Needlework

by Deirdre Sullivan

‘I would like to make things beautiful, but a tawdry and repulsive kind of beauty. A braver sort than people have from birth. Sexy zombies on a bicep. That sort of thing.’

Ces longs to be a tattoo artist and embroider skin with beautiful images. But for now she’s just trying to reach adulthood without falling apart.

Powerful, poetic and disturbing, Needlework is a girl’s meditation on her efforts to maintain her bodily and spiritual integrity in the face of abuse, violation and neglect.



PRAISE FOR NEEDLEWORK

‘Reading Needlework is similar to getting your first tattoo – it’s searing, often painful, but it is an experience you’ll never forget.’ ​ ​– Louise O’Neill, author of Only Ever Yours and Asking For It

‘Sullivan confronts a difficult subject matter head-on, yet with subtlety and grace … Needlework is a powerful novel that deserves to be read.’ – Sarah Crossan, author of The Weight of Water and One

‘Needlework is the sort of book adults worry about teenagers reading, and the sort of book teenagers need to have written for them.’ – Claire Hennessy, author, editor and reviewer

‘A modern, broken fairy tale that gets under your skin’ – Tara Flynn, author and comedian

Cover design by Irish artist Steve McCarthy

Genres: Young Adult, Fiction, Contemporary, Irish Literature, Mental Health, Feminism, Audiobook

224 pages, Paperback

First published February 25, 2016

About the author

Deirdre Sullivan is a writer from Galway.

Reviews

[Claire Hennessy · Rating 5 out of 5]

An absolutely gorgeous, poetic look at the internal world of a teenage girl dealing with the aftermath of abuse. Sullivan's book begins where many would end - at the point when the narrator, Frances (Ces), has escaped the abusive situation, and demonstrates that it's not always quite as simple and easy as getting away from an abuser, especially not one who's related to you. Ces is smart, relatable, and brave - and angry, much of the time, and understandably so. I wish there were more YA books like this - this is the sort of work teenagers need to have written for them.

[Karina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Astonishing, powerful, heartbreaking, fierce, wise - Needlework is an unflinching, raw story of a young woman trying to make sense of life and her place in it after she and her mother leave their abusive family home.

But god, Ces is smart and so desperately vulnerable, doing her best to hold things together while her mother Laura falls apart, that you long to take care of her and support her the way no adult has done so far...

As we discover her fears and nightmares, we also are offered her hopes for the future, interleaved with the history and symbolism of tattoos - the beautiful scars you choose to have.

[Cora Tea Party Princess · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very different writing style to what I'm used to.

Review to come.

[Kirsty · Rating 2 out of 5]

Needlework was a book I knew nothing about when it arrived through my letterbox. I'm not quite sure what I was expecting when I picked it up but I'm not quite sure I was ready for what I was about to go through.


This book is so very sad. Ces is such a lonely neglected character. It takes her a while for her to open up and tell her story and it comes in snippets but as you start to piece together both what she has gone through but also the state in which she currently lives it is hard not to feel for her. It made me angry at her both her parents so much as the story went on and also for all those other people around her that should have been paying attention to this girl who they didn't notice was hurting as badly as she was.


Don't get me wrong this book isn't perfect. The really long chapters bothered me more than they should and the writing style which flipped narratives sometimes from sentence to sentence didn't necessarily work for me and it took me a long time to get into this book.


All in all a very sad little book which you'll enjoy if you like Louise O'Neill's books.

[Lara Liz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another book about tattoos, but a very different one. Still made me want to get a tattoo. Still made me wish I could draw.

But it wasn't a magical experience. It wasn't meant to be. It was raw and real and brimming with emotion. And that was what the subject of this book needed, quite frankly. It made me think for a long, long time, and I don't think I'll ever forget it.

And the writing technique was subtle, different to everything I've read before. I don't want to give away too much, but there's this trick with the dialogue. Has anyone else realised that, until Ces tells everyone what happened, (I think) all the dialogue is reported? It's only afterwards that she (and everyone else) starts to speak properly? I only realised it afterwards, after thinking for a long while, and wow.

It's beautiful.

[Jenny · Rating 5 out of 5]

While Needlework deals with painful subjects, it is beautifully written and Sullivan’s style allows the reader enter into Ces’ mind. Her voice is very distinctive, and the writing is so lyrical that it is almost like poetry [...] The cover, designed by Steve McCarthy, is very striking and captures the pain explored by Sullivan in the book. Needlework is a powerful and a painful read, it gets under your skin and it will stay with you. The voice is distinctive and memorable, the subject matter handled with delicacy and sensitivity. I can’t recommend it highly enough.

