How to Befriend Your Shadow: Welcoming Your Unloved Side by Monbourquette, John (2001) Paperback

by Jean Monbourquette

Monbourquette, John

Genres: Psychology, Self Help, Spirituality, France, Personal Development

156 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1997

About the author

JEAN MONBOURQUETTE, psicoterapeuta y profesor en el Instituto de pastoral de la Universidad Saint-Paul de Ottawa, es doctor en psicología por el International College de Los Ángeles. Licenciado en teología, posee también sendos "master" en filosofía y en educación por la Universidad de Ottawa, y en psicología clínica por la Universidad de San Francisco. Ha publicado en Editorial Sal Terrae: Como perdonar (4ª ed.): Reconciliarse con la propia sombra (2ª ed.) y Crecer.

Reviews

[Chidi Brendan Obiechefu · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was introduced to Carl Jung from watching Dr Jordan Peterson, and became hooked instantly.

However, I have been put off by reading any of his works because of how voluminous they are. I’m currently studying for my PhD in engineering, as well as teaching, and so I don’t have the bulk time I think is required. I have instead, digested a significant proportion of his major ideas from watching YouTube videos. I was deeply intrigued and captivated by the concepts of the shadow, ego, and the self, and so I watched and read even more about them.

Having explored the concepts, applying them practically to ones life was the next step. I found this book while searching for materials to help me achieve this, and it did exactly that. Written in plain and simple language, this book breaks down the Jungian shadow concept and individuation process into very easily-digestible chunks, even for the complete novice. It has practical exercises to get you through the process, as well as several personal anecdotes, and stories.

I’ll definitely recommend this to anyone wanting to carry out shadow work on themselves for their personal development.

[Eleanor Cowan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Simple, practical and electric, this excellent text for those seeking to better understand the shadow as described by Jungian psychology is now beautifully translated from French into English. Well known in the French community for introducing Jungian thought, John Monbourquette earned his Ph.D. in transformational psychology at the International College of Los Angeles in 1985 following his Masters in Clinical Psychology at the U. of San Francisco in 1975. A Catholic priest, Monbourquette posits that rather than recoiling and resisting it, the shadow should, conversely, be warmly welcomed. Sincere attempts should be made to understand the messages beneath its grey, sometimes heavy, cloak. The shadow, he explains, urges our growth and if we can but accept our unloved side, we can open the door to a life-long friend.

I benefited with just one of the many useful exercises in this book: Monbourquette directs readers to choose a 'shadow' symbol - anything will do. I chose a prickly, needly, dry old cactus somewhere in a gritty, arid desert. Next, we are to choose a symbol for our creativity. I selected a fountain pen. Now, he instructs, with the shadow-symbol cupped in one outstretched hand and the creativity motif in the other, slowly, with eyes closed, bring the two closer and closer together. How do the shadow-symbol and the creativity-symbol meet and interact? What happens?

As for me, my fountain pen dipped into the cactus and used the milk in it for ink!

Eleanor Cowan, author of : A History of a Pedophile's Wife: Memoir of a Canadian Teacher and Writer

[Emma Brough · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well written and clear. Interesting references and well explained; however, this is the first book I have read on the shadow and I feel I need to read another to try and gain full/better understanding.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have owned this book for years, but never read it. Finally I picked it up and was pleased with it. A book about the Shadow, written for lay persons. It was easy to read and made sense to me, allowing me to finally absorb the meaning of the concept of Shadow.

[Trey Hall · Rating 4 out of 5]

An accessible guide- and work-book that presents the foundations of a Jungian understanding of the Self within the broad themes of the (perhaps) perennial spirituality found in Christianity, Buddhism, and other great religious/spiritual traditions.

My spiritual director, a Carmelite who's also a Jungian analyst, recommended it to me, and I found it really helpful. A good accompaniment for anyone (including agnostics and atheists) pursuing spiritual/human development programmes (e.g., psychotherapy, 12-step recovery, spiritual growth) that involve surfacing, understanding, and healing/integrating the dimensions of our being that we hate, repress, and often unconsciously project onto others instead of seeing in ourselves.

A quote in the book, from John Sanford, sums it up: "God loves your shadow much more than your ego."

[Florence · Rating 4 out of 5]

Livre intéressant qui m'a été conseillé dans une démarche de travail sur moi-meme. Si au premier abord le côté spirituel m'a effrayé, il est finalement bien utilisé dans le livre. La mise en exemple des sujets permet une bonne compréhension du livre qui s'avère utile dans une démarche pour se connaître mieux et se trouver.

[LuAnn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Shadow work never ends this side of death, but this book helps clarify it and propel it, though I still get confused about identifying my shadow. I revisiting it while reading Connie Zweig’s The Inner Work of Aging: Shifting from Role to Soul which also deals with shadow work.

[José Glezeche · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ayuda a reconocer que existe una parte obscura de la personalidad, es decir, la sombra. Sin embargo, me quedé con muchas dudas de cómo reconocerla y reconciliarse con ella de manera práctica.

[Smarties · Rating 2 out of 5]

So deep for me to understand this book.. Luckily my cousin who is taking a psychology course give me a brief detail which I understand in an instant..

[Joel Lavoie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Un livre difficile qui demande introspection. Bien écrit et qui fait un pont important entre la psychologie et la spiritualité.

[Auriane_t_7 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Très intéressant, une pépite

[Emeric R. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Livre qui permet une réelle introspection. Demande beaucoup de fraîcheur mentale afin de tout saisir. Application possible.
Très bon livre pour un travail sur soi

[Said Trimpin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Buenísimo, rodea el tema de manera simple con ejemplos y pasos a pesar de ser complejo.

[Noueman Maalouf · Rating 4 out of 5]

It ignites a feeling of acceptance and joy in the heart.

[adllto · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a more than valuable book for me at this stage in life. It is key. It sits on so many shelves for me because it covers spirituality and spiritual development using Jung's psychological framework and really has both psychological and spiritual implications.

The shadow is not necessarily a negative or positive thing. It's the shadow of our persona or self-in-the-world. Monbourquette basically notes all the stuff of life we repress or suppress end up in a sort of garbage bag, which if not dealt which will bubble up and break through like fermenting garbage. "Gradually the psychic energy imprisoned in the bag will take revenge against its owner, creating a mountain of obsessions within or, externally, projecting itself onto those around us."

However if we recognize our shadow and persona and seek to bring them together in a conscious way, we are on the road to wholness. Monbourquette quotes Jacques Grand'Maison;

Encounters with the shadow will mine a depth of soul, unearth a memory, open up a horizon ... but, above all, they will lead us to an inner wellspring that can revive our passion for life, our desire to love, our will to struggle and the courage to move boldly forth into the future."

[Sasha Alexandra · Rating 3 out of 5]

An okay primer on Carl Jung's conception of the the shadow and "shadow integration." Most of the book established theoretical groundwork, and the lattermost sections discussed a practical approach on how to lead a more balanced life, wherein one is able to identify and circumvent toxic psychic projections. A better read for someone who is not overly familiar with Jungian psychology, but short, digestible and written in a plain and understandable manner.

[Ninke · Rating 3 out of 5]

De eerste hoofdstukken zijn heel boeiend, het midden is wat saai het eind wel aardig. Het midden probeert de psychologische theorie simpel uit te leggen, beetje kort door de bocht. Er staan ook enkele dingen in waar ik het mee oneens ben.
Best interessant en niet dik. Leuk voor de afwisseling, het boek is wel heel anders dan wat ik anders lees.

[François Beauregard · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellente introduction au concept de l'ombre dans un langage simple et accessible. Plusieurs conseils pratiques permettant de mettre en œuvre des stratégies pour favoriser son développement personnel.

[Catherine]

Maggie merci.

[Erika · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading very slowly...Recommended by Père Bernard Marie. Very helpful

[Abdochakour Keraoui · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ce livre vaut une deuxième lecture, basé sur la pensée de Carl G.Jung .