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Bringing Up
Bringing Up Boys: Practical Advice and Encouragement for Those Shaping the Next Generation of Men
2002 Gold Medallion Award winner!
Sensible advice and caring encouragement on raising boys from the nation's most trusted parenting expert, Dr. James Dobson. With so much confusion about the role of men in our society, it's no wonder so many parents and teachers are at a loss about how to bring up boys. Our culture has vilified masculinity and, as a result, boys are suffering. Parents, teachers, and others involved in shaping the character of boys have lots of questions. In Bringing Up Boys, Dr. Dobson tackles these questions and offers advice and encouragement based on a firm foundation of biblical principles.
Sensible advice and caring encouragement on raising boys from the nation's most trusted parenting expert, Dr. James Dobson. With so much confusion about the role of men in our society, it's no wonder so many parents and teachers are at a loss about how to bring up boys. Our culture has vilified masculinity and, as a result, boys are suffering. Parents, teachers, and others involved in shaping the character of boys have lots of questions. In Bringing Up Boys, Dr. Dobson tackles these questions and offers advice and encouragement based on a firm foundation of biblical principles.
288 pages, Paperback
First published September 18, 2001
1098 people are currently reading
5337 people want to read
About the author
James C. Dobson
252 books377 followersA licensed psychologist and marriage, family, and child counselor, Dr. James Dobson was a clinical member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. For 14 years Dr. Dobson was an associate clinical professor of pediatrics at the University of Southern California School of Medicine, and he served for 17 years on the attending staff of Children's Hospital Los Angeles in the Division of Child Development and Medical Genetics. He earned a Ph.D. from the University of Southern California (1967) in the field of child development.
He was the author of more than 50 books, including The New Dare to Discipline, The New Strong-Willed Child, When God Doesn't Make Sense, Night Light: A Devotional for Couples, Bringing Up Boys, and the New York Times bestseller Bringing Up Girls .
Heavily involved in influencing governmental policies related to the family, Dr. Dobson was appointed by President Ronald Reagan to the National Advisory Commission to the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention. He also served on the Attorney General's Advisory Board on Missing and Exploited Children, the Department of Health and Human Services' Panel on Teen Pregnancy Prevention, and the Commission on Child and Family Welfare. He was elected in 2008 to the National Radio Hall of Fame, and in 2009 received the Ronald Reagan Lifetime Achievement Award.
He was the author of more than 50 books, including The New Dare to Discipline, The New Strong-Willed Child, When God Doesn't Make Sense, Night Light: A Devotional for Couples, Bringing Up Boys, and the New York Times bestseller Bringing Up Girls .
Heavily involved in influencing governmental policies related to the family, Dr. Dobson was appointed by President Ronald Reagan to the National Advisory Commission to the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention. He also served on the Attorney General's Advisory Board on Missing and Exploited Children, the Department of Health and Human Services' Panel on Teen Pregnancy Prevention, and the Commission on Child and Family Welfare. He was elected in 2008 to the National Radio Hall of Fame, and in 2009 received the Ronald Reagan Lifetime Achievement Award.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 752 reviews
June 6, 2011
This book was loaned to me by a friend who had purchased it, but not read it. I only finished this book so that I could do a comparative review to Raising Boys: Why Boys Are Different-And How to Help Them Become Happy and Well-Balanced Men but after reading it, I realized that this book is far more comparable to I Am America than any serious or informative text on raising boys.
Despite the fact that Raising Boys is vague on details, out of date and amateurish in the more intimate areas of brain functioning and child development, it is still far more helpful, informative and useful than this book will ever be.
You can be forgiven for assuming, as I did, that Bringing Up Boys is a book concerned with providing information for parents in understanding their boys, a variety of tips and advice on their problem behaviors and an overall plan on how to smooth the journey.
Unfortunately, Dobson's only answer to all of the above is the same to any question asked in Sunday School (and here's a tip, it's ALWAYS a variation of the following three): Jesus, prayer, the Bible.
Okay, you expect a book by an evangelist to run in such a theme. However, I also expected a book by a person with a doctorate is psychiatry to provide informed, balanced, professional advice based on research, statistics, studies and personal experience.
No. Dobson unapologetically hates feminists, liberals and homosexuals and he makes absolutely no attempt at providing balanced information. This book is nothing more than fear-mongering propaganda. Though he uses many studies to try and validate his opinion, he out-right omits balanced data or studies that don't confirm his opinion. Some of the studies he uses are out-dated or invalidated by other studies. His statistics are used to validate his opinions in one area, then disregarded in another.
For example, at one point he claims that there's no evidence for a genetic inheritance of homosexuality because twin studies show that if one twin is homosexual, then the other is statistically "only" %50 likely to be homosexual as well. Yet, later in the book he claims that our genetics are a major influence on our life and uses another twin study to validate this by stating that if one twin gets divorced then then identical twin has a %45 chance of divorcing as well!
Now I'm not arguing about the nature vs nurture because the bulk of recent scientific studies show that we are largely products of our genetics - in that part, he's right but there's little else in this book that I can say that for.
Mostly, because this book's advice for raising boys can be summed up as:
1. JESUS!
2. Love them lots
3. Spend time with them
4. MAKE SURE THEY DON'T CATCH TEH GAY!
5. Homeschooling, yeah!
[image error]
This book was offensive to logic, reason and most of all, humanity. Dobson hates:
1. Homosexuals
2. Women's liberation
3. Liberals
4. Namby-pamby people who let their children play with gender-neutral toys and don't provide young boys with toy guns, don't smack and practice that hippy, attachment parenting philosophy.
5. The media
He is terrified of them all and this book, rather than being about Bringing Up Boys as the title suggests, is really about vilifying all of the above and scare-mongering his readers into hating and fearing them as much as he does.
Every chapter went something like this:
You need to spend time with your kids. I really FEEL for single mothers/homosexuals/poor people/women who don't fit my small and pathetic definition of what I think a woman should be. Unlike me, who is a disgustingly rich, upper middle class, white man, I understand that you don't have the benefits of choices about spending time with your children. Some of you have to work in order to survive. Gee, must be tough.
But it's still important so if you can't spend more time with them... eh, I really feel for you. Please enjoy my heart-touching tale of how I once met a single mother/homosexual/poor person/woman that didn't fit my small and pathetic definition of what I think a woman should be and changed their life in a positive way. I'm so awesome.
