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Building Confidence in Your Child
A solid sense of self-worth helps children make good choices, develop healthy relationships, and work to achieve their dreams. Based on a biblical understanding of human value, Building Confidence in Your Child teaches moms and dads how to parent positively to help their children grow into secure adults who are poised for success in life. Deftly balancing the principles of humility and pride, trusted author and parenting expert Dr. James Dobson offers practical pointers that break through the theories and get right down to the decisions parents have to make every day.
242 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 1, 2010
37 people are currently reading
522 people want to read
About the author
James C. Dobson
253 books376 followersA licensed psychologist and marriage, family, and child counselor, Dr. James Dobson was a clinical member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. For 14 years Dr. Dobson was an associate clinical professor of pediatrics at the University of Southern California School of Medicine, and he served for 17 years on the attending staff of Children's Hospital Los Angeles in the Division of Child Development and Medical Genetics. He earned a Ph.D. from the University of Southern California (1967) in the field of child development.
He was the author of more than 50 books, including The New Dare to Discipline, The New Strong-Willed Child, When God Doesn't Make Sense, Night Light: A Devotional for Couples, Bringing Up Boys, and the New York Times bestseller Bringing Up Girls .
Heavily involved in influencing governmental policies related to the family, Dr. Dobson was appointed by President Ronald Reagan to the National Advisory Commission to the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention. He also served on the Attorney General's Advisory Board on Missing and Exploited Children, the Department of Health and Human Services' Panel on Teen Pregnancy Prevention, and the Commission on Child and Family Welfare. He was elected in 2008 to the National Radio Hall of Fame, and in 2009 received the Ronald Reagan Lifetime Achievement Award.
He was the author of more than 50 books, including The New Dare to Discipline, The New Strong-Willed Child, When God Doesn't Make Sense, Night Light: A Devotional for Couples, Bringing Up Boys, and the New York Times bestseller Bringing Up Girls .
Heavily involved in influencing governmental policies related to the family, Dr. Dobson was appointed by President Ronald Reagan to the National Advisory Commission to the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention. He also served on the Attorney General's Advisory Board on Missing and Exploited Children, the Department of Health and Human Services' Panel on Teen Pregnancy Prevention, and the Commission on Child and Family Welfare. He was elected in 2008 to the National Radio Hall of Fame, and in 2009 received the Ronald Reagan Lifetime Achievement Award.
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Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews
March 6, 2019
Although I appreciate the faith-based, strong parenting views in this book, far too much time was spent identifying the barriers to children's confidence and not enough time discussing strategies of combating the barriers. I believe too much emphasis is placed of appearance and intellect as the primary developers of confidence. I think this is too narrow a view of the holistic person. The author's views are strongly black and white. Although I agree with his basic premise of building confidence with strong honest tools, i do not believe that alternate parenting options lack all benefit. The book presents the idea of one way or a hopeless future for your child.
February 12, 2019
No helpful tips or action plan. Not to mention culturally insensitive and homophobic.
May 17, 2017
Dated opinions do not make compelling arguments.
February 22, 2024
Some helpful insight, some good reminders. Ultimately author is a psychologist first, Christian second so the book has too much psychology and not enough Biblical Truth for me from a Christian author.
Most of the example social situations are outdated, though the under current is still the same for today. Technology/social media is not addressed.
Most of the example social situations are outdated, though the under current is still the same for today. Technology/social media is not addressed.
August 3, 2015
I made it to chapter 6 but I guess I'm done reading this one. I really loved the first part but when I reached the "how to" section I couldn't shake the feeling that I've already screwed up my kids. I don't need another book telling me that I'm a bad mother. I do what I can but I'm a worse mother if I let that kind of crap into my head.
July 6, 2020
The first big section is all about beauty and our culture which I wasn't interested in, but after that I liked a lot of the ideas.
Ch 3 "Fortunately the average child is average with oversized needs to be loved and accepted as is."
Self esteem is the most fragile characteristic in human nature and once broken is very difficult to repair.
Ch 4 Guard what you say in your child's hearing. It takes time to parent when children are small. They don't fit into a to-do list. They need to fit into our schedule somewhere. Time shows love.
"Slow down parents. Your children will be gone so quickly and you will have nothing but blurred memories of those years they needed you."
Praise is earned - behavior, flattery isn't - looks.
Offer frequent genuine specific praise.
Ch 5 Don't emphasize your flaws to others, like saying I'm fat enough without that sundae or I'm not good at math, etc.
Kids need your help to make friends. Invite them to your house, on outings, etc. You can observe social mistakes and help your child improve his relationships with others.
Child needs to know you understand and appreciate his feelings.
Kids learn from problems and some confrontation. Don't try to sweep aside every hurdle from their paths.
Child needs minor setbacks and disappointments. If not, how will they learn to cope with problems and frustration?
Help them find their strengths, start early.
Because athletic ability ranks the highest for boys, we should give them training in basketball, tennis, etc and not just piano.
Begin very early to instruct on the true values of life: love for others, kindness, integrity, trustworthiness, truthfulness, and devotion to God. Still need to look good etc for social “game” we must play but we know the game isn’t that important.
Kids won’t want to participate in something their sibling excels at so find a new area they can dominate in.
We must help our children compete socially, academically, athletically, etc while assuring them they have immense worth whether they win or lose in society’s struggles.
