Say Goodbye to Crazy: How to Get Rid of His Crazy Ex and Restore Sanity to Your Life

by Tara Palmatier, Paul Elam

If you have an ex-wife in your life that is ruining your current marriage and wreaking havoc with your family, read this book. It will give you the answers you need to live a life free of chaos, anger and frustration. Say Goodbye to Crazy is one of the few books that addresses how to cope with a hostile, angry ex-wife whose destructive behavior is overlooked by the courts, the society and sometimes, even your own husband. It is a life-saver. ~ Helen Smith, PhD, forensic psychologist and author of Men on Strike

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Relationships

264 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 10, 2015

Reviews

[Johnny Rivera · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who was a victim of a narcissistic ex-wife, I highly recommend this book. It is also a fantastic guidebook for single men who want to marry someday to recognize and avoid these potentially fatal attractions. If you've never seen Fatal Attraction, do so. If you've never paid attention to the Jodi Arias murder case, research it. Narcissists are everywhere; even in church. Narcissists come in all sizes and flavors and often look for positions of trust and leadership. They can be doctors, lawyers, nurses, paramedics, police, judges, bosses and managers. They can also work as a janitor or a home health aide.

This book explains how to say goodbye to crazy.

If you suspect someone you know is in a relationship with a narcissist, this book is for you, too. You may save that person's life one day.

Yes, it's that serious. Ask anyone who was fortunate to come out of a narc relationship alive. They will agree with me; it was like they invited hell into their lives.

Buy this book. Read it. Memorize it. Embrace it. Be prepared. You won't regret it.

[Carleen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is spot on and eye opening! I have a very close friend with an ex wife whom this book is, I'm almost positive, written about. It scares me that there is a book written about her so that means there must be more of them out there!? That is scary! I am so glad this book exists so that those who are suffering have a sort of guideline to follow in dealing with such an awful person. We bought 10 of these books so we could give them to other family members and friends. Some of who suffer at the same hand or at least can see what my close friend is dealing with.

[Jess · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hands down perfect.

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

RR: life changing.

[Meaghan Sinclair · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very helpful

This book opened my eyes to what it is we need to do and boundaries we need to set to truly be free and live our lives, happily. It further solidified that setting boundaries and learning to not respond isn’t bad or make us bad coparents, it’s actually encouraged. It was also nice to not feel so alone. Highly recommend for anyone dealing with a high conflict parent.

[R · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is good in that it helps you feel seen and understood in regard to being in a relationship with an abusive ex-partner. However, I often found myself cringing and being put off by the misogynistic tone. The fact that one of the authors is a well known MRA and uses that stance to attack feminism under the guise of “self help” and pitting women against one another bothered me a lot.

There was some good information but a lot of the book was spent attacking, dehumanizing, and diminishing the ex-partner instead of giving solid advice on how to proceed in parenting around the abusive ex.

It’s easy to feel hateful and want to read affirmations of hateful behavior toward you when you’re involved with an abusive partner. This book validates much of that but doesn’t give good options for taking that negativity out of your own dealings with an abusive ex-partner.

In summary, there are far better options out there for books about dealing with a High Conflict ex. This one appeals to the worst in us and glorifies it without giving many realistic solutions that a court or mediator will look kindly upon.

[Duncan Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

I give this five stars for its practical value to those dealing with a crazy ex, and in particular for exposing the gynocentric nature of mental health professionals and mainstream views of male-female dynamics in general. I especially liked the 'Golden Uterus' description.

The only criticism I have is that some of the writing is not up to Paul Elam's usual standard. I've read some of his essays and heard his talks and he is a brilliant writer at times. This book feels a little repetitive in the way it's written and the word 'Crazy' recurs too often (yes, even though the book is about 'Crazy'). I suppose this book is mainly a practical guide, but I think Elam, with his outstanding gift for writing / speaking, could revise the book a little.

[Kevin B · Rating 5 out of 5]

Insightful

This book allows one to know that what one experienced in ones own relationship is not an isolated experience. It was reassuring to know one is not alone in dealing with this type of personality, and there are methods and mindsets needed to control future abusive atmospheres.

[Angela · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was the backup for which I was looking !

Repetitive? Some people need repetition to get it. If you or your partner continues to put your relationship second to their ex over an extended period of time, this book may be just what you need to read.
My husband finally saw what I've been trying to tell him for 7+ years.

[Michele Guyer · Rating 2 out of 5]

If you have ever dealt with a high-conflict ex, this book will make you feel seen. However, that is where the praise for this book stops. There is a line between hating toxic behavior (from anyone, male or female) and just hating women. These authors cross that line. I cannot recommend this book. Find some blog posts about how to set stronger boundaries and avoid finding that information here.

[Lorena · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dealing with a crazy ex-wife can be earth-shattering. This book gets to the point and hits the nail on the head every time. I read it first and have been able to implement changes in our lives, now I'm convincing my partner to read it (he's the one with the high conflict ex).

[Rahnesa · Rating 5 out of 5]

A necessity

This book is a necessity for step mothers dealing with high conflict baby mamas. The information in this book is valuable. It's not sugar coated, it's honest. I am going to read it again because I still have a lot to learn and put into effect.

[Gail · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best advise for anyone dealing with a controlling ex!

Spot on information in this book. I wished it was around 26 years ago. My husband and I couldn't agree more with this approach!

[Katie Gootee · Rating 2 out of 5]

Any one that has actually done the work in therapy and has even just a basic understanding of psychology will not get much more than validation from this book. Also, if you are even remotely feminist, you will get pissed off. I love the concept and I was hopeful for some hope, but I guess not.

[Kirstin Dragasakis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Unfortunately, I found this book very helpful. Recommended by a friend and I recommend it to anyone who is in a similar situation.

[Stacey Darrell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am sure this author has been sitting on my shoulder for the past 5 years! Loved this book! Thank you!

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

On point!

This book helped me understand what my husband had and was going through. It also helped to know that it happened to other people, as well.

[Anna G · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is my go-to handbook for coping. I revisit it with every new incursion into our lives.

[Courtney Perez · Rating 5 out of 5]

To the point. Includes actionable steps and advice to managing boundaries with a Crazy.

[Arianne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Helped me gain my strength. Also, to know I’m not alone.

[Jacqui Adams · Rating 2 out of 5]

Helpful information mired in bias and condescension.

Some really helpful information but definitely bogged down in bias and over-correction in reaction to a very biased judicial system and societal standards. It’s not wrong to promote men’s rights, especially when it comes to family courts but it over corrects to be somewhat isolating to at times insulting to stepmoms who may consider themselves feminists in highly conflictual coparenting relationships.

[Jennifer Rigney · Rating 5 out of 5]

Practical and to the point!

I wish I had read this book a long time ago. Tons of insight and practical tips for dealing with my fiancé's crazy ex. If you are having trouble with your own Crazy you need this yesterday.

[Susan Z · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hmm. This book has a strong bias in favor of MRA-type thinking, but it still features some sound strategies for dealing with high-conflict exes.

[Alyssa Rennie · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book is amazing:)