As a woman and a feminist, I want to be mostly offended at his narrow and pathetic views on what and who I should be. However, I'm far more offended on behalf of the homosexual community who he ALMOST outright incriminates of conspiring to rape your boys. Didn't you know? All homosexual men want is to have buttsecks with little boys. All lesbians want is to groom little girls into future lesbians and - perhaps worse, feminists. I especially love how he uses the example of the LBGT community in the UK pushing for the age of consent for homosexual boys to be lowered to 16 in order to try and prove his allegations about homosexuals. Yet he conveniently neglects to mention that this was in order to equalize the age of consent because the AOC for heterosexuals was already 16! At one point he even claims that the breakdown of marriage in the US is due to the rising acceptance of same-sex relationships.
Riiiiiiiiiigggghhht!
Like I said, logic isn't his strong point!
Similarly, women's liberation is also at fault for all the ills of society and most of all, for troubled young lads. It's too exhausting to address his many inaccuracies and prejudices toward women and since this review is long enough already, I'll just leave you to assume the worst - you'll most likely be right. I wish, instead, that he'd look at his own research. He claims again and again that fathers are essential to the raising of strong, good young men. I absolutely agree. So maybe men are to blame for the current male crisis?
Just an idea?
Did it ever occur to Dobson though? Nope!
Despite the fact that Raising Boys is vague on details, out of date and amateurish in the more intimate areas of brain functioning and child development, it is still far more helpful, informative and useful than this book will ever be.
You can be forgiven for assuming, as I did, that Bringing Up Boys is a book concerned with providing information for parents in understanding their boys, a variety of tips and advice on their problem behaviors and an overall plan on how to smooth the journey.
Unfortunately, Dobson's only answer to all of the above is the same to any question asked in Sunday School (and here's a tip, it's ALWAYS a variation of the following three): Jesus, prayer, the Bible.
Okay, you expect a book by an evangelist to run in such a theme. However, I also expected a book by a person with a doctorate is psychiatry to provide informed, balanced, professional advice based on research, statistics, studies and personal experience.
No. Dobson unapologetically hates feminists, liberals and homosexuals and he makes absolutely no attempt at providing balanced information. This book is nothing more than fear-mongering propaganda. Though he uses many studies to try and validate his opinion, he out-right omits balanced data or studies that don't confirm his opinion. Some of the studies he uses are out-dated or invalidated by other studies. His statistics are used to validate his opinions in one area, then disregarded in another.
For example, at one point he claims that there's no evidence for a genetic inheritance of homosexuality because twin studies show that if one twin is homosexual, then the other is statistically "only" %50 likely to be homosexual as well. Yet, later in the book he claims that our genetics are a major influence on our life and uses another twin study to validate this by stating that if one twin gets divorced then then identical twin has a %45 chance of divorcing as well!
Now I'm not arguing about the nature vs nurture because the bulk of recent scientific studies show that we are largely products of our genetics - in that part, he's right but there's little else in this book that I can say that for.
Mostly, because this book's advice for raising boys can be summed up as:
1. JESUS!
2. Love them lots
3. Spend time with them
4. MAKE SURE THEY DON'T CATCH TEH GAY!
5. Homeschooling, yeah!
[image error]
This book was offensive to logic, reason and most of all, humanity. Dobson hates:
1. Homosexuals
2. Women's liberation
3. Liberals
4. Namby-pamby people who let their children play with gender-neutral toys and don't provide young boys with toy guns, don't smack and practice that hippy, attachment parenting philosophy.
5. The media
He is terrified of them all and this book, rather than being about Bringing Up Boys as the title suggests, is really about vilifying all of the above and scare-mongering his readers into hating and fearing them as much as he does.
Every chapter went something like this:
You need to spend time with your kids. I really FEEL for single mothers/homosexuals/poor people/women who don't fit my small and pathetic definition of what I think a woman should be. Unlike me, who is a disgustingly rich, upper middle class, white man, I understand that you don't have the benefits of choices about spending time with your children. Some of you have to work in order to survive. Gee, must be tough.
But it's still important so if you can't spend more time with them... eh, I really feel for you. Please enjoy my heart-touching tale of how I once met a single mother/homosexual/poor person/woman that didn't fit my small and pathetic definition of what I think a woman should be and changed their life in a positive way. I'm so awesome.
As a woman and a feminist, I want to be mostly offended at his narrow and pathetic views on what and who I should be. However, I'm far more offended on behalf of the homosexual community who he ALMOST outright incriminates of conspiring to rape your boys. Didn't you know? All homosexual men want is to have buttsecks with little boys. All lesbians want is to groom little girls into future lesbians and - perhaps worse, feminists. I especially love how he uses the example of the LBGT community in the UK pushing for the age of consent for homosexual boys to be lowered to 16 in order to try and prove his allegations about homosexuals. Yet he conveniently neglects to mention that this was in order to equalize the age of consent because the AOC for heterosexuals was already 16! At one point he even claims that the breakdown of marriage in the US is due to the rising acceptance of same-sex relationships.
Riiiiiiiiiigggghhht!
Like I said, logic isn't his strong point!
Similarly, women's liberation is also at fault for all the ills of society and most of all, for troubled young lads. It's too exhausting to address his many inaccuracies and prejudices toward women and since this review is long enough already, I'll just leave you to assume the worst - you'll most likely be right. I wish, instead, that he'd look at his own research. He claims again and again that fathers are essential to the raising of strong, good young men. I absolutely agree. So maybe men are to blame for the current male crisis?
Just an idea?
Did it ever occur to Dobson though? Nope!
November 3, 2007
I am raising three boys. I received this as a gift and was appalled at the anti-feminist, homophobic, religious morality rhetoric contained within this book. It is a dangerous misrepresentation of imperical psychological data to formulate correlations that are not only incorrect but also insulting. The level of chauvinism and bigotry are astounding. The author includes amusing antecdotes and a few remedial suggestions for raising boys. However, this only hides the fact that he wants you to raise homophobic, masogonistic children that will be more confused about themselves and the world that they live in.
If you are wanting advise on raising boys in modern society you are better served reading Raising Cain, by Dan Kindlon.
If you are wanting advise on raising boys in modern society you are better served reading Raising Cain, by Dan Kindlon.
August 5, 2013
before I talk about my thoughts of this books, let me suggest that this book is not for the average parent, though if the average parent would read with an open mind, it would help. no, this book is primarily for Christian parents--and there's nothing wrong with that. I mention this truism because most of the criticism of this book is on the spiritual content (stemming from non-Christians, seemingly), and not on the ACTUAL apparent content of the book, e.g., bringing up boys. if you are someone who disagrees with the assertions that Christianity and the bible make about morality, homosexuality, the traditional family unit, male/female differences and strengths, and making religion the center of raising a child, then this book is not for you--even though it's right.
having a 1.5 year old boy as of this review, I found myself really needing guidance about how to raise him up to be a godly man and a good person. I had good parents, but probably not great ones, and I often feel under-prepared and overwhelmed when I think about what I have or don't have to give to my son. I am familiar with Dobson, and knew that this book would at the very least get me in the ballpark.
Dobson is a good writer and strikes a good balance of information as a psychologist, Christian, and father. sometimes it seems that Dobson only had an example because he felt like it fit within his book outline, and there are times when his stories or examples had nothing to do with the subject at hand, and he even admitted it a few times. that made the reading a little odd. the other thing that I have to say is that he seems to really be a "traditionalist" when it comes to the family and the roles in the family, and i'm not opposed to this, per se, but since my family isn't traditional (I stay at home with my kids while my wife works), I really wanted to hear his argument for this. but the best thing you get is that "the bible says it", or something similar to that. which is not how he cites everything else in the book. I found most of the book well researched, but there are a few times--like his traditional statements--which seemed really unsupported by reason, citation, and scripture, even though he SAID it was. most of his content is very good, and the general thing I took away from it was really just how important my role as a father is in shaping my son's life, and that I need to always be mindful of that and seek God for wisdom in what I do and say. but really, that's about the only thing I took from this book. I can't ding it for major flaws, but I will say that reading this book wasn't all that illuminating for me. most of it was common sense and only reinforced my beliefs as a Christian dad. I do recommend it, and i'm going to read more from Dobson, and will read the Bringing Up Girls sequel too.
having a 1.5 year old boy as of this review, I found myself really needing guidance about how to raise him up to be a godly man and a good person. I had good parents, but probably not great ones, and I often feel under-prepared and overwhelmed when I think about what I have or don't have to give to my son. I am familiar with Dobson, and knew that this book would at the very least get me in the ballpark.
Dobson is a good writer and strikes a good balance of information as a psychologist, Christian, and father. sometimes it seems that Dobson only had an example because he felt like it fit within his book outline, and there are times when his stories or examples had nothing to do with the subject at hand, and he even admitted it a few times. that made the reading a little odd. the other thing that I have to say is that he seems to really be a "traditionalist" when it comes to the family and the roles in the family, and i'm not opposed to this, per se, but since my family isn't traditional (I stay at home with my kids while my wife works), I really wanted to hear his argument for this. but the best thing you get is that "the bible says it", or something similar to that. which is not how he cites everything else in the book. I found most of the book well researched, but there are a few times--like his traditional statements--which seemed really unsupported by reason, citation, and scripture, even though he SAID it was. most of his content is very good, and the general thing I took away from it was really just how important my role as a father is in shaping my son's life, and that I need to always be mindful of that and seek God for wisdom in what I do and say. but really, that's about the only thing I took from this book. I can't ding it for major flaws, but I will say that reading this book wasn't all that illuminating for me. most of it was common sense and only reinforced my beliefs as a Christian dad. I do recommend it, and i'm going to read more from Dobson, and will read the Bringing Up Girls sequel too.
October 29, 2007
This is a very dangerous book for mothers and fathers of boys. There is puntitive parenting tactics and worse there are scare tactics and unproven theories used to promote detaching of young children from their mother's. PLEASE, if you do read this book, read it as an opportunity to educate yourself against the Christian movement towards puntitive discipline, control and breaking of a child's spirit. I have lost all respect for Dr. Dobson after reading this book. Parts of it are so disgusting to my thoughts of gentle, graced based discipline and attachment parenting it made me physically sick.
September 9, 2013
This book assumes that all boys are the same and that they are all stereotypical. It also assumes that if your son plays with dolls, likes pink, wears his mother's shoes when he's like 3 he will grow up and be GAY.
Yes, folks, let your son do girly, girl things and he'll be out in some gay club wearing chaps with his butt hanging out looking to score.
NO THAT'S NOT EVEN GOING TO HAPPEN! Do NOT take child rearing advice from a man who thinks it's OK to go after dogs with belts and to torment small children over the slightest little thing into submission.
I haven't finished the book Real Boys, but so far it's good and acts like boys are complex people and not just stereotypes. But real people with emotions, feelings and needs.
Yes, folks, let your son do girly, girl things and he'll be out in some gay club wearing chaps with his butt hanging out looking to score.
NO THAT'S NOT EVEN GOING TO HAPPEN! Do NOT take child rearing advice from a man who thinks it's OK to go after dogs with belts and to torment small children over the slightest little thing into submission.
I haven't finished the book Real Boys, but so far it's good and acts like boys are complex people and not just stereotypes. But real people with emotions, feelings and needs.
January 14, 2011
I'm reading "Bringing Up Boys" by Dr. James Dobson (founder of Focus on the Family). I LOVE it! It has just affirmed what I know to be true: that my husband is a MAN, a REAL man (who I love to death), and that raising a boy is so important (not that raising a girl is unimportant, but if you read the book, you'll understand that it's just really different).
This is not my point to this post. It is actually about why we feel disconnected to others. I'm sure if we dig deep down, we all know that it is - in part - due to technology. We keep up with people on Facebook, email, MySpace, text messaging, etc, etc.
He says it a lot better than I can. "Are you one of these harried women running in endless circles? Have you found yourself too busy to read a good book or take a long walk with your spouse or hold your three-year-old child on your lap while telling him or her a story? Have you taken time to study God's Word - to commune with Him and listen to His gentle voice? Have you eliminated almost every meaningful activity in order to deal with the tyranny of a never-ending "to do" list? Have you ever asked yourself why in the world you have chosen to live like this?....When was the last time you had friends drop by unexpectedly for a visit?...There was a time when families made a regular habit of packing into the car and driving over to a friend's home for an afternoon of good conversation and a piece of banana-cream pie. It was one of life's special little pleasures...I'll never forget the times as a boy when I would hear a knock on the door...and a familiar voice would echo through the house, "Is anybody home?"...Sadly, that kind of spontaneous camaraderie is difficult to achieve in today's fast-paced world. The pressures and busyness of life have all but destroyed the sense of community that was once common among families and friends We seldom - if ever - drop in on friends unannounced. And even if we did, they would probably have to cancel a string of appointments in order to be with us. Thus, we go about our days, careening through life, glancing at our watches, and wondering why we don't have very many close friendships."
