Whole Child/Whole Parent

by Polly Berrien Berends

For more than two decades, Whole Child/Whole Parent, the first spiritually oriented book on parenthood and the first to address the value of parenthood for the parent as well as for the child, has provided a sound, practical, psychological and spiritual footing for parenthood and family life. This fourth edition includes new material for contemporary parents on anger, children's dreams, maintaining individual and family life, marital as well as parental life, and many new personal anecdotes. It is the perfect guide "not merely for parents who want to raise their children in the best manner possible, it is for all people, including adults who want to raise themselves." (M. Scott Peck, from the foreword).Whether exploring love and discipline or bedtime and storybook reading, Berends shows the practical relevance of spiritual insights to the most ordinary parental tasks.

Genres: Parenting, Psychology, Nonfiction, Social Science, Spirituality

360 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 1975

Reviews

[Nathaniel Irvin · Rating 2 out of 5]

I admit I didn't finish this book, but that's because I found it impossible to get through. The language was incredibly dense, and when I really broke it down, I felt like it wasn't actually *saying* anything. I think the whole message of the book could be summed up as this: "Don't get bogged down in the mechanics of raising the child; think about the kind of person you're creating, and focus on the broad view. Don't raise your children (per se); love them." A good message, yes, but worthy of a book, no. She could have said everything she needed to say in just an essay.

[Allison Hibbs · Rating 5 out of 5]

I underlined something on nearly every page. I will keep this on my nightstand for years, to nibble on.

"As the nursing child needs a nursing parent, so the learning/seeing child needs a learning/seeing parent more than a teaching one"

"We can see that our baby is as much an instrument for nourishment as we are for her. We can foster her growth as a peaceful and loving individual only if we nourish her with love and peace. Which, we can only express if it is known within ourselves, hungered for and fed upon in our own consciousness. This brings us to the table of Love."

"Considering the deeper, essential issues of being helps to put things in perspective and orient us toward what is really important and necessary in our role as a mother or father. Simultaneously, it enables us to deal with all the temporary but time-consuming trivia of parenthood with maximum intelligence, grace, and much less fuss"

"What is a child *in essence*? What is it about the child from the very beginning that becomes ever more evident rather than less so all her life? You experience this as vitality when she kicks inside your growing belly, pressing against limits. When she is born, she will look at you, and you will see this essence peering out at you. Where was it before this moment? What was it like for her there? What *is* it? And how, here and now, are you going to nurture, guide, and connect with this individual?"

Ok. I'm done. Thanks for coming to my TedTalk 💕

[Carolyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

a book on parenting that stands far above anything else on the topic

[Sophie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Didn’t finish it

[Betsy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is hands down the best book I ever read about parenting. I still read it and my kids are almost grown. If you lean toward any kind of a spiritual outlook on things, I promise, she will speak to you. Common sense, down to earth, warm and wise, Polly Berrien Berends is like the aunt or the mother or the wise family friend you always wish you had, who will confirm what you already suspect to be true, and debunk a lot of the crap that masquerades out there as good advice about how to raise kids into mature, stand-up adults.

[Marcia Scurfield · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not only do I think this is the best book on child rearing, I think it is one of the very best on understanding psychology and how to live your best life. I first read it in the early 1980's when my kids were small, but periodically reread sections, such as when my first grandchild was expected this past summer.

[Liz · Rating 3 out of 5]

A very impractical parenting book, which was exactly why I wanted to read it. You do have to sort through some repetitive philosophical birdwalks to get there, but there is good perspective to be gleaned.

[Paige]

Just started it...

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am always reading this book. got a copy in 1999, and have been reading/re-reading it since. thank you P.B.B.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book has great advice although I'm not a fan of all of the scripture quoted in the book. I do refer to it often though and plan on passing it on when I'm done with it :)

[Patricia Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

It has the words to Wynken, Blynken and Nod. Read it because my daughter-in-law read it before she made me a grandma.

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book early in my mothering journey. I found it a very important text that offered the mothersense guidance I needed.

[Natalie · Rating 5 out of 5]

The best parenting book I've read. Really insightful, not prescriptive.

[Erinn]

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