Full review of Needlework

[halfirishgrin · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a tough book to read just because the subject matter is so difficult, but Sullivan does a pretty brilliant job handling it. It follows the story of Ces in the aftermath of abuse. Her falling apart and trying to put herself back together. A lot of it is very internal. It's all about Ces and seen through Ces' eyes. How she thinks, feels, what she does. Which is very tough to write, I think, but Sullivan does a good job of it.

I wouldn't suggest reading this when you're in a bad place because it is a really difficult read. I had to keep putting it down because it was quite heavy. Otherwise, I recommend it for everyone. And it has a very hopeful end, which was managed really well.

[Dave · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful, clever, often-harrowing book. Sullivan deftly and bravely navigates a painful topic but to focus on that would be to do the book a disservice. People are not just their scars, and Ces is a real person - flawed, complex, surviving. Tattoos and tattooing underscore the narrative perfectly, and Sullivan never talks down to or patronises the reader. Like a tattoo itself, Needlework is painful in places, but it's also a piece of real art. I loved it.

[Iria · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had to take my time reading this book because it really curls its fingers around your heart and tightens. Though there is no other way to deal with the topic it deals with. Sullivan approaches it amazingly and while it hurts reading it, it is necessary that we do.

[Gabbie Pop · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75/5
TW: sexual assault,domestic violence,self harm
Do you ever read a book and both while reading it and after having finished it,just feel so conflicted?Like,you have no idea just how you feel about the book,but you know you do feel a lot?Cause I'm pretty sure that is me with this book and I have no other better way to describe it.
Mainly,I think it is a very deep,very intense,very powerful story which is meant to leave a lasting impact.As you can gather from the trigger warnings (I'm not quite sure if they're all the ones there should be put or if there are more,but they're all the ones I could identify), the story is very heavy. The characters are all rightfully flawed,the overall tone of the book feels very dark for the most part.
While there were few and between things that jumped out at me and some sentences that rubbed me the wrong way,I can't help but the book as a whole,is legit. (wow,what a millennial phrase to use)
The narrative voice,though shifting a few times throughout the book as I couldn't help but notice,does feel genuine.It not only feels like the voice of a teenager,but it feels like the voice of a troubled teenager who's been through *if you will pardon my french* an awful lot of shit.I quite enjoyed the inserts about tattoos as well as the main character having this as a passion/hobby (?),since more often than not,characters' interests in YA don't vary that much.
I was quite bothered by the protagonists' attitude towards her mother's MI (depression),which is what bothered me for the most part,but it all comes back to the characters feeling like real people and real people are more often than not driven by feelings and experiences and not political corectness.Not to mention,as far as mothers go,Ces' wasn't the best one out there.However,that whole attitude and dynamic felt very genuine to me.Real people can be utter shit and shouldn't get a free pass because of being depressed,which I suppose extends to characters.Characters being believable ultimately trumps them being likeable.
I also loved the slight tone shift towards the end of the book,when things don't get resolved all of a sudden,but there is just a spark of hope.Very raw,very real.
All of that rambling being said,I am very much looking forward to reading more of Deirdre's work in the future.

[Cooleen Books · Rating 5 out of 5]

Review to come- but I know I can't do this book justice.


A big thank you to Little Island Books for sending me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review

[Kirsty · Rating 4 out of 5]

I do not tend to gravitate toward young adult books, but Needlework by Deirdre Sullivan sounded quite original.  Whilst I had not read any of her fiction before picking up this tome, I have heard a lot of positive comments about her writing, and was eager to sample it for myself.  Fellow Irish YA author Louise O'Neill, whose fiction I enjoy, writes: 'Reading Needlework is similar to getting your first tattoo - it's searing, often painful, but it is an experience you'll never forget.'

Our protagonist, sixteen-year-old Frances, is known as Ces.  Ces wants to become a tattoo artist, so that she can 'embroider skin with beautiful images.  But for now she's just trying to reach adulthood without falling apart.' She lives in Ireland, and has to work at a local newsagents in order to make ends meet.  She and her mother have left her violent father, and her mother often does not leave her bedroom during the day.  'She is a good mother,' Ces tells us, 'or she can be.  It's just that she is broken and she knows I am as well but that doesn't stop her breaking me even more.'  

We learn, throughout, about Ces' 'meditation on her effort to maintain her bodily and spiritual integrity in the face of abuse, violation and neglect.'  She ruminates on the horrors which have been done to her, and the fear which she has of being seen as a victim.  She has a sexual relationship with the boy that lives next door in a house 'mostly made of plywood and fag ash', Tom, and recognises the deep-rooted problems at its heart: 'There is something wrong with it, amoral even.  Not on my part, or on his, but kind of both.  I'm using him while also being used.'  Indeed, there is a volatility to each of the relationships in her life.

Sections of present-day narrative have been interspersed with poetic, rather mesmerising prose, which details tattoos and artwork. Ces is continually concerned with the body and the skin, and how it can be transformed into something beautiful, or just different.  The novel opens in the following way: 'First prepare the skin.  Not the room, the tools you'll use.  The skin itself, a mental switch to open you to something...  Needles, things that fascinate me always.  Much kinder and much crueller than are knives, a spindle-pierce through filaments and fingers.'  This continues throughout, pulling the whole story together, and often adding a little light relief to the dark subject matter.  

The prose has some really gorgeous, textured writing to it, particularly when Sullivan explores tattoos, art, and marking oneself with something as permanent as a tattoo: 'Your needle is a pen, and ink your pigment.  Fish-scale silver, saucy ketchup red.  Mute or lurid colour.  A whisper or a scream.'  The imagery which Sullivan creates is sometimes quite haunting.  She writes: 'I drew an angry eye inside my book.  A woman made of snakes.  A crown of bones upon a kingly head.  A woman holding up a mirror to her decapitated neck.  A jar of honey filled with many bees.'

I found the narrative quite beguiling.  Ces is an unusual character in her outlook, and the way in which she tackles things.  She seems, in many ways, older than her years; she tends to be quite wise.  There is no real naivety to her, due to the situations which she has found herself in, and the way in which the agency of her body has been taken by others.  She is not always a loner, but she often feels alone.  She comments: 'I am not liked.  People who do not know me automatically assume that I am a cold bitch.  That is the phrase they use.  Maybe it is true.  I find it difficult to warm to people.  I always assume that they pose a threat and gird myself accordingly.'  

Ces' observations of herself are suffused with pain; they are sometimes brutal, and often hard to read.  She does not hold out a great deal of hope for her future, either: 'I sometimes see my life as a series of doors shutting loudly, one after another.'  I found her narrative voice entirely convincing throughout.  When she talks about her difficult past, and how it has affected her, she does so with a kind of gloomy beauty: 'I thought Dad was the source of all my problems.  And now he is removed and things remain the same within my head.  I wish my brain was metamorphic rock.  Dark blue limestone changed to purest marble, wiping clean the dirt that lurks in pores.  Like a phoenix, rising from the heat, all new and perfect.'

Needlework is described in its blurb as 'powerful, poetic and disturbing'; it is all of these things.  Its beautifully written prose is often bleak, and there are such vivid descriptions of violence and abuse within it that it should not be read by the faint-hearted.  Needlework is more hard-hitting than any other young adult novel I have encountered; there is so much within it that seems more suited to gritty adult fiction.  Sullivan has certainly tackled some difficult subjects here, particularly with regard to sexual abuse, and I would suggest that it is not an appropriate novel for those under the age of fourteen to read.  I, somewhat older than the novel's intended audience, found myself wincing at points in the narrative.  

Sullivan presents a raw, unflinching portrait of the real troubles that so many young girls are forced to go through, and Needlework is all the more unforgettable and striking for it.  This coming-of-age novel is painfully observed, and well worth picking up if you're looking for something challenging to read.  Needlework did so much more than I was expecting, and I imagine that its powerful story will stay with me for a long time to come.

[Gráinne · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is so sad. It’s about Ces, a teen girl living with the aftermaths of abuse . It is poetic and heartbreaking and fierce. It is the story of Ces’s struggle to survive in a world that doesn’t want her. It broke my heart and healed it again and I recommend it ( PLEASE PLEASE CHECK TRIGGER WARNINGS)

[Kit · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wasn't a fan of the writing style.

[Martha :) · Rating 4 out of 5]

ive never read two books by her that seemed at all by the same author

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written. Difficult subject. Perfectly aimed at people the age of Ces. I love that the story didn't shy away from the horrible things that had happened and were happening, but it was never gratuitous or vulgar. Not an easy line to walk.

I also learned a lot about tattoos!!! Coincidentally I watched an episode of QI that said pigskin was used for tattoo practice, but I had literally JUST learned that from this book!

And I love the one time Ces is a little snide about one guy having a tribal tattoo, with no obvious reason. ;)

[Sarah · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF - pg26

Three times I tried to read this book. And finally after that third attempt I just decided to leave this one behind. There was just something about this book that wasn't for me. I found the writing style to be not my taste and then from the small section that I did read, I was bored and there was just nothing there to get me past the boredom so that I could push through and see what does happen as the book continues. So unfortunately, even though it was a book that I was highly interested in, it ended up not being for me.

[Ross · Rating 3 out of 5]

I didn't enjoy this as much as I thought I would...it dragged on for most of it tbh.

UPDATE** : I am definitely re-reading this after meeting the lovely author because I think I rushed through it and didn't give it the time it needed to be enjoyed & loved.

[Christina Reid · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a powerful and important book - not an easy read but one that will stay with you! Full review to come!

[Laura · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to like this as it’s a genre I always read but I couldn’t finish it as it was very jumpy and long

[Erin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is very unexpected, but in the best way possible.
I assumed this book would be about tattoos both because of the title and cover. It is a little, but definitely is not the main plot. The books layout is very unique so it's very hard to describe if you have not read it.
Frances is such a sad character, it's hard to read about (but in the best way). It's a lot darker and heavy hitting than I was expecting, probably needing a few trigger warnings.
The theme of tattooing and other body modifications are woven into the plot in small sections. It's actually very informative as well as being good breathing room from the hard-hitting story.
I will admit, it took a little getting used to as it is written from the perspective of someone who is obviously quite traumatised. I could've rated it 4 stars as the ending is not really that amazing and felt like a small letdown after such a prominent theme coming to a head towards the end but never being resolved.
Ces' interactions with others is really interesting. It's written in an almost confusing way, which sounds off-putting but it really isn't. It's like what it would probably feel like to actually be able to read someone else's thoughts.
The writing style is very interesting and could fall extremely flat if written any other way. Sullivan manages to pull it off, even more than that really. the story fits the style so very well I cannot think of any other book that would suit it more perfectly.
All the characters excpet for the main, Ces, are not really over developed (or developed at all) which is very fitting as you get such an insight into Ces' brain. All her thoughts are expressed and written so beautifully, I had to overlook the slightly shoddy ending and rate this 5*. Definitely worth a read in my opinion.

[Sarah O'Riordan | travelseatsreads · Rating 4 out of 5]

Needlework is a deeply challenging yet equally beautiful book which looks at the aftermath of abuse and it's long standing impacts even when you're safe. The book follows the distinctive voice of Ces and her struggle to try and keep her world from collapsing as she's neglected by her distraught mother following their escape from their abusive home life.

At times as I was reading this I really struggled with some of the writing and was almost disconnecting, then on the next page I would be fully consumed by Ces's pain, anger and indeed her strong, resilient and beautiful mind. After reading and sitting with my thoughts I think that sensation of disconnect and reconnecting was an amazing quality within the book which aided in portraying the turmoil Ces felt.

The language and imagery throughout is quite hauntingly beautiful and lingers far after it's read. There are so many stand out lines and images that evoke intense thought and emotions.

The characters of both Ces and her mother Laura are both very raw and frighteningly real at times. I found myself wanting to protect both Ces and Laura while at the same time yelling at Laura for not being enough for Ces. Laura's character was one which really evoked some strong emotions.

Something that also struck me which I was very intrigued by was Ces's interest in tattooing co-existing alongside her self-harming. Maybe a need to turn something painful yet release inducing into something beautiful?

This book is one which overflows with pain but also with beauty and healing, a tough read but one I'm very glad I stuck with.

TW for physical, emotional and sexual abuse, child abuse, mental illness, self-harm, and suicidal ideation.

[౨ৎ · Rating 2 out of 5]

trigger warning: rape, sexual abuse, incest

i have conflicting feelings about this book.. while approaching very emotionally charged issues such as sexual assault can be quite heavy on the heart, even if you are only looking at it from a distance. but that was not the case at all for this one.

yes, there were times i empathised with ces because it would seem as if the world has gone on a personal vendetta against her existence and is cursing her for every day she lives and breathes. but her general apathy towards life in general, and constant misery, made me feel so hopeless with her. and the worst part is that i don't fucking blame her lol, who would want to live when you have lived the life she lived? whenever she approaches her struggles in life with a general detachment and guarded vulnerability, especially with her peer to peer relationships, that in itself was too familiar.

but mostly what really struck with me in this book is the underlying toxicity of mother and daughter relationships. i highlighted so much passages in context of this, because i myself have had and still harbor the same sentiments to my own mother, and it really is within generational trauma (especially women or mothers) that are so deeply emotionally rooted. it takes one to know one.

nevertheless, i enjoyed this experience of ces's journey to finding self-love through imprinting on her body and trying to claim it as one of the few things she can actively choose to penetrate her body.. as well as navigating through surviving a traumatic childhood experience with not toxic positivity, but paced neutrality and righteous anger. oh, and also, the mother thing - definitely the mother thing.

[Alison · Rating 2 out of 5]

TW: mention of sexual abuse

I really liked the premise of this book, but was a bit disappointed by the end product. Maybe it's because I have a hard time reading sad things since the pandemic started, but I thought I'd be able to read this book quickly, and it ended up taking me awhile because I found it difficult to want to pick it up. While I think it tells a really important narrative about sexual abuse, I found it difficult to be interested in the character and her story. That may be because of the style of writing: the book had very little dialogue and read as an elongated monologue, which I quickly realized wasn't really for me. More than just not including much dialogue, however, there was also little action. It was definitely interesting to spend so much time in Ces's head, but I found myself wishing we could get out of it a lot. Maybe that was the point of the story, but I still was craving that action or dialogue throughout my read. All in all, I think this book maybe just was a style that I was not used to, and I've realized it's not a style I'm particularly drawn to, but that's okay! The story and narrative were compelling, and the book definitely provides insight into an aspect of many girls' lives that don't get discussed a lot, which I believe to be important despite my not being drawn in very much.

[Andi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heartbreaking. I read this book over two sunny days. It's a sad story about a teenage girl living a life without hope as she was failed by her abuser father and her mother, who has been so damaged by the abuse she suffered herself, that she has all but given up on life, leaving most of the responsibilities of running the household to her daughter. Through this, Ces, the heroine, although her self esteem is very low, expresses herself through art and teaches herself how to be a tattoo artist. I found the coping strategies of both the abused Ces and her mother to be interesting, as they are survivors who don't act the way society often thinks a victim "should" act. I wanted to take Ces from the pages and show her how life could be for her if only she learned how valuable and worthwhile she is. Without spoiling the ending, it left me satisfied, although it was open. A good read which has stayed with me. I will reread on another sunny day and in the meantime be more sensitive to what women and girls maybe hiding and what I can do to help them.

[Alex · Rating 2 out of 5]

Most of the book is the MC wishing her trauma away. She is almost entirely defined by it - not much else is there to make her interesting or likeable, to make me care for her future.

About 3 things actually happen in the book, the rest is just her angsty thoughts on all the sad stuff in her life. Wallowing in misery, but trying to do it poetically. My attention strayed a lot.

The art inside is not good. It aims for realism, except the most basic stuff like shapes and shading betrays a significant lack of knowledge on drawing. Considering those are meant to be tattoo designs... I don't like to be harsh, but for this book, it's quite bad. My beef is not with the artist, but with the publisher's decision to use this art.

The only thing I like is how in the end, the trauma is confronted but nothing is magically fixed. An open ending of sorts that hints at the possibility of closure and healing. Ends with hope.
Gave it two stars just for that.

[Ellie Patten · Rating 4 out of 5]

The writing in this book is so powerful and raw. It deals with an incredibly difficult, heartbreaking and sensitive subject, which is at times unpleasant and uncomfortable to read about, making it a very dark read for the majority. The main character is beautifully crafted - she’s vulnerable, but strong and resilient in a quiet, understated way, and is thoughtful and smart as she tries to come to terms with what’s happened to her and what this means for who she is and what her future looks like. A heartbreaking and introspective read filled with beautiful imagery.
“A tawdry and repulsive kind of beauty.”

[Mairéad · Rating 5 out of 5]

An incredibly sad and harrowing read, definitely not one to pick up without full awareness of the heavy content so I’ve decided to share some content warnings here for anyone who is considering giving it a read.

TW - domestic violence, sexual assault, incest, self harm, suicidal thoughts, parental neglect, parentification of child, were the key ones that resonated with me as I was reading.

I can’t say that I enjoyed this but it felt very genuine and realistic throughout so I couldn’t imagine rating it any differently and would absolutely recommend it to anyone working with teenagers as I felt it offers good insight into the inner landscape of a 16year old with ACEs

[Emma Robinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This YA book deals with some dark topics and it took me about a third of the book to get into it, but when I did, I couldn’t stop reading and kept going late into the night to finish.

Ces is a character I wanted to pick up and take home with me. The novel is cleverly interspersed with fragments about the tattooing which fascinates her and slowly she reveals her secrets to us. There is enough detail about her past to evoke a visceral reaction, whilst not keeping the reader there too long. Ultimately, this is a novel about survival and it touched my heart.

[justbooksandstuff · Rating 5 out of 5]

At first my problem was with the writing style and the character’s behavior, but as I kept reading I realized how important these two things are. I think the book is so deep, and realistic. She’s a 15 years old that has been abused, and she isn’t supposed to be thinking or talking as a grown up. I really ended up connecting with her. Also I wish I knew her name, although it is unnecessary.

Great book.