Ch 6 parent positively
High esteem children were clearly loved and appreciated at home, parents were more strict in discipline, homes of democracy and openness. Once boundaries for behavior were established, there was freedom for individual personalities to develop.
Ch 3 "Fortunately the average child is average with oversized needs to be loved and accepted as is."
Self esteem is the most fragile characteristic in human nature and once broken is very difficult to repair.
Ch 4 Guard what you say in your child's hearing. It takes time to parent when children are small. They don't fit into a to-do list. They need to fit into our schedule somewhere. Time shows love.
"Slow down parents. Your children will be gone so quickly and you will have nothing but blurred memories of those years they needed you."
Praise is earned - behavior, flattery isn't - looks.
Offer frequent genuine specific praise.
Ch 5 Don't emphasize your flaws to others, like saying I'm fat enough without that sundae or I'm not good at math, etc.
Kids need your help to make friends. Invite them to your house, on outings, etc. You can observe social mistakes and help your child improve his relationships with others.
Child needs to know you understand and appreciate his feelings.
Kids learn from problems and some confrontation. Don't try to sweep aside every hurdle from their paths.
Child needs minor setbacks and disappointments. If not, how will they learn to cope with problems and frustration?
Help them find their strengths, start early.
Because athletic ability ranks the highest for boys, we should give them training in basketball, tennis, etc and not just piano.
Begin very early to instruct on the true values of life: love for others, kindness, integrity, trustworthiness, truthfulness, and devotion to God. Still need to look good etc for social “game” we must play but we know the game isn’t that important.
Kids won’t want to participate in something their sibling excels at so find a new area they can dominate in.
We must help our children compete socially, academically, athletically, etc while assuring them they have immense worth whether they win or lose in society’s struggles.
Ch 6 parent positively
High esteem children were clearly loved and appreciated at home, parents were more strict in discipline, homes of democracy and openness. Once boundaries for behavior were established, there was freedom for individual personalities to develop.
December 29, 2018
A must-read for parents!
Dr. James Dobson is a trusted source for Christian families seeking support. In this book he gives insight into cause of the low self esteem epidemic we're facing - a lack of Biblical values being taught and honored throughout society and the attack of Satan through the media to devalue human life with a false set of values based on impossible -to-attain physical beauty, wealth, and fame. He also gives direction for how we as parents can instill in our children the truth - that their value and worth comes from God, regardless of their looks or abilities or lack thereof. I highly recommend this book!
Dr. James Dobson is a trusted source for Christian families seeking support. In this book he gives insight into cause of the low self esteem epidemic we're facing - a lack of Biblical values being taught and honored throughout society and the attack of Satan through the media to devalue human life with a false set of values based on impossible -to-attain physical beauty, wealth, and fame. He also gives direction for how we as parents can instill in our children the truth - that their value and worth comes from God, regardless of their looks or abilities or lack thereof. I highly recommend this book!
February 21, 2021
Another great book by Dr. Dobson. In this book, Dr. Dobson addresses issues that children face when it comes to the area of self-worth and the inferiority that many children face today. He addresses how society and many parents tie the value and worth of children to things such as beauty, intelligence, and athletic ability. He also addresses how parents can avoid the pitfalls of making such mistakes and gives tremendous guidance on providing an atmosphere that can be encouraging for children and adolescents. This is definitely worth reading in the age we are living in.
October 29, 2018
Interesting that the book was written in the 70's but the principles hold true 4 decades later. The first part on beauty and intelligence was most interesting, as well as the principle of compensation as a strategy in building self confidence. Rest of the book was a bit fluff
November 19, 2020
This is solid information about how to build confidence into your kids. Since much of it is common sense, I give it a four. Dobson surely is a master of stories that pull at the heart empathy of his readers.
October 29, 2021
Book is a bit dated and has some religious undertones and he does condone moments of spanking.
I tuned some of those out but there are some nuggets of wisdom hidden in here just need your filter turned up depending on your situation.
I tuned some of those out but there are some nuggets of wisdom hidden in here just need your filter turned up depending on your situation.
December 26, 2021
I would have stopped reading it if I wasn’t working toward my 40 books goal.
This could have been written in 1975 from the dated view of homosexuality and women and male roles in parenting/workplace.
I found a view tidbits of help but I’m general I recommend people take a pass on this one.
This could have been written in 1975 from the dated view of homosexuality and women and male roles in parenting/workplace.
I found a view tidbits of help but I’m general I recommend people take a pass on this one.
December 27, 2023
Lots of dated references and studies. Could use another revamp. Also while I agreed so much in the author's main points, there were some minor points that he threw in that I simply disagreed with completely. (Pretty much anything health and nutrition). He should stick to what he knows.
November 4, 2019
Full of tips and tricks that I might be able to use in the future. Took me 11 months to finish - I'm not that disciplined.
January 26, 2021
Great investment for parents!
March 27, 2025
He has some really good points on how to raise confidence in your child, but then all that is wiped away by controlling every aspect of your child's life and using corporal punishment methods 🥺
February 8, 2017
I'm in one of the first chapters about beauty...tons of examples about our warped society. I want to hear more about how to help fight that in my home, I'm feeling depressed already by this.
goodreads-win
May 20, 2015Goodreads win. Will read and review once received.
December 28, 2011
Great read for all moms.
April 27, 2016
I wasn't a big fan of this book. It started to make me feel like my mom skills were wrong.
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews