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Not My Mother's Sister: Generational Conflict and Third-Wave Feminism
"No matter how wise a mother's advice is, we listen to our peers." At least that's writer Naomi Wolf's take on the differences between her generation of feminists―the third wave―and the feminists who came before her and developed in the late '60s and '70s―the second wave. In Not My Mother's Sister, Astrid Henry agrees with Wolf that this has been the case with American feminism, but says there are problems inherent in drawing generational lines.
Henry begins by examining texts written by women in the second wave, and illustrates how that generation identified with, yet also disassociated itself from, its feminist "foremothers." Younger feminists now claim the movement as their own by distancing themselves from the past. By focusing on feminism's debates about sexuality, they are able to reject the so-called victim feminism of Catherine MacKinnon and Andrea Dworkin. Rejecting the orthodoxies of the second wave, younger feminists celebrate a woman's right to pleasure. Henry asserts, however, that by ignoring diverse older voices, the new generation has oversimplified generational conflict and has underestimated the contributions of earlier feminists to women's rights. They have focused on issues relating to personal identity at the expense of collective political action.
Just as writers like Wolf, Katie Roiphe, and Rene Denfeld celebrate a "new" feminist (hetero)sexuality posited in generational terms, queer and lesbian feminists of the third wave similarly distance themselves from those who came before. Henry shows how 1970s lesbian feminism is represented in ways that are remarkably similar to the puritanical portrait of feminism offered by straight third-wavers. She concludes by examining the central role played by feminists of color in the development of third-wave feminism. Indeed, the term "third wave" itself was coined by Rebecca Walker, daughter of Alice Walker.
Not My Mother's Sister is an important contribution to the exchange of ideas among feminists of all ages and persuasions.
Henry begins by examining texts written by women in the second wave, and illustrates how that generation identified with, yet also disassociated itself from, its feminist "foremothers." Younger feminists now claim the movement as their own by distancing themselves from the past. By focusing on feminism's debates about sexuality, they are able to reject the so-called victim feminism of Catherine MacKinnon and Andrea Dworkin. Rejecting the orthodoxies of the second wave, younger feminists celebrate a woman's right to pleasure. Henry asserts, however, that by ignoring diverse older voices, the new generation has oversimplified generational conflict and has underestimated the contributions of earlier feminists to women's rights. They have focused on issues relating to personal identity at the expense of collective political action.
Just as writers like Wolf, Katie Roiphe, and Rene Denfeld celebrate a "new" feminist (hetero)sexuality posited in generational terms, queer and lesbian feminists of the third wave similarly distance themselves from those who came before. Henry shows how 1970s lesbian feminism is represented in ways that are remarkably similar to the puritanical portrait of feminism offered by straight third-wavers. She concludes by examining the central role played by feminists of color in the development of third-wave feminism. Indeed, the term "third wave" itself was coined by Rebecca Walker, daughter of Alice Walker.
Not My Mother's Sister is an important contribution to the exchange of ideas among feminists of all ages and persuasions.
288 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2004
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
July 30, 2025
AN EXAMINATION OF THIRD-WAVE FEMINISM, AND ITS RELATION TO SECOND-WAVE
Astrid Henry teaches Women’s Studies at St. Mary’s College. She wrote in the Introduction to this 2004 book, “Feminism had profoundly shaped both my personal and professional lives, and I felt a strong sense of loyalty toward it. My feelings about feminism… were those of a dutiful daughter. Feminism was a mother figure to me as well---but an encouraging one that had given me much support over the years… I began work on a doctoral dissertation that examined contemporary representations of feminism…
“My project eventually became this book, with the following focus: how the mother-daughter relationship is THE central trope in depicting the relationship between the so-called second and third waves of U.S. feminism and how the employment of this metaphor… has far-reaching implications for contemporary feminism.” (Pg. 2) Later, she adds, “my goal is to examine the second wave as it has been envisioned by a wide range of next-generation feminists.” (Pg. 12-13)
She explains, “[This book] examines how cross-generational identifications---and disidentifications---have been politically emboldening to feminists of both waves… For third-wave feminists, this refused identification … is frequently with or against second-wave feminism. In fact, it appears that for many younger feminists, it is only by refusing to identify themselves with earlier versions of feminism---and frequently with older feminists---that they are able to create a feminism of their own.” (Pg. 7)
Later, she adds, “For many third-wavers, critiques of feminism’s racism, its homophobia, and its inattention to other forms of oppression among women have been at the center of what they have learned as feminist theory and the history of the women’s movement… While I don’t mean to suggest that the feminist movement of the 1970s was not ‘predominantly white and racist,’ I am interested in how repeating this representation enables younger feminists to present their new wave as more progressive and inclusive than that of their second-wave predecessors.” (Pg. 32-33)
She states, “Third-wave feminists’ preference for defining feminism in their own terms---that is, for each individual feminist to define feminism FOR HERSELF INDIVIDUALLY---can be seen in the original declaration of the third wave, Rebecca Walker’s 1992 statement ‘I Am the Third Wave.’… Walker does not speak in a collective voice. There is no ‘we’ in this statement, just an I.’ … she writes about her own, individual desire to devote her life to feminism.” (Pg. 43)
She notes, “While many second-wave feminists argued that sexual freedom and pleasure were central to women’s political liberation, others insisted that sex was primarily a site of oppression and danger to women… third-wave feminists have gravitated toward the former position, stressing the liberating potential of sexuality. Rejecting the so-called victim feminism of Catherine MacKinnon and Andrea Dworkin, with its focus on the danger of rape and women’s lack of agency and power, third-wave feminists have instead celebrated those aspects of second-wave feminism that assert a woman’s right to pleasure.” (Pg. 88)
She asserts, “In [Rene] Denfeld’s account [in ‘The New Victorians’], male-bashing, mandated lesbian sexuality, separatism, and repressive sexual mores are all linked, forming an image of THE feminist ‘position’ on sexuality. Not only is lesbian sexuality mandated—that is, forced, not desired---it is equated with male-bashing and repressive sexual mores. The image of lesbianism offered here is anti-male, anti-sex, and prudish. This lesbianism is not about pleasure, but about the ABSENCE of pleasure.” (Pg. 104)
She observes, “One of the defining issues of the generational struggle between feminism’s second and third waves is sex. According to some third-wave feminists, the second wave represents a movement and a theory stripped of sexuality whose only power comes from stridently saying no. Second-wave feminists are accused of puritanism and of imposing their sexual morality on other feminists and society at large… some straight third-wavers complain that feminism has never given them a way to express the pleasures of sexuality. The second-wave feminism that they ubiquitously critique—and ironically confirm as all-powerful---is anti-sex.” (Pg. 115)
She points out that “Here [Rebecca] Walker suggests that this new feminism involves more than just a shift in philosophy or ideology; rather, it represents a demographic shift to those who make up the next generation of feminists---‘a generation that has grown up transgender, bisexual, interracial’ and thus has trouble thinking in such binary terms. In other words, racial, sexual, and gender identities have become more complex and so, correspondingly, must feminism.” (Pg. 159)
She reports of the Anita Hill/Clarence Thomas hearings, “Anita Hill’s testimony and the condescending response given to it by the Senate Judiciary Committee inspired a feminist political awakening in women across the U.S., providing the catalyst for what we now call the third wave of feminism… The Thomas hearings mobilized women of all ages into action; they worked to elect record numbers of women into political office in 1992. The Thomas hearings helped put feminist issues back into media spotlight after the bleak anti-feminist 1980s.” (Pg. 160-161)
She concludes, “Conflict within feminism, even when posited as generational, should not be avoided. Some of feminism’s current struggles may very well be among women themselves and thus vitally necessary for feminists to examine in more detail… I do not think the solution to our current generational impasse is to sidestep the problem of generations in order to move on. Rather, we must continue to examine our generational differences and alliances in order to understand their psychological power for feminists… the attention on generational differences has dramatically shifted feminism’s focus from external enemies to internal ones. If feminism is indeed like a family, it would be wise of us not to forget its absent father.” (Pg. 183)
This book will be of keen interest to those studying contemporary feminism (of whatever ‘wave’).
Astrid Henry teaches Women’s Studies at St. Mary’s College. She wrote in the Introduction to this 2004 book, “Feminism had profoundly shaped both my personal and professional lives, and I felt a strong sense of loyalty toward it. My feelings about feminism… were those of a dutiful daughter. Feminism was a mother figure to me as well---but an encouraging one that had given me much support over the years… I began work on a doctoral dissertation that examined contemporary representations of feminism…
“My project eventually became this book, with the following focus: how the mother-daughter relationship is THE central trope in depicting the relationship between the so-called second and third waves of U.S. feminism and how the employment of this metaphor… has far-reaching implications for contemporary feminism.” (Pg. 2) Later, she adds, “my goal is to examine the second wave as it has been envisioned by a wide range of next-generation feminists.” (Pg. 12-13)
She explains, “[This book] examines how cross-generational identifications---and disidentifications---have been politically emboldening to feminists of both waves… For third-wave feminists, this refused identification … is frequently with or against second-wave feminism. In fact, it appears that for many younger feminists, it is only by refusing to identify themselves with earlier versions of feminism---and frequently with older feminists---that they are able to create a feminism of their own.” (Pg. 7)
Later, she adds, “For many third-wavers, critiques of feminism’s racism, its homophobia, and its inattention to other forms of oppression among women have been at the center of what they have learned as feminist theory and the history of the women’s movement… While I don’t mean to suggest that the feminist movement of the 1970s was not ‘predominantly white and racist,’ I am interested in how repeating this representation enables younger feminists to present their new wave as more progressive and inclusive than that of their second-wave predecessors.” (Pg. 32-33)
She states, “Third-wave feminists’ preference for defining feminism in their own terms---that is, for each individual feminist to define feminism FOR HERSELF INDIVIDUALLY---can be seen in the original declaration of the third wave, Rebecca Walker’s 1992 statement ‘I Am the Third Wave.’… Walker does not speak in a collective voice. There is no ‘we’ in this statement, just an I.’ … she writes about her own, individual desire to devote her life to feminism.” (Pg. 43)
She notes, “While many second-wave feminists argued that sexual freedom and pleasure were central to women’s political liberation, others insisted that sex was primarily a site of oppression and danger to women… third-wave feminists have gravitated toward the former position, stressing the liberating potential of sexuality. Rejecting the so-called victim feminism of Catherine MacKinnon and Andrea Dworkin, with its focus on the danger of rape and women’s lack of agency and power, third-wave feminists have instead celebrated those aspects of second-wave feminism that assert a woman’s right to pleasure.” (Pg. 88)
She asserts, “In [Rene] Denfeld’s account [in ‘The New Victorians’], male-bashing, mandated lesbian sexuality, separatism, and repressive sexual mores are all linked, forming an image of THE feminist ‘position’ on sexuality. Not only is lesbian sexuality mandated—that is, forced, not desired---it is equated with male-bashing and repressive sexual mores. The image of lesbianism offered here is anti-male, anti-sex, and prudish. This lesbianism is not about pleasure, but about the ABSENCE of pleasure.” (Pg. 104)
She observes, “One of the defining issues of the generational struggle between feminism’s second and third waves is sex. According to some third-wave feminists, the second wave represents a movement and a theory stripped of sexuality whose only power comes from stridently saying no. Second-wave feminists are accused of puritanism and of imposing their sexual morality on other feminists and society at large… some straight third-wavers complain that feminism has never given them a way to express the pleasures of sexuality. The second-wave feminism that they ubiquitously critique—and ironically confirm as all-powerful---is anti-sex.” (Pg. 115)
She points out that “Here [Rebecca] Walker suggests that this new feminism involves more than just a shift in philosophy or ideology; rather, it represents a demographic shift to those who make up the next generation of feminists---‘a generation that has grown up transgender, bisexual, interracial’ and thus has trouble thinking in such binary terms. In other words, racial, sexual, and gender identities have become more complex and so, correspondingly, must feminism.” (Pg. 159)
She reports of the Anita Hill/Clarence Thomas hearings, “Anita Hill’s testimony and the condescending response given to it by the Senate Judiciary Committee inspired a feminist political awakening in women across the U.S., providing the catalyst for what we now call the third wave of feminism… The Thomas hearings mobilized women of all ages into action; they worked to elect record numbers of women into political office in 1992. The Thomas hearings helped put feminist issues back into media spotlight after the bleak anti-feminist 1980s.” (Pg. 160-161)
She concludes, “Conflict within feminism, even when posited as generational, should not be avoided. Some of feminism’s current struggles may very well be among women themselves and thus vitally necessary for feminists to examine in more detail… I do not think the solution to our current generational impasse is to sidestep the problem of generations in order to move on. Rather, we must continue to examine our generational differences and alliances in order to understand their psychological power for feminists… the attention on generational differences has dramatically shifted feminism’s focus from external enemies to internal ones. If feminism is indeed like a family, it would be wise of us not to forget its absent father.” (Pg. 183)
This book will be of keen interest to those studying contemporary feminism (of whatever ‘wave’).
August 19, 2017
I initially took this out of the library for my dissertation research, with a vague sense that it might be useful to better develop a more nuanced understanding of Third Wave feminism. As it turns out, I got completely sucked in and read it in its entirety. Her analyses of feminist histories and the intergenerational discursive and theoretical relationships among the various waves of feminism were fascinating. An unexpected pleasure.
May 26, 2021
Enjoyed it for uni
October 29, 2007
This book was nothing special. There was some interesting discussion on the different ways the various waves have approached feminist theory, especially in terms of sexuality in gender, but it was repetitive and didn't really say much.
May 9, 2011
Too caught up in the idea of defined "waves." Found myself disagreeing with Henry and was often not able to pull me back into the book's argument. Worth the read, perfect if you read another "feminist" book before or after it to build a more dimensional idea of the "third-wave"
January 3, 2016
I've had the pleasure of reviewing this book: Looser, Devoney. Rev. of Not My Mother’s Sister: Generational Conflict and Third-Wave Feminism, by Astrid Henry. WSQ: Women’s Studies Quarterly 34.3–4 (2006): 245–48. Print.
January 10, 2008
DNF; a lot of historical feminism but it was so boring and academic I had no patience for it.
Currently reading
July 10, 2008just started this book but great for any "3rd wave" feminists having issues/conflicts with "2nd wavers" and the understanding of the dynamic between thw "waves"
June 1, 2010
Though I definitely disagree with many of her statements of lesbian sexual practices, this book is genious! It certainly takes feminist theory, research, and activist methodology to new levels.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews