebration of life not a reminder of death.
I think the mother is incredibly strong in discussing her own death with her child, again not dismissing the concerns and telling him it won’t happen for a long time. Instead she comforts him in knowing it is a long time away and reminding him that there will always been people to love and care for him and his sister.
A year later on Alex’s 4th birthday he is having a monster party and having lots of fun - this shows children that it is okay to continue to enjoy life after the death of a loved one. And then on the next page Alex shares that although he does have these fun and happy days, he also has sad days - and this is okay too! It’s highlighted that it’s okay to share these feelings with others and talk to people about your feelings because other people will always stop and listen.
This story is about death but not about sadness as it shows the reader that life is for celebration and happiness and remembering the good times you spend with those you love.
I initially didn’t realise that this was a true story and once I did I think the content hit me much harder. I think Elke dealt with the situation well and ensured that Alex was informed and not just taught that his daddy was ‘in a better place’ or ‘up in heaven’, that he is gone and not coming back BUT it doesn’t mean he is forgotten. The fact the story is told by Alex makes the story more relatable for other children if they experience something similar as the story is told in a way that they will understand. Partially the emphasis that it wasn’t Alex’s fault and that he did the right thing and that his mum was proud of what he did. A definite book to share with children who experience the sudden death of a loved one.
October 15, 2020
This book explains perfectly to children the concept of death without sugar coating it, but also doesn’t describe it in an upsetting way. I was very moved by the author’s explanation of the death of Martin, and the finishing quote of this book sums up dealing with grief perfectly. If you have never experienced a death you may not understand, but those who have will relate to the last page very much. I would definitely use this book if a child I know had to deal with the sudden loss of someone close to them, and I can imagine that my family would have loved to have had it when I was young for me and my brother.
October 5, 2020
This story deals with the emotions of a young boy, Alex, following the very sudden death of his father with a heart attack. I feel the language used in this text makes the story applicable for a wide range of ages, particularly throughout primary school. The most poignant message I took from the story was that this was absolutely not Alex's fault (the text was also made bold for this), this may be an important message to convey for other children experiencing a similar situation.
I found the illustrations of this story very impactful, particularly the page where Alex if attempting to find help for his father. The high number of arrows in all different directions creates a sense of urgency and desperation the reader is able to feel alongside Alex.
I found the illustrations of this story very impactful, particularly the page where Alex if attempting to find help for his father. The high number of arrows in all different directions creates a sense of urgency and desperation the reader is able to feel alongside Alex.
October 21, 2019
I think this book does a really good job of discussing all the emotions that you can go through when dealing with bereavement. For example whilst it features emotions such as upset, disbelief and anger, it also talks about the conflicting feelings of it being ok for you to be happy and enjoying yourself, despite missing someone you love.
November 27, 2018
Amazing book, that could be used with children of any age to explain death. So well written, it actually made my eyes water at one point because it was so sad!
November 12, 2020
I’m not entirely sure how I feel about this particular book. I think it deals with a very hard and important topic and can be used to explain the concept of death to children well. Not only does it explain death itself but also the questions and feelings children may have or experience afterwards.
I like how the Mother in the story uses her heartbeat to explain how it’s needed to help us do the things we love and how Daddy’s heart has stopped and therefore can’t do those things anymore. I thought this was a very clever way to explain it to children.
I also loved the part where Alex has his monster birthday party which he is very excited for. Yet on the next page he explains how despite this he can on some days still feel sad about his Daddy, and he is shown to be able discuss this safely to the people around him who show understanding. I thought this was perfect as it tells children you can be happy again and that’s okay as it may not always be on the forefront of your mind, yet it can also be all you think about on other days and that’s okay too. Being able to bravely express what you’re feeling at the time to other people is a very important message to tell children. It can also teach other children who may have not experienced death themselves but if their friends may being going through it that being understanding and listening to their feelings is a very supportive thing for a friend to do.
The only thing I’m not sure about in this story was that upon first reading the Mother seems to come across as very blunt. I wasn’t sure if this was simply due to the way I was perceiving it and this was not meant to be the intention. I understand the importance of not sugar-coating the message and how there is a very fine line between sugarcoating or coming across very frank. I am just not sure if this book perfectly hits that line or not.
I like how the Mother in the story uses her heartbeat to explain how it’s needed to help us do the things we love and how Daddy’s heart has stopped and therefore can’t do those things anymore. I thought this was a very clever way to explain it to children.
I also loved the part where Alex has his monster birthday party which he is very excited for. Yet on the next page he explains how despite this he can on some days still feel sad about his Daddy, and he is shown to be able discuss this safely to the people around him who show understanding. I thought this was perfect as it tells children you can be happy again and that’s okay as it may not always be on the forefront of your mind, yet it can also be all you think about on other days and that’s okay too. Being able to bravely express what you’re feeling at the time to other people is a very important message to tell children. It can also teach other children who may have not experienced death themselves but if their friends may being going through it that being understanding and listening to their feelings is a very supportive thing for a friend to do.
The only thing I’m not sure about in this story was that upon first reading the Mother seems to come across as very blunt. I wasn’t sure if this was simply due to the way I was perceiving it and this was not meant to be the intention. I understand the importance of not sugar-coating the message and how there is a very fine line between sugarcoating or coming across very frank. I am just not sure if this book perfectly hits that line or not.
November 13, 2017
Wow! This book is so touching. I feel it is definitely an important thing to discuss with children. With it being from the perspective of Alex, the little boy, it is very easy to empathise with him and understand how he is feeling. The book title suggests it is only for pre-school children, however I think it would work for any primary aged child
November 19, 2018
A really lovely book based on true events and real families. Written simply for every child to be able to understand. I thought the language was suitable for all ages and the book is a wonderful way of engaging children in the difficult subject of sudden death and the loss of a parent.
November 21, 2019
I think this book does really well at explaining death honestly to children. I really like how the book encourages children to talk about how they are feeling when someone close to them dies. I also thought it was really clever how the mum explained to her son what death means and then how she prepared him for a funeral.
February 25, 2017
I really love this book. It definitely explains sudden death to children in words they can understand.
The front cover stood out to me before I even opened the book. It really does highlight the start of the story. Alex is on the left side of the page and close to the margin which means he is not control.
It's intriguing to me that Alex is also large as this usually indicates the character is in power, but Alex definitely does not appear to be based on his facial expression of sadness/shock. I really love the fact that Alex is stood taller than the ambulance, and it looks as though the ambulance is under his feet. I got the impression that Alex is trying to take control of a situation he has no control over and trying to make the ambulance appear small as though to forget about the unfolding event.
Anna Jarvis' illustrations are beautiful. They provide a realistic look into the experience that Alex and his mum are facing. Colours are not vibrant but are associated with real objects and are delicately painted, giving it a nice feel.
The page that stood out to me the most was the double-page spread that shows Alex's dismay as he searches for someone to help his father. The roughly drawn arrows of his steps portray the confusion, heartache and desperation Alex - as a 3 year old little boy - is going through as he frantically tries to navigate around the park so his dad can get better. This page really touched me - to look at how far Alex went to find a person and how he went a little 'bit further' because he understand the realism and urgency of the situation.
This book states that its directed at pre-school children but I really feel this book is a beautiful and touching read for anyone whose experienced death. Emotions of the characters can be felt by the reader from the author's words matched with the illustration. It made me understand the pain of losing Alex's dad suddenly that day.
I particularly love that this book does not have a sad ending despite a heavy topic and it goes on to look at Alex and his family's life without dad.
The end words will stay with me forever. 'Mummy says, "It's okay to be sad, but it's okay to be happy too.", and we are...'
The front cover stood out to me before I even opened the book. It really does highlight the start of the story. Alex is on the left side of the page and close to the margin which means he is not control.
It's intriguing to me that Alex is also large as this usually indicates the character is in power, but Alex definitely does not appear to be based on his facial expression of sadness/shock. I really love the fact that Alex is stood taller than the ambulance, and it looks as though the ambulance is under his feet. I got the impression that Alex is trying to take control of a situation he has no control over and trying to make the ambulance appear small as though to forget about the unfolding event.
Anna Jarvis' illustrations are beautiful. They provide a realistic look into the experience that Alex and his mum are facing. Colours are not vibrant but are associated with real objects and are delicately painted, giving it a nice feel.
The page that stood out to me the most was the double-page spread that shows Alex's dismay as he searches for someone to help his father. The roughly drawn arrows of his steps portray the confusion, heartache and desperation Alex - as a 3 year old little boy - is going through as he frantically tries to navigate around the park so his dad can get better. This page really touched me - to look at how far Alex went to find a person and how he went a little 'bit further' because he understand the realism and urgency of the situation.
This book states that its directed at pre-school children but I really feel this book is a beautiful and touching read for anyone whose experienced death. Emotions of the characters can be felt by the reader from the author's words matched with the illustration. It made me understand the pain of losing Alex's dad suddenly that day.
I particularly love that this book does not have a sad ending despite a heavy topic and it goes on to look at Alex and his family's life without dad.
The end words will stay with me forever. 'Mummy says, "It's okay to be sad, but it's okay to be happy too.", and we are...'
October 9, 2018
This book made me tear up so much. It's such a simple concept and such simple language that really explains death but the emotion and feelings really made an impact. This book is so cleverly illustrated and is a case of less is more.
July 8, 2016
There are many books out there on death. Death is a common theme in children's literature. Heck, I took a class at university called "death and dying in children's lit". The interesting and unique thing about this book is that it is semi-autobiographical. The mother and son team that wrote this did experience a sudden death, when their husband and father, respectively, died. We are not told if this happened the same way it did in this book, but having had the experience itself is enough to make the book simple and heartwarming.
It is a hard thing to explain death to the very young. They think that whatever or whomever died will be back, after a bit, thus the name of the book.
Highly recommended to anyone having to explain death to the very young. Sweet picture book. Well illustrated, and oh, so gentle.
Thanks to Netgalley for making this book available for an honest review.
It is a hard thing to explain death to the very young. They think that whatever or whomever died will be back, after a bit, thus the name of the book.
Highly recommended to anyone having to explain death to the very young. Sweet picture book. Well illustrated, and oh, so gentle.
Thanks to Netgalley for making this book available for an honest review.
July 24, 2016
I think this sad, lovely little book is the best picture book that I have seen that explains death to a young child. It is based on a true story and Alex, who was 3 years old when his father passed away, contributed to the story. His mother explains that his father can't come back because his body has stopped working and that it is ok to be sad. The book continues and shows that a year later, Alex is mostly happy, but it is still ok when he is sad sometimes. I received this book free to review from Netgalley and I highly recommend it.
October 9, 2017
This book is a very sensitive book, it explains bereavement from a child's view point. Going through the steps that this little boy went through, how he felt and how his mum dealt with the situation. Children as questions and it can be hard to answer as an adult when the answer is too harsh for a child to hear. The death of a family member is a very hard situation one for a child to deal and too for a adult to explain, I feel that this book is a really clear and sensitive way of approaching this matter.
The book has been based on a real life situation and written by the widow and son of Mart (the father in the book). The mother wrote this text when she tried to find books to help her explain to her child what was going on and found out just how little resources where out there.
I perhaps wouldn't use this book as a whole class text in any year and only bring it out if children unfortunate find themselves in a situation which this book would be of assistance. However i would say this book is rather detailed and so it would be one i would call upon if i was working with children in the upper key stages (KS2). If i needed a book to address this matter for younger children i would look at 'Missing Mummy, by Rebecca Cobb'.
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1...
The book has been based on a real life situation and written by the widow and son of Mart (the father in the book). The mother wrote this text when she tried to find books to help her explain to her child what was going on and found out just how little resources where out there.
I perhaps wouldn't use this book as a whole class text in any year and only bring it out if children unfortunate find themselves in a situation which this book would be of assistance. However i would say this book is rather detailed and so it would be one i would call upon if i was working with children in the upper key stages (KS2). If i needed a book to address this matter for younger children i would look at 'Missing Mummy, by Rebecca Cobb'.
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1...
October 9, 2021
This is a picture book that follows three year old Alex (who wrote this book with his mum, Elke), and the story of his dad suddenly dying. As the subtitle states, this book explains sudden death to pre-school children in words they can understand, but I would argue that it speaks to the inner-child of adults whose parent died when they were a child.
This book uses simple language to explain death, like "Daddy's heart has stopped beating, and he is never coming back", and does not sugarcoat the situation. I think we need more books like this in the UK, and I hope many people get the chance to read "Is Daddy Coming Back in a Minute?" because it is a refreshing way to talk about death.
This book tells children that they are not to blame for their parent's death, which I think is really important, because some children may feel guilty. I also like that the story follows Alex during the funeral and his next birthday. The book states that it is okay to be sad at times, but it is also okay to be happy in the time following someone's death.
The illustrations by Anna Jarvis are beautiful. I really like the use of watercolours.
This book uses simple language to explain death, like "Daddy's heart has stopped beating, and he is never coming back", and does not sugarcoat the situation. I think we need more books like this in the UK, and I hope many people get the chance to read "Is Daddy Coming Back in a Minute?" because it is a refreshing way to talk about death.
This book tells children that they are not to blame for their parent's death, which I think is really important, because some children may feel guilty. I also like that the story follows Alex during the funeral and his next birthday. The book states that it is okay to be sad at times, but it is also okay to be happy in the time following someone's death.
The illustrations by Anna Jarvis are beautiful. I really like the use of watercolours.
October 9, 2017
Just like 'Missing Mummy', this book explains death and mourning in a way children can relate too. However, this book touches upon the death side of it a lot more and is a longer book than 'Missing Mummy', so I feel this is more suitable for older children in comparison. It goes through all the thoughts and feelings as well as explaining all the things that will happen to the children, such as showing that its ok to tell people when you're upset about it and that its good to talk through it. One of the aspects I really liked about it was when it discussed that just because his dad had died, doesn't mean he will die as well. This is a good topic to discuss as I feel it is an aspect that may be really hard for children to grasp. This is the same for who would look after them if their mum were to die as well. The pictures weren't too bright and exciting, however they were still good illustations and I feel this more sombre tone is appropriate for the topic of the book.
October 9, 2017
This book is an extremely emotional story based on a real life situation. The writers of this book - Elke and Alex Barber experienced this first hand and have written this book to help other children who are primary school age to understand sudden deaths in words that they can understand.
This book would be most useful with primary school children who are in the upper section of the school (KS2), there is a book which deal with bereavement for younger children (KS1) called 'missing mummy' this book is similar but explains in more depth sudden death and so is suitable for older kids.
I would not have this book on the bookshelf of the class - it would be in my possession to use with children to discuss and maybe read together if they had experienced a death within their family, of someone close to them. The book is simplified to the processes that go on behind a death within a child's family and helps them to gain an understanding of what death is and how people come to terms with it.
This book would be most useful with primary school children who are in the upper section of the school (KS2), there is a book which deal with bereavement for younger children (KS1) called 'missing mummy' this book is similar but explains in more depth sudden death and so is suitable for older kids.
I would not have this book on the bookshelf of the class - it would be in my possession to use with children to discuss and maybe read together if they had experienced a death within their family, of someone close to them. The book is simplified to the processes that go on behind a death within a child's family and helps them to gain an understanding of what death is and how people come to terms with it.
October 16, 2017
This was a recommendation asking for a controversial picture book. Alex goes on a boys weekend with his dad when his dad suddenly dies. His mum explains that daddy's heart has stopped beating and his body doesn't work. The book goes through the motions of others support, funeral and all the questions Alex has about death. Alex's mum does activities such as drawing guardians and counting sleeps which could be used in the classroom. I found the book a shock at first as Barber doesn't shy away from the facts, I think this is a positive aspect of the book as it brings it home what death really is. I would use it in the classroom but with parental permission first as I don't want the children going home upset asking parents about death. Also invade death is a raw subject still. Read it for an honest shocker and Alex's journey forwards being both sad and happy.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 26, 2017
What do you do when the unthinkable happens? How do you explain sudden death to a 3 year old child? This is a wonderfully written story with beautiful illustrations, that when put together, help to tell the tale of a mother & son who experience the loss of a husband/Dad at the age of just 34 years.
I myself have had to explain the loss of someone close to my young children and i can say it is one of the hardest things i have ever had to do. It is difficult to know where to actually start with it, This book makes your stomach clench and your heart ache. It is also says, it is ok to move and be happy. This is one of the hardest things to learn. A unique tale that i can truly see helping others now and in the years to come.
I myself have had to explain the loss of someone close to my young children and i can say it is one of the hardest things i have ever had to do. It is difficult to know where to actually start with it, This book makes your stomach clench and your heart ache. It is also says, it is ok to move and be happy. This is one of the hardest things to learn. A unique tale that i can truly see helping others now and in the years to come.
October 18, 2020
I'm unsure how I feel about this book. It is a tricky concept to write about especially for such a young audience.
I do think children should understand the reality of death and it shouldn't be sugar coated but personally I think the mum came across as blunt when telling Alex about his dad. Maybe this is to do with her way of grieving? I appreciate how honest the mum was but personally found it quite hard to read.
I did however like how the mum used her own heartbeat to explain how you need your heart to be able to do the things that you love and that when your heart stops so does your body. I also liked how at the end they say that it is ok to be sad but it's also ok to feel happy. I think that is a really positive message for children (and adults) to hear.
I do think children should understand the reality of death and it shouldn't be sugar coated but personally I think the mum came across as blunt when telling Alex about his dad. Maybe this is to do with her way of grieving? I appreciate how honest the mum was but personally found it quite hard to read.
I did however like how the mum used her own heartbeat to explain how you need your heart to be able to do the things that you love and that when your heart stops so does your body. I also liked how at the end they say that it is ok to be sad but it's also ok to feel happy. I think that is a really positive message for children (and adults) to hear.
July 26, 2017
I was looking for a book to explain death to our Kids (3 years old). No one in our family died but i noticed that the concept of death was not clear to my children and i looked long and hard for a good book.
We all love this book, it is written clear and to the point and gives explinations to questions i would not know how to answer.
What i think is great about this book is, it gives clear and direct answers to questions. What i also love is (since we are not very spiritual people) the part about where daddy went... "some people belive that he is a star now" So you could incoorperate whatever you belive!
You might want to read it alone for the first time... I might have shed some tears!
We all love this book, it is written clear and to the point and gives explinations to questions i would not know how to answer.
What i think is great about this book is, it gives clear and direct answers to questions. What i also love is (since we are not very spiritual people) the part about where daddy went... "some people belive that he is a star now" So you could incoorperate whatever you belive!
You might want to read it alone for the first time... I might have shed some tears!
November 12, 2019
I was hesitant to reading this book, as i had heard how raw and honest it was about death. However, I don't regret reading it now. Alex's story is one that made me extremely emotional and I think it would be a great book to use with children in my class who have lost anyone in their family, however it must be used in the right way. The language and images highlight the innocence of Alex, and all his emotions including, confusion, guilt and sadness which is what all children losing someone close will feel. What a great, painfully honest book.
October 20, 2020
I found this book very upsetting. It is an honest book about death for children, through the death of a young boys dad while they were on holiday. It would be a good book to use with younger children if bereavement had occurred in the class. The book explained the idea of death in a way young children could access and fully understand. I personally wouldn’t use this book unless a specific situation occurred as I found it so emotional and I think it could potentially spark some anxiety in children, and with it being a true story. The book was beautifully illustrated.
January 30, 2018
I wouldn't recommend this to be read aloud in an elementary class but as a one-on-one read to a bereaved child by a parent or grandparent. The story takes place in Britain I think because the references and speech patterns are similar. The little three year old has to find help when his father feels poorly. And it is scary for kids when he is left alone waiting and his mother arrives. The book has a happy ending but leaves a sad event to remember.
February 3, 2019
This book is just amazing. I have read a few books about the loss of a parent but this one because it is read from Alex’s point of view i think it such an important book to have in your classroom. It allows the children to really understand what it is like to loose a parent at such a young age. I also feel that children who have gone through loosing a parent would really be able to relate to this book a lot more than others. Would be perfect for KS1 and KS2.
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February 24, 2023Explaining death is very hard, but explaining sudden death might be even harder. Yet, this book does a great job of explaining it in ways young children would understand. This is a true book about a family, and is very heartwarming. I could relate to some of the things happening in this book and because of that I think I liked it extra. I would recommend this book to anyone, not just children, grieving a loss.
August 5, 2019
Much like "Death is Stupid" this book is concrete and relatable to young children with the added bonus that it could give parents some tangible ideas of ways to help the child process death. As a hospice volunteer, I read a lot of literature on what children need as they are grieving and this hits every point but does it in a way that is simple, direct and reassuring.
May 8, 2017
This book tackles sudden death in easy to explain way to students. This would be a book I would read aloud if someone in our class experienced sudden death, to help other students understand how to act or what to say.
6 Traits: Ideas and Presentation
6 Traits: Ideas and Presentation
October 21, 2019
This book is a powerful and emotional story that recounts true events of a sudden family death. This would be a great book to use in the classroom to help young children understand death. Just as importantly, it helps adults to understand how to talk to young children about bereavement.
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