Shalom in the Home

by Shmuley Boteach

Offers realistic advice for achieving a better family life, following ten families who have requested the author's counseling to resolve family dysfunction.

Genres: Parenting, Self Help, Nonfiction

288 pages, Paperback

First published March 6, 2007

About the author

Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, named by Talkers Magazine as one of the 100 most important radio hosts in America, is a nationally syndicated talk show host, the international best-selling author of 15 books, and an acclaimed syndicated columnist.

A winner of the London Times highly prestigious "Preacher of the Year" award, Rabbi Shmuley has lectured and appeared in print, radio, and TV all over the globe. His radio show, "Rabbi Shmuley's Passion," airs daily on Bonneville Broadcasting in afternoon drive-time.

He is the author of a number of books, including "Kosher Sex: A Recipe for Passion and Intimacy," "Dating Secrets of the Ten Commandments," "Why Can't I Fall in Love," "Judaism for Everyone: Renewing your Life through the Vibrant Lessons of the Jewish Faith," and most recently, "Hating Women: America's Hostile Campaign Against the Fairer Sex." A winner of the annual "preacher of the year" contest sponsored by the Times of London, he was formerly rabbi of Oxford University.


Shmuley—he is known universally by his first name, has marketed himself as a rabbi to the stars and an expert on Jewish attitudes toward relationships and marriage. ("Dr. Ruth with a yarmulke," the Washington Post called him.)

Reviews

[Andrea]

I read each of the family stories in the book (except one, as I don't have toddlers anymore) and connected to every single one of them. I would probably connect to the toddler parents too.

I keep seeing a quote floating out in the interwebs: What you are not changing, you are choosing. That applies to the lessons I learned from Shalom in the Home - What I am not changing as a wife, mother, or daughter, I am choosing.

[Blake Buchanan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed the lessons in this book. I could relate to several of the families and their issues. His jutes at the end of each story were a great way to summarize the lessons. This book was very helpful.

[Daisy · Rating 1 out of 5]

this is an amazing example of how shmoolie can type and wank at the same time.

[Tricia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book. I’ve highlighted so many great reminders for my relationships and home!

[Carol Nain · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book should come with a warning label:
DO NOT READ unless you are ready to hear the hard-core truth about yourself.
this book reminds me of SUPER NANNY, except he is the bringer of peace.
Parents plead for him to help them with their unruly, misunderstood, and undisciplined children. He parks himself, literally, in your back yard. He observes your family and dissects each members role and effect on the others in the family unit. Horribly, then you must view yourself on camera and he gracefully plucks you to pieces! No, really, the truth does hurt. (Rabbi Shmuley does do this in a respectful and honest manner.)Then thank goodness he puts back all the pieces in their proper places. He will give you the tools of awareness and repair.

So, the only reason I gave it four stars, was because of my own short-comings and the difficulty I had swallowing my own unhealthy traits. Ones that I am more aware of shamefully passing on to my children. Rabbi Shmuley has now given me the power to work with that.

It makes me think of Matthew 12:34; Jesus says that "whatever is in your heart determines what you say." or an interpretation of that verse, which I have on an index card by my front door, saying:
"Blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth"

[Linda Pressman · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book for its wisdom and the amazing things I learned, even as a parent of teenagers, about how I should have been raising them all along. There is such wisdom in this book, such amazing insight into human nature and our roles as parents, that I felt I needed to highlight page after page, afraid I would forget it all. The only thing I really disliked about it is that it's essentially a recap of his show's first season and includes too much information about time in the viewing trailer, the producers, getting an episode together and other details that certainly were important to him as the host of Shalom in the Home, but maybe not to a reader of this fine book several years later. The book should stand on its own regardless of the existence of the show, which I, unfortunately, never saw.

[Sam · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm reading this for a book study group in April at church. It focuses on raising peaceful fun filled families. It's a very different perspective than I'm used to--an Orthodox Jewish perspective. On the one hand many of his ideals are ones I hold, yet for very different reasons. He does include a lesbian family and whatever his theological view may be he is all supportiving of their family unit and astutley aware of the problems rejection by society and their own families has brought. While firmly grounded in his own tradition he advises people from all kinds of families and walks of life. It's proving to be an interesting read, and I think will provoke lots of discussion.

[Eden · Rating 5 out of 5]

I LOVED this book. I thought Rabbi Shmuley had some of the best insights that I've read in a long, long time. He was also a professional with a heart. He was exceedingly honest about his own issues and was not condescending or superior in anyway to the people he was teaching. I loved that about him. I learned so much about relationships from reading this book and count it as a gift that I found it.

[Alissa · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was surprised by the format of this book. He took the 10 families that had been featured on the first season of the show and outlined their problems and how he tried to fix them. I found some of his tips to be useful, especially since it addressed real life problems; however, I think since I didn't watch the show it was harder to relate.

[Charles · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very insightful to a balanced home life with each chapter a different mix of family dynamics and challenges. I recommend it to all due to the value he places on each individual for the overall outcome of peace in the home - not a peace gained by losing but by realizing the true source of a problem.

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not being a fan of the TV show, I wasn't sure what to expect -- but I generally like Rabbi Boteach's approach to creating family harmony. I'm a little hesitant to endorse everything he says, especially where he talks about the differences between girls and boys, but I did learn from this book.

[Paula · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book. I thought he had some really insightful things to say about family life. He was positive, yet realistic about all families having problems to deal with. I liked his patient approach with himself as a parent and suggestions for others.

[The Farmer's Wife · Rating 4 out of 5]

I never saw this show this book is based on. However, I thoroughly enjoyed this book. I found myself cheering for Rabbi Boteach right from the introduction when he re-tells his life's calling...what a Blessing he has proven to be to countless families...a great read exploring family dynamics.

[Andrea Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love this guy. It is a fun book to read and allows the rest of us to feel like we are doing something right with our parenting.

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

family values are not a dead issue

[Lenega · Rating 4 out of 5]

Inspiring examples of what it takes to keep family together and what people would/should do if they were serious about it and could figure it out.

[Elsa Binder · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good read. I like Mr. Boteach's commitment to family. He makes it refreshing by pointing out his issues.

[Lisa Thomson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent advice for both intact and divorced families. Single parents like myself, will benefit from his practical and realistic advice. I just love Rabbi Shmuley!