Wow. I remember friends of my parents calling out, "anyone home?" or my parents doing that at my grandparents' homes. I have never done that - well, not since college when I lived in the dorms. We schedule and make appointments with friends. Part of this is that friends live a distance from us. Many of us, I think, probably don't know our neighbors well. Our friends live far enough away that we need to drive to their house, and we know how busy they are so we ask when a good time to call is rather than just calling.
When was the last time you dropped in on a friend? I hope it wasn't long ago and that you'll do it again soon.
This is not my point to this post. It is actually about why we feel disconnected to others. I'm sure if we dig deep down, we all know that it is - in part - due to technology. We keep up with people on Facebook, email, MySpace, text messaging, etc, etc.
He says it a lot better than I can. "Are you one of these harried women running in endless circles? Have you found yourself too busy to read a good book or take a long walk with your spouse or hold your three-year-old child on your lap while telling him or her a story? Have you taken time to study God's Word - to commune with Him and listen to His gentle voice? Have you eliminated almost every meaningful activity in order to deal with the tyranny of a never-ending "to do" list? Have you ever asked yourself why in the world you have chosen to live like this?....When was the last time you had friends drop by unexpectedly for a visit?...There was a time when families made a regular habit of packing into the car and driving over to a friend's home for an afternoon of good conversation and a piece of banana-cream pie. It was one of life's special little pleasures...I'll never forget the times as a boy when I would hear a knock on the door...and a familiar voice would echo through the house, "Is anybody home?"...Sadly, that kind of spontaneous camaraderie is difficult to achieve in today's fast-paced world. The pressures and busyness of life have all but destroyed the sense of community that was once common among families and friends We seldom - if ever - drop in on friends unannounced. And even if we did, they would probably have to cancel a string of appointments in order to be with us. Thus, we go about our days, careening through life, glancing at our watches, and wondering why we don't have very many close friendships."
Wow. I remember friends of my parents calling out, "anyone home?" or my parents doing that at my grandparents' homes. I have never done that - well, not since college when I lived in the dorms. We schedule and make appointments with friends. Part of this is that friends live a distance from us. Many of us, I think, probably don't know our neighbors well. Our friends live far enough away that we need to drive to their house, and we know how busy they are so we ask when a good time to call is rather than just calling.
When was the last time you dropped in on a friend? I hope it wasn't long ago and that you'll do it again soon.
winter-in-pandemonium
September 9, 2013As a mother of two boys myself, any book that advises me to ensure that they grow up to be more masculine (as if that is desirable) goes straight to the DNR pile. I want my children to become loving and kind men, not misogynistic assholes who wouldn't recognize an emotion if it hit them over the head with a four by four.
Raising boys in a loving environment and letting them play with non-gender specific toys doesn't make them gay, Dr. Dobson.
Raising boys in a loving environment and letting them play with non-gender specific toys doesn't make them gay, Dr. Dobson.
January 18, 2012
Never before have I been disgusted by the fact that I spent money on a book. If I could give it zero stars, I would.
I ordered the book online after just seeing the title on a suggested reading list, and since I'm all for reading up about parenting lately and it had 4 stars, and well, I have a boy, I went ahead and ordered it without knowing anything about it or the author.
In reading the first chapter, I recognized the author and realized that his ideas were likely to be more conservative than my own. But hey, I'm a mom and I'm a Christian, so I kept an open mind.
The first few chapters made me raise a few eyebrows, but almost in a good way. It made me think about my own values and question my ideas about the family and my role as a mother. I figured that even if I didn't wholeheartedly agree with everything Dobson was saying, examining my own ideas is always a good thing. But once I was about 30% into the book, I was getting annoyed. There was nothing helpful or even specific being said about the day to day raising of boys, just generalities about the structure of the family. And I found it poorly written at that, and poorly organized. And he continually did one of my biggest pet peeves - mentioning something, then saying he'll talk about it more fully in another chapter. He also quoted himself from his other books, which I found annoying.
But then I got to the chapter on preventing homosexuality, and it just made me sick. I had to stop reading. I guess I will never know if there was ANYTHING helpful in the book because the I can't give weight or credit to any of his ideas because his views as espoused in that chapter are just a deal breaker for me. He is certainly entitled to his opinions, but I just can't take advice from someone believes what he does.
I ordered the book online after just seeing the title on a suggested reading list, and since I'm all for reading up about parenting lately and it had 4 stars, and well, I have a boy, I went ahead and ordered it without knowing anything about it or the author.
In reading the first chapter, I recognized the author and realized that his ideas were likely to be more conservative than my own. But hey, I'm a mom and I'm a Christian, so I kept an open mind.
The first few chapters made me raise a few eyebrows, but almost in a good way. It made me think about my own values and question my ideas about the family and my role as a mother. I figured that even if I didn't wholeheartedly agree with everything Dobson was saying, examining my own ideas is always a good thing. But once I was about 30% into the book, I was getting annoyed. There was nothing helpful or even specific being said about the day to day raising of boys, just generalities about the structure of the family. And I found it poorly written at that, and poorly organized. And he continually did one of my biggest pet peeves - mentioning something, then saying he'll talk about it more fully in another chapter. He also quoted himself from his other books, which I found annoying.
But then I got to the chapter on preventing homosexuality, and it just made me sick. I had to stop reading. I guess I will never know if there was ANYTHING helpful in the book because the I can't give weight or credit to any of his ideas because his views as espoused in that chapter are just a deal breaker for me. He is certainly entitled to his opinions, but I just can't take advice from someone believes what he does.
November 12, 2007
I was given this book as a gift as well. I saw this other comment written by Jane Leacock "I am raising three boys. I received this as a gift and was appalled at the anti-feminist, homophobic, religious morality rhetoric contained within this book. It is a dangerous misrepresentation of imperical psychological data to formulate correlations that are not only incorrect but also insulting. The level of chauvinism and bigotry are astounding. The author includes amusing antecdotes and a few remedial suggestions for raising boys. However, this only hides the fact that he wants you to raise homophobic, masogonistic children that will be more confused about themselves and the world that they live in.
If you are wanting advise on raising boys in modern society you are better served reading Raising Cain, by Dan Kindlon....less...more "
She hits it dead on. I never finishe dthe book and I couldn't even recycle it. It is teh only book I have ever thrown away.
Coincidentally, I am not even friends any longer with teh person who gave it to me.
If you are wanting advise on raising boys in modern society you are better served reading Raising Cain, by Dan Kindlon....less...more "
She hits it dead on. I never finishe dthe book and I couldn't even recycle it. It is teh only book I have ever thrown away.
Coincidentally, I am not even friends any longer with teh person who gave it to me.
September 12, 2011
The first time I read this book I was pregnant w. my boy but it actually taught me a lot about my husband as well. It is very interesting and informative and an easy non-fiction to get into.
I just read several people's reviews on this book and I find a lot of them downright HILARIOUS. First of all, Dr. Dobson bases his "views" on scientific research not just his opinions. Second, WHY OH WHY, do Christian folks feel the need to share a book based on inherently Christian parenting with non-Christians? Ever heard of throwing pearls at swine? It just doesn't make sense. I would never expect a non-Christian to have the same views on parenting as I do. Well, I have said all I feel the need to say. For now. . .
I just read several people's reviews on this book and I find a lot of them downright HILARIOUS. First of all, Dr. Dobson bases his "views" on scientific research not just his opinions. Second, WHY OH WHY, do Christian folks feel the need to share a book based on inherently Christian parenting with non-Christians? Ever heard of throwing pearls at swine? It just doesn't make sense. I would never expect a non-Christian to have the same views on parenting as I do. Well, I have said all I feel the need to say. For now. . .
June 27, 2007
I wanted to be turned off by this book by a very conservative author, but Dobson raised so many important points about raising a strong, confident, secure, creative little dude that I reluctantly learned a lot. However, stereotypes abound.
May 25, 2011
This is the gold standard of Christian parenting books written by THE expert. Not everyone will agree with everything in this book, but it's hard to argue with godly advice and years of experience in this field. I particularly like the conservative and very biblical approach, compared to some other popular yet secular parenting books. This book shares my morals, values and convictions. I particularly liked the insights in Chapter 9 on homosexuality and have recommended it to several friends. I have yet to see this information published elsewhere. I also liked Dobson's observations in Chapter 12 on the ridicule of men in society- I believe it's become much worse since this book has been published. And Chapter 13 opened my eyes to the benefits of homeschooling boys, and several years later we are now officially going down that road. This is a MUST for every Christian parent (of boys) library.
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August 14, 2025I’m glad I read this.
July 25, 2012
I just finished reading this book by Dr. Dobson. And if you're a parent of a boy or a grandparent, aunt, or uncle of one, I recommend reading it. I have a high regard for Dr. Dobson and this book sheds light on what makes boys tick and how you as their parent or loved one can raise them to be strong Godly men.
I admit some of the points in the book had me saying "oh, this is gonna be way too hard, how can I handle it?" But Dobson does give a message of hope. And you know what, being a parent is hard, raising Godly children in this world is extremely difficult, but we have Christ to guide us in that journey. No, I can't do it on my own or with the help of my husband even; but I can do it with Christ. And that's the point that Dr. Dobson drives home. God would not have entrusted us with raising these brilliant little men if He did not think we were up to the task.
Bringing Up Boys is a quick read that's chock full of information and I know I'll be using it as a reference in the years to come.
I admit some of the points in the book had me saying "oh, this is gonna be way too hard, how can I handle it?" But Dobson does give a message of hope. And you know what, being a parent is hard, raising Godly children in this world is extremely difficult, but we have Christ to guide us in that journey. No, I can't do it on my own or with the help of my husband even; but I can do it with Christ. And that's the point that Dr. Dobson drives home. God would not have entrusted us with raising these brilliant little men if He did not think we were up to the task.
Bringing Up Boys is a quick read that's chock full of information and I know I'll be using it as a reference in the years to come.
November 2, 2011
I gave up on this book. Several people had recommended this book to me. When I bought Bringing Up Boys, I was hoping to gain insight into raising my little one. Based on the recommendations I received, I thought the book would give advice on how to raise boys in different situations. I was greatly disappointed. Instead of advice, the book was filled with Dr. Dobson's personal opinions about parenting - most with which I disagreed. I am a Christian, but I found Dr. Dobson's views to be very narrow-minded and one-sided. One of the most discouraging aspects of the book was Dr. Dobson's view on motherhood. I was hoping he would give suggestions for how mothers can develop close relationships with their sons. I was VERY disappointed to discover that the two chapters dedicated to motherhood in Bringing Up Boys were devoted to explaining why women should stay at home with their children! Don't get me wrong - I firmly believe motherhood is one of the most important roles a woman can have. As a teacher, I have also seen how broken family relationships and absent parents can negatively impact children. But as a working mom, I resent the implication that I am somehow failing to fulfill my God-given responsibility by NOT staying home with my son. I had many other issues with Dr. Dobson's viewpoints, so I have decided not to finish the book.
June 21, 2019
I read "Bringing Up Girls" in preparation for the birth of my daughter and now that my son is expected to join our family in a couple of months I knew it would be important to also read Dobson's "Bringing Up Boys". I was not disappointed at all. Both books provide excellent advise and wisdom on the nature of boys and girls and best practices for raising them in today's world. While the books are getting a little dated, now 20 years. The truth contained in them are still incredibly relevant. Dobson goes in depth into the differences between boys and girls and how boys are uniquely created for specific tasks in live and a unique personality compared to girls. Both are precious in God's eyes. The pitfalls of our world are intense, especially in today's culture and this book helps to clearly identify them and provide guidance on how to avoid them. Ultimately though, Dobson stresses the importance of raising your son to know Christ as his own Savior, and to live that truth out in your own life as you raise your son. It is my prayer that I will be able to do that for my son as I raise him to know Jesus. I highly recommend this book to parents who are about to enjoy their first son, and many years more!
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October 25, 2010This was one of the lemons. This book came highly recommended to me and is by a well respected author. However, the book was of little/no use to me.
Here are some of the reasons this book was no good:
1) In his chapter about how schools are geared toward female sensiblities and can make it difficutl for boys to succeed - his solution was to home-school your child or send him to a private, all-boy school.
2)There is a chapter on how to prevent homosexuality.
3)Throughout the book, Dr. Dobson refers to how the feminist movement has destroyed the central family and emasculated men in our culture.
If you think that homosexuals, feminists, and democrats have ruined our country and turned men into sissies, then this is the book for you. If, however, you are looking for a book that will help you raise strong, intelligent, respectful boys, then read Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Lives of Boys instead.
Here are some of the reasons this book was no good:
1) In his chapter about how schools are geared toward female sensiblities and can make it difficutl for boys to succeed - his solution was to home-school your child or send him to a private, all-boy school.
2)There is a chapter on how to prevent homosexuality.
3)Throughout the book, Dr. Dobson refers to how the feminist movement has destroyed the central family and emasculated men in our culture.
If you think that homosexuals, feminists, and democrats have ruined our country and turned men into sissies, then this is the book for you. If, however, you are looking for a book that will help you raise strong, intelligent, respectful boys, then read Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Lives of Boys instead.
January 7, 2010
Dr. Dobson does not hide his political agenda in anything he is apart of, this book included. Some of his views may be a bit right wing, even for me. However, no one can deny the cold hard facts he lays before his readers in Bringing Up Boys.
Dobson scientifically analyzes biological data, he compares Christian perspective with secular world views/perspectives and he manages to do it all in a loving grandfatherly sort of way. His critics felt attacked by his book--I felt challenged. Yeah, so maybe he quoted mostly from Christian authors/personalities to support his views; but what do you expect? He is the leading Christian Psychologist in the US! And besides, he did manage to pull very convincing truths from a non-Christian columnist (pp202), so there!
When all is said and done, I learned an awful lot about boys/men from Dobson. Like how why it is men/boys feel the need to risk their life and limb for no apparent reason other than to "have a good time". And I will most definitely reference this book when sweet baby O hits his teens...even if that may be light years away.
Dobson scientifically analyzes biological data, he compares Christian perspective with secular world views/perspectives and he manages to do it all in a loving grandfatherly sort of way. His critics felt attacked by his book--I felt challenged. Yeah, so maybe he quoted mostly from Christian authors/personalities to support his views; but what do you expect? He is the leading Christian Psychologist in the US! And besides, he did manage to pull very convincing truths from a non-Christian columnist (pp202), so there!
When all is said and done, I learned an awful lot about boys/men from Dobson. Like how why it is men/boys feel the need to risk their life and limb for no apparent reason other than to "have a good time". And I will most definitely reference this book when sweet baby O hits his teens...even if that may be light years away.
August 21, 2015
Oh, where do I begin?
If you're looking for a book to pinpoint all the dangers teenage boys face, all the ways you're probably screwing up as a parent, and how to keep him from becoming one of the gays, well this book is for you, my friend!
Basically, Dr. Dobson blames today's current society (that is going to hell in a hand-basket) on feminists, homosexuals, liberals, and the non-saved folk. He speaks with, what I suppose he thinks is, an air of Christianity that, in reality, comes off as an air of superiority. His viewpoints are not very Christian-like, despite numerous testimonies and scripture throughout the book. I feel the need to point out that I am a Catholic, and I love God. I just expect more from someone who is supposed to be well-educated, Christian or not.
Feminists and homosexuals are his biggest targets to the downfall of masculinity. He rants about the feminist movement, only giving a brief sentence of acknowledgement that at the time it started women had no "equal pay, for equal work" and endured sexual harassment more often than men in the workplace. However, he later goes on to blame feminists for men not being able to be firm in business anymore because they have to fear a woman making false claims about harassment and losing their jobs.
Now, I'm not saying that's never happened, but do we live on the same planet Dr. Dobson? He blames high divorce rates on the feminist movement as well, but never cites how difficult it was for women at that time to get out of highly abusive relationships. I'd expect at least that from a doctor of psychology.
His viewpoints on homosexuality are very one sided. He only links articles and studies that support his viewpoint, ignoring all other evidence.
He gives advice throughout the book on how to avoid turning your child into a wild, hateful, homosexual adolescent, and then let's you know that you can do everything right and still have that outcome.
He cites, and seems to agree with, a viewpoint that mothers are basically unneeded by a boy by the time they reach age of somewhere between 3-5 (fathers are more important from that point forward), and then goes on later to say that having a stay-at-home mother (if you can afford it) is essential in the home to keep your children, but especially boys, on track and out of trouble. This is just one example of how he seems to lean in more than one direction on a subject.
Finally, I do have to give credit to Chapter 15. I agree with most of what he says in that area, a good portion of it dedicated to telling parents that it isn't so much what you give your child, but more so how you spend time with your child. I've always believed that time and love supersedes things.
Unfortunately, one chapter is not enough to save the word-vomit that was this book. If you want to read it, do so only for the laughter that his "statistics" and anecdotes provides.
If I had a physical copy of this book, I think I'd burn it.
If you're looking for a book to pinpoint all the dangers teenage boys face, all the ways you're probably screwing up as a parent, and how to keep him from becoming one of the gays, well this book is for you, my friend!
Basically, Dr. Dobson blames today's current society (that is going to hell in a hand-basket) on feminists, homosexuals, liberals, and the non-saved folk. He speaks with, what I suppose he thinks is, an air of Christianity that, in reality, comes off as an air of superiority. His viewpoints are not very Christian-like, despite numerous testimonies and scripture throughout the book. I feel the need to point out that I am a Catholic, and I love God. I just expect more from someone who is supposed to be well-educated, Christian or not.
Feminists and homosexuals are his biggest targets to the downfall of masculinity. He rants about the feminist movement, only giving a brief sentence of acknowledgement that at the time it started women had no "equal pay, for equal work" and endured sexual harassment more often than men in the workplace. However, he later goes on to blame feminists for men not being able to be firm in business anymore because they have to fear a woman making false claims about harassment and losing their jobs.
Now, I'm not saying that's never happened, but do we live on the same planet Dr. Dobson? He blames high divorce rates on the feminist movement as well, but never cites how difficult it was for women at that time to get out of highly abusive relationships. I'd expect at least that from a doctor of psychology.
His viewpoints on homosexuality are very one sided. He only links articles and studies that support his viewpoint, ignoring all other evidence.
He gives advice throughout the book on how to avoid turning your child into a wild, hateful, homosexual adolescent, and then let's you know that you can do everything right and still have that outcome.
He cites, and seems to agree with, a viewpoint that mothers are basically unneeded by a boy by the time they reach age of somewhere between 3-5 (fathers are more important from that point forward), and then goes on later to say that having a stay-at-home mother (if you can afford it) is essential in the home to keep your children, but especially boys, on track and out of trouble. This is just one example of how he seems to lean in more than one direction on a subject.
Finally, I do have to give credit to Chapter 15. I agree with most of what he says in that area, a good portion of it dedicated to telling parents that it isn't so much what you give your child, but more so how you spend time with your child. I've always believed that time and love supersedes things.
Unfortunately, one chapter is not enough to save the word-vomit that was this book. If you want to read it, do so only for the laughter that his "statistics" and anecdotes provides.
If I had a physical copy of this book, I think I'd burn it.
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July 20, 2010Oh.
This book was recommended to me by a friend who has pretty different views from mine, but I love her anyway. I had never heard of this Dr. James Dobson person (hi, apparently I live in a cave), and I thought it would simply help me understand the minds of dudes a little better since I'm pregnant with a boy and have always felt like I don't "get" boys.
My friend had told me the book was perhaps more religious or conservative than I would normally read, so I figured I'd take Dobson's views with a grain of salt. Now that I'm about 1/4 of the way through the book, I'm thinking it's time to abandon that plan. I'm not at all enjoying this negative talk of "the feminists", for one thing, and it's starting to look like Dobson is about to tell me all the things I should do to keep my son from becoming gay, because, you know, that's (a) so horrible and (b) so controllable and (c) so everyone's parents' fault. And then I finally decided to google "Focus on the Family" since this Dobson person heads that group up and I could have sworn I'd heard of them but wasn't sure what I'd heard about them (see above re: living in a cave) and, um, yeah, my views REALLY don't align with these folks.
And, really, life is too short to trudge through a book you aren't enjoying or getting a lot out of, especially when one's kidlet is due to arrive in a month and you still haven't finished all the baby knitting and sewing you had grand plans to do.
Overall: meh.
This book was recommended to me by a friend who has pretty different views from mine, but I love her anyway. I had never heard of this Dr. James Dobson person (hi, apparently I live in a cave), and I thought it would simply help me understand the minds of dudes a little better since I'm pregnant with a boy and have always felt like I don't "get" boys.
My friend had told me the book was perhaps more religious or conservative than I would normally read, so I figured I'd take Dobson's views with a grain of salt. Now that I'm about 1/4 of the way through the book, I'm thinking it's time to abandon that plan. I'm not at all enjoying this negative talk of "the feminists", for one thing, and it's starting to look like Dobson is about to tell me all the things I should do to keep my son from becoming gay, because, you know, that's (a) so horrible and (b) so controllable and (c) so everyone's parents' fault. And then I finally decided to google "Focus on the Family" since this Dobson person heads that group up and I could have sworn I'd heard of them but wasn't sure what I'd heard about them (see above re: living in a cave) and, um, yeah, my views REALLY don't align with these folks.
And, really, life is too short to trudge through a book you aren't enjoying or getting a lot out of, especially when one's kidlet is due to arrive in a month and you still haven't finished all the baby knitting and sewing you had grand plans to do.
Overall: meh.
May 1, 2009
Excellent defense of everything boy. Opens with great examples of ways in which boys and girls differ and why that is and why it matters.
Dobson understands the problems boys face in school, particularly, and why the institution is inherently feminized, not because so many teachers are female, but because schools cater to female strengths, like sitting still and working with fingers, rather than larger movements and more active pursuits. And Dobson does not argue that any of that is wrong--it's just the way it is. Parents of boys will simply need to understand it and try to help their sons through it.
I especially enjoyed his discussions of manhood and how a boy gets there.
Dobson understands the problems boys face in school, particularly, and why the institution is inherently feminized, not because so many teachers are female, but because schools cater to female strengths, like sitting still and working with fingers, rather than larger movements and more active pursuits. And Dobson does not argue that any of that is wrong--it's just the way it is. Parents of boys will simply need to understand it and try to help their sons through it.
I especially enjoyed his discussions of manhood and how a boy gets there.
April 22, 2021
I am not the intended audience of this book.
Sort of.
I suppose I am sort of the product of this book.
Sort of.
I know my parents read this book. I know they took a lot from it. And I certainly know it impacted many of the adults around me growing up. Heck, I now work for a homeschool organization which traces its roots to the very radio broadcast Dr. Dobson mentions. It felt familiar.
I think it contains lots of good content, for its audience. There is a reason many of the top reviews of this book are one-star. If you aren't a conservative Christian, it will certainly take...more grace to read this one. And if you are a conservative Christian, well...maybe also approach with grace.
I don't love everything this book said. I often cringed. Sometimes I just plain disagreed with him. He definitely wears rose-tinted glasses when he talks about the past. And his reference to sexual identity feels dated in the face of what can be found today. Some of his moral absolutes made me arch an eyebrow.
But...I'm glad I read it. And I did write down a thought or two. I can see why many conservative Christians found it impactful.
The thing is, it already feels somewhat dated. And while it doesn't take much to sift through to find the good advice, the longer time passes, the more sifting required.
Curious (and trepidatious) to try Bringing Up Girls: Practical Advice And Encouragement For Those Shaping The Next Generation Of Women since my parents did not read that one.
Sort of.
I suppose I am sort of the product of this book.
Sort of.
I know my parents read this book. I know they took a lot from it. And I certainly know it impacted many of the adults around me growing up. Heck, I now work for a homeschool organization which traces its roots to the very radio broadcast Dr. Dobson mentions. It felt familiar.
I think it contains lots of good content, for its audience. There is a reason many of the top reviews of this book are one-star. If you aren't a conservative Christian, it will certainly take...more grace to read this one. And if you are a conservative Christian, well...maybe also approach with grace.
I don't love everything this book said. I often cringed. Sometimes I just plain disagreed with him. He definitely wears rose-tinted glasses when he talks about the past. And his reference to sexual identity feels dated in the face of what can be found today. Some of his moral absolutes made me arch an eyebrow.
But...I'm glad I read it. And I did write down a thought or two. I can see why many conservative Christians found it impactful.
The thing is, it already feels somewhat dated. And while it doesn't take much to sift through to find the good advice, the longer time passes, the more sifting required.
Curious (and trepidatious) to try Bringing Up Girls: Practical Advice And Encouragement For Those Shaping The Next Generation Of Women since my parents did not read that one.
August 20, 2012
So, you're probably asking what buisness I had reading Bringing Up Boys. None really; I was just curious. You see, I wanted to get a different perspective, but I wasn't interested in changeing my views. (Thankfully) I must say that Dobson's by no means the worst writer ever to call the Earth home, and there have been other books churned out of the Christian Conservative campy that are substantially more out-there. You can tell he's sincere in his intentions, and he has Hence, I've gotta give him a handshake where a handshake is due. This is no masterpiece, of course. Dobson isn't William F. Buckley when it comes to authoring good,well-written books that promote traditional ideals; he's obviously not an intellectual, and his craftmanship abilities at writeing are in every way limited. Other then this, some of the beliefs in Bringing Up Boys have more holes then Spongebob. A good example of this is a chapter on homosexualty. Dobson doesn't even go into the point of varition in regards to sexualtiy that occur in animals, and he seems oblivous to the anthropolgical evidence of homosexuality's existence since the dawn of man as well as numerous biological similarties among gay men. There are more examples of this, obviously. Because of this, I can't recomend Bringing Up Boys for anyone;I simply disagree with everything Dobson has to say. He's got a very dogmatic way of looking at things, and you should look at what others have to say.
June 8, 2023
An excellent book that my wife and I read together. I highly recommend it for those raising boys, expecting a boy, or hoping to have a boy at some point. Dobson utilizes scripture, scientific literature, and stories from people’s lives to support the advice and truths he writes. He doesn’t stray away from the very real dangers that beset young boys in our society. Instead he exhorts parents to take up the difficult challenge of parenting well with great authority, evidence, and eloquence.
I will be keeping this book within easy reach as my wife and I look forward to bringing up our own boy in the very near future.
I will be keeping this book within easy reach as my wife and I look forward to bringing up our own boy in the very near future.
January 6, 2018
Great book. Even if a quarter of the statistics about the place of parents in raising children are true - it raises alarm bells at the place and purpose of parents in their children's lives, and raises some big questions in terms of investing time in our kids. Strongly recommend for everyone with boys. Awesome final chapter as a call to make sure the Lord is kept at the centre of our parenting.
July 23, 2014
This was a great book. As I read, it made sense of the things I saw in my students who were boys and even some of the things my Hubby does and thinks! Dobson walks the reader through how boys are different, mentally, physically, behaviorally, and how those differences impact the way a father or mother relates to them. He discusses the impact of current cultural trends, and how they will affect young boys. He speaks to the single parent, grandparents and other adults in a growing boy's life.
Only one place did I balk or disagree. When he talks about education, he makes the argument involving US test grades with other countries. I have a big beef with this and believe it is an invalid way of determining the success or failure of the US school system. Here in the US, we test *everyone*, and everyone is required to attend kindergarten through high school. Many countries out there, China being one, only allow a portion of elementary aged students to continue into jr. high, and of those, an even smaller portion go on to high school. Thus, they only test their elite students. So, of course, their test scores will be higher. I'd be fine if US test scores are only compared to those countries who also test everyone. But its unfair otherwise.
I chuckled at one place. In his evaluation of a particular parenting style and their hopes, he calls it a "pipe dream". After his warning about protecting your boys from drug use, it was humorous to find a drug reference.
Over all, I'd recommend this book to anyone with a son or boys from whom they are responsible for. I wish I'd read this before I started teaching!
Only one place did I balk or disagree. When he talks about education, he makes the argument involving US test grades with other countries. I have a big beef with this and believe it is an invalid way of determining the success or failure of the US school system. Here in the US, we test *everyone*, and everyone is required to attend kindergarten through high school. Many countries out there, China being one, only allow a portion of elementary aged students to continue into jr. high, and of those, an even smaller portion go on to high school. Thus, they only test their elite students. So, of course, their test scores will be higher. I'd be fine if US test scores are only compared to those countries who also test everyone. But its unfair otherwise.
I chuckled at one place. In his evaluation of a particular parenting style and their hopes, he calls it a "pipe dream". After his warning about protecting your boys from drug use, it was humorous to find a drug reference.
Over all, I'd recommend this book to anyone with a son or boys from whom they are responsible for. I wish I'd read this before I started teaching!
June 23, 2015
I had a tough time deciding how many stars to give this book. I didn't agree with everything he wrote (he's a bit extreme) but he has me curious enough that I want to read his book on discipline; I figured I'd better go with the higher rating if I am going to keep reading his works.
This book is packed full of statistics (circa 2000) that made my blood run cold. But he also offers helpful insights for child rearing. The first half focuses on the vital role of involved fathers, and the second about how the culture has vilified men and how we are in a different era with parents trying to raise their kids counter to what popular culture is teaching them (16 and pregnant anyone?) instead of enforcing what parents are teaching.
Overall I think I will be referring back to parts of this book over the years along with "The Wonder of Boys" as I try to raise a happy, well adjusted, hardworking, gentleman.
This book is packed full of statistics (circa 2000) that made my blood run cold. But he also offers helpful insights for child rearing. The first half focuses on the vital role of involved fathers, and the second about how the culture has vilified men and how we are in a different era with parents trying to raise their kids counter to what popular culture is teaching them (16 and pregnant anyone?) instead of enforcing what parents are teaching.
Overall I think I will be referring back to parts of this book over the years along with "The Wonder of Boys" as I try to raise a happy, well adjusted, hardworking, gentleman.
April 6, 2020
I am grateful beyond words that dr. Dobson is willing to speak the truth despite the ugly words this world throws at him. God has made men and women to be companions, not competitors. Dr. Dobson reminds us plainly that our children are gifts from God. Every mother who truly loves her children and wants what is best for them will be inspired throughout this book. True parenting is hard, criticizing is much easier.
February 29, 2012
This was awesome. Based not only on sound Biblical principles but on research into child development from varying perspectives and not just on personal experience although that plays a part as well, lending some humor to the work.
June 7, 2017
I'm due to have my first child, a son, in 4 days. Reading this book was encouraging and heartening in the face of such a confusing and upsetting social climate. I highly suggest it to anyone who believes in Gods word and is a follower of Jesus Christ.
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